No Regrets
by heartless16
Summary: My name is Raven and I have done terrible things. I fell in love with Robin's greatest enemy and now I'm pregnant. My name is Raven and I have no regrets. Please critique!
1. Chapter 1

**Slightly AU**

This is a Raven/RedX fic. There might be a Rob/ Rae/X triangle but I am not sure yet. sorry if any characters are OCC. I really tried. Please review this and my other stories.

**Disclaimer: I don't own teen titans**

**Chapter 1**

* * *

_Regrets._

_To have a regret is a strange thing... you ponder about them, wonder why you made such decisions in the first place. At the time, one never thinks of the consequences, of what might happen if your strange thoughts are carried out...or acted upon._

_Regrets don't just involve you...they often drag in everyone around you, they destroy friendships and in my strange case, created new ones. Don't be deceived, although you gain something at first ...the cards will go crashing down eventually._

_My name is Raven, and yes, I too, have regrets._

_I have done terrible things...things that deem me unworthy to be on the Titans team or to even to be called a hero. I have saved and rescued many people. The town looks up to me, they respect and adore me._

_But they cannot see the darkness...the bad things I have done. They cannot see my regrets._

_I will tell you my regrets...I will show you all of the terrible things I have done. My story is long, tedious and confusing. It is not my wish to bore you with my tale, nor is it my intention to confuse and baffle you._

_You must understand, life can be hectic, life can be full of surprises. Life often starts at one place of the highway but somewhere down the middle, you find your self at the center of oncoming traffic._

_ That is simply life, my friends. Mine is no different. _

_I will strive however, to tell you everything...as best as I can. I will strive to show you that a regret is something you shouldn't hold on to forever. Regrets have a way of building up, of tearing people apart. My crazy life bears testament to this._

_I will tell you about all the bad things I have done...these terrible regrets that I keep mentioning. I will also tell you of my biggest mistake...falling in love with Robin's greatest enemy. _

_We will begin my story about three years or so back on a warm and strangely depressing Valentines Day..._

**oOoOo**

February 14.

Valentines.

A day that was supposed to be filled with happiness and love. A day in which all the lovey-dovey couples found new ways to express their feelings. It was a day to be thankful for that love, and to look down on those who had none.

Such were the thoughts that floated through the sorceress' idle mind as she watched Beastboy from the shadows. Of course he would feel that way. With Starfire filling the tower with red hearts and glittering confetti, and having smooching sessions with the Boy Wonder on the couch, anyone would find reason to be envious. Starfire had a boyfriend, Starfire had love. Beastboy did not.

Neither did Raven, for that matter. Her situation was slightly complicated. Still, she couldn't help feeling that familiar pang of sorrow in her chest as she looked at Beastboy. Unlike herself, the shape-shifter had a reason to be sad.

It was Terra. Always Terra. She was the only one to affect Beastboy in such a manner. Raven often wondered if the earth-bender was worth it. Beastboy probably felt like she was...and maybe, just maybe Raven could solve his problem.

She decided this one morning after encountering the shape-shifter staring gloomily at the fog covered city. Raven could sense the yearning emotions that rolled off him in waves. She wondered whether to feel repulsed or awed. Maybe a combination of both?

"What if I told you that there is a way of bringing her back. What would you say?" The sorceress posed this question, feeling slightly curious and apprehensive. She didn't want to flat-out admit it. Saying and doing are completely different things after all.

Admitting that she had the power to capture lost souls would no doubt unleash his wrath and displeasure. She wanted to be sure that the stone statue could actually be restored to flesh and bone first. And to do _that_...well both Beastboy _and _Robin wouldn't be pleased with her methods either.

"I probably wouldn't believe you... Is there a way to bring her back?" Despair had tinged his voice and it was understandable. All the other attempts to bring her back to life were complete failures. So why should this one be any different?

Still, the glimmer of hope was there...Raven saw it, shining dully, but nonetheless, still there. It had sparked a strange sense of gladness in Raven's heart. Feeling confident, she continued to explain her rather flawed theory.

The explanation that Terra's soul was, not in hell, but rather lost, drifting, if you will. Terra had probably been unable to let go of all that transpired. The feelings of regret that had probably trapped her in limbo. Of course, the shape-shifter didn't really understand. It was probably too much to grasp at once.

The fact that the girl of his dreams was somehow still here...but not in flesh. The idea that Terra's soul was still in the land of the living, hanging on to past regrets and unresolved business. Or maybe the realization that Raven had been able to sense and know about these facts for a while now.

Raven could understand, even sympathize. That day, Raven had drawn the shape-shifter into an embrace, trying to comfort and calm him. She remembered the sound of the city below them, rushing cars, honking horns, squealing tires and the steady thumping of Beastboy's heart.

That day was still vivid in her mind. The way the clouds looked, almost like a downpour would occur at any minute, and the grey shitty ocean. The tilled brick of the Tower balcony, the scuff marks on her old, worn Converse. The bitter taste of Robin's jealousy.

Robin's jealousy... time and time again Raven had been confronted with this jealousy. On a team outing with Aqualad, a beach volleyball game with Speedy, the night she came home after clubbing with Alaric, the goth kid from a while back.

Why did he insist on this unfair torment? Shouldn't it be she, the mere 'fuck-buddy', that should be jealous? Why was he trying to make it seem like she was the evil one?

Yes, Raven remembered that day. The day she finally had enough of Robin's antics. The day the restlessness began.

The day her life slowly hastened to decay.

**oOoOo**

Secrets.

Everyone had them. Small and meaningless or huge and life-threatening. Meaningless, harmless truths like who took the cookie from the cookie jar, or destructive, harmful knowledge, like Batman's identity. Raven had a couple secrets of her own...most of which, were of the life-threatening variety.

The problem with secrets is that they tend to pile up, concealing one sin after another, like a stack of cards. It only takes a small gust of wind to topple them. And with exposed secrets, comes fear, anger, and regret. Regret for even hiding the secrets.

Regret for not being careful enough in hiding them. Regret for having your hidden mistakes exposed. Regret for hurting someone else. Had Raven known all this she wouldn't have tried hiding her alcohol problem.

She wouldn't have bothered to blackmail Cyborg like she did. Cause if she gets taken down...he would now go with her. Funny how no one thinks of the consequences until they are caught. Was that merely human nature? Or was she just thinking too much on the issue?

_Why did she have to go and get herself wasted? The cybernetic wasn't the only one asking this question. The sorceress moaned quietly, after hearing the dull thunk of her friend's metal feet on the floor. __ Raven sat up and promptly clutched frantically at her head. The floor was spinning, the room was going round and round. The queasy churn of Raven's stomach sent bile into her mouth. _

_Why did she go and get wasted? Was this all to drinking alcohol? Where was the 'thrill', the 'freedom' , the 'release'? __What had happened? The flashbacks came soon enough, along with a piercing headeache. The sorceress groaned again. Cyborg's angry face loomed before her suddenly. "Oh shit." Then his booming voice split her eardrums._

_"YOU SNEAK OUT THE TOWER, GET WASTED, AND ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY IS OH SHIT!"_

_Raven cringed, and clamped a sweaty palm over the man's mouth, stopping him from continuing his rant. "Keep it down tin head. I don't want Robin finding out." Robin finding out. What would that be like? Would he rant and rave like a mad man? Or would he silently and calmly ship her away to a rehab clinic? _

_Raven didn't want to know. She didn't need Robin breathing down her back...Cyborg would have to be silent. It was the only way. __"Don't tell him... or Bee will 'find out' about you and Jinx."_

_Cyborg sputtered. "Bu-Ho- How did you know?" _

_ "Cause me and Jinx are friends now. After that party...How bout we make a deal? You keep quiet and I will. Deal?" Raven wondered how menacing she sounded when drunk. Did she come of as scary, intimidating and frightful? Nah, it had to be closer to acting insane. _

_"Cyborg... I think I'm in love." Wait, what did she just say? Why was her mouth moving on her own? _

_"What?" _

_"I was at the bar and this guy sat next to me. I don't remember what we talked about or what he looked like but.. his eyes... so warm and bright."__Stop. Stop moving, mouth! You weren't given permission to speak!_

_"Almost... like... he was a vampire... I was going to leave... I think... and... I remember falling and..." Don't. Don't say it. No more talking, just shut up! "Oh my god he brought me back!" Damn it! Stupid alcohol! Stupid mouth! _

_"He-he was in the Tower?"_

_The last thing the sorceress remembered was Cyborg's surprised voice. _

**oOoOo**

Raven continued walking down the streets of the crowded city, ignoring the crowds of people jostling her around. Raven despised crowds. The selfish pushing people, the intimidating lack of breathing space, the jumbled emotions and auras...Raven _ really _hated crowds.

At birth, Raven had been isolated, shut away in a tower with her mother and the High Priestess. Those two faces; one young and anxious, the other aged and solemn were all she had ever known. It wasn't till her third birthday that Raven set foot in the 'outside' world. That day was one Raven would never forget.

The warm, humid summer had frizzed her short, bouncy hair, ruining the perfect set of pig-tails. The summer dress was a soft, royal blue color matching the string of beads currently resting against her slender neck and in her small scrunched mouth.

Raven had been barefoot that day, and the feel of the earth as it cooled her warm, tiny toes remained etched in her memory. As did the judging eyes, apprehensive emotions and the auras of contempt. It wasn't the first time feeling emotions that weren't her own...Raven had often felt her mother's sadness and disappointment, as well as the priestess' hopeful and caring feelings.

Too many people, too many emotions and thoughts ran through the poor three year old's mind. Thoughts that made no sense. What was 'the bridge'? What was a 'festival, a 'temple' and 'death'? Who was this 'daughter of Trigon' everyone were afraid of? Why did they want her 'dead'? What did it mean, to be 'dead'? It had been a living nightmare...one that still plagued Raven to this day.

A sigh escaped tired pursed lips and the Titan stared at the entrance to the Jump City Memorial Park. Why did Malchior want to meet here? Why couldn't they have met at a coffee shop or at the Steak & Shake? At least then she could have gotten some food. Raven sat down on one of the shaded park benches and turned on her Ipod. Sometimes, Raven didn't know if she could live without her Ipod.

All her favorite songs were there, from her strange obsession of Jesse McCartney to her fetish for rap and hip-hop. Raven would never admit to being a hopeless romantic...at least not in person. Her Ipod answered that question. 'Sappy' love songs permeated her playlists.

Yes, Raven, the Ice Queen, was a hopeless romantic. The kind that would secretly swoon at Enrique Iglesias' voice and melt at the lyrics of the Plain White T's songs. Jason Mraz, with his soulful voice and skill with the guitar had also captured a place in her hidden heart.

So engrossed was the Titan that she almost missed the sensation of that familiar aura washing over and pulling the sorceress from the sanctuary of her mind. Reveling in the warm, blanketing sensation, Raven turned off her Ipod slowly and glanced up, peering into icy blue eyes. "Malchior." Her voice came out in a whisper, almost as if she was afraid.

Strong arms wrapped around the Titan and the man buried his face in the crook of her neck, softly kissing and licking her bare flesh. "Raven." Malchior's deep husky voice sent shivers down her spine. Raven's mind spun, trying to deny the urges growing in her mind. She had to stay in control. Her pride was at stake here. How would she look, coming on to him like a tactless woman? She needed to curb her lust.

Raven pulled away from him, pointedly ignoring the surprised and perhaps hurt look in the man's icy eyes. She never knew that Malchior could look that way. Seriously, though, a hurt look just didn't seem right on him. "Malchior we cannot... I only asked you because you were the only one that could help me. Do not make this any harder on me."

Malchior sighed. "Very well then. Shall we be off?" He stood grasping the sorceress' hand and gently helping her up. "So my fair maiden, exactly where are we headed?"

"Just follow me." Raven began to walk along the pathway that lead to the outside of the park. The two walked in silence, neither wanting to dispell the comforting peace of the evening. So they walked on in silence, hand in hand; no doubt looking like a loving couple on a leisurely stroll. Raven wearing a pair of dark wash jeans, worn leather flats and a red loose silk top, Malchior in grey cargoes, combat boots and a fitted tee shirt.

They exited the park, making their way toward the edge of town. Jump City's outskirts was a place that Raven didn't need to go to often. Or want to visit. The dull and empty warehouses and factories that littered the area seemed so creepy, especially at night. They reminded her too much of Slade...and Robin's obsessions. A lot of them were also underground...and who would want to make a regular trip to a dank musty place like that?

"I need your help with something that requires magic. I don't know if I could do it alone and you were the only person I could think of." She hoped her voice didn't come off as begging. Raven never begged. Her pride wouldn't allow it. Nor would her selfish upbringing permit the teen to bend her knees. Raven always got what she wanted...wasn't that how she defeated her father?

"And what is this 'something'?" Malchior's smooth suave voice was tinged with suspicion...and who would blame him? After all it was Raven that used _HIS_ spell to lock him back up. And whose to say she didn't let him out again, this time for revenge?

Raven took his hand and they ducked into an alley. She then teleported underground, ignoring the musty smell and the dripping of the drainage systems. Really, why did she wear decide flats today? A pair of sneakers would have made more sense. And the smell? Raven could only pray the scent didn't enter her clothing. She had spent a pretty penny on these jeans.

But who cared about jeans when there was Beastboy's happiness at stake? At a time like this, Raven should be thinking about how to revive the stone statue, not about her clothes. The titan cleared her throat, glancing back at Malchior with uncertainty.

"I need you to help me bring Terra back to life."

* * *

**Malchior in combat boots..I should try and draw this one day. (Though he'd probably end up looking like Sho Fuwa from Skip Beat)**

**I was going to leave the flashback out but i had to introduce the random guy at the bar.**

**Anyway... Review please. *story has been edited again***

**~heartless16**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well here is chapter two! Thanks to all of you who reviewed. It really kept me going.**

**Chapter 2**

**Disclaimer : Look at chapter 1**

**Song is Photograph by Nickleback. **

* * *

_"I need you to help me bring Terra back to life."_

Malchior looked at her in confusion. "That I can do, fair maiden but may I ask why? You do not seem to care for her too much."

The proverbial nail on the head. Yes, Raven hated the woman, and who could blame her? After betraying them like that, only to 'turn good during the last five minutes of the battle.' Just like those stupid cartoons. There was a reason Raven didn't watch American cartoons. They reminded her too much of her own life.

"As much as I hate the stupid bitch for what she did, she apologized and even helped us. So I guess you could say that I owe her one." Lies. All lies. But what could Raven say? It would be selfish and wrong to ignore Beastboy's feelings. He deserved to be happy...even if no one else was.

At the chuckle that escaped Malchior, Raven glared. "It's really not that funny. Now are we taking her to your place or not."

"You are aware that this will take quite a while to complete successfully." He spoke slowly, as if Raven would not understand, something that was beginning to irk the sorceress. There were times when she just decided to brush it off... after all it wasn't like his English was up to date... maybe she was just used to the fast pace of California life.

"Your point?" Raven was getting annoyed. As much as she hated bringing Terra back to life she knew it had to be done. She couldn't stand seeing Beastboy so out of character. Especially since she could feel his pain...

"This could take all night. And don't you have somewhere to go." His eyes had an amused look in them but his face was blank.

"You read my mind? I told you not to do that." She couldn't stop the grin that spread on her face, however. "I'm sure Robin will not mind me taking the day off. Besides I am doing this for the team." Technically this was not true...and they both knew it.

But how was she going to explain to Robin that she somehow met with Malchior, who just 'happened' to escape the cursed book and together they performed some pretty sinister and forbidden magic to bring back someone who betrayed them all? It would be just like asking for a prison sentence!

But all sarcasm aside, Raven was still determined. Because Beastboy should not have to suffer... he deserved happiness.

Malchior laughed again. Raven loved his laugh. It was soft and alluring... _Ok why the fuck am I thinking that? _"You have to tell me were we are going. I'll teleport us there."

"As you wish." The man replied, a twinkle of amusement in his icy blue eyes.

Upon arriving, the first word echoing in Raven's mind was 'loaded'. Who had he bribed to give him an apartment with an awesome view of the ocean and Tower? It was really expensive to own a condo with a view of the ocean. A view of the Tower as well, only increased the already high leasing rates. "Nice place. You have a really cool view. They say that an apartment with a view of the Tower cost a fortune."

Malchior shrugged and sat down on the sofa "I have... connections." His voice sounded cocky and she smiled slightly and rolled her eyes. Connections...right. Maybe he had joined the mafia business? Raven could see Malchior as a mafia lord, a pretty ruthless one. He pulled Raven down beside him and turned to face her, his blue eyes a little sad. "You are avoiding me, Raven. I feel it. Why?"

Raven froze. Usually she had an answer for everything. This time... she was speechless. "I-I don't know. She dropped her head and began to examine her red painted nails. _Why does he have to ask so many questions? Why couldn't he just be happy with the freedom he had?_

"Raven you know that I would never hurt you." The man's voice was sorrowful, and it filled Raven's heart with guilt.

He begged for forgiveness, to the point that Raven simply couldn't ignore his pleas. And yet, still she avoided him as if... he would betray her again. It wasn't that she didn't believe him, his apologies had been most sincere. Yet somehow, Raven couldn't fight off the wariness, the suspicion and the fear. Her emotions wouldn't permit her to trust him anymore.

She turned away from his mesmerizing blue eyes. "You did once. how can I be sure you... won't do it again." Her voice dropped to a quiet whisper, and Raven hated herself for sounding so childishly afraid.

Malchior placed one hand on her cheek. "Raven, look at me. I know what I did was wrong and for that I apologize. Please... forgive me, Raven."

"I forgive you." Her voice was hesitant, reluctant and maybe even confused. As if she was fighting with herself. Three simple words, and yet it seemed as if she was resisting death.

So distraught was the sorceress that when Malchior drew her in for a kiss, Raven forgot to resist. On the contrary, Her body seemed to move on it's own. Hands pulled the man closer, tangling fingers in silvery hair. Lips and tongue battled fiercely with his, voice lost in passion, reduced to wanton whimpers and moans.

His hands. Oh Azar, his hands! Malchior's hands were everywhere. On her waist, slowly trailing up her arched back, gliding up the smooth planes of her stomach and torso, softly and gently kneading her breasts. His lips sucked and nipped at her neck, tracing the outline of her collarbone and clouding her mind. Was this what they call passion?

"Sweet Raven..." His low, soft murmur washed over the sorceress dragging her deeper into the lust induced haze. Swiftly, Raven was trapped between the arm of the couch and Malchior's bare muscled torso. The man's thumbs ran slowly up and down the back of Raven's neck, numbing the teen. How could he have known about her sensitive her neck?

Raven gasped in surprise, as she felt Malchior's tongue flick over her hardened nipples. "M-Malch-ahh!" He ran his tongue over her nipple again, eyes staring up at her with a look that only intensified the growing heat within her.

Malchior's mouth captured her nipple, sucking gently. Raven arched her back, a loud moan escaping her clenched teeth. Icy hands, worked on the other breast, pinching and massaging...Oh Azar, why did sin feel so good? Why was this wrong?

"Malchior. Please, Ple-ahh! No more. I-uhh! We can't." The teen panted out, immediately regretting her words as the man pulled away, a guilty look replacing his lust-filled eyes.

Guilt, Malchior didn't need to feel guilty. She could have stopped him earlier...but why was it so wrong? He wasn't dating someone like Robin was, he wasn't seeing her behind his girlfriend's back. Raven's eyes clouded with malice and disappointment. Shaking hands clenched the rumpled red blouse trying to block out the feeling of shame. Once again, her emotions took control. Once again.

Violet orbs stared at Malchior, eyeing him quietly as he slowly pulled on his t-shirt. So many scars decorated his body...so many scars. Where did they come from? And why weren't they removed when she conjured up his body from the book? Were they some kind of curse? Maybe an incantation to prevent people from stealing his magic?

Raven herself had one such scar... well more of a tattoo. Etched forever into her body by the burning fires of hell. Did Malchior's scars hurt as much as hers did? Or was he lucky to have a merciful master. The sorceress continued to watch silently, as the bare carpeted floor soon filled with strange objects and drawings.

"Raven, come."

That voice. Why did it melt her heart? Why did it cause butterflies to float up from her stomach? She felt like a stove struck high-school kid...oh wait, she was a high school kid. "Yes." A whisper, a timid and shameful whisper. This was worse than begging. _Why, Azar? Why must I go through heat now? Why couldn't this have happened earlier...maybe perhaps before that man was released? _

" Are you sure you want to do this? You seem distracted." The concern in Malchior's voice sent shivers up Raven's spine.

"I am fine." Raven spoke those words confidently...ignoring the emotions welling up within her.

"She is ready. All I need you to do is contact her soul."

Raven unconsciously shuddered. She hated that feeling when people from the past visited her in her sleep. Those tormenting screams that spill from their disfigured, bloody lips. The hanging, awkwardly placed limbs...the cold feeling as their dead fingers curl over your neck, slowly sqeezing...

No, must be no mistakes tonight. Not if she was to face Beastboy and Robin again. If this were to work, Raven would be let off the hook. And then she could live as she wanted...free and without constraints.

**oOoOo**

Spots danced before her, crazed and frenzy in their movement. They spun, those spots trembled and quivered as they circled around her, sending the woman further into the depths of her dark mind. In her ears, the distant sound of her heart echoed. She was still alive...right?

Violet eyes fluttered open, then squeezed shut as the light seared her iris. She was now spinning, going round and round... her head began to ache fiercely. Had something gone wrong?

She wasn't supposed to get any side-effects. Raven opened her eyes once more, slowly this time and slowly began to sit up. Hands flailed out beside her, looking for something to brace against. The feeling of soft demin greeted her. Head turned swiftly, purple eyes met ice blue orbs. "Malchior." Raven whispered, then slumped to the floor, head pounding once more. "What...happened?"

"You started having seizures." Are you sure you are alright?" Malchior's concerned eyes bore deep into her violet orbs. It was frightening. This unconditional worry and concern.

Raven started to wonder whether he was acting this way unconsciously...or if he had an ulterior motive. Whatever the man's plans were, Raven doubted they would even be harmful. She may have freed the dragon of her own free will, but that didn't mean he would have all the powers he previously possessed. There were spells for such people, those driven by inhumane instinct. Raven was an expert on such things...she was a recipient of such a spell herself.

Silence reigned in the brightly lit room as Malchior hoisted the weak titan into his arms. The man quietly carried the woman to the sofa and placed her down, cautioning against movement. Quietly, the man brushed Raven's tousled bangs from her eyes in an effort to cool the flushed pale skin.

"Malchior?" Raven's voice sounded unbearably timid, and weak. It irked the teenager to feel like this. To lie here and be tired and helpless. To be the damsel in distress. Raven hated such scenarios...especially when she herself was caught up in them. But what else could she do? Raven couldn't deny the tired ache of her muscles and the unbearable sparks of pain in her head.

"Yes, love?" That soft, gentle low voice. Why was Malchior so...so perfect? Why was he everything that she wished for?

Well, everything but one. Raven couldn't understand him. Try as she might, Raven could never understand this alluring man before her. His strange and perhaps odd infatuation of her. The way his eyes lit up at the mention of spell books and unsolved mysteries.

The quiet adoration in his icy blue eyes when he listened to Mozart and Bach. The infuriatingly cute way Malchior wrinkled his nose after encountering something 'detestable'. It was such a strange, cat-like expression, Raven thought. And his accent, the slightly Scottish and slightly Spanish pronunciation that warmed Raven's insides every time he spoke.

The sharp, cultured point of his nose and the sophisticated pucker of his delicately set lips. Malchior's lips were a mystery. Almost perfect and yet...not. Almost Tom Welling and yet...not. Yes, Malchior was one big mystery...and it saddened the sorceress.

"You, you understand me, right? It's one thing that I have always wanted from someone." Violet eyes stared at the light grey carpeting. "Why can't I understand you, then?" Frustration edged into the teenager's voice.

Raven never had trouble understanding other people before. Beastboy and Starfire were like open books. Speedy, Cyborg and Bee were different, more reserved and challenging at times. They could be likened to a Sudoku puzzle.

But Aqualad and Robin... those two were difficult. Evasive, calculating and oh, so conniving. Everything Raven was good at. But Malchior...he was none of those things. Neither evasive, calculating or easy-to-read. Malchior was blank. Who was he waiting for to fill the pages of his life? Certainly not her...He knew the rules.

"There is no easy answer. Perhaps our fates are not as connected as we thought. Perhaps the gods are against our being together. As they should." Calm, collected and suave. A reasonable answer.

Raven wasn't satisfied. "No, don't blame it on fate. Robin doesn't understand me, and yet..." Eyes closed in shame and self-loathing. And yet they still carried on with their stupid games. And yet they continued to betray Starfire.

"Yet what, Raven?" The curiosity brimming in his eyes and voice angered the sorceress. It was obviously forced and meaningless. He knew the truth...he had always known the truth.

Eyes flickered open, silently cursing the bright lights. No doubt the blush on her cheeks were visible. "Yet nothing. Don't act as if you don't know." It would only create more pain in Raven's heart. What did she look like in his eyes? Was she still his 'sweet Raven'?

Of course not...he wouldn't think of her that way anymore. No, Raven was no doubt a whore in Malchior's mind. It was a consequence she justly deserved. No man would think highly about anyone who slept with their best-friend's boyfriend. No man would want such a person.

"Raven. Wouldn't I be just as guilty? Wouldn't I be just as horrible... horrible for trying to take advantage of a minor?"

Raven's heart felt heavy. He was right. Perhaps the gods were against them after all. It seemed that in every possible way, Raven and Malchior were not destined for each other. He was a powerful sorcerer, a magician and dragon. A union between someone like him and a half-demon would be met with swift repercussions. And what about Raven's condition?

How could she stay friends with him...without wanting more? And Robin...Robin the Righteous, would certainly be opposed to any kind of involvement with Malchior. He'd probably imprison them both. "There's no hope? We have to give up, just like that? I don't want that! I don't want to lose you too! Malchior, I-I.."

The former dragon pulled the distraught teen into his arms. Arms wrapped tightly around her waist, face buried in the crook of her neck. The sound of the ticking clock faded into the distance. All he heard was the steady beating of Raven's heart. One he could never hope to have. "I love you too, Sweet Raven."

* * *

The Tower was strangely silent when Raven returned the next day, violet eyes brooding and a bag of assorted donuts in her tight grasp. Raven needed to keep a tight grip, otherwise she probably would have eaten the whole box. But seriously, where was everyone today? Had there been an outing that Raven wasn't aware of?

Raven wasn't expecting to see Starfire dash into the room, on roller-skates. What was going on? And wait, weren't those roller blades...the purple and black design, the worn out wheels and the scuff marks...those roller blades! Why was Starfire wearing her roller skates?

Beastboy dashed into the room, thankfully wearing socks. The shapeshifter wasn't the best coordinated person...to put him on roller skates would be disastrous. Raven eyed them with a mixture of amusement and regret.

"DONUTS!" The shapeshifter cried out in glee. Eagerly the titan snatched the bag from Raven's hands and retreated into the kitchen, Starfire wheeling over as well. They were so happy, so carefree. A bubble of laughter escaped Raven's lips. What she would give to smile like that...

Purple eyes turned, landing on the Boy Wonder who now stood beside the window, arms crossed lips turned down in an attractive frown. Raven could hear the impatient tapping of his shoes against the floor. He was pissed. And with reason. She hadn't received permission to stay out last night. Raven wasn't sure she could deal with him right now.

She was tired, annoyed and depressed.

Anyone would feel this way after being forced to give up someone they love. It hurt...really hurt. But what could Raven have expected? Fate had never smiled upon her. Raven had been born in evil, lived in isolation and fear. She had been forced to watch her only friend die...forced to watch as he took his final breath.

Raven was forced to feel his body grow cold with death, forced to acknowledge that she couldn't do anything to save him. And now this. Malchior, the only one in this whole world to understand how she felt. The only one to love her without fault.

Now fate would take him too. Why? What crime had she committed to suffer through all this? What atrocities was she guilty of that would make her lie through such pain?

Why were the gods against her finding happiness? Would they not permit her to be at peace? Would they not allow her to live out her days happy, carefree and peaceful? Why must she suffer like this?

Fine. Let them continue to look down on her. Let the gods do what they will.

Raven didn't care.

Her solution was simple. No more love. Not now, not ever. Wasn't it love that caused her best friend to die? He loved her...and she loved him too. But he died. Malchior loved her...and she loved him too. And the gods want to take him away. Let them continue this mistreatment. Her solution was simple. Raven won't fall in love. Not now, not ever.

How hard would that be? It was simply a matter of killing that emotion within her. A simple solution. Very easy.

**oOoOo**

"Robin, do you not want some donuts? I saved you some." Starfire's innocent inquiring voice drew Robin's gaze from the ocean to the alien's green eyes. A soft smile was on her face, and Robin bit mack a chuckle at the jerky, unstable movements the teen made as she tried to balance on Raven's roller skates.

"Thanks, Starfire." He grinned and turned back to the window, not wanting his girlfriend to see his frustrated frown.

"Sure."

The Boy Wonder watched as the alien turned and gracefully rode away, leaving him to his feelings of guilt and shame. Starfire didn't deserve someone like him. Someone who ignored and cast her aside. Someone who couldn't leave his work alone to spend time with her. Someone who was sleeping with her best friend in secret.

Why did he do it? Green Gloved hands clenched tightly, and Robin sucked in an angry breath. From the glass window, the once calm ocean now raged quietly, a strange murky and cloudy blue. Was it supposed to rain today? Why else would the ocean seem so despondent, so responsive to his feelings? Ice blue eyes closed tightly.

The memories were still there. The strange bout of insomnia, the endless pacing up and down the halls. In the darkened hallway, Robin remembered seeing the small sliver of light streaming from the sorceress' room. A sigh of relief had washed over him at that realization, she was awake! Raven was awake...and there was someone who could listen, who could understand. Robin felt so happy, felt so relieved in that instant!

Bruce always warned him to knock before entering... it was polite. His mother always told him to knock first before opening any closed door. So why did he break that rule? Couldn't he have spared a few seconds to knock? Maybe then, Raven would have had some warning. Maybe then Raven could have thrown on the black fluffy bath-robe she never used.

That night, the smell of lavender and incense filled his nostrils. The dim, florescent light dilated his pupils. The sight of Raven's lean torso and turgid breasts dried his mouth. The scene of Raven's hands slowly rubbing lotion on her thighs roused his nether region.

He recalled standing there simply fixated between the doorway, watching Raven like a depraved voyeur. Maybe he was a depraved voyeur. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Raven turned her head, seductive violet eyes doing nothing to hide the growing tent in his trousers.

The Raven he knew would never look like that. Robin should have remembered this fact. He should have known that something was wrong. That maybe her emotions were not under control. But his feet betrayed him. Instead of backing out, they slowly entered in.

And his eyes revolted. Instead of turning away...of looking elsewhere, they only continued to drink in Raven's unclothed body. And his hands? Oh god, his hands wanted nothing more than to touch, to feel her creamy grey skin, to touch her ruby red lips, to tangle themselves within her thick tresses.

Robin lost his resolve that night. Perhaps he also lost a friend as well.

It should have ended that night. Nothing more should have occurred. But Robin had already taken that first step. He had opened the door, tasted the forbidden fruit. He let it consume him.

To this day he cannot break free. And now every glance into Starfire's innocent green eyes only fills him with sorrow more bitter than gall.

* * *

_Look at this photograph  
Every-time I do it makes me laugh_

_How did our eyes get so red_  
_And what the hell was on Joey's head_

Why did all the music on his ipod sound so...sorrowful? Why did this song make him thing about home? His small two-story home in the suburbs of Quebec? The prickly pine shrubs by the front door and the carved wooden chimes that blew when the front door opened. His mother carved those chimes... where were those pictures?

Hands sifted through several boxes, pushing aside bubble wrap school notebooks and binders. Ah, there it was. The leather bound photo album, one of the only things that remained of his strange and eccentric mother. The young man opened the book slowly, eyes twinkling with excitement. His brother always was the clown. What were they doing here? Why was this picture taken?

_This is where I grew up  
__I think the present owner fixed it up_

_I never knew we ever went without  
The second floor is hard for sneakin' out._

The pages rustled softly in the tranquility of his living room. His ipod continued playing softly, belting out the slightly sad tunes. What was it with sad stuff today? Eyes landed once more on a picture of the small house, old white Toyota Camry and two despondent children, all dressed up for school. Those uniforms, how could he forget those uniforms?

_And this is where I went to school  
__Most of the time I had better things to do_

_Criminal record says I broke it twice  
I must have done it half a dozen times_

The blue shirt, black trousers and stiff uncomfortable blazer? The catholic school his father insisted he attend, claiming that 'his sons were too good for public school'. The despondent look in his mother's eyes as she ironed out his clothes for the week, mumbling in a language that he knew but was forbidden to speak.

Yes, his mother spoke Algonquin, fluently. It was her mother tongue, after all. Before he started going to school, it had been all he'd ever known as well. Those first few years of primary school were spent 'undoing the damage his mother had caused'.

Of course his father had not been pleased. To this day he still was not pleased. Only the gods could understand his father's complicating thoughts. Perhaps they could explain to him why _he_ was the one to be sent to foster care, instead of his happy-go- lucky brother.

_I wonder if it's too late  
__Should I go back and try to graduate_

_Lot's better now that it was back then  
If I was them I wouldn't let me in..._

A sigh escaped the man's lips, and he began to flip the pages more rapidly, trying to keep from becoming lost once more in his slightly fucked up past. What else could you call it? How else could you explain a father that willfully abandons his son, simply because his looks were 'capable of causing psychological trauma'?

"Cousine, ce que tu fais?" The soft voice suddenly echoed in his ears, and the man whirled around, golden eyes meeting a pair of quizzical blue orbs. Why did everyone on his father's side look that way?

Even his own brother had blonde hair and bright baby blue eyes...no one ever believed they were brothers. And no one would believe that this blonde-haired, blue eyed teenager staring at him was his cousin. "Just trying to find a picture." The man replied in English, not bothering to translate. She could understand... Jessica was smart like that.

_Every memory of lookin' out the back door,  
__I have the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor,_

_It's hard to say it,  
Time to say it,  
Good bye, good bye._

"Of your mother?" I framed those the other day. Beside the shoe rack." The teenager replied, the curiosity still evident in her light airy voice.

"No. Something else." A picture of someone, a thief. With his black costume and glowing red X. He happened to take that photo one night. It was purely accidental. But as they say, accidents are the beginning of greatness.

_Every memory of walkin' out the back door,  
I found the photo of the person I was looking for,_

He knew who owned that suit. He'd spent three years in Gotham city with his foster parents. One doesn't easily forget three years...nor can one forget the masked heroes who protected the city streets. So at first glance, the truth was revealed. And soon that suit would be his. Then everything would be solved.

He could pay off his debts, and the blackmails would stop. He would live a normal like he always wanted. But first, he needed to let go of the past. He needed to put everything and everyone behind him. His father, his brother. His foster parents. Everyone.

_It's hard to say it,_  
_Time to say it_  
_Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye..._

* * *

**Tom Welling. The man is, in my opinion, really handsome. I personally don't know what to think about comparing Malchior with him, I simply needed a way to describe Malchior's lips. Tom Welling's lips would be considered very kissable. (I think)**

**Anyway, this chapter was revised. (again and hopefully for the last.)**

**Special thanks to buddybuddy96 for all the help and suggestions! I really appreciated it. :)**

**~heartless16**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I finally updated. I would have done it sooner but I went to camp for a week and there was no way to get out of it.**

**Anyway hope you enjoy and please take that poll!**

**If anything is confusing please let me know. I cannot improve on my writing unless I get feedback on my mistakes.**

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Look at chapter 1**

* * *

Alarms blared, interrupting the four heroes sleep rudely. One by one, each titan drudged towards the main room with murderous thoughts at whichever villain had the audacity to steal at night. It was an unspoken truth...the titans were excessively violent when called on duty in the night. Most villains knew not to steal past midnight.

Now it was one o'clock...and Cinderblock, Plasmus, and Overload somehow escaped prison again and were currently were terrorizing different parts of the city. As Robin sleepily gave out commands, he noticed someone was missing. "Where's Raven?"

"Raven told me she was not feeling well and needed to meditate. She fell asleep when she finished. I could not bear to awaken her, she looked so tired out." Starfire nervously spoke up, hands squirming in discomfort. The Tameranian hated this feeling, like she was covering up some secret. It made her feel like a despicable liar, an untrustworthy friend.

Starfire was caught, torn between her friendship with Raven and her duties as a titan. Raven was sick, and protocol demands that Robin be informed. It was a simple and clear-cut rule. Now Raven wanted Starfire to cover and hide this sickness. Was it an embarrassing ailment? Surely nothing could be more embarrassing than the transformation Starfire had undergone a few years ago?

So what was it? What secret was Raven hiding this time? Yes, 'this time' because the last secret Raven had nearly destroyed the world. Nothing could get any worse than that. So whatever this was, should be trivial. Then again, Raven was a harbinger of doom. Perhaps innocent secrets were impossible for someone like Raven.

_Dilated pupils, constant shifting, nervousness. All of these described Raven now, as Starfire tried to add another coating of nail polish to Raven's toenails. What was wrong? She looked like a thief that had been apprehended._

_"Raven, is everything ok? You seem fidgety." The alien paused in her meticulous painting, and her green eyes stared earnestly up at the violet eyes titan. Starfire noticed the pursed lips, the tense frown and the pained eyes. Was Raven hurt?_

_"My mind, why does he keep trying to enter my mind?" Purple eyes darted frantically, before fixating on Starfire's face with a cold menacing glare. Raven's voice whispered coldly. "I can't stand the smell of nail polish. It's making my head hurt."_

_Starfire gulped fearfully and nodded, twisting closed the bottle of polish. "Is that better, Raven? Shall I get you some water, to maybe take some headache medicine?" A tentative smile spread of Starfire's face, hoping to calm down the odd-acting half demon. _

_Raven laughed, the sound chilling Starfire to the bone. Why did her friend sound so...deranged? Why was Raven sounding like those mental patients in Bell Reeve? What was wrong with Raven?_

_"Pain meds? You think pain meds will make thiss man leave me allone?" The sorceress speech was beginning to sound slurred and choppy. "No, look in my drawer. Yess, that one. Give mee the green bottle."  
_  
_Starfire did not miss the trembling fingers, fast and labored breath and chilled pale lips. The alien bit her lip nervously as she held out the bottle. What kind of medicine was in that bottle? There was no label, no marking. Just a simple green bottle. The simplicity scared Starfire. __Cold, frosty fingers chilled the alien's hot sweaty palms as they reached out; the trembling was very visible now. _

_The erratic rattling of the pills in the bottle frightened the red-haired teenager. Was this right? What if Raven was...addicted to whatever those pills were? What if she was...a drug addict? Starfire blinked rapidly, trying to quell the ugly thoughts from her mind. Raven wouldn't do something like that. _

_Raven knew better, right?_

_"Raven, R-raven. Perhaps meditation would be better than those...pills?" A forced grin spread on the alien's frightened face._

_Raven was asleep. _

It would be best to keep Robin from finding out. Just for a little bit, Starfire wanted to figure out more...before she accused her friend of something ridiculous. Green eyes stared at the flashing red lights, then at the darkened night sky. Midnight.

"Robin, perhaps we should leave now, I left a note for Raven, in case were not back by the time she awakens. It is midnight, and if we delay, we might not get back till morning." Starfire looked to the others, and pursed her lips at the emphatic nods.

"Very well then." Robin replied tiredly. The Boy Wonder yawned, then sluggishly set out towards the garage. Titans, you know what to do."

* * *

He'd been holding his breath for a while. Just one more laser to disarm. One more lock to pick. There! Now quickly, carefully take out the suit. Don't forget the belt.

Now, put back everything to it's original place. The pick goes here, the laser here set at frequency of 670 nano-meters. That one at 405 nano-meters. It pays to have a photographic memory. Now set this lock back to 28, the other one to 36, and the last at 1.

Replace the glass, put the coffee cup back against the pillar, the newspaper draped just so on the case, and the candy wrapper inside the coffee cup. The task was accomplished. A feeling of triumph swept over him. At last the device was in his hands again. Glancing at the clock in the evidence room the masked man smirked. There was a whole fifteen minutes left to waste.

Perhaps an exploration was in order. Feeling like a child in the candy store, Red X slipped out of the Investigation room, and turned right at the corner his sensitive nose picking up the smell of leather and hair gel. No doubt the room of the traffic light costumed Titan. Robin, was it? How'd he come up with that name? Robins weren't even green.

Red X turned the corner, and slipped into the next room. A few seconds later he darted out, clawing his eyes in pain. Pink! Fucking pink EVERYWHERE! Wait, wait, wait. It was midnight...how the hell could he even tell it was pink? A sigh escaped the man's lips. Would anyone believe him if he said his eyesight was perfect in the dark? Or that he could smell the color.

God, he needed a life.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, the thief slipped into the elevator, traveling to the next floor. Seconds later, he was seen darting back in breathing heavily. His poor oversensitive nose. He'd probably be smelling musty sock and wet dog for a month. No wonder no one else used that floor. What being inhabited that floor?

Once more, the elusive thief traveled upwards, noticing with a sigh of relief, the calming scent of lavender and peaches. It was a weird combo... flowers and fruit, but why would he complain? Anything was better than musty sock and wet dog, right? So what else could he do but follow the smell, maybe it would lead to a greenhouse or somewhere with food.

The first thing the man had come across was a bare room, with a grand piano occupying the dusty corner. On the other side, a cluttered desk and shelf. so this floor was storage then? What was stored in here? Maybe the greenhouse, or a kitchen. The smell of lavender was strongest here. His gloved hand touched the key pad, ignoring the chill racing up his spine. He did not realize that walking into this room would change his future completely.

Goosebumps raced up his flesh, and his heartbeat quickened. He hadn't felt like this in a while. A strange, eerie, sense of foreboding filled his thoughts as Red X stepped up to this last door. Somehow it was different...whatever was behind this door, was sinister...and undoubtedly the coolest thing he would encounter.

He stepped into the room and darkness closed in on him like a thick blanket, blinding him from seeing even the front of his hand. Hmm, so was this a black-hole? Perhaps the time continuum? Where was the greenhouse? Where was the kitchen? And why couldn't he see anymore?

Whatever happened to the 'cat-like' eyes he had been cursed with at birth? Cursing under his breath, he silently walked across the floor, only to bump into something. It seemed to be a dresser, probably black and judging from the type of wood and ornate carving, Gothic looking. He swept his limited gaze over the polished top and pursed his lips with curiosity as a red object glittered back at him.

So was this the Titan treasury? Those were real, fucking real rubies. And in perfect condition and cut! Oh the money he could gain! Oh the prospect! Who cared if they were glued to the mirror. He'd take the whole piece. Maybe charge extra for the 'silver' antique. This mirror must have cost a fortune! Why did a bunch of children have such a thing?

What else was hidden in this treasury. He reached out his hand to grasp the handle when something moved on the other side of the room. He froze, listening intently, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. This place was booby trapped?

Figures. Hearing nothing, he gingerly picked up the mirror, and turned to leave. This room was really starting to get creepy. Suddenly he heard a sound again. He turned and saw a pair of vivid violet eyes staring out, directly at him!

Vivid, violet eyes...but what human had violet eyes? And what was it with the poetic thoughts? Red X blinked once, twice, and once more, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. The thief kept still, praying that whoever it was would not notice him cowering in the shadows. It would not do to get caught.

There he was, crouched in the corner, eyes glued to the strange figure across the room, holding his breath like he'd seen a ghost. Who knew something so trivial could make him feel like a child?

Finally the purple eyes turned away and Red X let out a sigh of relief. He backed away slowly, edging towards the door only to freeze in his tracks as light flooded the darkened room. The thief darted further into the shadows. Damn this person! Why won't they go back to bed!

In the light of the half moon, the layout of the room was finally visible. There was the Gothic looking dresser, several book shelves, some paintings on the walls, and a bed, covered with black and purple sheets. This room must be a girl's room...Lavender, midnight blue and black; the color choice for just about everything in here.

So whoever that person was, they had to be a girl, right? And what girl did he know that had purple eyes? Surely he wouldn't forget such an oddity? Then why did those eyes seem so familiar? Why did he feel like he should know her? As if he'd seen the girl somewhere, maybe in a dream or distant memory. Where?

Where?

Ah, screw it!

Red X shifted quietly in the dark, eyes trained on the window. He was calculating the movement of the clouds. It was the only reason he decided to steal the suit tonight. Cloudy weather makes for great cover, not to mention knowing the whereabouts of those freakish experiments named Plasmus Cinderblock and Overload, and acquiring the keys to their containment cell. In just thirty seconds, the clouds will blanket the moon, shutting out the eerie forboding light and giving the perfect opportunity.

All he need to was wait. Just a little bit longer. Soon, he'll be free.

Five

Four

Three

Two

What the fuck!

What was she doing? Why was the girl crying? What was with the rattling bottle of pills? Don't...don't tell me these titans are druggies? Whatever happened to being the icon of good? What happened with 'setting a good example'?

The masked thief bit his lip, wanting to escape but finding himself captive by the scene before him. It was too intriguing, too horrible. Too fascinating. Was this what the titans were like? Hypocrites with powers? What else was this 'force of justice and good' hiding?

Damn it. The light was back. He'd missed his chance on freedom. But what he witnessed, would probably haunt him for the rest of his life.

Red X watched in somber silence as the girl slowly stumbled to the window, her breathing slightly rushed and breathy. A mournful look was beautifully etched onto her pale, heart shaped face. Who knew such beauty could come from sorrow? Why was his heart pounding like this?

What was with the warm flush, the heat emanating from his face? Red X sucked in a shaky breath, trying to calm his fluttering heart. The silver and ruby decorated mirror slipped from his fingers, landing with a quiet dull thud.

The girl turned slowly, almost as if she had been expecting the sound. Her pale, shaky hands wiped away the glistening wetness of her face, a strange smile on her lips. A soft chuckle escaped the teen's lips, breathy and tinged with fright. "Now I'm hearing things? I must be going mad."

Red X quirked an eyebrow, what did that mean? Now he was curious. What was this 'now'? Eyes glittered with interest, as the girl softly padded back to the disheveled bed and flopped upon it with a heavy sigh. A heavy silence filled the room. In the distance, a clock continued ticking with abandon, its message ringing in Red X's atentive ears.

He'd been here long enough.

It was time to leave.

* * *

The tiring fight between Plasmus was abruptly called to an end when he turned and slithered into a nearby pothole. Cyborg quickly ran to the pothole and scanned the area for him. He stared into the dark musty smelling drain for what seemed like an eternity, unable to see a trace of purple goo. His sensors couldn't pick anything up either.

The cybernetic cursed. Damn freak of nature! Why did he have to work for Slade? And what the hell was that man planning? Slade had gone off the radar for several months, and all of the 'leads' that Robin claimed he discovered were just wild goose chases.

Cyborg was beginning to think that he had left Jump City entirely. This was unlikely...and now that Plasmus and his buddies sudddenly decide they need to have some fun? Yea, definitely unlikely. Seems Robin has his work cut out for him. Turning from the drain, Cyborg glanced around the area searching for his annoying green friend. "Yo! Grass Stain, get your butt over here."

'Grass Stain' complied, sluggishly slithering out of the pot-hole, leaving a disgusting dark trail behind him. The cybernetic stared, a look of abject disgust etched onto his face. A slug? Really? Hadn't he seen enough slime and goo tonight? "Did ya have to be a slug, BB? That's gross!"

Transforming, the shape-shifter frowned. "Dude, don't you know? Slugs can taste acid in stuff...and I'm sure Plasmus is full of it!"

Cyborg rolled his eyes, not bothering to comment. "Find anything then?"

"No, he dissapeared. Say, I've been thinking-"

"Oh so you think now?"

"He-he, not funny. Anyway, I've been thinking, what if Slade brought all these goons out so he could pull of another of his schemes. Maybe he's trying to kidnap Raven!"

Cyborg nodded. "I thought about it. And it is possible...so let's high-tail it back to the Tower. Radio the others and tell them where we are."

**oOoOo**

Raven opened her eyes and winced at the searing headache. Someone touched her mirror... Quickly jumping out of bed she flew to her dresser, hoping to find the mirror. "Where is that damn thing?" Violet eyes roamed her room rapidly. Wasn't it on the dresser?

No?

Then maybe the bookshelf? Not there either!

Oh, oh, the clothes hamper! What?

Okay, maybe the bathroom. Raven made a mad dash across the room, tripping over shoes and books. The sorceress barreled into the door, pushed open and flipped the switch. She then proceeded to ransack the drawers, sending brushes, combs and hair utensils flying.

Not here either?

Raven fled from the bathroom and flopped on her bed, lifting the pillows and throwing her bed sheets into the corner. It wasn't in the bed! Pale, trembling hands tangled themselves in mused, tousled dark tresses. Oh where, oh where, could that mirror have gone?

There!

In that corner, right beside the dresser! A sigh of relief washed through her. "How the hell did it end up on the floor?" Her face was etched with confusion as the tired girl stooped to retrieve the offending object from the floor, ignoring the stiffness in her back.

"I need to follow up on my yoga exercises more often-" Suddenly, colors flashed before her eyes, Green... Yellow... Light blue... Dark green... Black... then searing spotless white.

Raven staggered back, covering her eyes. Her head reeled, like that one time she downed two bottles of vodka. After a few minutes her eyes fluttered open.

White.

Everything was white, spotless, nothingness.

What had happened? Where was this? Certainly not Nevermore. So, a vision then? No, if this was a vision, she'd be able to see. Then this was blindness. Pure and simple. Raven had gone blind.

Any normal person would have freaked out. Perhaps screamed, fallen to the floor and uttered curses to the gods for such a cruel fate. Raven, however, simply stood there. Her face was uncharacteristically blank, body stiff and formal.

Blindness was not what Raven feared. So when the walls began to bleed, the sorceress widened her eyes. No, this was not blindness. This was a vision.

The girl began to tremble, her hands shook violently, knees knocked together, loosing the will to stand. Before her frightened eyes, red and black began to paint the once spotless walls. A shiver ran through her body. What kind of a vision is this? The black covered the walls, soaking up the once pure glow of the white, and the bloody tinge of red.

Soon, the only thing that remained was a dripping red X.

X.

Why an 'x'? Unless...no, no... it couldn't be! He was back? Why did he come back? And he'd been in her room! Raven screamed and fell to the floor.

"Rae! Is everything alright? I heard you scream." It was Cyborg... why did he sound so panicked? Did the alarms go off? What if he heard the scream? No, calm down. Don't get too riled up. Remain calm... blank, uncaring. Regaining some composure, Raven opened the door, any trace of fright gone from her face and eyes.

"Cy, I need you to radio Robin and tell him to get here as soon as he can. I have to check something." Her voice was commanding and firm, a desperate attempt to hide the nervousness in her eyes. Cyborg wouldn't be fooled. He probably saw right through everything.

"What happened, and where are you headed?"

"The evidence room... I think Red-X stole the belt back." Raven dissipated into the air, a pool of fading black, the only indication she was ever in the room.

**oOoOo**

Tension hovered in the air, and Beastboy bit his lip to keep from speaking. Robin had been pacing the room, his mask hiding the anger everyone knew was there. His face, however, was blank.

Beastboy watched his leader's feet, imagining the carpet wearing thin at the endless pacing. His keen ears picked up the sound of Starfire gulping softly. Only Raven looked calm, her slender hands carefully clasped in her lap, as she watched the Boy Wonder's face for any sign of emotion. Somewhere in the tower, a clock chimed.

The sound of buzzing filled the air.

Beastboy looked around; eyes landing at Raven, who pulled her phone from her pocket and began to respond to a message. Her thumbs flew over the tiny keys, violet eyes gazing intently at the screen. The shapeshifter glanced up at Robin, and finally saw his jaw tense. He was pissed, and probably at the sorceress for breaking his concentration.

The shape shifter continued watching as Starfire leaned over Raven's shoulder, no doubt trying to read the message. Had he been able to send out a clone, Beastboy would have probably done the same thing. This was Raven, cold, unfeeling Raven. And now she was texting? Of course he'd want to know who it was!

"Raven, I had no idea you still talked to Mal-" The alien's quiet voice entered into the green titan's ears. Who was Mal? And why did Raven cut her off? Beastboy watched curiously as Raven clasped a hand on the alien's mouth. He watched her press the send button and hide the device in the pocket of her baggy sweatpants.

Raven then whispered in Starfire's ear, her words muffled and unrecognizable. Of course. Keep the secret to yourselves. Eyebrows darkened as he continued to observe the exchange between the two female titans.

He saw Starfire's quizzical look, and Raven's annoyance. From the look in Raven's eyes, Starfire wasn't supposed to know either. Beastboy smirked inwardly as he watched them whisper among themselves some more. When it seemed like the conversation was finally over, Beastboy opened his mouth, questioning his friend curiously. "What was that all about Raven?"

Violet eyes narrowed slightly. She looked pretty scary with tousled streaked hair and narrowed, mascara smudged eyes."Don't worry about it. Robin you may continue with your pacing. I believe you stopped at one hundred and twenty nine."

The leader growled. "This isn't time for jokes, Raven."

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Raven intoned, gesturing at her blank face. It was always the blank face for Raven. That blank face unnerved the shape-shifter. A funny reply to a joke- face straight as the prime meridian. When she fought with Robin-face straight as the equator.

And Robin _always_ fell for the straight face. He always seemed angered by it. Why hadn't the leader learned that Raven was always like that? Or did something happen between the two?

"I don't have time for your smart remarks Raven. Now tell me exactly what happened." Robin's tone was gruff and demanding, it probably grated on he sorceress' nerves. Beastboy knew how much Raven hated to be snapped at. Interestingly enough, Raven couldn't help but snap when _she_ talked. She could be quite the hypocrite.

Raven sighed with annoyance. "For the millionth time, I was asleep. I woke up and realized that someone entered the Tower."

"But how did you know for sure it was X?"

"He touched my mirror."

A gasp echoed in the room, and Beastboy put his hand over his mouth. Presently he spoke. "He entered your mind?"

Raven shook her head. "No he just touched my mirror, and moved it off the dresser."

"Red- X was in your room... and you didn't think to tell anyone? What if something happened to you?" Robin's concern seemed to confuse the sorceress.

Beastboy couldn't understand why. Wasn't it Robin's duty to be concerned about them? Or did something happen between the two that no one knew about...yea, something happened. Why else would Raven appear so troubled, so angry and irritated?

"Well nothing happened now did it."

"Rae, what are you hiding from us?"

Ah, the inevitable staring contest! Who'll win this time? Will it be Robin, with his non-existent eyes? or Raven, the contestant with resolve of steel? Such intensity! Such tension! Beastboy moved eyes rapidly between the two, only to whimper with sorrow as Raven tore her eyes away from Robin's mask and to the couch. Why'd she lose? Raven never lost the staring contest!

"Don't call me Rae."

What a deadly tone! Beastboy blinked. And blinked again. Why was she so...angry? Cyborg called her 'Rae'...even he did. What made it so wrong for Robin?

"Maybe we should leave you two alone. C'mon guys we'll just head to bed while it's still night." Cyborg's voice cut across the tense silence, and Starfire jumped up eagerly. Beastboy didn't blame her...she was probably just as confused as he was.

Besides, it was already two o'clock. So he nodded solemnly and followed the two halfway into the hallway. The teen then stopped, pretending to fumble with the strings of his shoes. Green eyes glanced up apprehensively. Good, Cy and Star turned the corner.

The green titan promptly morphed into a fly and buzzed quietly out the hallway, landing on the bookshelf beside the television. The room was quiet and still brimming with tension. Beastboy watched as Raven fidgeted with the chipped black polish on her nails. fidgeting was something that Raven didn't do. Perhaps she was sick.

The sorceress didn't wake up to the extremely deafening alarm, she lost the staring contest...and now this? What disease or flu had she caught?

"Raven, I need you to answer me. How did you know it was Red-X?" Robin's voice was cold and demanding. It was obvious that he was losing patience. And it was to be expected.

Beastboy knew how Raven could be. You simply couldn't deal with her without having a room full of patience. She could sit and stare at you till kingdom come, and still you would learn nothing. That's just how things were. Robin should be used to it by now.

The purple haired titan sighed. "I told you, he touched my mirror."

"But how did you know that he touched the mirror?"

"He moved it."

"But how do you know it wasn't Beastboy that moved it?" Of course Robin had to cross that would he ever want to touch that freaky thing again! Beastboy bristled slightly, feeling rather annoyed at Robin's logic.

"I had a vision… something bad is going to happen." Somehow, Raven sounded... frightened. Were visions something to be feared? The shape-shifter didn't even know Raven could have visions. Maybe it had something to do with knowing magic and spells? What if Malchior could have visions? Or even Zatanna? They were magicians as well.

The green teenager stared intently at the scene before him. Eyes darted from face to face, trying to catch glimpses of emotion. Really, these two would make the perfect duo. They were so alike!

Robin also had that 'dead pan' look and the same upturn in his lips when trying to make sense of his surroundings. The two were perfect at 'the eyebrow raise' and don't even get him started about the ' look of disgust'.

So now, watching the Boy Wonder from his perch on the television, it wasn't hard to catch the upturn of his lip, and the jaw that clenched in determination. Raven, however was different. She seemed...agitated; her fingers danced erratically against her thighs, as if playing a hyper tune. Her thin, perfect eyebrows were scrunched, and her lips were red and blistered between pearly white teeth. Raven did always have perfect teeth.

Robin nodded, a gloved hand reaching out with a slight hesitancy. Beastboy watched as Robin gently placed a hand atop the sorceress' slender palm. "Maybe this time your vision was harmless. If Red-X comes back... we will stop him."

Silence cut across the room, and the shape shifter watched as Raven's hand stopped abruptly. The titan stopped gnawing on her lip, and cocked her head to the side, ever so slightly. The sorceress raised a slender brow, eyes no doubt twinkling with amusement.

Beastboy watched in awe as Raven laughed. Wow! Who knew someone could have such a wicked laugh? It rang out in his sensitive ears...full of mirth and yet, mocking and condescending. As if she was laughing at Robin's determination. Why did she sound...somehow deranged. Almost as if, she were another person?

His green eyes widened as the laughter stopped abruptly. Raven pushed the Boy Wonder back, and swiftly stood to her feet, head still cocked in arrogance. Wow, could Raven be any more awesome! How does she pull that off?

"Maybe, and maybe not." Her words chilled the shape-shifter, leaving him shivering and yet, warm and hot with admiration. Green eyes longingly followed the woman as she left the room, envious of the graceful saunter in her step.

Oh, Raven! Why can't I be as cool as you?

* * *

Well what did you think? I hope it was not confusing.

I have a picture of Red X on my page. He's not going to look exactly like that...his skin should be a copper or bronze color, despite his being half Algonquin. Please look at it and tell me what you think.

Any other suggestions... please review... They could end up the story (I will give credit)

**~heartless16 **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Look at chapter 1**

**Chapter 4**

*** Song in chapter is Tattoo by Jordin Sparks. I do not own it. **

* * *

Lust.

Everyone has felt it once. The heavy, hot burdensome sensations. Skin that burned for touch, for warmth...for love.

Love.

What was love? Was it friendship? Companionship? Wasn't it the same as lust? Why would there be two words for the same thing? If one has lust, does that mean, love is present? How do you know if you have love?

Raven sighed heavily as she stumbled into yet another wall. Black Louboutin stiletto heels dangled from shaking fingers, feet, clad in nude hose, were shivering. Damn it. Why did she listen to Jinx? Why'd she go to that stupid party? The small red Prada clutch clattered to the floor and Raven collapsed along with it, biting back yet another wave of nausea.

Glassy, purple eyes took in her surroundings, trying to make sense of where she ended up. Why couldn't she have teleported home? What on earth was she thinking, taking a taxi and ending up here?

The sound of a creaking door startled the drunk teen and she quickly shot to her feet, hands grasping the wall for support. Let's just pretend I was resting my feet. No one'll think anything of it. I'll just slip on my shoes and go back home. Yes, I'll just-

"Raven?"

Damn it. Of all people...why him? The girl bit her lip nervously. Why'd he have to see her like this? Why!

The man placed a hesitant hand on her shoulder, trying to see past Raven's tousled hair. The teen grimaced, feeling slightly ashamed at the warm tingle that raced up her spine. Damn it. Her feelings were getting out of control again. The sorceress pushed the man away, willing her emotions to remain calm.

The man turned the purple eyed teen around, eyeing her curiously. "Raven, why are you here?"

Those icy blue eyes bored into her soul. She needed to look away. Look away! Or else you'll drown. Look away! Raven averted her eyes, staring instead at the beige carpet.

"Answer me, Raven." His hands left the young woman's wrists, deciding instead to gently caress her face. His eyes flickered mournfully and almost perfect lips turned down in a condescending frown. "You are drunk. Why?"

Raven pushed him away, eyes flickering with anger. "Don't look at me like that!" The titan slipped her shoes back on and turned to leave, not expecting the man to grab her wrists tightly. Raven whirled around, disheveled purple hair whipping her face. Lips, red and glistening turned down in a frown. Violet eyes burned with wrath... She looked like Aphrodite.

If only she had a mirror. If only she could see what others could. The man swallowed, biting back a groan. His icy blue eyes flickered with a different light, his mind was lost in a whirl of emotion. Gently, he pulled the teen into his arms, the sound of his ragged breath echoing in Raven's ears. She felt his hands shaking.

"We-we can't stand out here. Come inside, at least till you feel like going home." A stutter? That was so unlike him. Was he feeling...her emotions? What if he...lost control as well?

Raven's feet felt heavy as they stepped past the door way, her body tensed as ears picked up the sound of the lock as it slid across the door. Eyes flickered apprehensively as the man slid the black trench coat from the teenager's shoulders and a blush heated the titan's cheeks as icy blue eyes took in the strapless, short red bodycon dress.

In the soft glowing light, Raven trembled as the man's cold finger traced down her collarbone. Why was he doing this? Why couldn't she calm her feelings?

"Raven." That whispered voice, so full of emotion. How could one express so much feeling in one word?

"I-I went to a party...with my friend. So don't g-give me that l-look." Oh Azar. Now she was stuttering like a fool. Why did she feel like she owed him an explanation? Why was she trying to justify her actions...trying to look for acceptance. Raven didn't need permission to do anything. She could do whatever she damn well pleased.

"Friend. The one with the strange hair." The man raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for the truth.

He wasn't asking about her friend at all. It was as if he knew what happened. That man knew everything. From the beer pong to the lap-dancing to the two downed bottles of vodka. Oh Azar, why did I ever agree to go to a party with Jinx? What had possessed me to do such despicable things?

No doubt she had painted herself as 'the harlot' in his eyes. Was this man disgusted? Perhaps. Did he hate her now? Most likely. She could not be his 'sweet raven' any-

His lips. His almost perfect lips. It was all the sorceress could think of. And who could blame her? He started it, when he decided to kiss her. The gentle, almost chaste smooch soon blossomed into something violent, passionate and full of want.

His hands stayed dormant, as they pressed against the wall for support. The man's heaving chest were just beyond Raven's fingertips and his groin no doubt ached with heat. Yet he came no closer.

The half-demon was angered. Why was he doing this? Teasing her like this?

But...she didn't want him to stop, no, she would never ask him to stop. Raven wanted to reach out, to let her hands caress the smooth stubble of his jaw, to calm his panting breath, to let him feel release. Her frightened hands remained as they were, frozen to the wall, as the man continued to have his way with her tender, now swollen lips.

It seemed like an eternity before he pulled away, staring into Raven's glassy eyes with a strange look. Strange because Raven had never seen him like this before. Such a dark look. Raven raised a tentative hand, softly touching his cheek. His soft, painful moan frightened the violet eyed titan.

"Raven." The hoarse whisper in his voice raised goosebumps on her exposed flesh. "Sweet Raven. Forgive me."

Why was he asking for forgiveness? Didn't they both know what would happen? Wasn't that why she wanted to ignore him and go home? Raven stared at him, her hand still resting against his cheek. The man's eyes were dark, brooding and tinged with desire. The titan's hand slowly descended, resting once more on the man's heaving chest.

He wasn't asking for forgiveness...he was begging for permission. Raven took a step back, pressing herself against the cold wall once more. Violet eyes brimmed with tears. Was this how it would be? How could she deny him? How could she say no?

"Malchior." Raven's whispered voice echoed in the stillness of the night. In her ears the sound of her heart pounded rapidly. Her slender hand remained pressed against the man's broad chest, silently taking in the man's labored breath. "I-"

Violet eyes gazed intensely into the man's pained blue orbs. He wanted this...and she wanted this. All she need do was give in. Surrender to the passion, give in to the stinging heat of lust. All she need do was say yes.

Yes.

The hand on Malchior's chest resumed their descent, quietly, slowly and agonizingly painful. The glassy violet eyes remained trained on the man's face, silently taking in the look of tortured bliss.

Yes. All we need do is to give in.

"Raven, no." His voice was a low murmur, thick with longing. He didn't believe his words either.

"Malchior. Yes." Raven continued to stare into the icy blue eyes of the man before her. "Yes." The sorceress repeated her words as Malchior's hands rose to catch the zipper of the short red dress.

Yes.

* * *

Depressed.

Down in the dumps.

Melancholy. This was how the Tameranian felt as she sat gloomily in the kitchen, moping over a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. The teenager's red hair was tousled and un-brushed, remnants of last night's spiral curls dangled in a very unattractive manner. Why was she depressed? Why was she moping even though the world's tastiest cereal lay in her breakfast bowl?

Raven had bailed. Raven skipped the Valentines party.

And she'd been AWOL all night long! Starfire huffed angrily, cramming a spoonful of cereal into her mouth. What could have been more important? Raven promised...pinky swore! Did she not know it was death to dishonor a pinky promise? Did she not fear the wrath of the gods?

The sound of heavy footsteps against the linoleum kitchen floor entered into the titan's ears. She turned, eyeing Robin with a rather calm look. It had to have been him. Who else would wear such heavy shoes indoors? Didn't he know those steel toed things can scratch the floors?

Starfire's curious green eyes continued watching the man before her, noting with a strange sensation that his usual costume was missing, and in it's place a dark blue polo and a pair of expensive looking black wash jeans. How much did he pay for those jeans?

The alien had to know. He was always getting angry when Starfire took his credit card to the mall and bought the latest Dooney & Bourke items. But Starfire didn't think she was being unreasonable...she _always _went to the clearance side first.

"Starfire, has Raven come back yet?" Robin questioned, his raspy voice filled with what the red haired titan thought to be irritation. Of course he would be angry, this wasn't the first time Raven had disappeared without any warning.

"I haven't heard any-" The alien's words broke off as the swishing sound of the sliding doors entered her ears. Starfire stood, rushing out of the kitchen prepared to lash out at her friend for abandoning the party. Green eyes flashed in disappointment, pale pink lips were turned down into an attractive pout, eyebrows furrowed with rage.

"Raven, y-"

Terra.

Was that really Terra? The baby blue eyes were the same, the straight, almost greasy blond tresses were the same. Was that really Terra? How? Didn't Raven say it was hopeless? That nothing could be done?

So why?

Starfire stared in disbelief, watching as the sorceress and the resurrected girl set down several duffel bags. The alien noted the pale washed out look on Terra's face and concluded that coming back from the dead really isn't good for the skin. Even so, Starfire had to agree begrudgingly that the pink peasant blouse and light blue jeans suited the earth bender. She really looked alive and healthy in light colors.

As for Raven, where on earth did she get those Louboutins? And the clutch bag, what exactly was the sorceress doing that kept her away from the Tower all night long? Did she really bail to go to some classy get-together?

A huff escaped the alien's pale pink lips. Even the black trench coat, perfectly tousled wavy hair and the stylish shades perched just so on her petite nose. Why was Raven so...so fashionable?

"Terra!"

Beastboy's high pitched shout cut across the silence, startling the red haired alien and causing Robin to quickly exit the kitchen. The two watched in silence as Beastboy and Terra embraced each other emphatically.

Starfire's face was one of awe, she hadn't seen the shape-shifter that happy in a while. Robin, however, was not impressed. His pursed lips were drawn up in disdain, and his eyes no doubt flashed with annoyance and anger behind the domino mask.

Starfire wasn't sure who he was angry with, Terra or Raven. The Tameranian eyed Raven curiously, wondering why she seemed adamant in slipping out of Terra's death grasp and making a bee-line towards the hallway. Why would she try to leave now? Shouldn't she stay and make sure Terra was good? After all, it was bad taste to leave a guest hanging.

"Stop. Stop right there, Raven!" Robin's loud and clipped tone made everyone freeze in their tracks. Starfire, Beastboy and Terra all turned, eyeing their leader with confusion.

Starfire wanted to smirk inwardly, she wanted to see Raven get chewed out for once again doing whatever she pleased. So the alien watched, waiting for Raven to turn around and face her doom.

She never did.

To Starfire's utter horror, the sorceress laughed hysterically, sounding strangely similar to that maniac in Arkham Asylum, Joker. Who knew Raven had it in her? And to defy Robin like that, to just laugh in his face...in the presence of everyone? Who did she think she was?

Raven turned, tilting her stylish red shades forward. "Robin, I'm pretty sure I've warned you about that." A sick sweet smile graced the demoness' features. "Learn to say, please. Please?" The smile disappeared, and in it's place was a steely dark glare. Raven turned once more, and sauntered out the room, her stylish Louboutins clacking down the hall.

Such...such insolence! Such disrespect! Such charisma! Starfire was blown away. When did Raven become like that? What triggered such rude behavior? The alien stood, watching with jaws open as Robin dashed after the violet eyes diva, yelling and cursing loudly. Should she follow them? It would be nice to see Raven get in trouble for disrespecting the leader. Shouldn't the girl know better?

After a minute of hesitation, the alien picked up her feet and followed the two stealthily, still hearing Robin hollering and Raven's heels against the hard floor. She continued, her bare feet padding silently down the halls, they wouldn't notice her. Whenever Robin got involved with the sorceress, it consumed him. Like Slade.

The red haired titan held her breath as she peered around the corner, holding back a huff of satisfaction when Robin grabbed the young woman by the wrist and trapped her in the corner.

"Raven. Answer me. Where'd you go?"

"Robin. It's none of your business. Now let go."

A sigh escaped the Boy Wonder's lips. "Why are you so difficult? Didn't we all agree to at least leave a note before disappearing? Why are you always acting like you're above the rules?"

Starfire watched as Raven's lips twitched into a strange smirk. Her violet eyes twinkled as she spoke. "Since when do I _act_ like I'm above the rules? Robin, I _am _above the rules. Why else would I still be alive?" The sorceress tossed her hair haughtily as she spoke, the proud and condescending tone irritating the red head hiding around the corner.

"Raven. No one's above the rules. Not you, not me. No one." Robin's voice was quiet and cold, a stark contrast from what Starfire wanted to hear. Shouldn't he have been pissed?

The sorceress pursed her lips, a somber look filling her violet eyes. Starfire watched in anger as Raven raised a well manicured hand and gently stroked Robin's cheek. The alien's ears strained to hear what was being spoken.

"Robin. Don't lie to yourself. You _are _above the law...isn't that why you're still here? Isn't that why the Justice League hasn't hauled you off for theft? Isn't that why you haven't gotten punished for what you did to me?"

The Boy Wonder slammed a fist against the wall, startling the alien. "Raven! Don't bring that up again!" Robin's fists trembled, jaw clenched in frustration, his chest rose and fell rapidly.

What did Raven mean? What had Robin done? What was he trying to hide?

"Poor child. Does it hurt? Do you feel the burn of regret, the sting of self-hatred? Don't be too hard on yourself-nobody's perfect. We all make mistakes. All that matters is how you deal with it. What have you done? Did you forget? Try to hide your sin? Or are you going to beg forgiveness...should I be the one to speak first?"

The cold and meancing scarcasm in Raven's voice chilled the room, and with the red shades off, Starfire could see the wicked glint in Raven's eyes. So she was blackmailing Robin! How dare she! The alien seethed watching with a strange satisfaction as Robin slammed the sorceress into the wall, whispering silently into the ear of the purple haired titan.

What was he saying?

She watched Raven's eyebrow raise slightly, and her lips turn down in disappointment. The sorceress placed her slender fingers against Robin's shoulders and violently shove him into the wall opposite her, the sick sounding thud echoed in the alien's ears. Raven's head tilted slightly, and her mouth curled in disdain.

Silence filled the hallway, thick unbearable silence. The alien found she was holding her breath. What would happen now? What did Robin say to make Raven so...so annoyed? Jade green eyes continued staring, focused on the unfolding scene before her.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she finally spoke. "Robin. Understand one thing. I don't belong to anyone. Not to you, not to Justice League. No one. Don't pretend to think you own me after what happened. I wasn't the one who lost control."

The sound of Raven's expensive heels sounded on the floor, each click and clack filling Starfire with hate. When did Raven turn into...such a cold heartless monster? Had she always been this way? And what did she mean, 'lost control'? What had transpired between the two?

Starfire's mind whirled as she tried to comprehend what had transpired. The dark and agonizing emotion Robin was giving off, and the angry and vengeful glint in Raven's violet eyes... it was all too mysterious. What were the two hiding?

Jade green eyes narrowed then widened with surprise. Was-was Robin crying? Starfire turned away,what was she doing? Why was she spying like this? No, she couldn't sit here and watch Robin suffer. Why did he have to suffer because of Raven? Who gave her that right, who gave her the privilege of tormenting Robin like this?

Starfire pursed her lips and swiftly exited the silent hallways, Robin's hiccuping sobs tormenting her soul. She couldn't bear it, seeing Robin cry. Why should he suffer? What did he do to deserve such cruel treatment?

Raven. It was all her fault.

Starfire clenched a fist, a strange sense of retribution filling her heart. Raven would pay for her crimes. It was high time someone brought her down from that pedestal of pride.

* * *

Blue skies.

Blue eyes.

The bluish bruise forming on his shoulder.

A tired laugh escaped pale, parched lips. Robin sat on the Tower's roof staring absently at the sky. He came here a lot to think about everything…but these days Raven was the main thing on his mind. Why had he not noticed her erratic behavior till now? When had she changed into who she was now?

His ears buzzed, Raven's sadistic and hysterical laugh echoed in his mind. The faint scent of alcohol lingered in his nose, yet another reminder of Raven and her antics. So she was out drinking? With who? Where? What if she had gotten hurt?

"Damn it." The Boy wonder cursed. Raven told him to butt out, to leave her alone. He wasn't supposed to care what she did, where she went, who she was with. And he promised her. Stupidly, he promised. Promised to leave her alone, promised not to get involved. Promised to atone for his sin.

Robin couldn't keep those promises. He couldn't just let her go! She...Raven...belonged to him. Raven was his...his and no one else's.

"Boy Wonder, I'd like to have a word with you." A familiar voice broke the peaceful silence.

That accent was very familiar… like someone from New Zealand. He turned and his eyes fell upon a pair of burgundy eyes. "A-Argent? Why are you here?" Didn't she live far away? What was she doing in Jump City?

The young woman smiled pleasantly, red eyes twinkling in the sunlight. He watched as she sat down on the floor opposite him, feet curling up into the lotus position. Leaning forward, the woman began to speak, her thick New Zealand accent coating her words liberally. "Jinx told me to see if Raven was here. She was with me for most of the night. I apologize for any inconvenience."

Robin's heart fluttered at the woman's accent. It was so...captivating. "Raven was with you...for most of the night? She didn't stay for the rest of the event?"

A slightly embarrassed laugh escaped the woman's full lips. "As much as I hate to admit, we lost track of her. She left the party...no one knows where she went. Didn't see her the rest of the night."

Behind the domino mask, ice blue eyes widened. "She just left? Do you have any idea where you think she went?" The young man questioned, hoping he didn't sound too curious. It wouldn't do to come off as obsessive.

Argent's red eyes regarded him skeptically. Her full pale lips scrunched together, as if deep in thought. "What would you do, if I said I knew? You wouldn't just let it go, right?"

Damn. This girl was too smart. "I might let things slide...depending on where she went." The soft peal of laughter that escaped Argent's lips sent a heated flush up Robin's cheeks. Why was he feeling this way?

"Then perhaps you shouldn't know. For Raven's sake, just forget about it. She's already suffering enough."

"Suffering?" Robin grew angry at the thought. "Why would Raven be suffering?" His gloved hands shook with rage. Raven, suffering? What the hell? Wasn't she the one blackmailing him at every turn? Always reminding him of that night? Always shoving all the blame to him? "Is she the one who can't sleep because of guilt? Does she hate herself, hate what she's become?"

Red eyes darkened. Argent's cute lips turned down into an angry frown. "Robin. You think too much of yourself! Do you really think Raven wouldn't feel guilty? That she wouldn't hate herself for betraying Starfire? You don't know anything! You've never seen how she cries herself to sleep every night or what it's like to hear someone you love talk about suicide! Do you!"

"S-suicide?" Robin's face paled, and his hands began to tremble violently. "W-why?" Raven, why? Didn't she know it wasn't her fault? That he was to blame for what happened? Wasn't he the one who couldn't control himself?

Argent bit her lip, looking at the golden bangles resting on her wrists. "It's not just you...something else is tormenting her. Raven won't tell me. So please," Argent held out her hands, folded as if in prayer, "please don't give her a hard time." The young woman's voice wavered, as if she were on the verge of tears.

Robin's eyes watered. He couldn't stand the look of desperation on the woman's face. The pleading glint in her eyes and the anxious gnawing of soft plump lips. He didn't like that face. Couldn't stand that face. He didn't want to see Argent's tears.

"D-don't cry. I promise. I won't give her a hard time." He reached out, gloved fingers grasping Argent's shaking hands. "Please don't cry. I won't hurt Raven. Not anymore."

* * *

_If I live every moment, Won't change any moment,_

_There's still a part of me in you._

Feet pounded on the concrete sidewalk, loosely tied hair tossed and turned in the early evening breeze. The music device continued playing, the melody's soulful lyrics pricking the young woman's heart. He didn't care for her that much, did he? Why would he? After all she said, after how she treated him? Who would care?

_I will never regret you, still the memory of you_

_Marks everything I do._

Why was the song right? She didn't want to admit it, she refused to admit it. But it was true. Everything was true. Violet eyes blinked away tears, she didn't want to admit that the song was right. The tears were simply from the wind. Her mind said this over and over...like a never-ending mantra and her heart protested every time.

Why couldn't she just let it go?

Why couldn't she let him go?

_I can't waste time so give it a moment  
I realize nothing's broken._

Don't waste time. She shouldn't waste time on stuff like this. What's done is done. Hands wiped the drying tears away, sensitive nose picking up the smell of salt and earth. Purple eyes stared at the blur of trees, flowers and rocks that snaked along the dusty pathway. Feet clad in black and white sneakers slowed down, muscles ached with every step.

She had to climb this hill.

_No need to worry bout everything I've done,_  
_Live every second like it was my last one._

No more worries, no more second guessing. No more living with the past. The teenager exhaled loudly, fingers brushing the dark strands of hair away from her slick brow. Damn ponytail holders. Her thighs burned, heart pounded, the dark black tee-shirt clung like a second skin. The water proof jogging pants swished with every tiring step.

Almost there. Almost to the top.

The teenager smiled, she could barely contain the bubble of laughter building up within her heart as her steps finally slowed to a stop. Violet eyes stood, staring at the scene that descended before her. The tall trees that shaded the paths, the huge playground that teemed with children.

The solemn and serene benches that dotted the park, and the large fountain. Oh, what she wouldn't give to play in the fountain!

_Don't look back, got a new direction_  
_I loved you once, needed protection._

The titan resisted the urge to look back. Why should she? After seeing all that lay before her...the shade, the fountain. Everything! Was this what it meant to put away the past? To simply move on? On to better things, to step onto the path to greatness!

_You're still a part of everything I do,_  
_You're on my heart just like a tattoo_

Violet eyes twinkled with a solemn silence. Yes, she loved him once...but it was time to let go. Time to give it all to move on. Just move on...and keep only the memories. The happy times. Forever engraved within her heart...

_Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you_

_I'll always have you._

The bubble of laughter burst from her heart and the teen began dashing down the hill, feet flying as if a burden had been lifted from her slender shoulders. Eyes closed behind the rushing wind, dark purple and black hair whipped back and forth as if alive.

Why did she feel so...so happy? So alive...so free? Who knew such feelings existed? This sensation of exhilaration, of renewal, of pure unbridled joy!

What had she been missing out on?

The teen felt the smack before she heard it. Hands flailed in vain, before landing against the concrete sidewalk, where the gravel pierced her flesh. The ear buds that rested comfortably between her ears slipped to the floor, knocked out from the impact. Thighs ached from the contact with the hard ground. And her nose, oh Azar, her nose hurt!

What had she run into? A brick wall?

"Are you alright?"

The purple haired titan's eyes widened. Wait, since when did brick walls talk? The rushing wind echoed in the young woman's ears as she tilted her head towards the sunlight. In the sky, the orange light of evening glowed serenely, signaling yet another day gone.

Violet eyes squinted, the evening sun blinding her eyes. Silently, she watched as the man knelt before her a look of worry etched onto his eyebrows. Whoa... he even blocked the sunlight! Raven thought this, not fully aware of the randomness in her mind. After being hit by something that hard, random acts seem normal.

"Are you alright?" The man spoke again, voice tainted with worry and apprehension.

Raven's eyes fluttered up and stared in shock. Ruby red lips dropped slightly and butterflies filled the young woman's stomach. Oh gosh! When was the last time she felt like this? Why was she acting like a love struck teenager?

She'd seen hot guys before...just not ones with eyes as yellow as honey and lips as perfect as Tom Welling. The man's skin was copper toned, and his nose slanted and curved softly, quite a contrast from the straight pointedness of Malchior's nose.

Dark defined eyebrows rested comfortably on a square forehead, his high cheekbones were chiseled out, displaying his jaw and strong detailed chin. Jet black and tousled hair tumbled messily across the man's face, framing his forehead and narrow eyes.

Raven marveled, wondering how such straight hair could appear so...curly. The man looked like he was native american, but Raven couldn't really be certain. Her violet eyes flickered back up to observe the man's eyes, noting with abject wonder the way his narrow eyelids seemed to slant inward.

This phenomena, along with the unusual gold color, gave the man a strange cat-like appearance. The sorceress shook her head. It was wrong to be staring like this. Snap out of it! "I'm I-I'm fine. Uh- sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going."

Raven smiled sheepishly and chuckled, her mind a whirl and tumble of emotions. Somehow, she felt self-conscious and nervous. Ugh, what was with the stuttering! Raven stared at her hands and began brushing the bits of gravel from between her fingers. Violet eyes stayed concentrated on the ground, hoping to quell the fluttering birds within her stomach.

The man gently took Raven's hands within his own, quietly observing the scrapes. "Looks like you fell quite hard. I wasn't watching my step as well. Sorry."

Oh! That accent! What a strange accent! Where did it come from? His 'sorry' sounded...so different. Raven blinked rapidly, ruby red lips whispered wordlessly. Damn it! Why was she being so nervous? She couldn't even look him in the face without feeling flustered! Cursed emotions! Raven smiled, gently pulling her hands from the man's warm grasp.

She smiled and nodded her thanks as the man helped her up. Her violet eyes searched his face, confused by the strange sense of familiarity. Had she seen him somewhere before? Perhaps, at the bar?

The man smiled, his dimpled grin heating Raven's skin. "Is it possible that...we've met before?" Dark eyebrows rose and a questioning look entered his golden eyes.

Raven bit her lip, drawing her gaze from his muscled chest and arms. Wasn't it unfair to look this good? How was he tall and lithe, similar to Robin, and yet as muscular and built like Aqualad? His arms were toned and muscled, and his hands were large and masculine, but the man's fingers were slender, thin and...almost feminine. Could he be an artist?

"Have we? I can't seem to remember. Um, what was your name, again?" Raven asked apprehensively, not wanting to come off as invasive. Maybe she'll remember his name?

The man grinned once more, causing Raven's heart to flutter lightly. "The name's Derek. And yours, Princess?" The man's voice was light and carefree, the low sophisticated tones giving him the air of a singer.

Raven coughed. Princess! Why Princess! "Um...Uh." Damn it. She can't give him her real name! Then he'd know who she really was. Think, Raven think! A name... A name...

"Call me Adrianna."

* * *

**Well, here's the next chapter…how was it? This took a long time; I wanted it to be perfect. If you don't think it was, please review and tell me what's wrong. I promise to fix it.**

**HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!**

**heartless16**


	5. Chapter 5

**I finally updated! Thanks everyone for all the reviews.**

**Disclaimer: Look at Chapter 1 **

**Chapter 5**

* * *

Robin reached for his mug of coffee and took a sip.

Ice blue eyes glanced over the room, noting the lazy atmosphere. Starfire was sprawled on the floor, watching the television at an ungodly volume. Why was the thing so loud in the first place? Was she deaf?

The Boy Wonder groaned inwardly, his mind returning to the newspaper sprawled on the table. Perhaps he would go and train later; then maybe finish the pile of files that was sitting at his desk. The Boy Wonder honestly didn't understand why he had to file those reports anyway.

The police were always on the scene of crimes and usually his team collaborated with them and didn't hold back information. What was the point of filing those reports when the police already had them? It was a waste of time on both sides. Plus he was two weeks behind. He sighed inwardly.

Hopefully there would be no crime fighting at all. The last few weeks had been hectic…between Red X and the HIVE members it seemed like they would never get rest. Robin was so deep into his musings that he never heard Raven till her arms were wrapped around his neck and her light voice whispered into his ear.

"Buenos Dias! Your going out with me today." That tone. That soft seductive tone.

The Boy Wonder trembled, ice blue eyes closed tightly behind the domino mask. Oh god. Her breasts, those soft breasts pressing against his back. The newspaper crinkled between his clenched fingers. The young man swallowed, trying to quell the growing tightness in his pants.

Robin's ears picked up the sound of padding feet, and to his relief, the weight pressing against him left. He opened his eyes and watched the sorceress tread quietly into the kitchen. The young man bit his lip. Why did Raven's bare feet seem...so intriguing? Hadn't he seen them before? So why now was he struck with this strange sense of nostalgia and endearment?

His observant eyes spotted a small tattoo on each ankle…five black stars lined up in a crescent moon shape; it seemed to wrap around her slender ankles and stand out against her pale skin. Raven had another tattoo?

Well, it wasn't really that much of a surprise, seeing as she did have another one decorating her lower back. A strange and eccentric tattoo of a raven, one with sharply pointed wings and menacing red eyes, seemingly suspended for eternity. Yes, Robin remembered that tattoo well. The day he first glimpsed it, he was reminded of Slade, and the mark of Scath.

Raven was uncharacteristically mum about the inking. Each time he inquired, all he received were dark looks and well crafted evasions. But this one...he'd never noticed before. Why not? What did it mean? And why did it strangely look... like a chain of some sort? The way it curved around her slender ankles...and seemed to connect together?

"Did you not hear what I said? You're coming out with me today."

The irritable voice and the sound of snapping fingers shattered the Boy Wonder's thoughts. Robin looked at her, taking notice of the dark khol that rimmed her eyes. Raven seemed to like the 'smoldering eyes' look...it was something that he always noticed. Khol was like her signature...very few people could pull it off. "Sorry. Where are we going?" He noticed her frown slightly.

"Sector seven. The mayor needs me to…clear up a few things. And you are coming because I need you when we're done." She sounded indifferent and bored, as though her donuts were of far greater importance. And perhaps they were. Why should Raven have to answer to him when there was a plate of fresh glazed sugary goodness...patiently waiting to be consumed?

Robin understood...although it hurt his ego. "Isn't sector seven the part of town that's been having some wild animal attacks lately?" He remembered a report about wild animal attacks on the news. At first he brushed it off...it was probably a bear... since that section of town was older and set close to the forest.

But every time he opened a newspaper or turned on the TV, something about it was mentioned. As usual, some of the more eccentric people of Jump began to equate it to vampires and werewolves. Absurd right? So why was Raven laughing? He stared at her blankly as she choked on her orange juice, violet eyes twinkling with a strange mirth.

But what was so funny about what he said?

Eventually Raven calmed down and her face returned to it's normal blank state. But there was no missing the mischievous twinkle in her eye, and the slight upturn of her ruby red lips. "Yes Robin, that sector seven. It is because of those attacks that the mayor called me there."

Interesting. The mayor never called on Raven personally...unless something 'otherworldly' was going on. Starfire and Beastboy thought it was cool...but I knew better. It was simply the mayor's subtle way of keeping an eye on her. She probably knew it as well...but didn't say anything. Together they sat in silence, Robin pretending to read his paper, Raven chowing down on her donuts and staring intently at the blaring TV in the distance.

Presently she glanced up at him. "I should have never told Star about Disney Chanel."

Robin chuckled and Raven glared at him. She sighed heavily and finished her orange juice. "I have a surprise for you…well I don't think it's a surprise, but you will."

"Oh? What is that?"

Raven chuckled and stood up. "Mi Amor, If I told you, It wouldn't be a suprise now would it?"

Before he opened his mouth to reply, she was gone. Raven was unusually happy…and what's up with the random Spanish?

**oOoOo**

Driving with Raven.

It was...an interesting experience in Robin's mind. He never usually drove with her, preferring to take his motorcycle. It wasn't like she was a bad driver, although he'd been forced to reprimand the sorceress several times for drag racing down the highway. Starfire assured him Raven is a safe driver… but she cautioned to have the seatbelt on at all times. Raven wasn't one to take challenges lightly, she said.

So here he was, strapped into Raven's sleek black Aston Martin (courtesy of Cyborg) listening to some rap-slash-pop song and actually enjoying himself. Well not so much the music. Robin had always been a rock person, and didn't really keep up with the radio hits anymore. After hearing someone called Miley Cyrus, Robin decided that radio just wasn't what it used to be.

The Boy wonder was surprised however that Raven listened to and enjoyed rap music. The Tameranian told him that Eminem was one of Raven's favorites but that the violet haired titan would listen to almost anything. This was a revelation to Robin. She always seemed the gothic music type…yet there she was driving down the highway, singing along to some Drake song...at least Raven said it was a Drake song. Robin didn't know who 'Drake' was.

A sigh escaped the teenager's lips. That pile of papers needed to be filed, the mayor was requesting another tax return form, and Bruce had sent him yet another standardized test booklet. Apparently, he wasn't supposed to fall behind in studies. "Rae where are you taking me? I've got a ton of work to finish."

"Amor, I'm doing you a favor. You are here for a good reason… I just have to oversee something for the mayor first."

Ah. That explains the outfit. She seemed dressed for and interview with a white tank top and a black button up blouse, pressed black slacks and black pumps. Everything about her (minus the rapping) screamed business today.

"See these animal attacks aren't just plain old attacks. The victims were allowed to live. No wild animal does that."

"So what kind were they?"

"Vampire attacks."

Robin's eyes widened slightly. "Vampires exist?" He knew he sounded pretty dumb...but it couldn't be helped. Vampires were things only seen in fictional worlds and movies. They had extraordinary powers, lived at night and drank blood.

He glanced out the window as they passed over one of the many bridges that dotted the city. Jump City was always sunny... and didn't vampires hate the sun? Wasn't there something about them being allergic to sunlight? Then there was this issue of them glittering...but he found that ridiculous.

What would a monster be doing glittering? Better yet, what would vampires be doing in Jump City? Jump City was famous for it's warm temperatures, and sunny beaches and outlet malls. Although the night-life was pretty awesome...it wasn't what made the small city famous. Without the sun, Jump was meaningless. So what were vampires doing here?

Raven chuckled. "Duh…just cause you don't see them doesn't mean they're myths. I'm a demon and I exist."

"True, but you're only half."

"But that half had to come from somewhere." Robin grimaced at the sing-song voice...as it reminded him too much of those stupid kid shows.

He opened his mouth but could not say anything to retort. "I'm going to stop talking now."

Raven laughed and Robin couldn't help but observe how unusually white and fang-like her teeth looked against her pale skin and crimson colored lips. Perhaps coincidence? Robin shook the thought from his head. His mind was playing trick on him…

Right?

**oOoOo**

He was brought out of his thoughts when the car stopped in front of a huge Victorian looking house. He took notice of the people in the back yard…there seemed to be a party or a gathering of some sort. How could any of them be vampires? They certainly looked and acted human…

"Richard snap out of it!" He glanced up into Raven's piercing violet eyes. Richard? Raven knew his real name? When?

"You have to stop zoning out. Is this what you do when you're wearing your mask?"

Robin laughed at her exasperated face. "Sorry Rae, I was just thinking."

Raven smirked and flicked his sunglasses. "Whatever. Look this is what's going to happen. We will meet some people and then we'll go to the court house."

"Sure." He observed someone coming down the lawn to meet them. It was a guy and he looked somewhere in his early twenties. The man was tall and well built with mischievous twinkling brown eyes, messy black hair and a cocky grin.

Robin watched in astonishment as the man threw his arms around Raven…and she willingly hugged him back. The man whispered something into Raven's ear and she drew back and smacking him lightly on the arm. Robin glimpsed a faint blush on her cheeks.

"Richard, meet Gabriel Sanchez."

Gabriel held out his hand and Robin shook it, instantly despising the guy. He had no right to despise him…the two had barely met and yet something about Gabriel just grated on his nerves.

Perhaps it was his arrogant grin that seemed to mock him…or his flashing impish eyes that seemed to say 'I know something you don't…or the way he wrapped around his hands around Raven's waist as if to say she was his.

Robin bit his lip. Why was he acting like this? Like a jealous boyfriend? Ice blue eyes flickered with sadness behind darkly shaded glasses as Robin continued watching the two. Raven told him to back off, to let her 'live however she wanted'. And he promised... stupidly he promised. Was this what he signed up for?

To stand aside and see the girl he loved in someone else's arms? He said nothing as they headed up the green, well manicured lawn. In front of them, the medium sized Victorian-esque house loomed before them, shaded by dense trees from the afternoon sun.

Several toys littered the lawn; a set of blue and black pom-poms, a purple pair of small child-like ballet shoes and a jump rope. Robin blinked, wondering where the child was. Turning his head, he caught sight of the driveway and the row of neat shrubs beside the front porch.

Robin squinted in the sunlight, drowning out the sounds of Raven's enchanting laughter, rushing wind and bubbling brook. Yes, brook. There was a small brook surrounding the house, and it flowed between the trees and probably was responsible for the greenness of the lawn. The Boy Wonder's sharp eyes spotted a young girl on the porch, swinging quietly in the shade.

As the three drew closer, Robin watched as the girl abruptly ceased in her aimless swinging and swiftly turned, brown and oddly empty eyes staring in their direction. Was the girl blind? Why else would her face be so blank and unresponsive? Why else would her fingers be tense and her feet poised to escape?

"It's alright mi hija, I only brought some friends."

Gabriel's smooth voice seemed to calm the young girl, and Robin watched as she visibly relaxed, a charming smile decorating her small face. "Papi, which friends? The ones who cannot seem to be quiet in the back? I love the surprise party…I really do, but maybe next time you should pick a better place for them to hide." Her voice was light, vibrant and full of innocence- something that he always associated with Starfire.

Gabriel laughed as he sat down beside her. The man's eyes twinkled with laughter as his hands caressed the top of the girl's messy french braid. "Maybe you should have found a better place to wait, Angelita."

The girl smiled, but it quickly disappeared and was replaced by a frown. "Papi, who are these friends you speak of? I do not recognize them."

Robin found the girl's words rather odd. What did she mean by 'recognize'? He frowned briefly as he followed Raven onto the porch at Gabriel's beckoning. The Boy Wonder bit his lip, watching silently as Raven knelt before the curious girl.

"You don't remember me Angel?" Raven's soft voice seemed sorrowful...and it was quite convincing, until Robin realized that it was forced.

Who knew Raven could fool even him with that tone? How many other times had she sounded like that and he believed her? He shook his head, still watching the scene before him. The girl had been silent for a while, her hands quietly exploring the sorceress features. Once the girl's fingers brushed the ruby chakra embedded on Raven's forehead, a bright and happy smile spread on the young girl's face.

"Raven! You came all this way and took the time out from your crime fighting to see me?" The young child's voice was full of excitement and wonder.

"Of course, sweetheart, I wouldn't miss your birthday for anything. I even brought a friend too."

"Is it Heather? She was always very funny." Robin had to frown at this point. Who was Heather?

"No, his name is Richard."

"Richard." Angel whispered his name softly and frowned in concentration. Finally Angel held out her hands. "Richard, let me see you."

He knelt down and she gently explored his face, her soft fingertips lightly ghosting over his skin. He had a friend once who was blind and was also part of the circus troop. The boy was excellent on the trapeze, to the point of envy. Robin always marveled at the way he flipped and tumbled fearlessly through the air...despite his blindness.

Robin feared heights at the time and his father was always telling him, 'If you think about falling, then you will.' Such things were easier said than done. Perhaps that's what made his friend so daring...he couldn't see the danger.

Robin tensed when, those small soft hands began to tug on his dark shades. He knew...the girl didn't mean any harm, but that did nothing to calm his frazzled nerves. He was taught never to show his face...and that if he did, he would be compromising many people who depended on him.

And he knew, the girl was blind, she wouldn't be able to see anything...but it was too much a favor to ask. The Boy Wonder would have pulled back, were it not for the comforting hand resting on his shoulder.

It often scared him how connected he was to Raven despite the rift between the two. She always seemed to know exactly what to do...something that, unfortunately couldn't save their relationship.

As much as they understood each other, there was a part of Raven that she couldn't share...the part of her that he wanted the most. For him, he couldn't control his temper...couldn't keep his hands to himself. He was to blame for everything.

"Richard has long eyelashes."

Raven chuckled softly. "Yea, I guess he does."

"Richard is a very handsome man." A sly tone entered the youth's voice. Richard bit his lip once more, feeling uncomfortable about what the girl would say next.

Raven smiled. "Yes, I guess he is."

Angel dropped her hands to her lap and turned eagerly toward Raven. "Is he your boyfriend?"

Raven choked, Robin's mouth dropped open in shock, and Gabriel began to laugh as he scooped the girl into his arms and made his way inside, father and daughter now speaking in rapid Spanish.

Robin slipped his glasses back on, feeling strangely flustered that he couldn't understand the two. Although he spoke and read fluent Spanish, it had always been a challenge actually deciphering the language when spoken. A sigh escaped the young man's lips and he turned towards Raven, noting the amused look on her face, and wistful glint of her eyes.

"So, Rae how old is Angel…that is her name right?"

"Um, yea…she turns twelve today."

"Twelve! She looks like she's eight."

Raven nodded, a sorrowful and slightly guilty look etched into her features. "She was born premature…then her mother died about a year or two after she was born."

They entered the house and Robin was surprised at the numerous paintings that adorned the walls. Images of oceans, rivers, waterfalls, grasslands all hung or sat on the wall, telling a unique story; and every single one of them was hand painted.

Robin noticed a group of family portraits; all hand painted as the others. Many of these depicted a family portrait in a garden, with smiling parents and laughing children. Yet sadness seemed to radiate out of the pictures.

As he stared in awe at the antique looking pictures, a familiar tune filled his ears. Oh, this piece! The Chop Waltz! (1) Robin turned with a start, eyes filled with a reminiscent light. Images of his mother filled his mind. The piano...his mother loved the piano, perhaps more than the circus life she lead. Music was her life...and she had been determined to teach Robin everything about the piano.

It was rather frustrating at the time, he was only seven and admittedly preferred playing baseball with his friends. She didn't let him get off that easily...'Piano will teach you patience, little robin, something that you need desperately.'

Yes, Robin had no patience. He has always been impulsive, an 'act first and think later kind of guy.' The military probably would have suited him better than working under Batman...who always seemed to have alternative plans stashed away in his mind.

He remembered the soft touch of her hands as she set his hands into position, the light encouraging voice as they played slowly, the faint smell of lilac as she placed comforting arms around him when he became frustrated.

He never was able to succeed at playing that song in it's normal tempo….they never got that far. He followed the notes in his head as the tempo sped up, surprised that he could still remember. Up until a point that is...suddenly it was too fast, and he could no longer keep up.

Then, as abruptly as the music started it stopped, leaving an uncomfortably silence in it's wake. Robin shook his head, hoping to clear the gloomy memories from his head.

Robin peered out the window, blue eyes taking in Angel and her friends as they danced. The young man blinked, staring intently at Angel's smiling face before whirling back to observe the painting resting on the wall.

The two were so...similar-from the warm brown eyes, to the innocent mirthful smile, the curly black tresses and chestnut colored skin. Perhaps the lady was Angel's mother. How did she die? And why did her brown eyes exude this...stifling sorrow?

"Richard, are you not having fun?" The light and airy voice entered the Boy Wonder's ears and his mind drifted. Somehow, hearing her voice, he was drawn back to the Tower, the ocean view from the massive windows, and Starfire's light and fruity scent as she stood beside him. Those lazy evenings.

"The party's nice…I just don't know why I am here." A wry smile spread on his face as he inwardly cursed Raven and her mysteries.

"Oh. But you have questions…perhaps I can answer them for you?"

Robin stared in disbelief. How could she have known? Did the girl have some form of empathy? Powers similar to Raven? Shaking his head, Robin tentatively asked his question. "Well, uh, I just...wanted to know more about your mother."

Angel flinched slightly and Robin instantly regretted asking. She was quiet for a while and then she spoke in a low voice. "You... saw the paintings."

The Boy Wonder nodded hesitantly. He bit his lip anxiously, feeling rather stupid and evil for asking such a question. He didn't want to make her feel bad or anything. After all, this was her birthday, who would want to feel sad on their birthday?

Robin cursed himself inwardly as he watched the twinkling brown eyes fade. Angel's hands which had been clasped politely behind her back, now began to toy around with a small sheet of paper.

"She died when I was two." The once exuberant voice had faded, leaving a strange melancholy vibe in the air.

"Forgive me. I didn't mean to make you sad."

A gentle smile graced the twelve year old's lips. "Don't be. I kind of remember her…though my memories are a bit unclear. I was the one who painted those pictures."

"Really?" Robin was nonplussed. Angel painted those pictures? How coud she have painted those pictures? Wasn't the girl blind? What powers did she possess to allow her paint such elaborate artwork?

"Yes…They came to me in a dream; all my paintings come to me in dreams." The gloom that entered her voice was gone, and now she sounded happy and jubilant.

"Wow. They're really nice. How do you know Raven?"

"I do not fully remember the first time I met her. My father says that I met her when we moved from Gotham City and after my mother died. She's from there you know." Angel paused, eyebrows furrowing in concentration as her hands continued to fold and bend the piece of paper. "Anyway, Raven has been friends with my father for a long time before that…She's like a mother to me."

The excited girl took a breath before continuing, making Robin chuckle slightly. "I would paint a picture, but every dream I have about her…I hear her voice but I cannot see her…like she's covering herself from the world. Is Raven like that? Does she hide from everyone? Is she filled with mystery and intrigue?"

Robin chuckled. "Sometimes…Raven likes to keep to herself." Raven had been in Gotham before arriving at Jump? How could he not have known? No wonder Bruce always inquired after her well being.

He always thought the man did that as a result of the increased surveillance after the Trigon incident. The justice League didn't want another apocalypse occurring because of Raven's high level secrecy. Did Raven actually spend time with him before coming to Jump? Was Bruce the one who sent her here after him?

Angel nodded enthusiastically. "I will remember that." Her face brightened slightly and a mischievous look spread upon her adorable face. "You know…I think my dad loves her. I can feel it."

"Does Raven love him?" He didn't know why he asked that question, perhaps it was sheer curiosity, or maybe the strange jealously that surged up inside him when he saw the two together…he didn't know.

Angel shrugged. "I cannot tell. When I try and read her emotions, I do not feel love. I feel sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, happiness, and a strange feeling I have not experienced before. But I do not feel love."

The young girl pressed the piece of paper into his hands and stood, her hand resting tentatively on his arm. "To be honest, I don't think Raven knows what love is. "

Looking into his hands, Robin found that she had folded a perfect paper heart.

How ironic.

**oOoOo**

Robin was surprised when he stepped into Jinx's apartment. Sunlight filtered in through the many windows and plants drooped lazily from the ceiling, hung from the walls and stood in strategic spots around the living room space.

The cream walls, chocolate brown borders, and tan carpet created a relaxing effect which was further enhanced by the simple but snug furniture. It was such a nice place, he thought. Who knew Jinx could be so neat and have such a designer's eye for furniture? Robin stared at the carpet, glad he left his shoes beside the door. The softness and the cushioning between his toes was really nice.

Chucking inwardly, the young man followed Raven into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Sitting in the middle of the table were some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Robin watched with curiosity as Raven pulled the plate away from the center piece and into her prying fingers.

He blinked, as the cookies began to disappear one by one, into Raven's mouth. So this was what they called a 'cookie monster'? The Bow Wonder mused, completely unaware of his surroundings untill the loud clomp of Jinx's shoes sounded against the shiny wood flooring. He turned, taking in the bright red skinny jeans and the black baby-doll top the ex-HIVE member was wearing. Where do people buy such bright jeans?

Starfire had a pair...a bright painful-to-look-at-pink pair of jeans. Of course, it was bought with his credit card...and he never received the receipt. Why does he even give it to her? Especially since all she does is buy clothes?

"Why can't you bake your own cookies for once…this store bought shit is horrible." Robin turned at Raven's voice, and raised and eyebrow. Why complain after eating half the plate?

"Then why are you eating it, dumbass." Jinx countered. Robin watched the two laugh, a look of disbelief on his face. These two were...strange.

Then again, Robin had met stranger people. He would probably be considered strange by some. He was obsessed with a villain that had one eye, extremely paranoid, and had an unhealthy fear of clowns. These two were normal compared to him.

Raven shrugged. "I really don't know. Here, Robin try some." She passed the plate over to him, stood up and opened the refrigerator.

"Rae is there something you need to tell me?" The pink haired woman asked, her back turned to something cooking on the stove.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well you just polished half a dozen cookies in less than five minutes, and now you are poking through my fridge...when there's lunch cooking?"

Raven looked confused. "I'll still eat."

Jinx laughed. "You're missing the point Rae. I know when something is bothering you 'cause all you do is eat."

Raven laughed, almost in disbelief. "You noticed?" Her hands nervously raked through streaked black hair, and the sorceress bit her lip. She was obviously worried about something. "Umm. Gosh. What would you do, if you wanted something...something you can't have?"

A strange sneer spread on Jinx face. Robin watched in confusion as the pink haired woman chuckled. "You don't back down do you? How many times have we talked about this? No means no, Raven. It's that simple."

Robin watched in astonishment as Raven tilted her head, a look of abject rebellion glittering in her violet eyes. She raised one eyebrow and grinned chilling the room with her strangely tense emotions. "No? Sweetheart, that word means nothing to me. People don't tell me no...they can't!"

"And why can't they, Raven? Why must you get what you want? That's not how things work! There are people out there who don't fear you, Raven!" Jinx sounded frusterated and annoyed.

Perhaps they've had this argument before? What was it that Raven couldn't have?

Raven laughed darkly. "Like Giselle? And look at how she turned out. Just admit it, Jinx. I can do whatever I want. No one gets in my way."

"Then why ask me such questions? If you want to break the rules go ahead! Why do you keep pestering me...what are you trying to prove! You want me to give you my blessings? Should I sanction your twisted and abominable cravings? You've already defiled yourself with Mal-"

Robin stared in disbelief as Raven swiftly crossed the room and clamped a hand over Jinx mouth. The two stood there, glaring at each other with angry eyes and shaking hands.

"Jinx? What's with all the shouting? I could hear you outside." The nonchalant voice of Kid-Flash broke the heavy tension in the room, and Robin watched Jinx push Raven away softly. For a moment, it seemed as if the ex-villain was blinking away tears.

"Robin, were they fighting?" Kid-Flash questioned, his voice failing to match with the death-like chill over the room.

"I don't know. Um...who's Mal? Jinx mentioned that name." Robin lowered his voice and bit his lip anxiously. Would Flash know? Maybe he should ask Raven on the way home?

"Mal. Dunno." The man shrugged his shoulders dismissively, then snatched the plate of cookies and emptied the plate in his mouth. Robin fought the urge to gag. How could one fit so many cookies into one mouth? The Boy Wonder shivered, his mind returning to the ever elusive 'Mal'.

He'd heard that name before. That night Red X entered the Tower...Starfire said his name. And apparently Raven had been texting this Mal. Why did he feel like he should know this 'Mal'? Who was he?

Mal. Malcolm? Malcolm in the Middle? No.

Maleficent? The dragon from Sleeping Beauty? Wait, dragon? It couldn't be! He was still in the book, right?

"Hey Robin, guess what?" The childish voice of Kid-Flash intruded in his thoughts. Robin glanced over, wondering how someone so...hyper and immature could be considered a protege.

"Hmm?

"I've got some intel on Red X."

* * *

Warm breeze.

Bright, summer sunshine.

The sound of the umbrella rustling in the afternoon wind, and the tantalizing scent of garlic and bread-sticks filled the air. Gosh! What she would give for a plate of hot spagetti and a side salad soaked in dressing! Raven shook her head, cursing about her lack of monetary funds. All she had was a twenty...she probably couldn't even buy an appetizer at such a fancy restaurant.

But at least she could buy gas for the ride home. Shouldn't she be happy about that? Shouldn't she be thankful for this nice weather, after two days of rain? Shouldn't she be praising the gods for finally escaping the stifling and suffocating Tower?

It was her day off!

Shouldn't she be happy? Carefree and joyful?

Raven scoffed, her violet eyes glittering with a sarcastic light. Who has time for such nonsense? Especially when doing math homework. Why was she doing this again? Oh, right. Beastboy. She owed him, did she not? After all, he covered for her once when she was at Malchior's. But what was she doing at Malchior's house? Why did she keep going back?

It was stupid of the sorceress to think that her guilty conscience wouldn't become a bother. Stupid of her to think those cursed emotions wouldn't run out of control. Raven was using him...simply to satisfy her unholy cravings.

She didn't want any of this!

She didn't want to make the man suffer! To use him like this and simply cast him aside heartlessly...just wasn't her intention at all! Raven chewed on her lip, a frustrated look growing on her features.

Damn it all!

The sorceress turned back to the homework laying in front of her, angrily tackling another set of problems. She couldn't help the feeling of restlessness that overcame her.

The longing to move, the tense muscles, itchy fingers and impatient breath. Raven's hands impatiently tangled themselves through shoulder length streaked hair, and the half-demon sighed in agitation.

She couldn't stand the length of her hair. She hated the tickling as the strands brushed her face. Raven gripped the pencil in her trembling fingers. She hated this stupid book. Hated these damn trig problems. Why was she doing this? Why can't Beastboy do his own fucking homework!

The pencil slipped from her agitated fingers and clattered to the table dejectedly. Raven glared at it, violet eyes beginning to glow with rage. Raven gripped her hair angrily, biting back the urge to throw the book into the middle of oncoming traffic.

She felt like screaming.

Suddenly a warm comforting hand descended on her cold and tense shoulder. The sorceress stiffened, whirling around to see who dared touch her with such abandon. Raven wasn't expecting to see those golden eyes. She blinked, the angry and restless feelings fading from her visage. "D-Derek?"

He smiled gently. "Answer's seven, princess."

"S-Seven?" Raven turned back to the book glanced at it for a brief moment, then looked back at the man in confusion. The answer was seven...but how did he know which problem she was doing? How could he have guessed the right one...out of twenty others?

Who was this man? And why did she feel like she should know him?

**oOoOoOo**

Cold wind.

Despite the warm summer sunshine.

Golden eyes stared intently down at the teenager, taking in the slight crease of her brow and unstable flightiness of her violet eyes. The fingers resting on her tensed shoulder chilled rapidly, despite the warm weather. How does one stay this cold...this frozen in eighty degree weather? What was she?

The young man quietly sat down next to her, grasping her icy, shaking fingers into his warm and steady palms. "Why so cold?" He continued watching the teen, noting the nervous glimpse in her eyes.

Eventually she pursed her lips, swiftly pulling her hands away and into her pocket. "Don't just touch me like that." With those words, she picked up her pencil from where it had been thrown, and pointedly resumed the homework.

The man couldn't help but smile. Why was she so cute? From the childish pout of her full lips to the strange way she slurred her J's._(2) _Why was she so familiar? Where could he have seen her first?

"How does one get purple eyes?" The question slipped from his lips without his permission. He'd been pondering for a while now... with no definite answer. The young man bit his lip. Would she answer?

He watched the teenager intently as her eyes flickered sadly. She pursed her lips once more, then turned and face him with a somber glare. Was that a 'back off' glare? He bit back the urge to smile at her cute frown once more.

"Birth defect."

Ah. But did that even makes sense? Could one seriously get purple eyes from a defect? What kind of defect? "How's that possible?"

Curiosity consumed him. Now he wanted to know everything. Because he too had strange eyes...eyes that caused him a lot of pain and suffering over the years. Did she suffer as well? Was that the reason behind the perpetual glint of sorrow he witnessed every time her eyes landed on his?

The teen smirked and turned back to her math book. "You know, curiosity killed the cat."

"And satisfaction brought him back." He couldn't help but grin when she laughed. Such a cute laugh. He continued watching the girl's face, eyes noting the dimples on her cheeks. Such cute dimples! Why was she so cute?

"That comeback deserves and answer. My mother overdosed on pain medicine when she found out she was pregnant." The mirthful look on her face slowly faded, replaced by a grave and somber look.

"Why?"

"You know, you ask too many questions." By now a frustrated tone replaced the nonchalant one. The girl's hands clenched the pencil in a vise-like grip. He could tell she was clenching her jaw with irritation.

Perhaps he'd overstepped his boundaries?

Curiosity was a bad thing. He knew this well; his mother warned him of his incessant need to know the truth. She prophesied one day, saying something along the lines of 'curiosity leading him down a dark path.' Was that it? Or maybe it was the part she mumbled about insanity and confinement. At the time he scoffed at her words, thinking she was merely joking. It wasn't until he had stolen the suit that he realized the truth.

Curiosity _did_ lead him down the path of darkness...he wouldn't have been blacklisted if he'd never stepped into that abandoned building with his friends. And if he hadn't had been blacklisted, he wouldn't be a thief now, stealing and delivering information in the name of forgiveness.

Was this part of his punishment? It couldn't be. How could someone as innocent as this girl lead to insanity and confinement? He just couldn't see the correlation.

He bit his lip. "Forgive me."

"It's ok. For some reason, I don't really mind telling you." The pencil slipped from her shaking fingers and clattered onto the table. She drew in a shaky breath, trying to quell the shaking of her fingers.

"Truth is...I am what one would call a rape child. I was never wanted..." Her voice trailed off and a sorrowful, haunted look entered her violet orbs.

So this was the truth? This was the reason behind the sorrow in her eyes? The man bit his lip, the dull ache in his chest growing stronger. He felt the pain within her...it seemed to wrap around him, seemed to stifle and suffocate him.

But was it her pain? Or his own?

He couldn't tell anymore.

Now it was his hands that trembled, his eyes that filled with sadness. Silently, the man pulled the purple eyed girl into his arms. "It's all right, Princess. It's all right."

* * *

**How was it? Please review!**

**(1) Chop Waltz is the official name of the Chopsticks song.**

**(2) Think of the slur as a soft 'j' sound…almost like a shush sound. I know it's weird but since Raven is from another dimension, I thought it proper for her to have an accent…a faint one though.**

**This chapter was inspired by**

**1) Forever by Drake, Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Eminem**

**~ heartless16**


	6. Chapter 6

***This chapter, along with the previous ones has been revamped. So it would be helpful to read from the beginning...just to get the full picture.  
Chapter 6 **

**Disclaimer: look at Chapter 1  
**

* * *

_Why does love always feel like a battlefield? (1)_

Derek frowned. Why was that song _still _in his head? What did his cousin do to him last night? How could he have been so stupid to agree to be the lab rat for a magic show? The man shuddered, still remembering the taste of the 'magic potion' she forced him to drink. Then she hypnotized him...why did it have to work?

A sigh escaped down turned full lips as the young man entered the crowded bookstore. Behind him, the chatter of people and the rush of the water fountain filled his ears. Such a noisy place.

Why was he even at the mall, again? Oh, right…to pick up something for the neighbors. Why couldn't they get the book themselves? Wasn't this a waste of his time? There were plans tonight...plans involving theft and espionage.

His boss was quite the workaholic, and it seemed like every week there was some new gadget or jewelry to steal. Seriously, couldn't the jewels wait? At least until he had a vacation? Derek turned, prepared to leave the store when someone caught his eye.

Wasn't that Adrianna? He watched the teenager enter the store, making a bee-line for back section with a determined look plastered on her face. The man continued watched as Adrianna scanned the shelves till she reached the top. Could she reach that high? Derek wasn't too convinced. Perhaps he should help?

Shrugging, the man headed over towards the aisle, his eyebrow raising slightly at Adrianna's attempt to climb the bookshelf. Derek chuckled as he selected the book with one hand and caught the teenager when she stumbled.

"Easy there, Princess." He watched with a smile as Adrianna whirled around, a soft blush spreading across her pale face. Why was she so...so pretty? Why were her eyes so captivating and her lips so...soft and plump?

Why was his heart fluttering like this? What was with the butterflies in his stomach?

"It seems we always meet like this." Adrianna spoke, her eyes nervously lowered and fingers clutching tightly to a black leather bag. She looked back up and smiled softly. "We've only met three times...and I feel like were close friends. Strange, huh?"

Derek bit his lip, trying to quell his pounding heart. "Strange? Maybe. Perhaps it's fate?" He smiled, eyes now glossing over the troublesome book. "I didn't know you were into romance. You always seemed the action and thriller type."

The teenager blushed again, seemingly more embarrassed than before. "I-It's for a friend."

A sly look crossed Derek's face. "Sure it is." He winked, then laughed at the look of astonishment on the girl's face. Placing the book into Adrianna's hands, the man turned to leave the bookstore.

"Um, Derek? Why do you have glasses on indoors?"

The man was silent. What was he to say? Should he lie and make up some silly illness like they always do in the movies? Or was he supposed to tell the truth...tell her that he was a paranoid man who hated the color of his eyes?

Tell her that he hid them because he hated the stares, the looks of wonder and intrigue? Tell her that because he's a wanted thief, he couldn't afford to let people see his weird colored eyes, lest they unravel his identity?

Derek scoffed inwardly. Ah, what a fucked up life he lived.

He was surprised when she softly touched his arm. He marveled at the warm sensation spreading up his arms like wildfire. Derek softly closed his hand over her soft, slender fingers.

Such warm fingers.

So unlike his cold and frozen hands.

Derek said nothing, letting the girl pull of his darkly shaded Desiel frames and stare intently into his face. Somehow, that nervousness wasn't there. Somehow, all he felt was a strange calmness...a quiet serenity. The feeling as if nothing could go wrong. When was the last time he felt that way?

"You have such pretty eyes."

That voice. That soft, shy and innocent voice. Why was he feeling like this? The shivers that ran up his spine. The goosebumps rising on his chilled flesh. His hands rose without permission, fingers aching to stroke the pale grayish skin.

He couldn't take control of his hands. Couldn't pull away. His hands caressed the girl's childish face wantonly, while his lips softly brushed against warm, supple cheeks. The tantalizing scent of peaches and lavender filled his nostrils, clouding his mind further.

It was familiar, this scent. Everything about this girl was familiar. The softly rounded face, those startling purple eyes, and now this. Where had he seen her before? Derek's mind swirled with questions and broken images.

A night at the bar...the taxi ride. Violet eyes filled with sorrow, cheeks tinged with intoxication. A strange gray mirror, that hauntingly beautiful face...and the full moon. Wait, full moon?

Mirror?

Derek pulled away, golden eyes now wide with realization. So this was the girl? The one who owned the mirror? The titan with the bottle of pills? The one whose silent tears still haunted his dreams?

The young man smirked inwardly. What a small world. Of all the people to run into, he ran into a titan? Perhaps their meeting wasn't so random after all. Perhaps his identity wasn't so secret after all.

No.

Impossible.

His criminal record consisted of nothing but a masked picture. No fingerprints, nothing traceable could be found in any crime scene he got involved with. His shoes didn't leave footprints, His suit had been revamped. Ripping or tearing the suit was near impossible. This was simply a coincidence...It had to be.

Derek smiled at the teenager. "I'm late. Maybe we'll meet again?" Swiftly, he planted a soft kiss on the girl's forehead, trying not to be swayed by the pretty look of confusion of the girl's face.

"Raven, who was that you were talking to?"

The slight rasp of Robin's voice entered Derek's ears. What a coincidence. The man turned to leave, trying to hide the amused smirk on his face. So her name was Raven?

Raven.

Such an unusual name. Filled with mystery and teeming with an odd sense of darkness. Why a raven? She certainly didn't come off as dark and foreboding...on the contrary, she was bright and cheerful. Almost like sunshine.

If anything she should have been called Dove or Nightingale... maybe even Robin?

No, not Robin.

Robin already took that name. Derek frowned, his mind still obsessing over the strange name. Such a sweet and innocent looking girl...being named after a bird of death? What was her mother thinking?

Perhaps there was more to the girl than met the eye. Why else would she have called herself Adrianna? (2)

* * *

Regret.

Everyone at some point in their life had these feelings.

Terra knew all about regret...it had become her closest friend. She knew everything, how regret filled you with sadness and despair. How it clouded the bright, sunny skies and chilled the warm afternoon sun.

Yes, Terra had seen all these things. So when the earth bender glimpsed the face of the sorceress one warm and pleasant evening, she knew that something was terribly wrong.

That expression on Raven's unblemished face... was as if staring back at a mirror. The unforgettable visage of guilt, the desperate crave for repentance and the futile yearning to erase the past glimmered unmistakably in Raven's distraught face.

Terra knew that face well… that image she saw staring back at her through the mirror almost everyday of her life… the face of regret. The geomacer continued to gaze at Raven, her cornflower blue eyes carefully cautious. Should she say something? Wasn't it her duty as a friend to help?

To offer a shoulder to cry upon and an ear to all her problems?

Didn't she at least owe the sorceress that much? Terra wouldn't be alive without Raven. She placed her hand delicately on Raven's shoulder. But would Raven even listen to what she had to say?

Their relationship was strange to the earth bender... some days the two were inseparable, spending long afternoons burying each other in mounds of sand at the beach... or just idly reading. Then there were other days when it seemed like Raven didn't exist.

Perhaps that's what happens when one comes back from the dead. Friendly ties get loosed. Then again, even when she was alive...the two were not really close. It was obvious to the young teen that back then, Raven hated her with a passion.

Or maybe it was just suspicion. It was hard to tell. "Raven, I know what you're going through… just don't hang on to these feelings ok?"

Raven's harsh glare made Terra almost flinch. "Who do you think you are! To have the nerve to even imply that you know what I'm going through?" She harshly jerked Terra's wrist from her shoulder but stopped suddenly. Faintly visible on Terra's slightly suntanned wrist were a peculiar pattern of scars. _Familiar scars…_

The sorceress paled, her eyes widening slightly, somehow full of recognition and understanding. "T-Terra, what-…why?"

The blonde titan bit her lip, her cornflower blue eyes glittering with remorse and frustration. Really, having a conversation with Raven could be so tiring! If confronted about anything, she would immediately turn the tables, leaving you on the defensive with a headache and the irresistible urge to lash out.

The most annoying part of it was that Raven didn't even do it on purpose!

Just like she was doing now...suddenly, Terra was on the spotlight and Raven didn't even look smug. What was up with that? Terra yanked her hand away, suppressing the urge to scream. "This isn't about me! Just promise to think things through…really think. And not to hang on to those feelings…promise me."

Raven stared at Terra for what seemed like a long moment, her eyes suddenly growing sorrowful. "It was Slade, yes?"

Terra's eyes clouded and she looked at the floor, trying to hold back the tears. Slade. The only name that could sent fear up her spine and make her heart flutter with longing.

Those feelings, the emotions surged up within the earth bender, leaving her vision blurred and her chest heaving for breath. Forbidden feelings...feelings of lust, of passion and of love.

Yes, Terra felt all these things and more. The yearning ache for his strong and sturdy arms, the tingling itch to hear his deep sophisticated and suave voice, and the silent cry to gaze into his stormy grey eye. All these years had not changed her feelings...no, perhaps in those silent times they grew even stronger.

"It's not what you think...what happened was my fault entirely. I was the one who started the whole thing...he did so much for me and at the time I thought it was the least I could do..." Her voice trailed off and she choked back a sob.

"Looking back, I realize that giving myself to him...only dragged me further into the darkness." Wiping her eyes, she leaned against the walls, arms wrapped protectively against her chest.

"I know how strange this sounds...but I did love him...and in a twisted way, Slade loved me too."

She wasn't expecting Raven to pull her into an embrace. "It doesn't sound strange at all. I've felt that way about someone...quite some time ago. Someone who showed me kindness, made me feel wanted, trapped me with his love...and then betrayed me."

Terra wasn't expecting Raven to break down. To crumple to the floor, as if she'd lost the will to live. To hear someone cry like this...was heartbreaking. What was she bottling up inside? What could the sorceress have been hiding all this while?

"Raven. Don't hold it in. Tell me, I'll listen. I'll understand."

A broken laugh escaped cracked, dry lips. "Understand? You, understand? How could you? How could you understand falling in love with someone...someone you couldn't have? I go through all this trouble to set him free...all this time, the effort. I thought we'd be happy together...I really did."

Terra's blue eyes glittered with recognition. "The man with long white hair and ice blue eyes?" The man who reminded her of Slade? Terra couldn't believe her eyes, when she first laid glimpse on the man's beautiful long hair.

Blonde-almost-white hair.

Young-almost-old hair.

He preferred the former. After all, Slade couldn't age...neither could he die. Perhaps in a sense, he was young, yet almost old. Perhaps he was trapped in the past and present. And haunted by the future.

Raven nodded wearily. "I'm tired, Terra. I don't want to be this way. Always making mistakes...always falling in love with the wrong people. I tried so hard not to fall in love again. I really did. Do you know what it's like? To watch someone suffer for your senseless actions? To destroy a person's life...just because you couldn't control your emotions? Do you!"

The earth bender sucked in a painful breath. How could the two of them be so...alike?

"Yes, Raven. I know very well. Why else would I have run away from home? My brother would still be alive...had I more control on my emotions. It took me a while to come to terms with myself. You should do the same. You have to forgive yourself first. Don't get trapped by the regret."

"It might kill you in the end."

**oOoOo**

Robin sat at his desk with his face buried in his hands. How long had he been sitting here, trying to make sense of what he had just witnessed. His eyes were bloodshot; clearly the Boy Wonder was deprived of sleep. In the distance the quiet chime of the clock reminded the teenager that it was past midnight. A sigh escaped his tensed body.

What was he going to do?

He thought of suspending her…after all she violated an extremely crucial order. One he didn't put into place. It was a just punishment and she brought upon herself. So he shouldn't feel guilty...shouldn't feel like he betrayed anyone.

But, Robin couldn't bring himself to do that...he couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt, a sense of betrayal. Wasn't she his friend? How could he turn her in without remorse?

She was a vital part to the team and suspending her wouldn't accomplish anything in the long run. It might even destroy the team. The Boy Wonder sighed and tilted his chair to stare at the ceiling. Why was Raven always getting herself into these issues…always finding ways to slip past the rules?

Perhaps he wasn't hard enough.

Robin hated having to punish her…it was stupid, idiotic and yet something out of his control. Did Raven know? Probably. Why else would she purposely aggravate him, test his patience and dare him to see how long it would take before he snapped?

Robin always felt like a fool when she did these things. Always felt inferior after falling for her baited actions. She was simply too cunning, too conniving and hard to control. It wasn't like he couldn't ignore her antics...he knew that if he ignored them, she would probably stop. But things weren't that simple. His life would be so much easier were his anger not a loaded time bomb.

He tried everything, from counting in his head, to those stupid breathing exercises. Nothing worked. In the end, he'd snap, say some spiteful words and stare into those beautiful, empty, purple eyes, eyes that remained blank and impassive ...feigning innocence, her pretty face betraying no emotions.

He hated that blank and emotionless face. Why was she always so calm? Why did she have to be so composed in everything? Why did those dammed eyes always leave him flustered and confused?

Yes, Robin hated the sorceress.

He despised her with every fiber in his being. He couldn't stand her smug voice, the irritating habit she had of tossing her thick, wavy hair in defiance, that cute way her small nose scrunched in disgust. He abhorred the way her brow raised in amusement, and the childish dimples of her cheeks when she smiled and laughed.

Robin hated her alluring beauty, felt malice when he gazed upon that pale, flawless face. And her eyes? He hated those the most. She had such...such strange and menacing eyes. So haunting and always empty...void of emotion and depth.

Eyes that belittled, taunted, challenged every fiber of his being. Eyes that would dare and provoke him to anger, only to stare back with amusement and a sickening innocence. Why was Raven so...so confusing? Why was she so mysterious, crafty and hard to understand?

Why was she everything Starfire wasn't?

A strained laugh escaped dry cracked lips. Why was he always comparing the two? Isn't it said that 'out of hate comes love'?

Robin wasn't sure if such a saying held water. It would be hard to generalize every hate-relationship into one over-quoted saying. There had to be some exceptions. Just because he hated Raven, didn't mean he loved her...did it? After all, he had Starfire.

But was 'having Stafire' the same thing as loving her? Did he even have the right to call himself Starfire's boyfriend? Especially after how he betrayed her?

Ah, screw it. Why was he even thinking about all this now?

The Boy Wonder sat up in his chair a determined look hidden behind his mask. Why was he even worrying about this? He glanced over at the small clock on a varnished oak nightstand, it was two o'clock. He didn't need to lose sleep over the matter. The solution was simple.

Wasn't he the leader, after all? He didn't need to beat around the bush or sneak around for evidence. A simple private talk would suffice. Yes, he'd simply take her aside and find out why she freed that dragon from the book. Whatever her personal reasons were, he could always claim that she broke the rule to bring Terra back.

In fact, telling his superiors probably didn't even need to be addressed.

Why couldn't he just punish her on his own?

She belonged to him...didn't she?

**oOoOo**

A full moon.

The night when werewolves come out to mate, when spirits roam the earth, and when vampires are forbidden from feeding. The night when Raven lost her powers.

Why did she loose them?

Raven wasn't a full demon, and periodically losing powers was the only way her physical body could mature. In about a year or so, she'd be fully matured and may never have to undergo such an inconvenience again. Should she have told the team?

Probably, but Raven didn't know what to do. It was forbidden to speak of such things. And in her case, when the threat of enemies is constant, why disclose such sensitive information? Wouldn't that by like divulging a team secret, or even disclosing Robin's true identity?

Saying anything would be an abomination. It simply couldn't be done.

"Robin, I shouldn't be here." Raven mumbled as they two rode along side the T-car across town. In her side vision, the sorceress saw the nice and modern downtown buildings slowly disappearing, the run-down and disheveled buildings of the notorious East Side coming into view.

A look of disgust covered the half-demon's features. Why were these abandoned buildings simply left here to crumble? Didn't the mayor know that if he built a shopping complex and maybe a few apartments in this area, tourism would increase ten-fold? Didn't he understand that no one wants to enter into a city and immediately be faced with disrepair and gloom?

"It'll be fine just stick with me." Robin's confident voice broke Raven's thoughts. He sounded so sure of himself…she wanted to believe him but she couldn't.

Something bad was going to happen.

She could feel it...could taste the disaster in the air. Jinx did say bad things always happened in threes. First was freeing Malchior from the book and having sex with him, second was having sex with Gabe and summarily destroying his freedom.

What would this third disaster be? Raven didn't want to find out. But what could she do? Robin made it clear that she was to stay beside him at all times...a punishment for releasing Malchior.

Perhaps dwelling on her troubles wasn't a good idea. If she didn't focus on the bad, everything would turn out fine, wouldn't it? There was no point getting distracted was there?

Then why did she sense this feeling of terror? Why was she feeling like tonight was...the end? Were these feelings even her own? Raven did not wait to find out, but slipped off...toward that abandoned parking garage.

Raven bit her lip nervously as her boots clunked heavily against the cement flooring. She needed to pick up her feet. It wouldn't do to alert whoever was in this garage. Violet eyes squinted into the darkness, this was one disadvantage she had in a humanoid form. Her night vision sucked.

Wait!

Voices!

So people were here after all...but why? Raven pondered this question as she followed the sounds, her sensitive ears picking up the sound of sniffling. Was someone crying? Who would be crying in such a place? Maybe a lost kid?

Raven rounded the corner and gasped in astonishment.

There, cowering in the moonlight, was a young girl with wavy hair that seemed to glisten in the moonlight. The sorceress noted the brown eyes glowing with raw terror and the odd, bright yellow tank top that was so...out of place in the dusty and dark building. She was barefoot, and her hands were bound...what was going on?

The teenager also spotted a man with piercing blue eyes counting out money silently, fingers rapidly rustling the wad of bills as he counted. Such greed. Raven felt sick. These people were not an ordinary gang, these were traffickers!

Did Robin know about this? Or was this yet another crime ring connected to Him. That man had his deceitful fingers into everything, from drugs to weapons to human victims. Who could count the atrocities that man committed under his roof?

Raven had witnessed it, she was a victim herself. She was the only thing holding that man back from death. Only...now he haunted her too. Was this girl going to be a part of his schemes? Raven couldn't just sit here and watch yet another innocent soul be dragged down to living hell, all in the name of pleasure and money.

Wait!

Something isn't right…there was someone else here…why did she sense a fourth person? Was it Red X? It was way out of his league; from the little information gathered he seemed to steal only to survive…but trafficking? Raven pursed her lips, deciding that for now, Red X wasn't the main threat now. She needed to save that girl.

But how? Should she alert the others? No, the T-comm would only give away her position. Raven focused on the tense sene before her, only to draw back and gasp in fright.

That man had a weapon..the man with the dark hood! And his hand was on the trigger! Didn't he know if his hand slipped that girl would die? Why was he being so careless with a loaded weapon?

The sorceress cringed as the hooded man began to shout and curse, his booming voice filling the abandoned garage and echoing horribly in Raven's sensitive ears. What to do...what to do? Should she step out there somehow create enough of a distraction to let the girl escape? Call for Robin?

The half-demon's brows furrowed in anxiety, and her fingers shook violently. Damn it all. What was the point of cowering here doing nothing? She was a Titan, whether she had powers or not...there was a duty to protect, to keep the innocent from harm.

"Let the girl go." Such a surprisingly fearless voice! Raven bit her lip as she stepped out of the shadows, hoping her eyes and hands didn't betray any emotions. It wouldn't do to appear frightened. Her own glare darkened as she stared into a pair of intense blue eyes.

In the back of her mind, Raven couldn't shake the sensation of familiarity. Somehow, she knew these colors...that intense blue, the deep forest green orbs of the hooded man, and the bright yellow.

A strong sense of deja vu... almost like she saw them in a dream.

**oOoOo**

That voice.

Adrianna's voice.

Red X watched in astonishment as the teen walked into the eeire glow of the moonlight. The familiar fading black streaks in her purple hair stared back at him, as if to reaffirm his doubts. Wait, not Adrianna but Raven. So the others must be close behind?

How did they know he'd be here? Perhaps Robin really was trailing him all this time? Sending that girl and now somehow finding out about this rendezvous point...something that he didn't even know about till this afternoon? Who could have told them?

"Release her. Take me instead."

The thief paled at Raven's words. What was she doing? Didn't she know how dangerous that was? The man continued to eye the scene before him with a strange sense of horror, as he heard the man with the revolver begin to cackle.

His hands clenched in anxiety, what was he supposed to do? This wasn't what was supposed to happen. The Titans weren't supposed to know about this place...Raven wasn't supposed to know they were in this garage. Shouldn't she be in the hotel across the street with the others? Why was she here?

Red X winced as a sickening thud echoed in the empty garage. He watched in agony as Raven fell to the floor, her face bruised from the man's heavy hands. Mercilessly, the man began to kick and punch the poor defenseless girl; the agonizing sounds haunting the elusive thief. What was he supposed to do?

He had his mission, had specific orders...he couldn't break the rules. Was he just supposed to bear it, then? Stifle his guilty conscience and watch an innocent soul suffer? Why do these things always happen to him?

"Stop. Don't kill the girl. I won't get paid if she's dead." The man with ice blue eyes spoke casually, pocketing the wad of bills into the folds of his dark colored trench coat. The man spoke once more, his tone coming off as annoyed and irritable. "Tie her up and notify Agent M twenty-one."

Wait, M twenty- Damn it!

Frantically, Red X dug out the small, disposable, mobile phone he'd been given for the mission. His gloved fingers shook as he tried to switch off the device. Wait, didn't his boss say the phone couldn't be turned off? That there was some kind of tracking device on it?

Fuck! He had no choice. Swiftly, the thief slammed the phone against the cement pillar, crushing the device with his hands. All eyes turned to his hiding place. Shrouded in the dark, Red X bit his lip anxiously. If there was ever a time to run, now would be it. Just take the girl and run...don't look back.

Just run.

Just...suddenly Raven broke free, calling out to the other girl to flee.

From his hiding place, the man could see everything; the confused stare in the girl's eyes, the way the moon light illuminated Raven's terrified eyes, and the look of pure malice in the strange green eyes of the hooded man. He saw how that man's hand lingered on that gun, thick gloved fingers sliding dangerously against the trigger as he once more threw the titan to the ground.

Slowly, Red X took a few steps forward, panning the room for the man with blue eyes. Where did he go? Was he chasing after the girl?

What should he do now? Sneak off and look for Blue Eyes; the mastermind behind many of the strange occurrences in California? The man pursed his lips thoughtfully, perhaps he should wait till everything calmed down. It wouldn't do to let Raven know he was here. She might radio the other Titans and screw up the plan.

Hell, he'd fucked up already. No need making things worse.

That's what he thought...until the blast of that revolver echoed in his ears.

Only then did he notice how...human Raven seemed. Why didn't he notice it before? How could be have missed the dark black energy, the glowing white eyes and the abnormal calmness? Why didn't he realize that the terrified eyes, trembling limbs and painful shrieks, simply didn't add up?

Why wasn't she using her powers? Could it possibly have anything to do with the abnormal amount of spirits roaming the streets tonight? Were her powers influenced by the moon as well?

Red X dashed out from the darkened corner, heart clenching in fear as the second shot went off. He watched in agony as the bullet ripped through the teen's shoulder, sending the girl to the floor with a haunting moan.

In the eerie glow of the moon light, Raven lifted her head slightly, purple eyes glowing with a strange defiance. Red X froze in his tracks, unable to breathe. All he could do was stare, eyes fixated on the pale white skin, dark, matted tresses and blood red lips.

He couldn't move, couldn't tear his eyes away from her intense gaze. Why? What was this? His heart began to throb once more, hands felt clammy with anxiety, face felt heated and uncomfortable.

Why was he feeling this way?

A cold dread washed over him as he watched the hooded man raise the gun once more. Behind the mask, eyes widened with fear. No.

"No!"

He lunged for the man frantically, ignoring the pain as their bodies collided. The deafening sound of the shot echoed in the thief's ears, only to be replaced soon after by stifling silence. In the distance, the sound of sirens echoed into the night. The thief took several shallow breaths, desperately trying to grasp on to his sanity.

Hands shaking violently, the man turned, forced to face the consequences of his actions. Tears stung his eyes and blurred his vision...he couldn't bear it. What had he done?

A strangled cry escaped his throat, and his eyes squeezed shut, Raven's lifeless violet eyes still staring back at him in accusation.

_What have I done?_

**oOoOo**

Blood.

Why was she smelling blood?

Starfire pursed her lips, hands still securing the silver cuffs to the wrists of a criminal. Was anyone hurt? Certainly not this man, he gave in without protest. And Robin wouldn't use such excessive force, to the point where one could taste it. So where?

Police sirens blared in the distance, alerting the titans that the police force would soon take over. This assignment a rather strange one. Why would the police force send them here, to deal with low life gang-bangers and drug dealers, when they were going to take over anyway? Why was Robin so...antsy about the whole mission, as if Red X would appear?

Was this simply a cover up? Maybe the police didn't want to deal with someone as dangerous as Red X?

Cyborg made his way over to Robin, forehead creased in concern. "Have you seen Raven? She was supposed to be with you."

Robin stood and ran his hands through his spiky black hair. He seemed pissed as well. Wasn't Raven supposed to be 'with him at all times'? Where did she go?

Starfire bit her lip, eyes staring across the street to the abandoned parking garage. That place...didn't she hear something like gunshots a while ago? Were her ears truly being deceiving? The teenager wrung her hands nervously, trying to drown the panic rising in her throat.

Something was terribly wrong. There was no reason for Raven to disappear, no reason for the scent of blood to be this pungent and concentrated. Perhaps someone died? Starfire spoke quickly, hoping her voice didn't sound frazzled or frightened. "There is a garage of parking across this place. Perhaps we should look there?"

Robin nodded. "I'll wait till the police arrive. You two go on ahead." His voice was calm, reserved, and stoic. Starfire knew better. The Boy Wonder was pissed. He tried not to show it, but there was no mistaking the clenched jaw, the tense arms and tightly set lips.

"Jesus Christ!"

The alien whirled around at the outburst from the cybernetic. Emerald green eyes gazed in disbelief as Red X staggered out from the corner, a lifeless body in his hands.

Raven's lifeless body.

Starfire's knees shook violently. "Wh-what happened?" Blood was everywhere...smeared on the thief's dark colored suit and pooling at his feet. So much blood..."What have you done!" Starfire continued to watch the scene unfolding intently, noting the jerky movements the uncontrollable shaking of the thief's hands. Somehow, the man seemed terrified.

Afraid.

But why?

With hesitant footsteps, Starfire made her way to the villain. Her eyes creased in confusion as the man slowly backed away, his blood soaked hands still shaking like leaves in the wind. Most villains didn't show emotion. Most villains were nonchalant, calm and uncaring. Why was he any different?

Why was he so human?

"Don't run. I-I just want to thank you...for at least bringing her body back. Now she can be buried with honor."

Red X stopped in his backtracking. In the stunned silence, the alien could hear the labored wheezing of the thief. Perhaps he too had been injured? "Could it be you are in pain? Maybe we can treat your injuries? As payback...for bringing Raven back to us?"

"S-sh-she's not d-dead."

"What? Then why-what happened? Tell me now!" Starfire's green eyes flashed with anger. Who does this man think he is? To dare attack Raven and then bring her back in such a state? Didn't he have any shame? wasn't he fearful of the god's wrath?

"I'll tell you...I'll tell you everything. Just let me see her once she's stable. Just let me make sure she's OK."

Starfire turned towards Robin, emerald eyes taking in the rage that now bubbled to the surface. Was that even allowed in the code? Was the enemy allowed to ask for such privileges? The alien glanced back at the thief with begrudging respect.

The man sure knew how to play his cards skillfully. Robin needed whatever info he had...in order to file a full report with the police. And with Raven being injured, the mayor needed to be notified. It was standard protocol. But how would a villain figure that out?

Robin nodded reluctantly. "Then we call a truce. Just until she's stable."

Starfire watched as the man seemed to sag with relief. Then he left as silently as he came, leaving only a puddle of Raven's blood in his wake .

* * *

*** Special thanks to ****Turq****uoise Blue 14 and IsabellaRoth for their reviews.**

**Sorry if it's too long. A lot of info went into this... :)**

**Footnotes in the chapter.**

(1) A line in the song Battlefield by Jordin Sparks. Derek's cousin often tortures him using pop songs about love.

(2) The name Adriana, means dark. I only modified the spelling. As for why Derek would know such a thing, is beyond me. Even I don't understand him sometimes. The man has an eerie sense of perception.

~heartless16


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer:** Look at Chapter 1

* * *

Silence.

The main room was filled with a deafening silence.

Starfire blinked and heaved a tired sigh, emerald eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. The alien glanced up, eyes falling on the man sitting oh so casually on the couch. Such nonchalance.

How could one sit so casually when a human being was across the hall fighting for her life? Shouldn't he be pacing the floors? He was the one responsible for Raven's condition. How dare he act with such disrespect!

The alien turned away, licking her lips thirstily. Why was she set on guard duty? Why did she forget to bring along a water bottle? Why did she have so side with his logic? Why didn't she just say no to his crazy plan?

He wanted to see if Raven would live...in exchange for information and amnesty. And to be honest, his request was reasonable...Robin couldn't close the mission briefing until he found out anyway. And without any explanation of Raven's accident...the city council might decline to send a paycheck.

A paycheck they desperately needed.

And because of that stupid paycheck, and Red X's brilliant observation, Starfire was stuck watching him while slowly dying of dehyration. Really, it was enough to make a person insane!

When the teenager turned and saw Red X standing idly by the door, his feet poised as if to slip out of the room, her jade green eyes flashed. "Robin says I am to keep and eye on you."

He chuckled. "Does he really think you can stop me?"

What a question? Why on earth would Robin expect such a thing...when in every fight Red X managed to glue her to the wall with his disgusting sticky weapons? "No he does not. But rest assured, if you try any thing funny, you will regret it."

The masked villain laughed, the strange sound seeming alarmingly human to the alien. "We'll see. So who's the blond chick?"

"She is a new member on the team."

"Ah."

Starfire tried to stifle the astonishment from glimmering on her face. Red X and Robin were strangely alike. Both did that 'ah' thing and even his laugh (without the voice distorter) sounded alike. Of course Red X was slightly taller, more muscled and perhaps much older than Robin.

She doubted he could even be called a teenager.

Could he be in his twenties or even thirties? Maybe he was alien...from another planet of course. Stafire could always distinguish between her people and the humans. Or one of those supernatural beings from Raven's creepy books.

"Star?" Beastboy's unusually somber voice broke her train of thoughts. "Cy says Raven's stable. You can come see her if you want."

She turned toward the thief and smiled slightly, an image of a Red X wraith in her mind.

"Come."

**oOoOo**

"All through the night, I had her hooked on life support. It makes no sense, it's like as soon as the sun rose, she started healing herself." Cyborg's voice, tainted with a tired confusion drifted out into the halls.

"Will she be able to heal herself completely?" Robin questioned, doing nothing to hide the worry and anxiety in his voice.

"I don't think so, she seems to be healing the flesh wounds but the bone might take a while. I'll have to get several MRI tests. The only thing I'm really worried about is brain damage."

"But shouldn't she be able to heal that?"

"Dunno. If Raven's healing powers had kicked in immediately, the only thing we'd have to worry about... maybe a concussion. Her powers didn't trigger for several hours… it's like she lost them."

"How long do you think it will take her to recover?"

"I'm not sure. I might need to have a neurologist see the damage."

"Is it that bad?"

"Sadly, yes. It was a head shot at close range. The bullet would have gone straight through if Red X hadn't been there." There was a stagnant pause in the air, punctuated only by the sound of the beeping IV drip.

The cybernetic resumed speaking, this time with his attention mostly directed towards a small desktop computer. "When she wakes up...she's not gonna be the same anymore. She will have lost some parts of memory, blindness is extremely likely..." The man's voice trailed off and the sound of the keyboard filled the air.

Starfire stepped silently into the room, noting that the noisy footsteps of Red X had ceased. Perhaps he felt guilty? Maybe what he heard finally knocked some seriousness into his mind? The alien nibbled on her bottom lip, unsure of whether to announce her presence. Robin seemed pretty wound up, and she was afraid of 'pissing him off'.

But what about Red X? He couldn't stay here forever... Perhaps this was one of those times when 'one must take control of the situation'? Isn't that what a leader would do? Isn't this what Galfore would want, to see that she was capable of taking control and heeding his well given advice?

Starfire nodded. She should take control of the situation...her noble status dictated it. " Red X. As promised, you may see Raven." She ushered him into the med-ward, trying to ignore the feeling of Robin's cold glare. Jade green eyes remained passive and indifferent as the alien led Red X across the room, towards the cot Raven now occupied.

Starfire could sense the building tension of the room. She could feel Robin's angry stare, see the suspicion painted on Beastboy's face and watch as Cyborg's shoulders stiffened with every tap of the thief's shoes across the spotless linoleum floor.

Everyone seemed on edge, even Terra, who had paused her silent weeping to watch the scene, wringing her slender hands with a nervous gesture. The alien knew that the reactions from her teammates were expected...she understood that.

It was Red X who put a confused frown upon her face.

Somehow, watching as he hesitantly stepped up to the bed, Starfire got the sense that the thief felt guilty for what happened. If his mask were removed, what would she see?

Tears?

Lips that were cracked from constant gnawing?

Bloodshot eyes?

Brows that creased in worry?

What would she see? Starfire said nothing as the man took in Raven's pained face, shrouded by the strange blue aura. She could see his trembling hands from their place behind his back. 22He was obviously shaken by what transpired...but why? Wasn't he a thief and a villain?

Shouldn't he be immune to such things? How could a thief feel emotions such as guilt and sadness?

How could a villain be so...so human?

The alien continued to stare in awe as the man gently reached out, brushing the fading black-purple strands from her flushed, bandaged face. Slender, black-gloved fingers softly traced the contours of Raven's face, a gesture that seemed so full of love to the alien.

Why did his actions come off as so caring and loving? Surely a villain couldn't love? No, this man couldn't love Raven...it wasn't possible.

It was wrong.

But Raven's reaction said otherwise. Her creased brows relaxed, a sigh of relief escaped from her lips. She looked...content, peaceful. As if this man was the key to her happiness...the key to completion.

What was this?

Who was this man?

* * *

"She is quite amazing, this little lass. To have the ability to heal any injury…it's almost like being immortal!"

"So is she completely healed then?"

"Oh no-far from it. The MRI scans still showed some broken bone in her collarbone and skull. However once that heals she will be back to normal."

"So she can use her powers again."

It had been almost a month...and Raven was still in a trance. The cybernetic knew they were out of the clear, that there was no more immediate threat on his friend's life...but the fact that she was not awake yet nagged his mind constantly.

It had taken a while, but he figured out exactly why her powers did not respond that night. Somehow, her powers were influenced by the moon...though she never had such problems before.

Then again...she was going through this 'phase' of some sorts. He restless behavior startled him when he noticed; Raven was usually the calm composed type. He didn't want to seem like he was breathing down her shoulder, so he merely offered a listening ear to her troubles.

And eventually she did talk, telling him rather troubling things. He had known for some time about the incident with Robin, but he was completely clueless to the fact that they continued meeting. He didn't even know that the two had been fighting rather fiercely lately.

Perhaps the two of them together caused more harm than good.

"Well not immediately. I suspect that she may have some difficulty for a few months." Dr. Beckham spoke, head buried in a black notebook. The sound of frantic scribbling filled the air.

This Dr. Beckham was something of a fanatic, with a strong affinity to the supernatural. He loved learning more about extra-terrestrials and other 'meta-humans'. As a result, he was appointed head of the STAR Labs facility in California.

"How long is a few months and what kind of difficulty we talking about?" Robin muttered, his tone clipped and threatening. Cyborg glared at him from across the room. Why was Robin so...difficult at times? So, because no one told him the doctor was coming, he gets to act like an annoying child?

"I would estimate about two to three months…depending on the amount of rest she gets. And as for the difficulty, Raven would probably experience some paralysis in her left side…only temporarily. She may experience temporary vision loss and amnesia as well."

"Is she going to forget everything?"

"Oh no, just secondary things like places she's been, acquaintances, information of no significant importance and relationships she's been in."

"Now, Dr Beckett-"

"Dr. Beckham."

"Whatever. Isn't there anything you can do to speed up the recovery process?"

The man ran his hands through his hair, destroying the perfectly gelled locks. "Well no. That would take a considerable amount of research. Besides you pointed out, quite vehemently I might add, that she stay here. Mr. Robin, Mr. Cyborg, it has been a pleasure meeting you." The doctor flashed a pleased grin, dark eyes glowing with an ecstatic light.

"Likewise." The malicious tone in Robin's voice was not lost in the doctors ears.

Cyborg watched as the man blinked several times, his face blank and questioning. The doctor was no fool. He could sense the hostility from the masked titan. Cyborg only hoped the doctor would chalk it up to anxiety and stress.

"I do hope you change your mind about her recovering here. I know a few doctors at STAR Labs who would love to get a chance to study her unique physiology."

Everyone froze when Raven screamed.

Cyborg paled. "You know what happened doctor! Why did you have to say that?"

The doctor was visibly shaking. "I had no idea she could hear me!"

"Well you'd better leave now. "I won't be responsible for sending you back in a body bag." Cyborg intoned, watching as Dr. Beckham scrambled for his briefcase and darted out the room. "Robin, you leave as well."

The cybernetic began to scramble around the room, searching for the sedative. He could still sense Robin behind him, no doubt staring in confusion at the whole situation. "Seriously Robin, leave. I'll call you back in when Raven's calm again."

"Rae-"

The confused whisper of Robin's voice silenced the half-demon's cry. Cyborg turned swiftly, sensing the stifling demonic anger in the air. He flinched unconsciously as the sorceress tore the wires and tubes from her skin, and drove her fist through the monitor, silencing the screaming alarms.

"Raven!"

"Robin, stay away fro-" The words died in his throat as the sorceress gripped the Boy Wonder's wrist and flung him effortlessly across the room. The man flinched again as the sound of books cascaded down from the bookshelf and clattered to the floor. Robin's groan of pain filled the cybernetic's ears.

Pursing his lips, the man stepped up to the rampaging demon and injected the thick dark liquid. His brown eye stared intently as her empty black eyes slowly returned to normal. A sigh escaped his lips.

Raven was stable now, and Robin probably wants an explanation.

**oOoOo**

"Now you are aware that when Raven first came to earth she ended up in Gotham City right?"

Robin pursed his lips thoughtfully, gloved hands silently tapping the table top. "Yea, she did mention something like that."

"Ok. I'm not sure of the details but somehow Bruce found her and when he did, she was in bad condition. After having her injuries treated, they went to a STAR LABS research facility somewhere in Quebec. Bruce knew she was not human but he wanted to be sure what exactly she was and Raven wouldn't tell him."

"Why Canada?"

"I don't know. Anyway, apparently, when he arrived, some of the Justice League was there as well…to detain her. Things got even worse when Zatanna tried to read Raven's mind and couldn't. Of course, this caused a scuffle between the two and Raven was arrested and locked up in one of the examination rooms."

Cyborg paused, his eye trained on the Boy Wonder's stoic face. Bruce didn't tell him any of this? The cybernetic leaned forward on the sofa, fingers gripping the mug of coffee. In the quiet study, footsteps outside echoed faintly. The overhead clock continued it's steady ticking. The steps paused, then faded away.

Cyborg spoke again, his voice several notches lower than before. "The Justice League would have released her if Zatanna had not revealed that she was a demon and should be 'put down'. The researchers at the facility were appalled. Of course, they wanted her alive…to study her 'rare' physiology."

"So, they wanted her so they could run experiments. Where was Batman in all this?"

"He was trying to persuade the Justice league she was harmless…but the researchers took matters into their own hands. Some people say that she was cooperative and agreed to be 'treated.' Others believed the doctors there tricked her. The plan was to place Raven in stasis and erase her memories. It's easier to manipulate someone who doesn't know who they are. Thing is…normal anesthetics don't work well on Raven…they only induce a deep sleep."

"She heard them." Robin's lips turned down in a frown, voice tinged with suppressed anger.

"Yes, and when she couldn't wake up, she panicked and lost control of her demon side. Raven killed every single person in that facility. It was closed down a month later and all evidence destroyed."

"Evidence?" Robin's voice took on a tone of worry and anxiety.

"Security tapes caught the whole thing."

"Wow…how was Batman able to stop her?"

"No one knows. The few Justice League members that tried to stop her were badly wounded but only because they got in her way. Some said that Batman called out to her and she stopped. I guess since he was the only one nice to her and believed she was a good person, Rae listened to him."

"Does Raven remember any of it?"

"No…but her demon side does, which is why you should never mention anything about that place to her…especially when she's asleep or sedated."

**oOoOo**

"What's up guys!" Beastboy's excited voice wafted into the room as he bounded in and dived onto the couch, startling Starfire and making Raven grimace in pain.

"Beastboy, you're way too old and heavy to be jumping on the couch." Raven reprimanded, a slight twinkle in her eyes.

The young man grinned. "Guess what! Someone donated an X-Box 360...and I call first dibs."

The sorceress frowned slightly. "We already have one. And it cost a pretty hefty sum as I recall." Her eyes and face dropped sadly. "We could have put that money towards the college fund."

The shape-shifter groaned. "College! Isn't twelve years of school enough?" He slumped to the floor, no doubt imagining heavy books, stuffy classrooms and boring, monotone teachers."

Raven sighed. "We can't be titans forever BB. And when that day comes...we need to be prepared. Or would you rather end up as 'the human zoo' from Star's future?"

The young man grimaced. Raven wasn't gonna let up on this college thing anytime soon. For the past few weeks, it was all she went on about. Maybe it had to do with her accident...or with the fact that her powers hadn't returned yet. Whatever the reason, suddenly she had appointed herself advisor of their fates. And to his utter horror, Robin agreed whole heartedly.

Sighing, Beastboy snatched the remote from Starfire's idle hands, and began his own surfing of the TV. Maybe he should go into the show business. After he made a couple million, he'd retire in style. No school and no degree. Of course he'd still help the others out...it wouldn't be right for him to hog his wealth.

Perhaps he'd set up a trust fund...or even invest his earnings. That way, all the titans could benefit from his dough and Raven's crazy scheme. Yep, that's exactly what he'd do...now if only there were people hiring...

"Beastboy, is there anything interesting on HBO?" Starfire's lazy voice cut across the comforting silence.

Shaking his head, the shape shifter continued his absent scrolling, becoming more and more irritated at Raven's prodding foot against his head. Was she trying to be funny? "Rae, stop with the foot thing."

She giggled insanely but apologized. "Hey BB, where's CY, Terra and Robin?"

He frowned. "Cy and Terra were having this heart to heart about something. And Robin went to file our taxes."

"I have never understood this concept of 'taxes'. Why must the government take what we rightfully earn? And what do they do with it?" Starfire questioned, with an innocent tone. It was a harmless question...but Beastboy didn't feel like answering. He didn't really understand either. To him, taxes were just another part of life.

Raven probably shouldn't answer either. A sarcastic quip from her would just leave the poor alien feeling more confused. "Star, ask Robin. Cause I don't get it either. Do any of you want ice cream?"

"Not yet. Raven, tell me about your friend Gabe." Beastboy turned, watching Starfire's eyes twinkle deviously and Raven's pale face flush. Who was this Gabe person?

"How do you know about Gabe, Star?" Raven sounded pretty pissed.

"Um...well, Robin told me...I had to question him something awful, when you two came back from your little escapade. He said he was your 'boyfriend'. Was he? Or was he a 'friend with benefits'."

Beastboy balked at his red haired teammate. Since when did she know about such things. What had happened to the innocent naive alien they befriended a couple years back? The answer was simple, really. Society had corrupted her...much to Beastboy's dismay.

"He's not a boyfriend...not really anyway. We were supposed to stay friends. I don't know if he even wants that anymore." The hollow feeling of regret and remorse penetrated the air with her words. It was enough to make the shape shifter cringe.

"Have you even talked to him, Rae?"

"No, not really. We talked on the phone...I haven't gotten to see him yet...Robin still won't let me leave the Tower."

Starfire patted her head gently. "Raven, if Gabe was happy when you spoke, then you have been forgiven. Only you can answer that. Now on to more pressing matters...what about Malchior?"

The TV remote clattered to the floor. "Malchior...You let him out of the book. AGAIN!"

"BB, don't make it such a big deal. Besides I've already been punished...I don't need you disapproval as well." Raven intoned, a slightly nonchalant haughtiness, coating her words.

The shapeshifter was astounded. "Perhaps you've forgotten what he did to you. You came to my room crying...for weeks after what he did to you. And what, all of a sudden things are peachy? Makes me wonder if there was some kind of catch."

The sorceress' sullen violet eyes stared into her friend's green, passionately angry orbs. "There was no catch...I let him out because of you. It was...exhausting seeing you mope every Valentines day."

"Don't make this about me Raven! You always try and break the rules, but you never take any responsibility! You sneak around at night doing God know what and, oh, your emotions are out of wack. Why can't you just admit that everything you do is to benefit yourself?"

Raven herself was silent, staring blankly out the window...and not on Beastboy, whose previous rant had caused him to lose track of the ESPN channel number. The screen continued to scroll aimlessly, each one showing one ironic image after the other.

Beastboy stared at the sorceress, waiting for a reply. His green eyes flashed with annoyance, and fingers gripped the remote tightly. What was she going to say this time? How was she going to turn the tables around this time? The purple haired titan was known for her sarcastic quips and her annoying penchance to 'have the last word.'

"Beastboy, is that how you really feel? You think I'm selfish?" Purple eyes glinted with a strange light. "I suppose you are right to think that. You must have felt...betrayed cause I let him go."

Beastboy's eyes widened. He opened his mouth to speak, but what could he say? Raven was right, he did feel betrayed. Malchior had broken her heart...and it was Beastboy who helped her put the pieces back together again.

Not Robin, not Cyborg. Him.

Yet she went ahead and freed the dragon, without a second thought.

Of course he deemed her selfish. Because really, why would ANYONE treat their enemy with such kindness? Raven was definitely no savior...but the least she could have done was talk to him first.

"I felt that I betrayed you as well. But Beastboy, is it right for anyone to suffer simply because they hurt someone's feelings? Was it right that he should remain trapped, because I couldn't see through his lies...because I was stupid enough to think that there was someone out there who could ever understand me?"

"Raven-"

"No, Malchior committed no crime. And therefore, he deserves freedom." Standing shakily, Raven shuffled into the kitchen, her haunting words still ringing in Beastboy's ears.

* * *

Robin sat at his desk surfing the internet pretending to be busy with files. He really did not want to see anyone now…especially Starfire. The alien had been unusually clingy for a while and it was beginning to grate on his nerves.

Pounding loud music sliced through the silence. He placed his heads in his hands and groaned. Raven was at it again. Ever since Cyborg removed the brace from her left shoulder, it seemed that all she wanted to do was dance.

It was understandable…after all she used to dance as a kid and he did understand the whole 'you have to feel the music before you can dance' but must it be so loud?

No, it didn't need to be this damn loud. There were other people in this Tower...and we didn't need to be forced to listen to Lady Gaga and that weird lady with the dollar sign name. Seriously, what is it with music these days? All this auto-tune and Justin Beiber shit.

Robin closed his eyes, another migraine settling in the back of his mind. He needed a vacation...desperately. Maybe the case in Gotham will clear his head. Though he doubted the others would agree. Raven might refuse to go...for reasons he didn't want to look into. The others would probably be willing and eager...to bad Bruce said the whole team needed to be there. Otherwise there would be no mission.

He closed off the browser and shuffled into the main room where Raven was leaning against the computer, a bored look plastered onto her pale face. She hadn't been outside in a while...and it was painfully obvious.

Contrary to popular belief, Raven could tan...it was just hard to notice. She also sunburned...at an alarmingly fast rate. Maybe he should take her to the beach one of these days...it might do her some good.

"Raven, would you mind turning the volume down...I have this really bad headache an-" She laughed. In his face.

"What's with the sweet talk. I may have gotten shot in the head..but I can take a little bashing, believe me. Besides. It was the only way to get your attention." An innocent grin spread on her face, and Robin's eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Was she purposely trying to piss him off? Cause it was working.

And he was a few seconds short of snapping and punching that innocent look from her eyes. Then again...this was Raven, if he punched her...she would no doubt break his jaw like the last time. And that shit really hurts.

"I just wanted to show you this lovely movie...that was made just for you. And yes it must be so loud!"

He shrugged, his anger ebbing into nonchalance. "Still reading people's minds?"

She smiled deviously. "No, just yours. Look at this…Kitten Moth is at it again and this time she decided to fuck with Lady Gaga's awesomeness."

"Huh?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Just watch." She pressed the play button and the loud music started up again. He was seriously considering leaving when the screen caught his eye. Clad in only white spandex, ridiculous makeup and killer stilettos, Kitten sang and choreographed her own music video as a play off Lady Gaga's Paparazzi.

Robin choked. Kitten Moth. Why was she so obsessed with him? Why would anyone want to 'fuck with Lady Gaga's awesomeness'? From what he'd seen...that was impossible. Who would wear spandex intentionally...wait scratch that. Every superhero including him.

"Just look at her… she's totally ruining the dance. The girl's too damn robotic!"

Robin raised an eyebrow. He had seen Raven dance before...and urban was the only word to describe it. Break-dancing was actually kinda cool. And Raven really pulled it off... in style. It reminded him of that movie Step Up...and the fact that he'd seen some dance crews up close in Gotham only added to his awe. "And I suppose you could pull it off?"

Raven only raised an eyebrow.

Robin smirked. It was strange to him how, in so little time, Raven could change his mood. At times she really pissed him off. But now, he was happy and content. Even his migraine didn't seem so painful. "Why are you showing me this?"

"It was in the Titan fan email thing. She addressed it under your name."

"And you looked through my mail why?"

"It's not like you ever read them…besides I was bored and you still won't let me leave the Tower."

Robin pursed his lips thoughtfully. It would be a benefit if Raven left the tower. If he sent her out for at least an hour every day, think of how much work he could accomplish. No loud annoying music! Perhaps it would be a good idea to let her leave.

Raven threw him to the floor and straddled him. "You think I didn't hear that?"

"Damn it Rae, you've gotta get off those ice-cream sandwiches."

She rose a slender eyebrow. "I'll let that comment slide. You still don't know WHY she sent it."

"Enlighten me." He really didn't give a damn. But Robin will admit...those lyrics did make him shiver. Perhaps it was because Kitten was singing them (Lady Gaga was already weird enough). Or because they didn't make any sense to him...at all.

"She's stalking you." Raven whispered in his ear in a voice that made him shiver.

Robin rolled over and pinned Raven underneath him. "You're joking."

She squirmed nervously and bit her lip... "Seriously...why do you think she picked that song. Kitten is going to follow you until you love her."

Robin stared into her lilac eyes. Robin was weak when it came to Raven's eyes. Somehow, it was so easy for him to drown in them, to be carried away by its mesmerizing shade...to forget everything but how her eyes twinkled and sparkled. Beautiful and rare...

Just like now.

"Robin, can you get off…please?"

The two picked themselves off the floor and Raven would have left were it not for the strong grip on her wrist. The violet haired teen drew in a sharp breath, face filled with confusion. A faint blush colored the sorceress' pale cheeks.

Why was she so... beautiful? Why did his knees buckle at her gaze, his hands tremble at her touch, his mind cloud with forbidden thoughts? He tried so hard to bury these emotions and move on but something always drove him back to the violet-eyed sorceress.

He knew she probably hadn't remembered, and for that reason alone, Robin needed to leave...to give her space. But he couldn't leave, not again. It aggravated him to no end. He had Starfire, she was supposed to be enough.

So why wasn't she? Why did Robin feel that he needed Raven...that as destructive as the two had been together, there was no denying the passion...passion just that wasn't there between him and Starfire.

Against his better judgment he pulled her closer, overwhelmed by his emotions while his mind protested fiercely but in vain.

"Robin-"

He planted his lips on hers, sighing as Raven melted against him. Thoughts drifted into the past, as he reveled in the peachy taste of her lips and the strangely intoxicating scent.

"Robin, please… stop. She pushed him away and closed her eyes. "This isn't right."

The Boy Wonder recoiled, as if springing away from a snake. Ice blue eyes widened behind the mask, filled with confusion and disbelief at his actions. "Damn it. Raven, I'm so sorry...I..." His voice trailed off into an awkward silence.

She bit her lip. "Don't worry about it Robin. It's not your fault alone."There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them and then Raven stood to her feet. "I'm going to meditate for a while."

Robin nodded absently his head buried between his hands. She grimaced, wanting to say something but unsure of what to say at all. As she turned to leave he called out to her. "About that…it-"

"Never happened." Raven finished for him. He smiled slightly and turned away again.

* * *

I hope this wasn't a bad chapter compared to the last one. When the main character is recovering, there is not much you can say.

So I decided to do little snippets of those few recovery months leading up to her finally getting over Robin and meeting the Red X in costume.

This chapter was inspired by

**1)** Once upon a December from the Disney movie Anastasia

**2)** Paparazzi by Lady Gaga (how I interpreted this song probably isn't what Lady Gaga meant but I love taking songs out of context…)

**3)** Crush by Davie Archuleta

I was trying to write a Robin/Raven/Slade story. I only have a chapter done so far and it revolves around pirates.

If you would like to see the first chapter tell me in a review (signed of course), I will try to email it to you.

~heartless16


	8. Chapter 8

*** When I was revising this chapter it began to take on a dark twist. Many people commented that they wanted to see more of Gabe...as well as some explanations about his relationship with Raven. So most of that is here. How is it?**

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: Look at Chapter 1**

Rain poured down the windows like silk sheets and the lightening seemed to electrify the air like static from the drying machine. Why was everything alluding to the act of laundry? Robin thought with annoyance.

Perhaps it was the smelly pile of laundry sitting outside Beastboy's room. Or maybe it was the unsightly pile of laundry hidden away in his own closet.

Probably both. But when you're a hero...laundry is the last thing you want to be doing. If it's not the villains attacking, the mayor is reviewing safety rules. If it's not any of those, you're just too damn tired to care.

Sighing heavily, Robin set out to wash his clothes, wondering why it was so quiet in the Tower. He knew Cyborg had taken the others somewhere and left him to care for Raven but still…she was not blaring Soulja Boy or whatever his name was.

"I should be rejoicing." Robin muttered. It was rather impressive how much the sorceress had recovered. She was even picking up speed in hand-to-hand combat… although it was uncanny how fast she learned. Still even with her excellent fighting skills, Raven preferred to spend her time dancing.

Unfortunately, for him this meant hours of throbbing headaches and ringing ears. The sound of roaring wind (which sounded mysteriously like the sound of the running dryer) drew him from his thoughts.

Perhaps he should look for her. She was around during the morning, and after a particularly rough training session, had promptly disappeared. Maybe it was because of what happened the other day.

The boy wonder sighed. What ever possessed him to kiss her in the first place? Her memory hadn't returned yet, that much was obvious. If it had, she wouldn't be spending as much time with him as she currently did.

So, when she remembered, he was screwed. Robin cursed his impulsive nature and the fact that everything today reminded him of laundry. Seriously, why were the gods against him today?

And where the fuck could Raven have gone?

After an hour had passed (filled with numerous thoughts and allusions to the act of laundry), Robin found the elusive girl sprawled on the floor of the roof, half-conscious and soaked to the skin.

A tired sigh escaped the Boy Wonder's lips. "Damn it Rae. You're not making this babysitting thing easy."

"Shh if you talk loudly the voice will come back." Her eyes were closed and she would have looked asleep, were it not for a strange upturn of her ruby red lips. One that undoubtedly sent shivers up his spine.

Robin stared in fascination, noting the graceful curve of her neck and the way the cold water pooled at the base of her throat. Slowly he sank to his knees, gloved hand reaching out to graze her pale skin.

As his hands drew closer, Robin could feel the burning pain intensify in his chest. His mouth dried as his shaking fingers traced the curves of Raven's red lips.

Even in the cold rain, her lips were red. Blood red...and oh so tempting. The Boy Wonder leaned forward, mind now filled with thoughts of Raven's beautiful lips. Lips that screamed to be kissed.

Lips he couldn't resist.

The gap between them closed, each inch fueling the burning pain of his chest, the clammy sensation in his hands and the strange obsession of his mind. Robin's ice blue eyes glittered with an insane light. He had to kiss her. It was the only way...the only way to get rid of these thoughts.

The only way to gain back his sanity.

Violet eyes stared blankly into Robin's ice blue orbs. Quickly, Robin scrambled back, a look of horror now plastered on his face. What was wrong with him?

"Can't you hear him?" Raven whispered as she swiftly sat up, her sudden movement making Robin jump back in fright. Her once serene face contorted into one of anger and frustration.

"He's screaming, he's angry!" Raven lunged forward, ice cold hands closed around Robin's neck. The sorceress' violet eyes glittered with a chilling insanity. "Why, Robin? Why won't he leave me alone! Tell Erik to leave me alone!"

Robin choked, her freezing hands cutting off his air supply. What was wrong with her? And who the fuck was Erik? All these questions swirled in Robin's mind but he pushed them back, now was not the time...he needed to get Raven back under control.

Desperately, the Boy Wonder clawed at the cold icy fingers fastened at his neck. She wanted to kill him...Raven was going to kill him if he didn't do something. Spots danced before his eyes and the world began to spin.

Was this really going to be the end? Was Robin to die by the hands of his mentally unstable friend?

Such an end would be none other than a disgrace. For him to leave the world like this...without the glamor of fighting, without an honorable cause, it would be nothing more than a slap in the face of all those who had trained him.

Numbness crept up as his vision began to darken...

**oOoOo**

Black.

There was no light. Why was there no light? The bills were paid on time, the electrician had already done her routine rounds. So why was there no light? Why was this bed so...soft and warm? Whose room was this?

Hands fluttered in front of his eyes and Robin shot up, mind kicking into hero mode. Raven tried to kill him...so who was this?

"Richard, right? Are you ok?" That voice was so familiar...especially since he knew his name.

"Gabe. Why are you here? Where's Raven?" Robin was officially confused. The last thing he remembered was dying...at least it seemed like dying. So how did he get here, why couldn't he see and how the fuck did Gabe find out anything?

A soft chuckle echoed in the darkened room. "See father, he doesn't even care about his well being. Raven is lucky yes?" _Angel?_

"You needn't worry Richard. We came because Raven was in trouble. Once she is herself again, we will leave." Why did Angel sound...so robotic? Why did Robin get the feeling that whatever Raven and Gabe did a while back was to blame for this ESP type intervention? _As if they had a bond..._

Light flooded the room, giving Robin the chance to see Raven lying unconscious on the bed beside him, Angel's small delicate hands resting on her pale flushed face. Glancing around, he finally realized they were in Raven's room, and what was Gabe doing, rummaging throughout her night stand?

Robin sat up slowly, being careful not to jostle Angel, who was now trailing her hands through the sorceress's dark locks, a content smile on her innocent face. "Gabe, I need some answers. Why and how you got here for one."

A tired smile appeared on Gabe's face as he sat down on the bed and suddenly Robin was reminded of his father.

It was something of a tradition in the Grayson household, reading stories before bed time. Robin would remember being so excited and eager to climb in bed, so his father would read to him. No matter how busy his father was...no matter how exhausted he'd look.

Somehow, Gabe looked that way now...as if he was doting on a child. It angered Robin, he was no child. He did not deserve such a look.

"Raven was in trouble, I could sense it. So we came. That is all there is."

"Why could you sense it?" Robin didn't want to pry...he really didn't. But if Raven was going to behave like a potential nut case from now on...he'd like to know all the details. Still...he didn't ask for this awkward silence.

Gabe sighed. "We have a bond, Raven and I."

So his hunch was correct after all. Somehow, this revelation didn't really make Robin happy. Praying he didn't sound sulky, Robin asked, "How did you get the bond?"

Again with the awkward silence. Finally Angel spoke, her sweet, innocent voice suddenly sounding cool and calculating. "We are vampires, Richard and Raven is a demon. When vampires associate with demons, there are consequences."

Robin bit his lip silently. "Consequences. What kind of consequences?" He really didn't mean to pry, nor did he mean to sound ignorant. But he had to know. Raven was his teammate, and his best friend. He simply couldn't settle for cryptic and vague answers. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like Gabe was willing to elaborate.

The man's eyes narrowed and his lips turned down in a threatening snarl. The dim light in the room seemed to flicker with life and the shadows on the wall moved with an eerie grace. Robin couldn't have been more put out by the movie-esque look of the room.

Still he wasn't going to back down. The Boy Wonder kept a level gaze, trying not to be intimidated by the man't fierce glare. Perhaps he came off as stubborn, or maybe it was defiant. Whatever the reason, it was obvious that Gabe was not going to tolerate shit tonight.

Suddenly the man's dark brown eyes glowed red, and his hand rose swiftly. The shadows danced menacingly as they mimicked the vampire's movements. Robin was no fool, he could sense it...the sweltering anger, the uncontrollable rage. The glowing crimson eyes, the fierce snarl, the deadly pearly white fangs.

Raven had warned him once about vampires. She had said that 'not all of them were honorable.' She told him that Gabe could be trusted...that he needn't worry about him. Then why could Robin see crimson eyes dripping with a murderous intent. Why did he get the feeling that if Raven was awake, Gabe wouldn't be making an attempt on his life?

The shadows danced across the walls again and Robin was face to face with a pair of violet eyes.

"Robin, didn't your mother ever tell you? T'was curiosity that killed the cat." The sorceress cold indifferent voice shattered Robin's heart.

Why was she defending him? _Why-_

"Robin. I defend him because it was my fault...and mine alone."

Hidden blue eyes settled on the wall ahead, taking in the still shadows. Raven's fault. Why was it her fault? Were the two not 'boyfriend and girlfriend' as he thought? Somehow, the were...and yet not allowed. And this was the consequence?

This strange bond between them...was a punishment? Weren't bonds good things? Or were vampires and demons not allowed to share such bonds? Robin said nothing as Angel shifted and tumbled into his lap. This whole time she had been so quiet...it was hard to remember she was there. Sighing, the masked titan pulled her up against his chest. "You OK?"

In the dim light, her smile seemed the only sane thing in the room. "Richard, you shouldn't anger my father with ignorant questions. He already hates you."

Figures. "Then you answer my questions."

Another smile spread on her angelic face. "Well, at the time Raven couldn't control lust. It's all your fault really. Because of you, Raven lost control of lust in the first place."

Robin opened his mouth to protest, till she cut him off with a laugh. "It's ironic, right?" Well anyway, Raven couldn't control her lust...and since Raven's a 'high rank' demon, she marked him. It's an instinct, really...and she couldn't control it. So now, we belong to Raven forever and ever."

"So that's why he has the glowing tattoo on his neck?" It was faint...but he'd noticed it just as Gabe was about to tear him to shreds. He'd only kept quiet because he wasn't sure.

At her nod, Robin sighed again. What a mess...why was Raven always in the middle of something troublesome?

* * *

_Forgive me, I see you might be confused. I suppose you may be wondering, where is Malchior? After all, he was present at the beginning of my story._

_What you must understand is how my emotions changed when my father was defeated. They were...so much more intense and I will admit that it took me quite some time to get used to the overwhelming happiness, the stifling feel of embarrassing and shame as well as the drowsy and lackadaisical sense of peace._

_Everything I felt from then on was heightened...intense and often addicting. I will admit that this is where my unusual craving for donuts originated...and my embarrassing lust for sex intensified._

_Dating Robin, without taking the time to understand my emotions...is another big regret of mine._

_It was different that in the movies...our relationship. It wasn't open or full of flowers, cheezy pick up lines and innocent outings. We could only be described as 'friends with benefits.' True, Robin was my best friend...but he was also my lover. _

_I was confused as to why I couldn't have both._

_I never asked for the 'boyfriend-girlfriend' relationship...neither did Robin. We didn't want the romance, the candle-lit dinners, the quiet walks on the beach. All we wanted was sex. _

_Yes, it does sound horrible...and I'm feeling ashamed as I tell you this._

_I suppose that being in a 'heat cycle' at the time didn't really help matters. All it did was to intensify my lustful emotions. This is where Malchior comes in. I, against all intentions, began to use Malchior simply to satiate my lustful cravings...which at the time, I had no control over._

_However, Malchior couldn't stay...I couldn't continue treating him like he was...an addicting drug. He may have not minded...but it was wrong and unfair. And this why I had to let him go. __I called it off... we 'broke up'._

_I thought I had solved a big problem and that everything would be fine after that. But I had forgotten about the young girl I saved...and her possible connection to someone I had met once in Gotham._

_When we established the Teen Titans, it was for the purpose of defeating meta-humans...who used their powers for evil. That and the impending threat of Trigon. After a while we realized that simply locking up meta-humans doesn't really solve the problem of crime. Jump City at the time, was a place riddled with gangs and dealers._

_In some of the more violent parts of the city, gang violence was an everyday occurrence. I hated that, for it reminded me of Gotham City...before the police stations turned their attention from the Joker to the mafia overlords. __We began cleaning up the streets...busting drug heists and putting an end to gang violence. _

_It was around this time that we noticed an increase in human trafficking...something that often goes unnoticed when street violence goes ignored. __That girl was a victim...I do not know how she arrived, but I had to save her...she reminded me of so many people I met on the streets of Gotham. _

_She reminded me of Erik, a man I thought I had escaped from when I ran from Gotham City. It seemed like a sign that he was looking for me once again._

_At the time, I was so intent on hiding from the man. I couldn't let him find me...and I was prepared to do anything to keep him from discovering my whereabouts. _

* * *

The sunlight brushed gently across the titan's face long before her round innocent eyes opened. Eagerly she bounced out of bed and inhaled the lovely scent of cooking pancakes. As the curtains pulled back, a smile spread across her tanned face as the light danced off the pink walls, creating a soft glow that reminded her of home and grebnax pudding.

Silkie yawned, crawling away from the light and into her closet where he burrowed into a pile of fur coats. The Tameran giggled as she watched this spectacle. Today seemed like the perfect day. The sun was shining; birds flew lazily through the sky, their chirping sounds filling the air with a sense of happiness.

It was a lovely day...the perfect sun-dress day! Perhaps Raven would wear her light blue one. They could go shopping for costume material...Raven's old leotards didn't seem to fit anymore. It was rather unfair when you think about it. Raven's chest had grown yet again. Now she was probably wearing a 'D' cup...and size seven or eight in clothing. The poor alien was still in the three's.

Raven had curves and breasts...something that Earth boys seemed to like. Starfire was what you would describe as being athletically built. She was slender and lean, with an even proportion of chest and hips. Her body type was what you would call 'boyish' or rectangular.

To the alien, having a full hourglass figure was way better than being slim and boyish.  
_  
_Still, shopping with Raven was fun...and perhaps they could even stop at the ice cream shop on the way back, Starfire mused as she stepped into the shower. It was such a good day...Raven would have to come out of her room. She has locked herself up for several days and answered no one.

The warm, gentle spray caressed Starfire's skin as she sighed softly. Almost a week had passed since she had seen her friend. Then again, she hadn't really made any effort to find out what was wrong. Starfire had been too busy feeling guilty.

Never had she felt such feelings of malice and jealously towards a friend than those few weeks Raven was injured. Robin was never around...at least it seemed that way to her. He was always with Raven, doting and pining after her.

It must have been hard, seeing his best friend injured like that... he probably felt guilty for not being there in the first place, for not watching out for her...and for not being fast enough. She knew that Robin was probably beating himself up about her injury, while she was telling him not to worry.

Did Raven feel guilty as well? Or did she feel grateful that Robin was being...so kind and affectionate. Starfire wondered all these things. After all, the two had broken up...and their friendship undoubtedly changed.

Maybe Raven was sad, for the fact that it took a near death experience to fix their stagnant friendship. Or maybe Raven was secretly happy, because now Robin had forgotten all about Starfire. It was not forgotten, what Raven had said all those months ago. The despise and hatred her friend felt at Robin's absence...perhaps it was all coming back.

Perhaps the memory Cyborg said Raven had forgotten, came rushing back...leaving Raven emotionally confused. Starfire could only wonder how it would be like to deal with resurfacing past feelings and emotions.

Still, it did not help the young teenager that she was being ignored. Being ignored was something she simply could not endure. The feeling of non-importance and loneliness that comes from being disregarded haunted her usually pleasant dreams.

Starfire sighed as she slipped on some sandals and grabbed a jacket from my closet. Perhaps today will be different. She could shop with Raven and have a good time. Maybe she'd succeed in making Robin forget about the purple haired titan for once.

**oOoOo**

The earth bender looked across the brightly lit room, a small smile on her small face. It was still hard to take in...being alive. Being able to experience all these things...riding the roller coaster, going to the club with Jinx and Raven. Feeling the thrill of crime fighting and the happiness that flooded her heart when being thanked for a good deed. She owed everything to Raven.

But now that Raven needed help...Terra bad been unable to provide. She'd been unable to help her friend...the thought weighed heavily on her heart. There must be something she could do...someway she could repay her debt.

There had been one other person that Terra looked up to...someone she adored and wanted to thank. Slade had done a lot of things for her...he helped her control her powers, gave her somewhere to live, food to eat...he gave her his love.

There was no way to repay him, Terra thought at the time. She tried to compensate...did whatever he asked her too, willingly. So when the time came for her to betray the Titans, she did so...sorrowfully but willingly.

After all, what were a few friends in comparison to stability and love?

Raven understood...that much she was certain. And despite the anger that Raven felt...Terra knew that she was the only one who could truly understand. What it meant to be given everything, and to have nothing to give in return.

Terra wanted to thank him...she wanted to do something, anything to show just how thankful she was. So, she offered herself to him...Terra gave Slade everything, she returned his love.

Raven had given her another chance as well...but Terra didn't know what to do or how to repay her. It pained the earth bender to see her friend dejectedly sitting on the couch, bingeing on donuts...and hiding her feelings from everyone.

Someday, Terra decided, I will repay Raven.

**oOoOo**

Anger.

Yes, the cybernetic was burning with anger. He had his reasons.

After all the warnings, all the admonishing...all the promising. The spiky haired bastard still had to go and mess with Raven.

Pots and pans clattered loudly through the kitchen, as Cyborg angrily prepared waffles. The salt shaker, slid roughly into their resting place, the eggs were given an untimely and swift death. Some say that food cooked angrily shouldn't be eaten. Right now, it didn't matter.

It was either Beastboy's fucking tofu or real food. He'd pick real food any day...

Another angry growl, and the waffle batter was poured swiftly into the griddle. He slammed the waffle maker closed and sighed angrily, turning to glare and Robin as he entered in. He had the audacity to look refreshed...to look happy...to say good morning.

That stupid mask of his stared indifferently at me...it's just begging to be ripped off and trashed. "What exactly is good about this morning, Robin? Look around you!"

Turning, the furious young man emptied the griddle and added more batter, waiting for a sarcastic response. The sooner he gave it...the sooner he could be tossed out the window.

"Raven's bingeing again..." His calm raspy voice only added to Cyborg's fury.

"Yes, genius. And this time it's all you damn fault!" The spatula was slammed down on the counter, and the silverware clattered in fear. If there was a time to wish you weren't breakable...now would have been it. The poor glass cups were teetering at the edge, scared away by Cyborg's rage.

Robin's mouth turned down, the stupid pleasant smile finally gone from his annoying masked face. "She...remembered."

Again with the calm indifference. "Yea, she remembered. And being the bastard that you are, YOU had to go messing around with her! Don't give me that face, I'm pissed off now as it is? I don't have time for your 'innocent surprise'!"

Biting his lip, Robin stared down at the glass in his hand. He almost looked...ashamed. It wasn't enough. He wanted the spiky haired bastard on his knees."

"I...didn't want to confuse her. I...wanted her to remember on her own." Against the sizzling of the waffle iron, Robin's words seemed whispered.

It was quite touching actually. Robin admitting a fault without hesitation or thought for himself. Too bad he still wanted him on his knees...groveling. That's what he deserves for messing around like a jackass. "I get that Robin, I really do…but you didn't leave her alone did you…DID YOU!"

Heavy hands slammed down on the counter again, and finally, the glass cups had enough. They cascaded off the counter and clattered to the floor, shards scattering everywhere. Funny how simple glass could drive the Boy Wonder to his knees.

But it did and as Robin sank to the floor, Cyborg wondered if he'd been too harsh. Seeing him on the floor, shaking fingers fumbling for glass shards...really doused some of his anger. "Look at me, Robin." He slowly lifted his head, his hands now clenched tightly while gnawing his lip anxiously.

Seems he was too harsh...must have touched a nerve. Might as well finish up the act.

"Now you listen and listen carefully. I do not want to see you ANYWHERE near Raven… unless you are on your knees BEGGING for forgiveness. Whether she decides to accept it or not isn't my problem. Do not go messing around with her AGAIN! Otherwise…."

Robin visibly winced at the unvoiced threat. Yea. He'd been way too harsh. Still. If it had been his Cyborg's mother...Robin'll be sore the rest of the week.

Turning, Cyborg carried out the plate of waffles, telling Robin to clean up the glass. Perhaps the guilt trip was a bit much?

Still, he'd done his mother proud.

**oOoOo**

Donuts.

Round circles of sugary goodness. Soft, chewy and when warm...melt-in-your-mouth heaven. Another sigh, another circle gone. A stomach filled with self hatred, hidden feelings and regrets.

Why did she believe? Why does she always trust him? Why is it that one look into his icy blue eyes...one whiff of his intoxicating scent can dissolve the barriers in her mind? Break the promises she made to herself?

All she wanted was a friend, someone to understand. Starfire couldn't understand...neither could Terra, to an extent. Robin was the least qualified. So why did she go to him? Why was her mind telling her that he was there, that he understood...that he qualified.

It all made sense and yet...she was confused. Because no one else seemed to believe it. No one else seemed to acknowledge 'them'.

The couch was comfortable...it was calming. The cushions seemed to draw her in, like her mother's hugs. Arella's warm soft chocolate smelling hugs. The teenager sighed dejectedly. No chocolate around...donuts will have to do.

She felt foolish...sitting here pouring out her sorrows to a couch and a box of Krispy Kremes. She didn't want to do this...didn't want this sickening taste of sugar in her mouth, nor the suffocating feel of the couch's embrace.

Yet, who else could understand...who else could bear her sorrows? Raven was being hunted...since the beginning she was hunted, she gave up her friend to control her stupid emotions...emotions which are to blame for Gabe and Angel's enslavement.

Who would understand? What can drown these stifling regrets?

Vodka. Just one glass...no, two. Just enough to make her forget. It was all she asked for.

She promised to give up drinking...promised to stay 'clean'. That was obviously long before her actions piled up like this.

Wait? Who says I have to honor my promise? Robin didn't honor his promise that we'd be 'together forever'.

Arella certainly didn't keep her vow to 'love me no matter what'. If Arella loved me she wouldn't have let the priests lock me in the temple...she wouldn't have let me get betrothed...or married. Erik wouldn't have turned against me...Bruce wouldn't have let me go.

No one honors a promise...no one. Promises are lies…empty and as worthless as shit. I will never believe in a promise...it's the only way to stop the bleeding...to stop the pain.

The only way to keep my heart from breaking.

* * *

**This chapter was inspired by**

**1)** Ego by Beyonce

**2)** Tattoo by Jordin Sparks

**3)** Feels like Tonight by Daughtry

**4)** Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis

Derek will be in the next chapter toward the end and perhaps somewhere in the beginning in costume.  
I want Raven to throw a tantrum and almost destroy the Tower. (not with her powers)

**Robin…I am unsure what to do with him. Suggestions please? :)**

What did you think of the other story that I posted?  
I did it a while ago but never published it cause I wasn't sure.

**Please Review!**

**~ heartless16**


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry it was so late...a lot has been going on..**

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer: **Look at chapter 1

* * *

Chilly, blustery and windy. It was strange weather...at least in this part of California. Then again, everything seemed off these days, one of them being his job. Not his undercover thief job...that one was pretty much secured.

His boss, Mr. Kent, made it clear that as long as these underground, trafficking businesses thrived, he would still be employed. Derek didn't know whether to be happy about that...working on the good side can be pretty demanding.

It was his other job. The normal eight to five desk job at his father's insurance company. The same father that had abandoned him shortly after he buried his wife. The same father that gave him a job and a house to live in simply because his older brother begged. Derek never asked for help, he didn't want his older brother looking out for him...especially since he had a family to take care of.

Plus, he kinda liked his old job...it was interesting (to him) and it gave him access to all this cool tech gear. His suit did need upgrades from time to time and Bird Boy wasn't exactly manufacturing a 4.0 version. Working at a government security firm certainly had it's perks. Call him nerdy, but Derek was obsessed with technology.

Often he was fascinated by how many new stuff he could re-create from recycled i-pods, smartphones, computers and strangely enough desk lamps. Of course most of them were borderline dangerous, and therefore illegal.

At his high school in Gotham, Derek had somehow created a laser beam from a stolen diamond and was expelled shortly afterwards for stealing and 'illegal posession of a weapon, as well as arson'. Arson being the awesome graffiti he burnt into the walls of the gymnasium. With such a criminal record...Derek would have been screwed.

Were it not for his uncanny computer and tech knowledge, he'd probably be somewhere in jail. The police dropped his charges on account that he work for a small FBI branch in Gotham City, as well as collaborate with Mr. Wayne, an influential business man in the city.

He was a good man...and when he offered to give him a scholarship, Derek readily accepted. He left and began taking classes and a small private university close to Jump City.

He was still in school around the time he stole the Red X suit. Derek could never explain what possessed him to steal it. Yes, he did have some experience in the art of theft but only as a juvenile delinquent...and not someone with the expertise to sneak past the tons of security the Titans must have placed on their tower.

The gods must have been with him that day...he was able to pull it off, without even leaving a trace. Perhaps that's when the feelings of invincibility crept up. When he put on that suit...it was like he could accomplish anything. He felt invincible, untouchable. Derek suddenly understood how it must have felt for them, those heroes with awesome powers...and the villains who were simply misunderstood.

Funny how, in such a small time, those arrogant feelings melted into a puddle of despair. Here he was, wandering through the park in the middle of the day, simply because he couldn't bear being subjected under his father's thumb.

And today was the worst day to come to the park...it was so windy and so chilly. So unlike California.

Sighing tiredly, the young man dropped onto a bench and stared at his hands. He really needed to play his guitar some more. The poor thing was just gathering dust in that empty room.

A gust of wind blew across the empty lawn, rustling the trees and, wait, was that someone crying? He glanced up, taking in the vast emptiness of the park before his eyes fell on a couple sitting several feet away from the swing set. He watched for a few seconds, marveling at how cheesy life can be.

Seeing the two there, the young woman's face covered by her shaking fingers and the man's unsuccessful attempts to calm her down, reminded him of those sappy movies his cousin loved to watch. Those ones with the handsome, dark-haired male lead and the frail, troubled teen. He hated such things...they were so unrealistic.

Must have been quite an argument, Derek mused as he slumped further on the dark, wooden bench and buried his hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket; deciding instead to watch the little kid on the playground as she twirled and danced, her silver streamers dancing to the beat of a secret tune.

She looked very similar to his thirteen year old cousin, minus the thick dark hair and tanned skin. Jessica, his cousin was a pale, freckled teenager with blond colored tresses and bright blue eyes. Everyone on his father's side was like that...even his brother had blond hair and blue eyes.

Derek, on the other hand, looked more like his mother. He was the one with the smooth, copper skin and thick, black hair; a stark contrast to his brother's looks despite their Native American background. Everything about Derek was his mother's, from the narrowed, slanting eyes, to the sharp angles of his face and the soft slope of his eyebrows.

Everything except his eyes. Derek's eyes were either a molten gold, or warm honey... depending on who you asked. His eyes were bright, nothing like his mother's dark brown eyes. And no one knew where they came from.

His mother called them a blessing from the heavens. She said the gods gave him these strange eyes for a reason. His classmates labeled him a freak...his father called him a bastard and disowned him.

Whatever reason the gods had...simply didn't seem worth it anymore. He had stopped believing them long ago. Sighing heavily, Derek looked up at the sky, astonished to see the sun finally peeking out from the clouds. Shaking his head in annoyance, he looked back across the park only to watch the young girl crumple to the floor...and not get up.

Standing quickly, he strode over to the swing set, all the while wondering where her parents were. Surely they couldn't have let her come here alone...it wasn't really safe to be alone these days.

Derek picked up the abandoned streamer, knelt down beside her and placed it into her hands. He was only slightly suprised when she raised her head, finally revealing her clouded, dark-brown eyes.

"Thank you, kind sir." The young girl spoke up, still tightly gripping onto his hand. She smiled brightly, her exuberant mood only depressing Derek even more. Seriously, why would anyone want to grow up?

Who wouldn't want to be a kid again, to have no responsibilities, to live a life where most of your troubles revolved around stolen crayons and what cartoon to watch. Growing up was seriously overrated.

Staring back down at the girl, he was surprised to see that she had crossed the park and was making a beeline for the crying couple on the bench. How she knew they were there was beyond him...especially since he knew she was blind.

Derek began to follow when she turned and beckoned insistently. Imagine his surprise when the crying woman turned out to he Raven herself...wasn't this like the third random meeting? The last time, Derek found out she was a Titan...and now this?

It took him a minute to realize that the young girl was speaking to him. "Mister...sir, um. Mister? What should I call you? How can I thank you when I do not know your name?"

He ran his hands through her dark tousled hair. "Tell you what, I'll tell you my name provided you don't call me Mister." At her enthused nod, he proceeded to tell her his name, noting with interest, the amused look on Raven's face.

He said nothing as the girl went on to introduce him to her father Gabriel, a man with dark black hair and the same colored eyes as Angel (she finally remembered to introduce herself), as well as Raven.

Funny how much she had changed in less than thirty minutes. Before she'd been weeping profusely...now her face was calm and expressionless and not a trace of sadness was in her eyes.

"You never did take me up on your offer, Raven." Derek commented, as he observed the faces of those in front of him. People were so predictable...he wasn't surprised when Raven quirked an eyebrow and Gabriel frowned softly.

"I was busy...saving people." Her voice trailed off and he watched her gently brush the faint scar above her right eyebrow. Derek couldn't help the guilt that flooded his mind.

He'd wished countless times that he'd been able to save her...that if he'd just been a little bit faster, she wouldn't have gotten hurt. The Titans weren't even supposed to be on the scene that night. Meeting them was not part of the mission briefing Mr. Wayne had given him...he was told simply to make the transaction and leave.

Everything was planned out so meticulously. But he'd abandoned his mission to stop them...to save Raven. He didn't regret his decision but Derek will admit that he hesitated...and those few seconds could have cost Raven her life. Sighing heavily, Derek looked into her blank purple eyes. "I'm glad you're ok."

She grinned. "That means a lot to me...coming from you. Thank you, Derek."

* * *

The clatter of forks and knives was supposed to be a pleasant sound. It meant that they were all together...that the team was one. Today was different. This time, the sound was overbearing, it was annoying and rather creepy.

No one was talking... until, "So friends, I was at the mall the other day and someone gave me the most wonderful gift!" Starfire finally saw fit to break the awful silence.

Beastboy looked up from his salad. "Really? What?" He truthfully didn't care. But anything was better than listening to the sound of scraping forks and Cyborg's disgusting crunching sounds. Starfire's meaningless rambling was a welcome change.

"I have in my possession several tickets to the theater! And they are valid to watch anything you like!" Perhaps not as meaningless as the shape-shifter thought. It was a good idea to get a free night out and do something...anything than be forced to do Robin's cardio training and combat simulations.

The simulations hadn't been updated in almost a year. That may or may not be a good thing...depending on who you asked. Starfire loved to be 'challenged'. Beastboy was just happy to have memorized the whole thing.

"Awesome!" Terra smiled at the enthusiastic alien. "When are we going? And what will we see?"

"Ooh, lets watch Get Him to the Greek!" The energetic voice of the shape-shifter rang out over the now warm atmosphere. The preview looked a little dumb and he would have rather wanted to see another comedy. But sometimes it takes a dumb movie to really loosen up.

Cyborg groaned slightly. "BB that was such a dumb preview…we're not gonna watch that."

"We don't all have to agree on one specific movie you know." Starfire informed the group. "Does anyone know where Raven is?"

"I'm right here." Raven entered the dining room and sat down, placing a set of silver streamers on the edge of the table.

Beastboy knew that Raven liked to dance...but he wasn't under the impression that it was streamer related...Streamers meant cheer-leading, which was gymnastic and choreography. Raven's type of dancing didn't fit that description at all.

The sorceress did more of free style dancing...which was less of gymnastics and more of step-dancing. It was something you would see in more street dancing competitions, rather than on the stage.

"Where were you?" Robin asked, unable to contain the suspicion in his voice.

Raven narrowed her kohl-rimmed eyes. "Out. Walking. Contemplating how fucked up life is", came her sarcastic reply.

"Do you always go walking out with a full made up face?" Starfire asked curiously.

"Yea, you never know who you can meet when you're out and about." Raven winked at Terra who laughed in agreement.

"So Rae, Starfire got several tickets and now we want to decide what movie to go see." Cyborg filled her in on the conversation. "Personally I would have preferred the A-Team."

Raven nodded absently and shoveled a spoonful of potatoes in her mouth.

"Terra wants to watch Sex and the City two." Beastboy told Raven and chuckled when she grimaced. He didn't blame her...those kinds of movies annoyed him too. To the green Titan, such movies had no point and couldn't even be considered comedy. Perhaps he just didn't get it.

"Splice…that's what were gonna see."

Starfire shivered. "But Raven it was so creepy and so wrong and-"

"And that's exactly why we need to see it." The edge in her tone was less subtle now and Beastboy prayed she wouldn't take her anger out on the poor alien. He'd known about her anger issues for a while now and frankly it was starting to piss him off. Why couldn't she just get over it? Why'd she have to hold everything in and make life a living hell for everyone?

Why was Raven so selfish?

Terra looked between the two, sensing the tension between them. "Maybe Star can go see something else, cause I really wanted to see Splice as well."

Beastboy sighed in exasperation. He was tired of all the tension, all the skirting around the issue and the drama. "Raven whatever you are angry about, why can't you just let it go? I'm sick of this!"

Her fist shot out toward his face and he yelped even though he was not hit. "Watch your mouth Garfield…"

"Raven! That was uncalled for!" Robin finally spoke up, his voice tinged with frustration.

Raven's eyes flashed. "Fuck off."

Starfire placed a hand on Robin's arm, clinging to him as if her life depended on it, doing nothing to hide the fear in her eyes. "Robin, it might be best to leave her alone."

"Rae, you're gonna have to calm down." Cyborg spoke reassuringly and for a while, it seemed to work. She turned away, pursing her lips, as she scraped her fork against the empty plate in front of her.

The awkward sound of scraping forks and clattering glass ware filled the air again. Somehow it seemed even more tensed and uncomfortable than before. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Beastboy's teeth were almost goners. Or it could have been the eerie tone of Raven's fork scraping heavily on her plate.

His jade green eyes watched apprehensively as her fork slid across the plate ever so slowly... his sensitive ears twitched at the frightening noise. Shivers ran up his spine as she ran her tongue slowly across the fork...her teeth looked strangely white and fanged, while her lips seemed stained with blood.

Raven always seemed so calm...so composed and serene. What if she was boiling mad inside? What if right now she was plotting our demise? Would he ever understand the mind of this young woman he called a friend?

How could you be 'best friends' with someone and not know their feelings? How could that one person know everything about you...meanwhile you know nothing? Could he really call her a friend? Raven was the queen of deception, no one could read her poker face.

No one could understand her.

"Raven, I do not know what I did to make you so angry but I-"

**SLAM!**

Raven's fist slammed against the table, silencing the room. The shape-shifter stared in horror at broken plate beneath Raven's fist. He continued to stare in disbelief as the half-demon cocked her head, raised an eyebrow and began to laugh hysterically.

"You amuse me, Starfire." Raven spoke in a chilling voice, her hands fingering the blunt end of the butter knife. "You don't know what you did wrong? Everything! I can't stand you! You and that self-righteous, pompous attitude! Ugh, I fucking hate you! You-you think you're so innocent, so cute and so perfect! Everyone should just do what you say, right? Cause you're such an angel?"

Starfire was sobbing now. "Forgive me please-"

"Don't! Don't apologize. Why bother? It's not like you mean it. Ugh, you're so pitiful! You cry and you weep and you wail, is someone supposed to save you? Am I supposed to feel sorry, guilty?"

Raven chuckled, now staring at her blood red polish decorating her fingernails. "Shall I tell you something, Starfire? Something you should know? Something that Robin-"

Abruptly, Robin stood, fists gripping the table edge. "Raven! Don't you dare say another word!" The Boy Wonder was livid, that much was certain.

What was Raven going to say? Why was Robin so angry? Was Raven trying to blackmail him? Or was she simply trying to provoke the alien? The shape-shifter stared at Raven's face, shocked to see a look of glee. Her violet eyes glinted with a malicious light, while slender white fingers continued stroking the knife.

What was wrong with Raven?

The sorceress laughed mirthfully. "Robin, I taste it...that fear of yours. But, isn't it right that she should know? After all, you wouldn't want her to hear it accidentally?"

"I swear to god, if you say anything...I'll...I'll kill you myself!" Robin snarled, lips set in determination.

"Oh. Kill me, he says." With lightening speed, Raven crossed the room and pinned the Boy Wonder against the wall. "Is that how it is. You'll carry this guilt to the grave?"

The sorceress voice lowered to a menacing whisper. "Robin. I don't take kindly to threats. Maybe you'll die, but I won't. It is not my fate to die by your hands...what about you? Will you die, tonight?" Raven laughed, the butter knife flashing in her hands.

Beastboy watched the scene before him as the cybernetic jumped up and pulled the sorceress away from Robin, desperately trying to pry the utensil from her cold iron grip. He could hear Starfire's hysterical weeping, see Terra's eyes rounded in fright, the trembling in Robin's knees and the glitter of the knife as it reflected off the lights.

The shape-shifter gasped as Raven released the knife and could only stare in horror as the launched forward, aimed at Robin's head. A sickening thud echoed through out the room. Starfire screamed in terror.

The doors blew shut, Raven's hysterical laughter no longer audible. Robin slumped to the floor, breathless and visibly shaking. Beastboy stared at the knife, now jutting out from the wall.

Robin was lucky...very lucky.

Beastboy gulped, trying to calm his racing heart. Raven normally wouldn't have missed that shot. Seeing her practice with real daggers was quite the horror to behold. It was as if she were Deadshot, the assassin who 'never misses'. Every target hit it's mark...even when blindfolded.

At times be believed she was relying on her powers but...dummies aren't alive. They don't have minds to read or heartbeats to listen to. They didn't even have any recognizable scent. He couldn't understand how her skills worked.

Robin must have known this as well...he was playing with his life. Had Cyborg not intervened...Raven would have killed him.

Without regret.

**oOoOo**

The sky was empty, except for a scant tracing of clouds that raced through the light sky...as if they were racing a marathon. One cloud rushed by...another followed. Robin watched them with envy.

What would it be like to be a cloud? To flow with the wind...to move without any hesitations, limitations or obstacles barring your way?

To be free? The Titan leader understood, he was the last one to be speaking about freedom. After all, he was the one deemed 'most human' by the team. A simple change of clothes could release him from any duties and obligations to the team...permanently.

But he wouldn't really be free...not when he'd be riddled with the guilt of abandoning his friends. And Robin couldn't deal with guilt. No, it was best he remain and carry out the duty that fate had assigned. Being like the clouds would have to wait...at least until he made peace with his friend.

The Boy Wonder sat against the wall several feet away from Raven…he felt her anger through their bond and it pained him greatly. As strange as this sounded, feeling her anger was like sitting outside in the snow...slowly freezing over.

Her anger was not boiling rage or heated wrath. It was an icy disappointment, and a chilling displeasure. Her anger had always felt this way...except for the fact that he was nearly killed.

Robin was beside himself with guilt...he hated what he had done, he despised himself for his uncalled for , he did not believe that they warranted death.

The Boy Wonder was beginning to think that the sorceress was losing control...it made him wary and uneasy. But Cyborg promised that he would be by the door if anything went wrong so here he was watching the clouds pass by over head…waiting for Raven to talk.

It seemed like an hour had passed before her whispered voice shattered his depressing thoughts. "You know Robin, you broke my heart in Tokyo."

"I-I did?" He didn't like the emptiness in her voice.

"Yes…you told everyone you loved Starfire…but night after night it was ME you came to. ME who you told your deepest secrets…ME who chased away your nightmares…ME who you betrayed in the end."

"Raven I-"

"Do not speak when I am talking. Sometimes I wonder why you chose Starfire. She doesn't know you like I did. She doesn't understand you like I did. But I think I understand now. You thought I would get over it…after all I'm Raven. I am not supposed to have emotions… I am supposed to be detached.

She paused, her voice lowering even more. "I do not feel."

"Ra-" What was she saying? Robin never thought of her that way, never. Raven was someone who, despite all appearances, was able to sense and understand exactly what people felt. She was the only one who understood exactly how he felt, when Slade had blackmailed him...she understood what prompted him to create the Red X suit.

Raven understood a lot more than people gave her credit. At times, Robin often wondered if Raven truly suppressed her emotions because of her powers...or because of her uncanny sense to read people's feelings. Perhaps her emotions acted out of hand because of those around her...

"I said don't talk. Why do you think that I have no feelings, Robin? Is it because I can control them? Because my powers couldn't allow me to experience emotions like you? But Richard, am I not human as you are?"

Raven laughed dryly. "Am I not more of a human that Starfire will ever be? Or is it because I am not fully a human like you. Do you think that because I am a half breed, I can never fit in? That I can never truly understand?"

"Raven, that's not why…please, look at me Rae, you know I would never think of you that way." He had always thought of her as his equal...Robin harbored no prejudices or biases toward anyone. Never in his mind did he think of her as the 'half-demon' or 'half-breed' in his mind. She was simply Raven.

She turned and faced him and from beneath her hood he spotted four glowing eyes. Eyes filled with malice, anger and blood lust. Robin staggered back, wondering if he should call Cyborg.

As he opened his mouth, her dark sinister voice intoned, "I'm not going to hurt you. Violence won't solve anything. Besides, if I kill you now, I'll have no witness. You don't think Starfire will simply...believe everything that comes out of my mouth, do you? Better to keep you alive and make you suffer."

Such ironic words...and just the day before he nearly met his untimely end. "I'm really sorry I put you through all this." As if sorry could fix his actions. Sorry was not enough...if it was why were there laws, and why were there police?

"I know you are…but it was partly my fault too. I couldn't get over you…I was addicted." Robin bit his lip. Yes, she did say something about that…

_"I could tell by your footsteps…and your scent." Breathy, embarrassed and anticipating. Raven's cheeks tinged red, her hands nervously clasped in her lap, blank purple eyes downcast. _

_"So what does Starfire smell like?"_

_"She has a very strong nauseating fruity scent. I cannot endure it for long." It did make sense that Starfire would smell this way...he couldn't count how many trips the alien had made to Bath and Body Works, simply to stock up on their sale items. Raven wrinkled her petite nose as she spoke, an innocent look on her beautiful flushed face. _

_"And Beastboy?"_

_ Her rosebud lips curved gently. "I like the way he smells…almost like a clean puppy smell." Raven began to smile, her hands running over a worn quilt.__ "He never really likes it when I tell him. BB thinks I smell like peaches."_

_"Peaches?"_

_She wrinkled her nose once more. "Yea…I don't even like peaches."_

_"What about Cy and Terra?"_

_"Terra has an earthy smell…I guess that's expected. Cy, to me smells like new car leather."_

_"New car leather?"_

_"Yea…it's such an awesome scent!"_

_"What about me?"_

_Raven blushed and bit her lip. "Do you truly want to know?" _

_Funny how Raven's face could portray so many emotions. Just a few minutes ago, she was all smiles and grins. Now, her cheeks flushed a light pink, and the nervous finger resting against her bottom lip was... distractingly seductive. _

_"Sure."  
_  
_She crawled slowly towards him and rested her hand lightly on Robin's face. __He shivered as she whispered in his ear. "You, have a musky scent almost like cologne and-" Her hands trailed down his smooth face and neck. "sex. _

_"Sometimes I can…taste it…and it's so intoxicating…and addicting." _

_Shivers crawled slowly up his spine as her soft hands ghosted down his face. It caught him off guard and Robin couldn't help himself as he pulled her forward and planted his lips against hers. __Raven's breath hitched and the quilt that nestled comfortably on her lap was curled between her fists. _

_Robin deepened the kiss, letting her taste fill his mouth..._

"…because of that I didn't really listen to reason. I knew it was wrong. And so, I ask for forgiveness." Her speech was strangely cold and formal, like a student talking to a teacher.

"Rae, you're already forgiven. We can still be friends right?"

Raven turned to look at him, her violet eyes filled with skepticism. "Friends. Let me ask you, Robin. Have we ever been friends? Or was I simply a toy, something you could play with at your own convenience?"

"Raven you know I never thought of you like that."

"But it's true isn't it? Because Starfire never slept with you…you came to me. And I was stupid enough to allow it."

Robin bit his lip. Everything she said was essentially true… Raven was his best friend… with benefits. At the time it seemed like no big deal…but it was wrong and the fact that he kept it from Star made it even worse.

He bit his lip, eyes roaming the rooftop. He never wanted a real relationship with Raven...he wasn't asking for flowers, candle-lit dinners, or romantic walks on the beach. All he wanted was...sex. Something Starfire wouldn't give.

But it was wrong, what he did with Raven that night...he took advantage of her. Took advantage of her emotions...he caused her to loose control. and he kept going back. Like a depraved fool, he kept on repeating his mistakes, thinking everything was under control. That Raven wouldn't say anything. That Starfire would never find out.

Why was he so selfish?

To even think of controlling Raven like that? As if she would just follow his lead? Robin laughed inwardly. No one told Raven what to do...he should have known that. He should have anticipated that Raven would eventually grow tired of their escapades...that she'll rebel.

He should have known that nothing would stop her from spilling that secret when she wanted. If he wanted her to remain silent...he'd simply have to do what she wants. "We'll just be friends…nothing more. I swear."

"Swear on you're parents grave, Robin."

Well, everything but that. Robin stared into his lap. "Rae you know I can't do that…I won't do that."

She looked at him for a long moment. "I believe you and yes I will be your friend...you were there for me when no one else was. But you must promise to only be my friend...nothing more.

Robin nodded and gave her a hug. "Cy bought some donuts…lets go before they disappear."

"Actually, I should go apologize to Starfire first...but save me one."

* * *

The cold dark liquid raised goose bumps on Raven's skin and she fought back a shiver. It was important to keep still…even if the brush tickled like hell. The radio resting against the wall blared loudly, drowning any noise she might have heard elsewhere on the rooftop.

Methodically she dipped the brush in the small flat plate and continued painting the intricate swirling pattern on her legs. It would be over soon…then perhaps she could color it in?

Red would be a nice color…red seemed to complement her strange colored skin even better now. Perhaps she could look for a dark hue of red…like crimson or scarlet. Maybe the deepest blood red. It didn't matter what she did…as long as it made her happy.

"_So what if it hurts me, so what if I break down, so what if this world just throws me off the edge, my feet run off the ground. _

_I've gotta find my pace, I wanna hear my sound…_

_Don't care bout all the pain in front of me cause I'm just trying to be happy."_

"You know if the hero gig doesn't work out…you could make a hell of a lot of money singing."

Raven jumped, the brush flew from her hands, and the pan nearly toppled over."Fuck." Well at least the pan is safe. The sorceress reached out, moving the pan to the side. Purple eyes roamed the rooftop, searching for the elusive brush. Where did it go?

"Here."

Raven glanced back at the thief, widening her eyes at the paintbrush resting in his fingertips. She felt strange...somehow safe. It was absurd. How could one feel safe in the presence of their enemy?

Then again, hadn't he saved her...risked everything to make sure she was safe? Who wouldn't feel safe in the proximity of someone like that? Raven smiled. "Thank you. But, why are you here?"

"Is that any way to treat your savior?" His voice sounded mirthful and light. Raven wondered if he was smiling behind his mask.

What did it look like? The smile of Red X. Was it mischievous? Wide and carefree? A handsome smirk? Raven shook her head. It wouldn't do to start dwelling on the subject. He was a thief, and she was a titan. Such a friendship was...not allowed. She walked slowly to him and held out her hand, hoping she came off as professional and cool. "I am in your debt."

He shook the half-demon's hand cautiously. "So, what's with the paint?"

"It's called henna. Where I come from it symbolizes maturity and grace. You're not supposed to decorate your whole body but I was bored… seriously why are you here?" Raven questioned, more irritated with herself than the man. Why was she so...talkative? Why did she feel so comfortable and normal?

"I haven't seen you since you were unconscious…then you were all over TV, giving interviews blind. I was...curious." Red X leaned against the wall, arms crossed nonchalantly.

Raven stared at him for a long time. She was grateful to him for saving her but…shouldn't that have been the end of his interest? Why was he still hanging around? Of what benefit would it be to satisfy his curiosity?

The thief tilted his head. "Did you really cover your _whole_ body with that paint?" The mask did nothing to hide the obvious curiosity in his voice...nor did it cover up the slightly over eager tone.

"Yea...and no you may not see it." Raven smiled curtly, hoping he got the message.

"Wasn't asking sweetheart, but if you're offering...it would be rude of me to refuse." Red X laughed softly.

She glared at him, trying to ignore the way his abs were outlined on his suit. Robin never looked that muscled when he wore the suit. How old was Red X?

It was obvious that he couldn't be a teenager...but if he was an adult...how old of an adult? Early twenties, late twenties...hell, he could be as old as Slade or even Bruce Wayne! Raven's rambling thoughts continued to confuse her and presently she glanced up at with an annoyed expression.

Much to her surprise, the thief casually sat down beside her and crossed his hands behind his head, as if admiring the view of the cloudy skies. Raven stared at him with shock as he lowered him self against the wall. What was he doing?

Did he not know that all she had to do was pick up the communicator and he would be trapped? Raven's purple eyes darted anxiously to the place she had discarded it. Perhaps he knew...maybe he knew that even if the communicator was in her hands she couldn't and wouldn't rat him out.

"So what's with the camp site?"

Raven scowled at the casual voice. He was the enemy...shouldn't he at least be on his guard? Why was she the one who was nervous and apprehensive? Why was she the one darting her eyes to the door way- as if waiting for an angry parent to enter at any minute? The sorceress shrugged. "Just wanted some time to think."

"Ah. And you're thinking was successful?"

A smirk briefly formed on her lips. Somehow, with those "Ah's" he sounded so much like Robin. Maybe it was simply her imagination. Raven looked down, dipping her brush into the dark liquid. "Somewhat."

"He dumped you didn't he…Robin."

Raven bit her lip…was she really that readable? Perhaps more meditation should have been added to the schedule. But could it really be considered 'being dumped'? It wasn't like the two were even in any kind of relationship. Perhaps a better term would be ' calling things off'."Something like that."

"Do you ever wonder why?"

A pale, steady hand faltered and Raven cursed inwardly. What was he getting at? Why all these personal questions? "Not really. I already know why."

"Robin never appreciated you, did he? He took you for granted… he made you feel...worthless?"

Why was Red X talking like he knew everything? Why was he right? How could one stranger pinpoint all of her frustrations like this...after all the work she had done to seal them away?

"You felt like you didn't matter…like there was no place left for you. You felt like ending everything?"

Silent tears streamed down the young woman's face and she realized, much to her horror, that her hands were shaking. She couldn't continue like this. The paint brush clattered to the floor, the dull echo making her wince in pain. _What was wrong with me? _

"I-I guess so.."

"So why didn't you end everything Raven…why haven't you given up?"

"I-I don't know…please leave." Why didn't she give up? End everything? How could she? Ending everything would be like a surrender. She would lose her place on the team, Erik would find her again...and her life would descend once more into a living hell. And who's to say he'll be as merciful as before? Didn't he kill her closest friend the last time she ran away?

What would he do this time as a punishment? Raven shivered, trapped in her memories of the past. Gloved hands covered her own and slowly Raven was pulled up from the floor. The sorceress looked away, not wanting her enemy to see her tears.

It was so embarrassing how she could just sit here and cry like a child...

"Raven, look at me." The leather glove felt unusually warm as he cupped her chin. Raven closed her eyes and inhaled swiftly as those warm, leather-clad hands softly brushed the tears from her face.

Raven's mind whirled. "Why are you doing this?" She questioned, not really expecting an answer.

"Princess, you are worth more than all the jewels money can buy. Don't ever forget that."

Raven watched transfixed as he stepped off the roof, gave a salute and faded into the background. A smile spread on her face as his deep, familiar voice echoed in her ears.

She had heard that voice somewhere before. The voice behind his mask...his real voice. Everything about him was strangely familiar...the funny accent, the chiseled frame, the musky scent, the way he called her 'princess'.

Why couldn't she remember?

Suddenly she looked down, noticing the cold chain that dangled from her fingertips. Raven lifted up the chain, a grin spreading on her pale face. It was a necklace...a small, simple looking necklace. At first thought one might think it to be a good luck charm...but to her it was more.

Not everyone knew the language of flowers...not everyone knew the symbol of the Azalea. So how did Red X know?* Raven picked up the fallen brush, and finally resumed her painting...a soft smile on her lips, and a new necklace dangling from her neck.

* * *

* All flowers have a meaning. The Azalea flower means 'take care of yourself for me'. In China it is the symbol of womanhood.

Seriously people…I NEED Reviews.

I feel like I'm losing the touch.

Please tell me what you think. Say everything on your mind. Ask questions…I like answering them. It helps me plan my thoughts.  
Tell me what I need more of and less of…..criticize my writing or give me props… I don't want to have to do the whole 6 reviews thing but soon I will.

This chapter was inspired by  
1) Unbeautiful by Leslie Roy

2) Happy by Leona Lewis


	10. Chapter 10

**This chapter was revised...not as drastically as the last few...I didn't cut out as much as I did before. I hope it's better. Please critique for me!**

**Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: Look at chapter 1**

**~The song lyrics listed in this story is from Green Day's Wake Me up When September Ends. I do not own it.  
**

* * *

Starfire sat completing her home schooling work, ear buds plugged into the small radio that usually sat on the counter. Everyone seemed so sluggish today. Raven was still upstairs when usually she was the first one down, Robin was 'reading' the newspaper…the alien knew better.

Cyborg was sitting on the couch repairing something on the TV, and Beastboy was nowhere to be seen. The alien should have been grateful for the silence it was calming and soothing compared to all the drama from a few weeks ago.

Everyone had apologized and were on speaking terms...they even ended up taking that trip to the movies, finally deciding to choose one movie. It had been fun. This silence should have been lovely...it should have been bliss. And yet, the alien could not enjoy it...she could not help but feel that something else was lurking, that another calamity would befall the team.

A sigh escaped her small puckered lips as the young woman pushed a strand of fiery red hair from her face and began to write furiously. There was a test that she and Beastboy had to take, a strange exam called 'The Stanford Achievement Test'. According to Cyborg and Robin, if they didn't pass...the city wouldn't give them their diplomas, and force them to start attending school.

To be honest, Starfire would have loved to attend the high school...to be able to experience all of the stuff she saw in those movies and television shows was a dream of hers. A 'Degrassi like school probably did exist in Jump City...Why didn't Raven have to take the exam...she wasn't eighteen was she? Perhaps Robin already made her do the test and she passed? Gosh, why was there so many stuff about Raven that she didn't even know?

Starfire set down her pencil in frustration, before leaning back in her chair and staring blankly out the window. Raven had not been acting 'herself' lately. For the past few weeks Raven's strange sickness had been getting worse...it was even beginning to interfere with her life in a very... debilitating manner.

Just the other day, Starfire had found the sorceress half drowned in the swimming pool-to this day she couldn't erase the image from her mind. Raven had also sworn her to secrecy...it was something that "no one else must know."

It killed her to hide something so important...then again, wasn't she hiding something even worse already? Wasn't she trying desperately to hide her terrible sin? To keep Robin from finding out about her despicable actions?

Her bright emerald eyes drifted slowly to where Robin sat, his head slowly drooping behind the newspaper. His guise. Between that and his mask...it would be impossible for anyone to know of his tiredness. No one would see the bags under his eyes...or the bloodshot redness that comes from staring at computer screens all night.

What was so important that he had to ignore her? What in that investigation/criminal/obsession room was so important that it would cause someone to forget about their 'only love'?

Why was she not enough for Robin?

A 'ding' echoed in the silent room and Starfire turned, noticing Raven and Terra emerge, deep in a conversation about ripped jeans and fishnets. The Tameranian shook her head. Seriously, who would wear fishnets?

Except for the strange depressing gothic people she usually saw hanging out at the seedy coffee shops, and the eccentric celebrities, no one really seemed to wear them. Ripped jeans were so much better...of course Raven didn't share that view.

"Fishnets? No, if I were to wear fishnets…I would probably have on a corset, leggings and a miniskirt." Raven's voice trailed off and she continued mumbling...unaware of the confused glances from her friends. It was becoming a normal occurrence...Raven's mumbling. Often she would start a conversation or make a statement, only to trail off and begin mumbling, often in several different languages.

"Hm, I guess. I had no idea you had a tattoo." Terra mused out loud, when Raven finally turned back towards her, a cup of juice in one hand and a handful of granola bars in the other.

The sorceress' expression darkened. "Oh. Sometimes I forget it's there."

"Did I say something wrong?" The earth bender questioned, not really wanting to get on anyone's bad side. Everyone had been treading lightly ever since Raven lost her cool. It was as if she was a time bomb or an unstable machine, and everyone was waiting for her to malfunction or explode again.

"No…I just don't really like remembering how I got it." Her mouth twisted into a strange smirk and she waved at Robin, who was probably awake and listening to them for about five minutes.

Starfire found this odd. Why would you have an unhappy memory about a tattoo? Aren't tattoo's a symbol of "independence and pride"? These rebellious American teenagers seemed to think so.

Had it been on Tameran, such rebellion would be met with fierce repercussions. (usually along the lines of starvation and forced labor) Perhaps Raven's tattoo had some kind of ritual symbolism. If that's the case then an unhappy memory would be likely.

"Rae, where exactly are you going?" The Boy Wonder's voice was unusually sluggish. Maybe he had been sleeping.

The sorceress patted her messenger bag. "Library, mi amor, I have work to do."

Newspapers rustled gently as the young man flipped a few pages. His green gloved hand reached out for a dark black mug, no doubt filled with strong, black coffee. "Oh. Well try to be back by noon. Were going to the beach."

"Wow, we haven't been to the beach in a few", commented the sorceress as she rummaged through her dark camouflage messenger bag. As neat as Raven was, even she wasn't immune from the 'losing your car keys' syndrome.

"You know…Robin doesn't really read those things." The devious voice of the Tameranian triggered a flurry of knowing glances and smiles.

Raven looked up from her granola bar and grinned. "Yup. He thinks we can't tell."

"I heard that you two. And no, I'm not sleeping."

"Who said you were sleeping?" countered Starfire, her playful voice matching the excited look in her emerald green eyes. "Raven, can you look over my work? I think I got everything correct!"

"Well let's see." Raven paused to look at the worksheet. "You are improving. However defeat does not mean to lose your toes."

Terra began to chuckle and Robin smirked.

"Silly me." Starfire erased her answer and filled in the correct one while Raven shook her head.

"I've spent enough time here…adios mi amigos." She took off for the door, froze in mid-step, and slumped to the floor, cradling her head in her hands.

"Rae…you haven't been drinking have you?" His warning voice made the sorceress grind her teeth in irritation.

"She doesn't smell like alcohol." Starfire mumbled absently.

"Of course not. I'm just a little clumsy. See you."

* * *

_Summer has come and past  
The innocent can never last  
Wake me up when September ends_

It was sunny today, there wasn't a cloud in sight...hell, he even felt kinda happy today. But for some fucked up reason, Derek's ipod decided that sad depressing songs were in order. Wasn't the point of shuffle to hear random things? Why were the gods torturing him like this?

_Like my fathers come to pass_

_Seven years had gone so fast_  
_Wake me up when September ends_

A sigh escaped the man's lips as he strolled down the sidewalks, an empty backpack slung on his back. It wouldn't stay empty for long. Three of his professors got this brilliant idea to assign papers...all with the same due date!

What possessed teachers to behave this way...didn't they all hate doing this kind of shit too? What ever happened do 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'? Perhaps that argument was invalid in his case...he'd stopped believing in the gods and golden rules and whatever else came with the package.

_Here comes the rain again_  
_Falling from the stars_  
_Drenched in my pain again_  
_Becoming who we are_

Derek jammed his hands into the pockets of his dark black denim jeans, suddenly realizing where his guitar pick had been this past week. After promising a friend he'd compose some music for them...he spent half of his week looking for the damn pick.

To compensate for the lost time...he stayed up for two whole days without sleeping. Now calluses covered his fingers and his head pounded from the bright sunny light. Hangovers felt better compared to this.

_As my memory rests_

_But never forgets what I lost _  
_Wake me up when September ends"-_

Enough was enough. Derek pulled the ear buds from his ears angrily and turned his ipod off, shoving the device into his pocket. He hurridly climbed the stairs to the library and marched for the bookshelves...it was better to find the damn books and leave. Then he could go home and drown in his misery, with his stupid ipod and a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

But was there any beer in the fridge? Didn't he finish the last case with his brother a few days ago? Derek sighed. He needed to pick up some groceries...before his sister-in law found out. Although he was grateful that she actually cared about his well being...her food could be unbearably spicy at times.

The young man turned around, finally locating the book from the endless shelves of the library. He glanced at his watch. He really needed to leave this place...he was supposed to have left fifteen minutes ago. Sighing heavily, Derek turned and bumped into someone, sending books flying across the floor.

"Derek! We meet again!" A familiar voice echoed in his ears.

He looked down. "Adrianna, you remembered me!"

A smile spread on her face. "Of course I remembered! You're kinda hard to forget."

Derek handed her several books that had fallen onto the floor. It had been a while since he'd seen that carefree smile. The sight left him feeling rather nostalgic. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Raven glanced up from her books, a teasing look in her usually empty violet eyes. "I see you still hide behind the glasses?"

Derek laughed, finding her statement amusing. "What can I say, old habits die hard." The glint of the silver chain around her neck caught Derek's eye. He couldn't believe that she was wearing the necklace. "Nice necklace…boyfriend give it to you?"

To be honest...the first thing that came into his mind upon spying the necklace at the jewelry store was Raven. That trinket just seemed like something that would suit her. Of course, like most thoughts, he couldn't find any reason to explain this strange phenomenon.

Plus, he knew nothing about flowers...that particular one just seemed perfect. Jessica, his cousin who more or less dragged him into the store, explained the odd meaning of the azelea flower. He hadn't even known it's name.

Still, didn't the fact that a thief had given her the jewelry ring any bells? Didn't she think it was stolen? It's not like he actually stole the necklace…he wasn't a cheap person. Derek had expected a little more caution.

Was she this trusting of the person that saved her life? Had she really grown to trust the mask of Red X that much? If she knew that he was the one behind the mask...would she still trust him?

She blushed. "No, just an acquaintance."

"Acquaintance? You know it's not good to lie, Princess."

"I'm not lying! And don't call me princess!"

Derek laughed, trying to block all the random paranoid thoughts that swirled in his mind. Someone was watching them...he couldn't shake that feeling. He prayed it wasn't anyone dangerous.

While he did his best to hide his moonlight thieving escapades, Derek also knew that he had angered some very dangerous people...without the aid of the Red X suit. He was used to the death threats and the constant shadowing...he just didn't want any of his innocent friends getting caught in any fighting.

Derek had gotten so engrossed in his many escape plans which included, but wasn't limited to causing a scene before dashing out the back, or somehow leaving through the ceiling (This plan being the last resort) that he didn't notice when Raven began to drag him toward the circulation desk, a dark and menacing frown on her pretty face. "What's the matter?"

She spoke slowly and carefully, doing nothing to hide the anger that seeped from her voice. "I'm being spied upon."

She must have sensed it too...perhaps she knew who it was? Maybe they weren't here to spy on me after all. Derek said nothing...a sigh of relief would be too suspicious. He had to act surprised and perhaps apprehensive? Isn't that how a normal person would act?

"Hey, let's get outta here." There was a defiance in Raven's voice that made him want to laugh.

His eyebrows rose. "And go where exactly?" Was she really inviting him out somewhere? He really wanted to go to...just to take his mind off the annoying homework that he was assigned.

Raven shielded her eyes with her hands as they exited the building and walked into the sunlight. "Well you can come to the beach with me, just go home and get your stuff."

"You really think your friends will let me hang out at the beach with you?" He stared at her for a long moment. While he wanted to spend time with Raven...having a beach party with his sworn enemies was not really his definition of a good time. Then again...they didn't know anything about him. He could think of it as surveillance.

"Why not? It's not like you have a criminal record." Raven's words made him want to laugh. A criminal record was something he flaunted...but not with any pride. He was jailed in high-school for vandalizing the school and stealing. Now he was hunted in Jump City as a dangerous, villain and thief. If that didn't scream criminal record...he didn't know what did.

"Sure, I'll go to the beach." He hoped the amusement in his tone wasn't recognizable...but judging from the strange look she had given him, that was unlikely.

Raven stared at him with confusion before shrugging. "Ok just meet me in the bookstore off Montgomery Street."

"Sure thing princess." He laughed as she stormed away, a scowl on her face.

Yea, Raven was a strange one. But he's always known that…ever since he saw her that day at the bar, downing shot after shot of vodka, Derek felt that he needed to see her, to get to know the person behind the emotionless mask.

It was always a mystery to him why there was never a trace of emotions on her face. Doesn't everyone have feelings…things they can express but never explain? Every time he saw her in action…her mask and cape obscuring everything… Derek began to wonder who she truly was. Who was Raven and who was the depressed girl sitting alone in the bar? She's like a puzzle only with missing pieces…pieces that are impossible to find.

He sees her hanging out with friends but this time she's no longer Raven, she's Adrianna. And Derek begins to wonder which person is real…and which is the alias. When she's Adrianna, she's wild, carefree, sarcastic and childish…but when she's Raven all he could see is sadness, pain and a strange maturity that should not be present in a teenager's eyes.

Perhaps that's why he helped her home, when he could see that she was too wasted to even stand. Derek felt bad about leaving her on the floor like that but there was nothing he could do. What if the alarm had gone off? Why did he even take the risk?

At first, he thought it was his insatiable habit of helping the desperate, or an excuse to steal the layout of the Tower (which Derek will admit he did steal that night) But now... he suddenly realized that he risked getting caught because he knew that deep down... he was the only one who would.

Perhaps it was just sympathy...still, Raven deserves more.

* * *

Terra looked on with a smile on her face as the guys played volleyball. It was strange…this was the first time she really met them so why did she feel like she belonged in this big group?

Why did she feel so accepted? The geomancer shook her head and smiled remembering when she first set eyes on Aqualad. He looked so heavenly without a shirt on…

Perhaps that's why he's so shy…where was Raven when you need her? She couldn't sit and discuss boys with Star…the alien was rather naïve. Terra wrinkled her nose and turned back to the giant sand castle she was building. Voices drew her from the repetitive motions of earth bending. She glanced up and stared, perplexed at the sight of Raven being carried by a strange man.

"Hey! Don't crash into the sand castle guys…it's not sturdy yet!"

Raven yelled in annoyance. "You heard the woman! Set me down! Or the world will see your face!"

Terra frowned. Such a strange statement…"Hey Raven and you…"

"Derek."

"Oh. Nice to meet you." _What's with the glasses? _Terra noticed Raven's flower printed sarong… Why must that girl always be so...insecure? Why can't Raven see that she was beautiful? Terra sighed. "Come one Rae, let's see the suit."

"I don't know…I don't really like how it looks." A look of uncertainty brimmed in the sorceress' violet eyes, irritating the geomancer. Terra stood up and swiftly untied the knot of the sarong and stepped back as the material pooled at her feet.

For someone who hated swimsuit shopping, she really did a good job. Raven had decided to go with a simple black halter top and red skirted swimsuit bottom. She had refused to wear the black bikini bottom. Still, she looked awesome.

"Raven, you look awesome. Doesn't she Derek?"

"Yea princess you look awesome." Derek smiled and nodded, noting the distressed and annoyed look on Raven's face.

"What did I tell you?" The teenager scowled and Derek look that as his cue. Laughing, he dashed off trying to escape the murderous intent of the purple haired sorceress.

**oOoOo**

There was nothing in the world as awesome as vacation in Beastboy's mind. Sitting for hours doing nothing, lying in the sun and surfing with the dolphins… yea the beach was a swell place. Everyone was happy and carefree…even Robin.

The shape shifter sent a blue Frisbee spinning through the air, chuckling at Starfire who was trying insanely hard to stay on the ground and catch the disk. From the corner of his eye, he glimpsed the gigantic sand castle that Terra was building.

Yea, there were some perks to being able to wield earth…someone could live in that thing!

Turning around he looked for Raven. She was with Terra a minute ago…._wait a minute who is that guy? _His mouth dropped when Raven tackled him to the ground…._that was so NFL! She doesn't even watch football!_

"Beastboy! Watch out!" Starfire's shrill yell broke his thoughts. He looked and saw the blue disk coming closer and closer…there was no time to duck.

**oOoOo**

"You guys will never let this go, will you." Beastboy whined as he placed a cold soda on his throbbing head. "She throws like a beast!"

Robin chuckled. "You have to admit…it's hilarious."

The shape shifter pouted and looked away. Why is he the one everyone gets to laugh at? Turning, he spotted Terra as she knelt beside him and kissed his cheek gently, amusement sparkling in her baby blue eyes. "Aww did we hurt BB's feelings?"

"You're laughing too! You're supposed to support me!"

She smiled and looked into the distance watching Raven and Derek collecting seashells. Who knew Raven was into that kind of stuff? Turning slightly she saw Jericho, Argent and Bumblebee playing double-dutch with the jump ropes. It was always amazing to her how someone could pull that stunt. It seemed impossible!

She looked back at Beastboy, and frowned at the sight of him mooching her pop rocks. "Hey! Back off the candy crack."

Robin looked up, his eyebrows raised in confusion. "Candy crack?"

"Yea, you didn't know that?"

Robin only stared.

**oOoOo**

"Ok guys lets play Klantax!" Starfire jumped up and down in glee waving her arms and directing the group to the circle.* She watched as some people joined with enthusiasm, while other dragged their feet with dread.

"What if we don't know how to play?" Aqualad asked after pausing in his mindless guitar strumming. His hands hadn't left that guitar since he arrived at the beach. Between him and Jericho...the party never lacked as far as music was concerned.

"Then watch and join in next round."

Speedy plopped down on the sand next to Jericho. "I'll play with you Starfire...so long as Raven doesn't try to cop a feel." A devilish grin appeared on his face as he winked at Starfire, who blushed in return.

The sorceress grinned, mischief sparkling in her violet eyes. "I'll restrain my wandering hands…only if you've got some cuffs."

Speedy raised an eyebrow. "Is that a challenge, Raven?"

"You tell me; you're the cop."

Starfire smiled, rolling her eyes at the banter between the two friends. Speedy was such a character. Although he looked similar to Robin, his character and attitude was the complete opposite. Speedy was laid back, care-free and a joker...a stark contrast to Robin's organized, diligent and polite nature.

At times the alien wasn't sure who she liked better. Robin knew how to be kind and loving when he wanted to. Speedy was someone she could joke and play around with.

"Ok you two, lets play. Beastboy, why don't you go first."

**oOoOo**

Derek watched the small group playing the strange game, not fully understanding what was going on. Not that he needed too…it seemed that they were playing some fucked up version of duck, duck, goose. Except with blindfolds. And if that was the case…forget it. He was fine sitting here listening to Aqualad's guitar, which surprisingly he played quite exceptionally.

"Do you want to go play the game?" He turned and looked into a pair of reddish brown eyes.

"No…not really. The game makes no sense."

The young woman smiled, reminding him strangely of Raven. "Well one person is picked from the group and is blindfolded. Someone tells them who to find and when they do they have to say describe something about that person without using their eyes."

"It doesn't sound that hard." Derek commented.

"Oh, but it is. Everyone else is allowed to try to trick and distract you. Besides, Raven always wins." The teenager wrinkled her nose, and Derek was drawn to the freckles that splashed across the bridge of her nose. Funny how he didn't notice them until now...her freckles were kinda sexy.

"Does she now?" His eyes glinted with amusement. Perhaps this game wasn't so fucked up after all.

"Yea…but then again she can sense people's auras so she can't be tricked."

"Is that why you're not playing?" Derek sensed a bit of envy in her words.

The pale woman grinned and shook her head; reddish-black spikes went flying. "I don't care much for the sport…it's a Tameran game and Starfire's people are very big on contact."

"Ah. So, I don't think I ever got your name?"

She smiled. "It's Argent."

What a weird name...not that it mattered. She seemed really close to Raven, and when she wasn't playing double-dutch with the others, Argent was with Raven. They were like best friends, the kind that always walked with arms linked together and heads close to each other.

Derek felt rather jealous of their friendship. He wanted very much to understand Raven like Argent did...to be Raven's best friend, to walk hand in hand and laugh about anything. To be the one to put sun screen on her pale creamy white skin...

Was her skin as soft as it looked? What did she smell like? Derek shook his head. He shouldn't be fantasizing like this. Raven was barely eighteen. And he was going to be twenty-four in several months anyway.

"Hey! New guy c'mere!"

Derek looked and saw the green boy…._ (I think his name was Beastboy?) _waving him over.

"Well Argent, it was a pleasure meeting you." The teenager only cocked her head, a perplexed glint in her eyes. Standing, he made his way over, smirking inwardly at Starfire's lingering gaze.

"So-"

"So you're the new guy…which means you have to play."

"Damn it."

**oOoOo**

Jinx stared blankly at the sandy beach floor drowning the laughter and voices around her. Leave it to Starfire to force everyone to play what she wants.

Still, it was interesting to see what one could get away with…everyone was running out of options. The pink haired witch smirked to herself when Raven's turn came around again. This game is gonna get a lot more intense. "Ok! Rae, find Derek. No peeking, smelling, or sensing auras."

"You're doing this on purpose? I feel that smirk on your face…get it off."

Jinx chuckled deviously and watched as Raven went around the crowd lightly running her hands through each person's hair. She knew what the sorceress would do next…once she found him that is.

Her hunch was confirmed when Raven knelt in front of Derek, her lips turned in a frown of concentration. Jinx wondered briefly what was going on in her friend's mind. She seemed so serious and...apprehensive, as her hands gently reached out and touched the man's face. The pink haired teen watched Raven smile slightly and kiss Derek...much to her surprise. This wasn't what she had in mind!

Jinx gasped softly when Derek pulled the sorceress into his lap and deepened the kiss. Perhaps there was more going on between them that she suspected. Why wasn't she told? How could Raven leave out this important piece of her life? They were supposed to tell each other everything!

The witch scowled when they broke apart for air and Raven yanked the blind away, exclaiming "Chocolate…you taste like chocolate."

Derek grinned and kissed her again.

Jinx nodded. There was definitely something going on between them.

* * *

* that game...i just had to find a reason for Raven to kiss Derek without any implications... i hope this revised version is better than before. I also hope the story is easier to follow.

This chapter was inspired by

1) Turn My Swag On by Soulja Boy

2) California Gurls by Katy Perry

~heartless16


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**  
**Disclaimer: Look at chapter 1**  
**(The song lyrics in this chapter are from Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson. I do not own them.)**

**I have a hard time describing Derek's voice. It probably sounds like Ren Tsuruga from Skip Beat or maybe Kakashi Hatake from Naruto. ****It's really aggravating me. Please tell me what you think...how would you describe the voice of someone that's playboy material...but with a dark mysterious side?**

* * *

The thief wasn't expecting the hard kick to his back. Rolling away from Robin ruthless attacks, Red X gazed into the corner and cursed. Who knew Robin had a deceptive side? "Nice try, Chuckles. But you can never corner a thief."

It didn't matter who was hiding in the corner…although he had a pretty good idea of the person. There was only one person he knew that could blend into the darkness like that. If he played his cards right, she could be taken down easily…besides, his mission was accomplished and it was time to blow this joint.

Red X turned and jumped off the edge of the building…only to freeze in midair. The thief stared at the black barrier surrounding him, an interesting hypothesis brewing in his mind.

_I wonder if…. _There was a blinding flash from the sky and as Red X teleported away, his heart cringed at Raven's pained shriek. Looking down at her convulsing figure filled him with guilt.

Perplexed, Red X stared at the small device in his hands. All he'd done was to take a police tazer and soup it up. It was only meant to deliver a small but deadly charge. Perhaps the voltage setting was off...or was it just her small petite size?

There wasn't a chance to mull over that idea because Starfire launched herself at him, and the two hit the concrete. Gasping, Red X gritted his teeth in pain as her knee dug into his back.

"You evil bastard! How dare you attempt to murder my friend!"

Damn it…She figured it out. Not really surprising, the alien isn't as dumb as she acts. _I wonder if Robin knows what she's capable of. _Cursing, he fought against her iron grip and bit back a groan. _What the hell was she going on about? Why am I the evil bastard for trying to kill someone…she's trying to kill me!_

"You are a disgrace, Red X, to deliberately attempt such a thing. No true warrior uses deception to win a war. I will make you suffer."

At this the thief laughed. "Well sweetheart, if you wanted me all you had to do was ask. I look forward to this…suffering, Peaches." The alien stiffened, obviously caught off guard. This was the moment…he had to get out of here. Throwing her weight from his body, the thief stood and promptly glued her to the wall. It wasn't till he was leaving that he noticed what Raven had done.

"Ah fuck. Can't a man steal in peace? I wouldn't touch her if I were you Chuckles; poor child has enough electricity inside her to light up a five story building."

Robin stepped back from Raven's body reluctantly, waiting to see his next move. Neither of them expected what happened next. Without warning, Raven jerked into an up-right position and roundhouse-kicked the villain into the wall. Red X grimaced.

That was definitely going to leave a bruise. Grabbing her hand before it connected with his face, he pinned her to the wall behind him and began searching for the necklace. "Where is it, Princess?" Please don't make me have to do a full body search…I haven't got the time."

Biting her lip, Raven pulled the necklace from her bra and surrendered it, refusing to meet his eyes. An eyebrow rose in surprise beneath the mask "Wasn't expecting that one, Princess. Guess I know where to look next time don't I, Raven."

The brief flicker of fear in her eyes made the thief regret his words...

Abruptly, Starfire's screeching voice shattered the somber silence. "No, Raven you can't get sick now! Didn't you bring your medicine? Raven please…don't do this, not now…Robin, you can't touch her!"

Whirling, he caught sight of Raven on her knees, her pale fingers gripping her head. What was wrong with her? Was it the volt generator…did he do this? Running back, Red X scooped her into his arms, muffling her screams with a gloved hand. _I couldn't have the neighbors turning me in._

Ignoring Starfire's yelling, the thief teleported away, the now unconscious heroine in his arms.

**oOoOo**

The soft aroma of leather and the blinding sunlight assaulted Raven's senses. Heavy eyelids fluttered open, and then slammed shut. _Stupid sunshine…why the hell is my window even open?_

_Leather….since when do I own leather? _The sorceress sat up suddenly, her eyes taking in the strange room. It was mostly empty, with a light brown closet door at one end and a small study desk on the other.

The walls were painted a neutral cream-white color and the same light brown color of the closet door adorned the borders, giving the room a polished flair. Snarling at the cream-white colored walls, Raven instead decided to stare at the beige carpet.

She hated white… the stupid color was void of flaws, it screamed of perfection…and purity. She was none of those things…and she hated herself for it. Raven looked down at the soft bed beneath her, suddenly realizing what had transpired. _Fuck…Robin's gonna kill me. __Please Starfire…don't open your mouth. Don't try to explain anything._

_But why does Red X always have to save me? Why is he always there?_ Pulling back the covers, the young woman stood; grateful that the unfamiliar, tingling sensation was leaving her body. Being electrocuted was not something she wanted to endure ever again.

Turning to the window, her gaze fell on an old, dusty guitar case, leaning dejectedly against the cream colored wall. With a curious expression on her pale face, Raven crouched and opened the case, running her hands gently against the instrument. It was a beautiful auburn color, with strange symbols adorning the back and sides. The instrument was no doubt an antique or some kind of heirloom, the wood felt hand-crafted.

Digging through the case and stifling several sneezes, Raven finally found a pick and strummed the instrument, wincing at the sounds. _Poor neglected thing…I wonder if I can still remember how to tune a guitar..._

**oOoOo**

Red X stared at the small necklace in his hands. Such a plain looking trinket…and yet it was worth almost a million dollars. _Such a waste…_ He sighed and placed it into a small safe hidden in the innocent looking wall of his apartment.

Running his hands through his tousled black hair, he slumped onto his living room sofa, wondering if the heroine was awake. It was odd having her in his house…but it was his only option. It's not like he could have waltzed into the hospital and demanded they take care of her…although Robin would be pissed if that happened.

Shaking his head, he grabbed a beer from the fridge and began to down the contents, while flipping through a magazine. Suddenly the sound of music filled his ears. Looking up sharply he glanced at the empty bottle of beer. _Perhaps I drank a little too fast…_

Shaking his head he continued to thumb through the magazine…then the music started up again. "Damn it!" He slammed his fist on the counter, ready to tell his neighbor off when he realized that the music was coming from inside his apartment.

_Since when do I leave the radio on… or maybe I did drink too fast. _Frantically he stomped through all the rooms in the apartment, unplugging the radios, only becoming more aggravated when the music continued.

This had better be where the music's coming from…Red X unlocked the door and pushed it open, then stumbled back in surprise.

Was that his guitar? What was it doing in this room? Why was Raven playing it? Her voice was so...beautiful.

Breathtaking.

_"I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,  
I'll do what it takes, till I touch the sky  
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change,  
And breakaway..._

Raven's voice filled his mind with awe and pierced his heart. Red X crossed his arms, trying to place the emotions in the sorceress. Yes, he knew what this was. This emotion, this longing.

Freedom.

Yes, he knew those feelings well. The intense feeling of agitation, the depression. Red X longed to be free. To give up his thieving lifestyle. To discard the mantle of 'Red X'. He didn't choose this life. He never wanted it.

Yes, he stole the suit...but it wasn't entirely his choice. Yes, he enjoyed stealing the suit...but who doesn't enjoy the thrill of a dare? The enticement of being 'the bad guy'? What was it called?

An adrenaline rush. The all-or-nothing sensation. The feeling that one decision could make or break everything. Placing your life at the edge of a cliff. It was ecstasy...pure ecstasy. A dangerous addiction...and he couldn't get enough.

_Out of the darkness and into the sun_  
_I won't forget the ones that I love_  
_I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change_  
_And breakaway."_

Escape.

Red X longed for escape. To walk away from everything. Who he was, what he did, his disturbing obsession to the Titan sorceress. Yes, obsession...what else should he call it? A fetish? Maybe an odd affinity?

How does one describe silently watching over someone in secret?

Following her around the city, just to make sure nothing happens. Staring through her windows at night, just to see if she was sleeping peacefully. Sneaking in to the tower to chase away the nightmares.

Engraving the memory of her ethereal, peaceful face into his mind, forever. Forever tormenting his soul as his eyes gazed on that scar...blaming himself for disfiguring her once perfect face. Yes, Red X had an obsession. An unhealthy obsession with Raven. Ever since that night...

Why wasn't he faster? Why did he hesitate? Why did he let his work, stop him from helping her sooner?

A sigh escaped his lips. So, this was the feeling of regret?

**oOoOo**

Raven was surprised that she could remember how to play the song…it seemed like forever ago when he taught it to her. Smiling slightly, Raven turned around…and jumped. The music stopped suddenly as the guitar flew from her hands.

Rushing forward the thief caught it, staring up at her through his mask. "I'd like this in one piece, if you don't mind."

Stumbling back, Raven stared at Red X, her eyes fixated on his red robin-esque mask. Her eyes trailed leisurely down his body, taking in the black muscle t-shirt, loose fitted black jeans and Nike shoes. _Damn…why must I be attracted to guys in muscle tees? Why Azar?_

Silencing the distracting thoughts, Raven returned to the present and eyed him warily as he placed the old guitar back into its case, observing from the smell of beer that the thief must have had a bottle or two.

"Where did you learn to play like that?"

"What?" _Why is he being so nice? I almost broke his guitar and oh yea, I'm his prisoner…  
_  
"Where'd you learn to play the guitar… did you take lessons?" The thief's voice was strangely soft and friendly, as if having a casual conversation on the streets.

Was it the beer making him this way? What about the sarcasm, the arrogance and the nonchalance? Wasn't that who Red X was? Why was this man so familiar...as if she had met him somewhere before? Raven bit her lip and stared at the floor, trying to hide her confusion. "I don't know how to play…a friend only taught me that song."

He raised an eyebrow. "They must have been a good teacher."

Raven shrugged. "He made it seem easy…but I prefer the piano." Why was she telling him all this? Raven never talked about Jeremy...even Jinx didn't know about him. So why was she feeling like she could trust this man with her secrets? Why was she feeling so...safe?

"Did he teach you how to sing?" The pure curiosity radiating from Red X was puzzling…why the hell did he care?

"No…I taught myself. What's with all the questions, and am I free to leave?" Raven cringed inwardly at her voice. Was she being rude? Maybe a 'please' would have made the difference. How could she treat her savior (again) so rudely?

"Sweetheart, you could have left anytime. As for the questions, blame it on curiosity."

More like blame it on the alcohol… What kind of person drinks when they have guests? Perhaps the thief had a lot on his mind? Like where to rob next or what to steal...it was very likely. Did such thoughts warrant a bottle of Jack Daniels? Thieves must put a lot of thought into what the take. "Oh. Well… thanks again for helping me."

He grinned and Raven's stomach sank. Oh Azar, such a beautiful smile! Beautiful and familiar...like someone she knew. The dimples in his cheeks, the perfect set of teeth... perfect lips. Tom Welling lips.

Just like Derek! Raven sucked in her breath.

"The pleasure was all mine, Princess. Just keep in mind…if the hero gig doesn't work out, you could make a hell of a fortune with a voice like yours."

Red X even called her princess...only Derek did that. Raven bit her lip, trying not to freak out.

Smiling once more, Raven prepared to teleport, violet eyes appraising the thief once more. Red X's mischievous, play-boy smile and his smooth velvety voice was the only thing on the sorceress' mind as she faded into the darkness.

* * *

Peace.

It was something that never came to the bustling city of Jump…however in those rare times it was present, the Titans always rejoiced. Peace in the city meant no thieves, no alarms and no annoying calls from the police chief.

Starfire wished that Robin would use this quiet time to think of something other than the identity of Red X. It seemed that whenever there was free time, Robin would lock himself in that dark creepy evidence room, trying to piece together a puzzle that could not be solved.

It all reminded her of Slade and how he was still missing. Sometimes she dreamed that he already returned…and his haunting mask would be the only silhouette glaring from the shadows.

Starfire shook her head, trying to clear the creepy thoughts and peeked into the evidence room once more. The alien did a double take. _What was Raven doing… and if I was by the door this whole time, why did I not see her?_

She watched as Raven handed Robin a cup of coffee and then turned to the table on the far side of the wall, shuffling papers. A few moments later, Robin slumped forward in his chair. Her eyes widened in horror.

Raven had drugged him!

The alien heard Raven's low voice as she began to mutter quietly. Then to her astonishment, Raven scooped the Boy Wonder into her arms and headed for the couch. Chuckling in what Starfire could only describe as evil, Raven placed Robin gently on the couch and traipsed from the room. Why did she drug him?

What was Raven achieving for this? Was it because Robin had not entered his room ever since Raven returned after being saved once more by Red X? Shouldn't he have been happy that Rave had not died?

Sure it was a villain that saved her...but that wasn't the real issue. The questions Robin should be seeking were the ones that Raven was hiding. She was the one who had another episode while on duty...she was the one hiding a sickness from the team, a sickness that could potentially spell doom for her life, as well as the lives of all those living in the tower.

Why wasn't Robin concerned? Why was he only after Red X?

Starfire sighed and sat down, placing Robin's head gently in her lap. Robin ignored everything when it came to Red X. He was consumed by the thief...it was like he was seeking revenge. Revenge for stealing the suit right under his nose no doubt.

Red X, whoever he was, had destroyed Robin's pride...something that Robin wouldn't accept. But did he have to ignore her? Did he have to neglect the person he claimed he loved?

Gentle tanned hands stroked the young man's hair lightly. Perhaps it didn't matter anymore. After all, she was the one to betray and abandon him first. She was the one who acted foolish and irresponsible. She was the one who had slept with someone else.

Starfire had wanted to talk to Raven...she wanted someone to understand. So she asked her one day after they had returned from a fierce battle with the newly improved Cinderblock. Starfire wanted to know what Raven thought about having kids. It was a simple and meaningless question...to Raven however, the idea seemed to open up some wounds.

Raven had mentioned a spell... she said that someone had cast a spell on her, and now she couldn't have kids. Her voice seemed so saddened as she revealed this. Starfire had wondered at the time if it was the right thing to ask.

Perhaps it would have been best to come out with the truth. In the end, none of that mattered...somehow Raven understood what had transpired, she had uncovered the secret. And the horrible way of covering the matter up. The sorceress was angry and disappointed. She couldn't believe what had transpired.

Starfire hands began to shake as she recalled what had transpired. She remembered cringing at the disgust in Raven's eyes, and trying to justify what she had done. _"I know it wasn't supposed to happen, but it was my decision!" _She had said this...as if that could somehow compensate for her murderous actions.

_"Your decision. So you can just go and fuck around and whatever happens is your decision? This is exactly why NO ONE takes you seriously, Starfire. You NEVER take responsibility for anything! You think that you can just make these mistakes and someone else will always be there to clean up your mess!" _

She remembered feeling angry and annoyed. Who was Raven to judge her actions? Raven was not God! Raven would never understand what she went through...it wasn't fair.

_"Oh, now you talk fair. Tell me Kori'ander, how the hell were you fair? You MURDERED someone! All because you couldn't fess up to a mistake!" _

Raven's words had torn through her heart. She was right...unbearably right. It was murder, wasn't it? Isn't that what abortion is? 'Getting rid of the fetus' was murder, to put it lightly. Starfire only did it to hide her sins from Robin.

But why was Raven always right? Why was she the one who could judge and not be judged! Wasn't Raven guilty of doing bad things too? Wasn't she the one who always ran away, got drunk and slept with whoever comes along?

Starfire knew better. She should have kept her mouth shut...shouldn't have provoked the sorceress in such an underhanded way. But can regret fix the past? Can regret undo the terrible things she said? _"Stop making me the horrible one… you're the one who fucks around. You're the one who can't keep her legs closed! Why are you allowed to be the bad one? Why are you allowed to play the whore?"_

_"So now I'm the whore? What about you? Did you even stop to think for a second about Robin's feelings before you cheated on him? Did you even think about how he would feel? Maybe I am a slut…but perhaps you should take a look in the mirror as well." _

The hurt look in Raven's eyes haunted me to this very day. Seeing Raven run from the room tore my heart. Why did she say those things?

How could she have been so mean? Standing up, Starfire turned and gazed out of the window, watching the rain drops slide down and disappear into the puddles. Robin should know the truth. He deserves to know what she did.

But…what if he does not understand? What if he does not forgive? What if hatred fills his heart? Then she'll be alone. No, she couldn't be alone. She didn't want to be alone. Starfire wanted to be loved, she wanted Robin's love. Perhaps telling the truth, and having that child wouldn't have been a bad thing.

But what if it was? What if that baby ruined everything?

Biting her hand, Starfire bit back an anguished moan. Who knew one night of reckless fun could cause so much heartache?

* * *

Irritation.

It was all the sorceress could feel as she sat outside the road side cafe. In front of her was a chocolate milkshake, and the remains of a hamburger. Garfield's trigonometry book was open, but shoved to the side. She was beginning to hate that book.

Raven sighed, and looked up. Was that Derek? How many times had they randomly met? And why was he approaching her with that knowing smirk...as if he knew something that she didn't. Oh but Azar, his smirk was so damn sexy! Raven sighed nostalgically, a dejected on her face.

"Why the long face, sweetheart?"

She quickly wiped the scowl from her face and sipped her milkshake. "You ruined my day." Nothing could be further from the truth. But she couldn't outright admit that the sight of him was like a load being lifted off her shoulders, could she? It would be...humiliating.

Derek furrowed his eyebrows and pouted. "That really hurt, love."

Raven smirked. "I know. What are we doing today?" Every time they met was an adventure. Last time they met at the park, Angel put on her own silly version of Swan Lake. The time before that, she took him on the beach outing with the team. What would it be today? A trip to the movies? Maybe dinner and a walk around town?

Derek grinned mischievously. "You could give me a kiss for starters."

"I thought we agreed that was all in the name of a game."

"You know you want to."

Raven bit her lip and looked away. She hated to admit he was right. That dark chocolate taste preoccupied her dreams. _Ugh…why did he have to taste like chocolate? Why did he have to be the addicting one? _Banishing the distracting thoughts, Raven looked up. "Hey! Did I give you permission to finish that?"

Derek shrugged absently as he scrolled through her iPod. "Jesse McCartney? Really?"

Raven bit her lip nervously, berating herself for the blush she knew was spreading along her face. It was embarrassing and so unlike the character she tried so hard to exhibit. "It's a long story."

Derek smiled inwardly at the light blush on Raven's face. "I'm sure it is. You like rap music?"

"It's easy to dance to…but I don't listen to it much."

"You dance?" His voice was painted with skepticism.

"Not anymore." Raven's voice trailed off into a mumble as she continued texting on her phone. The words Robin and blaring music caught his ear and he couldn't help but laugh out loud. "I don't see what's funny."

"Come on. I'm taking you somewhere today." His golden eyes glittered with laughter as he gently pulled her to her feet.

Raven scowled again as she realized that he still was holding onto her Ipod. Really...was her music that interesting? And why'd he have to go and finish her milkshake? It was the only thing she'd had all day, seeing as it was Beastboy's day to cook. Tofu wasn't something she could eat willingly...the taste reminded her of crayons.

Yes, crayons...they were rare on Azarath and according to Arella, when not using them to color on the walls, Raven was chewing them up, apparently loving the way her tongue changed colors.

"You're buying me more food." If nothing else happened this day, she wanted food. Preferably a hamburger...or a steak, with dessert of course. There was nothing like apple pie to finish off an annoying day.

"As you wish, Princess."

"Don't call me that." Raven whined as she followed him, noting with a strange fascination that his hair was just barely brushing his shoulders. It was really long. She couldn't help the urge to give him a hair cut. Funny, she never noticed it while looking at him face-to face.

Her iPod was still in his hands...why won't he give it back? He wasn't even listening to it! Raven began to wonder if he was using the music device as collateral. Maybe he thought that if he gave it back to her, she would leave him. Perhaps that was the reason he wouldn't say anything about where they were going.

Raven looked at him, annoyed at the darkly shaded glasses he placed back on on his face when they entered the subway and managed to snag two seats. His emotions were even harder to read with them on… and she wanted to see his eyes…his weird and wonderful golden eyes.

Biting her lip, the sorceress looked back down at her green painted fingernails. They say green is the color of redemption...of rebirth. Green was not a color that suited her. She did not deserve redemption. She deserved death.

No one else knew of the gruesome images that flashed in her mind. No one could fathom the destruction, and the carnage. She killed everyone that day...in the STAR LAB facility. Raven knew she did...there was no real point in skirting past the truth. She was a murderer, and there was blood on her hands. It wouldn't wash away either...

"Rae, what's wrong?"

Purple eyes peered into darkly tinted glasses. Why did he sound concerned? Raven tried to smile...she tried to block the flashbacks that kept trying to invade her mind. "Nothing. I'm fine." Raven didn't feel fine. She was slowly losing it. She was slowly going mad.

He raised an eyebrow. "Then why'd you peel all the polish of your nails?"

The sorceress glanced down at her now speckled nails and cursed inwardly. That was the last of the green… and it only lasted a night. What bothered her even more was the fact that he actually noticed the polish. What guy notices those things?

Perhaps he was just attentive to everything. Or he noticed the small pile of green polish that now decorated her dark black miniskirt. Raven felt like a child with an incurable habit. The sorceress smiled and tried to shrug it off. "Bad habit." He nodded, but the young woman could tell he didn't buy it. Her voice wasn't really that convincing.

"Come one… were kinda running late."

"Wait, we?" Since when were they on a deadline?

"Yea." Derek grabbed her hand as they exited the subway station, his grasp firm and strong. It was as if he didn't want her to get lost. Funny, earlier she felt like a child...now Derek was actually treating her like one.

"Exactly where are we going Derek?"

He pursed his lips. "I wanted to take you to thee amusement park...but I couldn't get tickets fast enough. Then, I thought about the aquarium, but isn't that childish?"

Raven couldn't respond. This hand holding was childish..."So, where are we going now?"

Derek didn't answer. "We could go to the ice rink...or the bowling alley, I can't really decide. But right now something came up...it shouldn't take long though."

He still didn't answer the question, and he won't let go of her hand. Raven sighed, deciding to ignore the hand-holding...it wasn't really that bad. Though she would never admit it out loud, it was rather quite sweet.

She had never really noticed how his hands felt until now. They were warm, rough and callused...for what reason, Raven didn't really know. Derek's hands felt strangely familiar to her...like she's seen or felt them before.

It was strange how there were many things about Derek that Raven found familiar. His warm deep voice, the strange, familiar accent as well as his cautious aura. Raven couldn't help but feel that she knew him...or that she had known him for a long time. She couldn't place a finger on it.

Was it just the resemblance to her childhood friend? Or had Raven known about him long before she had met him in person?

The sorceress pondered all these things as they took his motorcycle to one of the better parts in town. The buildings and shopping complexes were new, it was the type of place that Raven and Starfire couldn't shop at...even if they wanted to. Robin's credit card could only take so much. Star would love to shop here though, the sorceress mused.

The drive to the neighborhood wasn't very far and for that Raven was glad. Derek drove like a demon…and she was positive that it was all on purpose. Payback was now on her mind but...what was she going to do?

Deciding that revenge was too complicated at the moment, she followed him up the unusually wide stairs of the apartment building, silently wondering why he continually skipped every thirteenth step.

Perhaps he was just a suspicious person…Jinx never goes to work when Friday's fall on the thirteenth of the month. She made a mental note to question Derek about his strange habit.

Derek unlocked the door to one of the apartments and ushered Raven in, telling her not to make a lot of noise. She raised an eyebrow, but he was already across the hall entering another door. He must have very close neighbors, she concluded.

Raven stepped tentatively inside, removing her shoes on a whim. The house was filled with plush furniture and lush green plants. Exotic art paintings and sculptures adorned the walls and accented the room furnishings.

Raven peered at all the sculptures, marveling at the vast collection. There was art from France, Greece, Africa, Japan and other places that she could not name. Yet despite the museum-esque look, there was a homey atmosphere to the place that was inviting…perhaps that's what prompted her to explore the rest of the apartment.

Curiosity is always at the root of every big discovery, so shouldn't have been a surprise what happened next. In fact, she probably should have seen it coming. Anytime her curious side cropped up interesting things happened. Hell, the last time she nearly died! But all foreshadowing aside, Raven did decide to tour the unfamiliar apartment.

Entering the next room Raven glanced around and flinched at the sound of a cry. It was then that she noticed how...childlike the room actually was. The room was painted a dark blue with bright, yellow stars scattered here and there on the walls. Toys lay scattered around a medium sized box in one corner and a rocking chair with several books occupied a corner.

Draped on a small, oak, chest of drawers were several pairs of jeans and shirts...obviously belonging to a little child. A crib sat at the far end of the room and Raven walked over and stared inside at the wailing child.

Derek had a kid?

* * *

Sorry this chapter took forever ...college took over my life. I'm gonna apologize for the fight scene as well...I have a lot of trouble writing scenes like that...

What do you think…especially what do you think about Starfire's character now that you know what she's done?

This chapter was inspired by

~Blame it by Jamie Fox  
~Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson (I've been meaning to use this song for a while.) I don't normally place song lyrics in my stuff but this one will play a part in Raven's whole no regrets thing.

Reviews please! :)

heartless16


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter ****12**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

** I apologize for the extremely long wait... because I'm now in college, I don't get as much time anymore. (Being a Pre-pharm major doesn't help either)**

* * *

Perplexed.

That was what Raven felt as she stared at the small child. Derek had a kid? How come he never mentioned it? Did he think that she couldn't handle such information?

Raven placed her hands on her hips, violet eyes darting around the room in confusion and slight irritation. Why did it even matter this much? They weren't a couple...far from it. The two were simply friends...they didn't even have that close friendship thing going on.

So whats with all the jealousy?

Raven sighed, shaking her head lightly. "You poor thing. Raven woke you up, didn't she." The sorceress lifted the boy from the crib, hoping to stop his crying. What was his name? The sorceress looked at the boy, eyebrow raising at the smooth cocoa skin, jet-black hair and baby blue eyes. Such a strange combination...he didn't really look like Derek at all.

"Shh, baby Tyler. You're Tyler aren't you?" Raven crooned softly, not really certain of where the name came from. Sometimes it was a pain having these powers. It couldn't be controlled, this automatic mind reading.

It was as if she was reading them, without physically invading their mind. Raven often sensed strong emotions that way, sometimes heard thoughts, and impulses. Because there was no way to combat it, Raven was forced to meditate, lest the emotions overcrowd her mind and render her dangerous.

The teenager sighed once more, searching for a diaper and changing supplies. She always seems to help these children at the worst times. Always ends up changing a diaper. Raven smirked, her mind recalling Melvin, Timmy and Teether. How old would they be? What were they doing at this time?

Raven smiled, as she took in the baby's confused look. She began to speak to him in Romanian, watching in amusement as he waved his hands and legs excitedly. The sorceress continued her random babble, noting his agitation when she was silent. If she could onyl find the baby powder, she could leave this place.

Where was it?

In the distance, Raven heard the door shut quietly and the rustling of paper and plastic. The sorceress sighed heavily, perhaps it would be best to forget the powder? It wasn't like Tyler needed the stuff.

"C'mere sweetie, let's go!" Lifting the baby into her arms, the teenager made her way out the room, wincing as the boy began to tug and uank on her purple tresses. Raven bit back laughter at his squeals of laughter and excitement. Was her hair really that fascinating? Or was it that the child hadn't seen hair of that color?

Violet eyes roamed the room before settling on Derek, who was now sorting through the bags of groceries resting on the dark oak table. Raven said nothing as she watched him, trying to place the strange emotion welling up withing her heart.

"Was he crying when you walked in?" The young man questioned, still engrossed in putting away the food items. He seemed to be moving rather hesitatingly, as if unsure of where things belonged.

If this was his apartment, wouldn't he know where everything went? Raven pursed her lips, deciding to table that question for another day. "No, I woke him up. He sensed me come in."

Derek turned from the cupboard, the jar of peanut butter forgotten in his hands. "Sensed you come in?" His warm suave voice was dripping with confusion, well earned confusion. It wasn't like he could automatically understand the complicated intricacies of telepathy.

Raven shrugged, extracting her necklace from the seven month old's slimy mouth. Wincing inwardly, the teen pocketed the jewelry and shifted the boy to her other hip, still trying to piece together an explanation for her puzzling abilities.

After a lengthy pause, Raven clarified. "I'm an empath, right. So I'm able to sense emotions and auras. Sometimes certain people can sense me as well. Kids have...sort of a sixth sense and it usually allows them to sense me as a danger."

Derek nodded, making no move to push aside the mess of hair that now dangled into his angled face. He frowned slightly, a look of thoughtfulness entering his golden eyes.

Raven bit her lip and clenched her fist tightly, trying to ignore the urge to remove the strands of hair that now obscured the man's vision. It was hard for her to admit...but the man was really handsome.

Painfully handsome...the kind of beauty that one could obsess over. Those narrow, cat-like, golden eyes. The high defined cheekbones and strong narrow jaw. His lips...those perfect Tom Welling lips.

A work of art.

**oOoOo**

Astonished.

Derek truly felt this way as he observed the titan entertaining Tyler. Raven acting so, so motherly was simply a strange sight to behold. Was it the outfit?

A black, graphic tank-top, loads of chunky jewelry around her neck and wrists, a faded, distressed, denim mini-skirt, black leggings and thick, studded combat boots didn't really scream mother material.

More like punk slash rocker slash... something else.

The heavy kohl rimmed eyes and streaks in her hair didn't really help the situation either. Then again, maybe it was because he had never seen a genuine smile on the young woman's face before. Somehow, seeing her there, laughing and smiling, hearing as she crooned and sang to the child...his heart simply, melted.

It was like he was seeing her for the first time. Free of the stoic mask, the empty, uncaring eyes and the nonchalant smirk. Raven looked peaceful...content. The only time Raven ever looked that way was when she slept.

Maybe that's what a kid does...bring out one's good side. Make one feel peaceful and content. Derek shook his head, trying to reign in his wandering thoughts. He smiled slightly. "Makes sense. But why isn't he afraid?"

Raven shrugged casually. "Cause he sees I'm not a threat."

Derek chewed his lip thoughtfully. It was hard imagining Raven as a dangerous person. Then again, he had never seen her other half. It was true, he knew about it. Such knowledge was essential, seeing as it wasn't wise to to battle without knowing your opponents.

Perhaps it was the other half that frightened children...maybe they could sense that darker side. Maybe that's was what compelled the titan to blend in and hide her identity.

And she hid it perfectly, so perfectly that Derek himself didn't even recognize the teen. He'd always been confident in his ability to read between the lines. Not that many things were mysteries to him.

Was it because he'd never laid eyes on her face till now? Was it the fact that her eyes were so...unreadable and blank?

It wasn't that he had never seen Raven before, he knew there were five titans. The spiky haired leader, the bubbly obnoxious alien, the cybernetic and shape-shifter duo. And then there was Raven. The one in the dark purple cloak. The one always shrouded in darkness.

The one with expressionless violet eyes.

Those violet eyes...the same ones that haunted him for years. It wasn't until he saw her with the red-head at the mall that he put the faces together. The faceless heroine, the suicidal girl, the despondent woman at the bar and Adrianna.

So many faces...so many personalities. Which one was real?

Was it the one standing before him now? The woman before him now, with bright mirthful eyes, and peaceful smile? This face that made his heart flutter, that warmed his face, that made him weak in the knees...was this the real Raven?

Derek found himself desperately wishing it was.

"Anyway, Tyler's really hungry. You should fix him some pasta." Raven conjectured, her light airy voice drifting from across the room.

The young man ran his hands through his hair, trying to cover up his flustered emotions. Why was he acting like this? Like a lovesick teenager. It was so...aggravating. Wasn't he over these emotions by now? Hadn't he put away these obsessive feelings by now?

The man bit his lip once more, turned and stared at his nephew's drooling face. Tyler wanted pasta? Derek raised a brow. Was the boy talking already?

The young man's eyes glanced at Raven and he stared at her for a while before a smile spread on his face. Derek laughed, finally pushing the dark hair from his mirthful face. "You read his mind!"

Smiling down at the young child in her arms, Raven shook her head slightly. "No. All kids are easy to read. It's actually quite annoying...it feels like he's screaming in my head."

Was it that painful? Derek thought as he stared at Raven's distressed face. Who knew kids were as noisy inside as they were on the outside?

**oOoOo**

Raven said nothing as Derek took the boy from her arms and placed him into the high chair by the window. Did she come off as distressed? Was that why he took Tyler? The sorceress pursed her lips and watched the seven month old child, as his face began to scrunch.

She wasn't really that surprised when he began to cry...loudly. The sorceress blinked, staring at Tyler curiously then turned back to Derek. "Does he always do that?"

Derek shook his head, still rummaging through the cupboards for a box of macaroni. "I think he really likes you." He glanced back at the titan, a mischievous smile on his face. "Then again, I wouldn't really want to leave your arms either." Derek laughed, not bothering to hide his amusement at Raven's flustered appearance.

The sorceress rolled her eyes at Derek's corny jokes. She turned her attention back to the screaming seven month old. He was so loud!

Raven sighed and began to tell him another story in Romanian, doing her best to ignore how the boy tugged and pulled at the silver chain dangling from her neck. It was a good thing she pocketed her earrings. Tyler might have pulled them out.

"So, Derek, what's with all the artwork?" Raven questioned as Derek sat down to feed Tyler.

"My sister-in-law works with antiques. So, there are times when the whole apartment will be cluttered with junk that needs to be shipped to her store."

Raven nodded, noticing for the first time how disgusting extremely soft pasta looked. She also realized that Derek had streaks in his hair….small reddish streaks in his hair that glinted in the sunlight. Had they always been there? Since when?

"Tyler's your nephew then?" Raven asked, hoping her voice didn't come off as nervous. The sorceress bit her lip, trying to hide the unwarranted relief at his nod.

Why should she feel relieved? It was stupid and uncalled for. Besides she was only his friend...nothing more. Raven didn't want to deny the disappointment. Denying an emotion doesn't make it disappear. As long as she didn't act on them...things wouldn't get out of hand.

Raven didn't want another complicated mess. She didn't want to revisit all the pains she acquired during her relationships with Malchior, Gabe and Robin. Giving in to emotions only served to ruin one's life.

"He's a cute kid." Raven said, a sad smile on her face. Yes, Tyler was cute...and it broke Raven's heart.

Words could not describe the longing, the wish for a child of her own...a child to name, cherish and nurture with pride. Wasn't it stupid, silly? What would she be doing with a child... especially without a job, or a house? How could she, a mere eighteen year old, raise a child?

But what did it matter...she could be the richest person in the world and still not have a child. It was impossible. Fate can be such a bitch sometimes... she wasn't even supposed to live this long. Maybe this was why she screwed up.

Azar warned her about this thing demons experience called 'heat'. But what good was a warning without having a solution to the problem? How does one fight a sickness, without having the vaccine or a cure?

Although she was warned about this 'heat', she never said anything about how to control it. Raven tried to meditate, tried to pray...nothing worked. It was humiliating...to have cravings that cannot be curbed. Perhaps this insatiable desire for a child is a symptom?

Raven clenched her fists. That insatiable desire...it was the only reason she snapped at Starfire''s revelation. Yes, it was wrong and yes, she should have controlled her anger. But why? Why would Starfire do such a thing?

Star didn't even discuss it...didn't even care enough to ask for advice. Didn't Star know that there are many people in this world who would do anything to have a child? Raven would have given anything to have that baby...to have been in her place. Forget Robin, forget what him or anyone thought.

Who cared about opinions and thoughts when your only desire was granted?

At least with Derek, he'd let her see Tyler. Let her play with him, hold him...see him grow up and be happy. If Tyler already had a family, Raven couldn't do any of those things.

She wouldn't belong.

**oOoOo**

"You sound…sad." Derek gazed curiously at Raven, trying to understand the pain in her violet eyes. She was sad, that much the man could tell, but why? And what would cause such deep sorrow in so short a time? Wasn't she smiling and carefree a few minutes ago?

She looked up, her violet eyes now blank and empty. "Do I? It's nothing."

Derek sighed, irritated at the way the sorceress hid and buried her emotions. At times, Derek was frightened...it made him feel that, Raven didn't really care about anything. It was as if she was alive...but not really living.

Simply going through the motions. Was that a good way to live? Didn't burying emotions have grave consequences?

Besides, what was the point of living if you can't feel? To be unable to feel the burst of happiness upon hearing your favorite song on the radio, the sense of sorrow after hearing tickets to the Super Bowl was sold out. To revel in the thrill of soaring through the air, suspended on nothing but a flimsy grappling hook, knowing it's the only thing between you and death. The rush of adrenaline after pilfering thousands of dollars in jewelry. (Probably only him though)

What was the point in living if one couldn't experience such things? It would be better off being dead, wouldn't it?

Derek pursed his lips, thoughtfully. What could have happened to Raven, that makes her feel the need to hide her feelings? Did she think there were unimportant? That no one would understand?

He thought her feelings were important...why else would he spend his nights on her windowsill, trying to understand the nightmares? Derek wanted to understand, needed to understand. It was the only way he could justify his obsession. The only way to explain his unhealthy curiosity about the half-demon.

Derek really cared...truly cared about how she felt, truly wanted to understand her hidden thoughts. But how could he, when she shut everyone out? How does one get across to someone so...shut off and unfeeling?

The man sighed tiredly. "You can't keep burying your emotions, Princess. I don't like it when you hide your feelings from me."

The teen's purple eyes widened, and a spark of amusement flitted across her face, only to be replaced by irritation. "From you?" A cynical laugh escaped her ruby red lips. "Just who do you think you are? Why do you care whether I hide my feelings or not? Are you not hiding things as well? Don't tell me what to do!"

Derek said nothing, his golden eyes still fixated on Raven's displeased face. He could see it now, that other side. The darkness that clouded her once clear eyes. The anger and malice that twisted her once smiling lips to a sneer of disgust. The way her hands clenched angrily and her shoulders stiffened. He saw it all.

It was threatening...and yet beautiful.

The man bit his lip. "Then... let's not hide things anymore." He stood and glanced out the window, eyes now watching the clouds crawl lazily through the empty blue sky. "I really like you Raven... I feel that we can be best friends... maybe more, if you'd give me the chance."

What was he saying? Wasn't this a bad idea? Why was his mouth moving on its own?

But it was too late. Too late to take back his words, too late to recant what he had just said. Derek clenched his fist, feeling foolish. It really wasn't a good idea, having Raven around. It wouldn't be long before she found out the truth, and she was too smart to deceive.

Hell, she probably knew already. Wasn't she able to read minds? There was a high probability that she had done so already. Derek couldn't bet on her understanding the situation...couldn't dwell on her being sympathetic to his plight. Would she even care?

He didn't want to become Red X...it wasn't his decision. He was simply the middle man, the one who did all the dirty work for the Justice League. The one who will end up in jail if he didn't comply, the person being blackmailed. And the one who will pay the price if caught.

No, Raven wouldn't understand...

Soft hands gently curled around Derek's arm, and the man turned sharply, his golden eyes drawn to Raven's violet orbs. His hand rose to the teenager's face, caressing the smooth pale skin. A shaky sigh escaped the man's lips as he lowered his head, gently planting a kiss on Raven's flushed cheek.

"Raven. Do you believe in fate?" Derek questioned softly, listening to the sound of Raven's gentle breathing.

"Fate." A tired laugh escaped the young woman's lips. Raven's fingers tightened around Derek's arm, and she looked away, resting her head against Derek's shoulders. "Fate is...such a bitch."

A smile toughed Derek's lips. "Yes, I guess it is." The man paused, arms wrapping tighter around the girl in his arms. He buried his face in her hair, taking the calming scent of lavender. "Is it strange, feeling like...like I've known you for a long time? Is that fate?"

Raven laughed softly. "Maybe we did know each other...long ago...in the past, before you became human, before I was put on a path of destruction. When we were free."

Derek bit back a sigh of frustration. "Why not now? Who says we can't be free now?"

Raven raised her head, violet eyes clouded with un-shed tears. Her hands tightened their grasp on Derek's arms, a momentary chill engulfing the young woman's skin. She opened her mouth to speak, her voice sorrowful and foreboding.

"All freedom comes with a price."

* * *

"Robin can I ask you a question?" Starfire had stood outside the Boy Wonder's door for hours…trying to work up the courage to tell the truth. She failed.

Then a brilliant idea popped into her mind. Instead of tell him the truth…what if she just asked him a question about it? Yea, ask him what he would do in that situation! But what if he figured it out? Maybe she should ask on the behalf of a 'friend'! Yes, brilliant, plan Starfire!

So why was she still afraid? Why was her heart beating a mile- a-minute…and why were her palms so sweaty?

"Starfire, you can come in. The door's unlocked."

She entered the room, glancing around quickly, noticing with sudden envy how tidy the room was. His clothes were neatly folded and sorted, lying in their respective places, waiting to be stowed into the closet. Everything was organized according to color and his shoes were testament to this.

They were lined meticulously, not a one out of place, each pair sitting proudly by the next as they decorated the edges of the closet floor. Even his desk was spotless, with pens lying just so against the clean, neatly stacked paper, pencils standing at attention in his Disney pencil holder, a gift from Beastboy.

The stack of books on his classy, oak shelf were alphabetized by the author names and the Green Day poster hung perfectly on the cream white walls. He didn't have a lot of posters on the wall like Raven...the many other posters he owned were all neatly laminated and stowed away in a huge poster album.

Starfire envied Robin's neat tidy room. She tried to keep it neat...but days of shopping eventually caught up with her and bags from Victoria Secrets, Charlotte Russe, Hollister and Belk just ended up clogging her living quarters. Sometimes she didn't have the time...or she was really tired and the like.

So how does Robin...who obsesses after everything manage to keep such a tidy room? His room was spectacular...in terms of cleanliness...any dorm room inspector would be proud. Not even Raven's room was this neat. _  
_

Finally getting over the neatness, the young woman sat beside him on the bed, ready to tackle this obstacle head on. Starfire took a deep breath and opened her mouth to ask, just as Robin's lips crashed down on hers.

Eagerly she kissed him back, stifling the guilt flooding in her heart. Her emotions whirled…the thrilling sensation of being kissed, jumbling and mixing with the remorse and self hatred.

When the two pulled apart, she rested her head against his chest, avoiding his masked gaze.

"What did you want to ask?" He pulled the earplugs from his ears and switched off his iPod, making Starfire wonder if his music was as ordered as his room. She wrinkled her nose at that thought...who would want to order a music playlist?

A playlist was supposed to be random, so every time a different song would play and new emotions would crop up. But she was digressing...again. "My friend is in a serious predicament…and I was wondering what she should do."

"What kind of problem?" He sounded fairly surprised and she wasn't sure if it was because of her use of the word 'predicament.'

"Well she kinda cheated on her boyfriend…and is unsure of how to tell him."

"Did she do it on purpose?"

"Oh no! She insists that it was an accident…and that her judgment was impaired."

"Well if your friend is really sorry about the whole thing, then she deserves to be forgiven."

"But-w-what if he doesn't? Forgive her I mean. What if he leaves her? What if he is so disgusted by her mistake that he vows never to have anything to do with her again?" By now the alien's voice was shaking and her eyes clouded with tears.

Robin looked down at Starfire, his voice full of concern and worry. "Star look at me. If he doesn't forgive her, he's just a jerk who didn't deserve her in the first place."

The Tameranian nodded but didn't seem convinced. "So, why did you break up with Raven? Did she cheat on you? Or did you cheat on her?"

**oOoOo**

Robin looked at the ceiling. How was he going to explain this to her? He glanced into her eyes, feeling rather surprised at the look of suspicion. She didn't trust him.

Robin bit his lip, not sure if he was hiding his laughter or concern. None of the Titans trusted him. They may smile and nod to what he says but he knows that deep down, they all question his authority...and wonder if everything he says is a cover-up or secret plan.

They don't voice it though...except for Raven. Robin fought the urge to growl.

Raven irked him to no end...she constantly challenged his authority, constantly found ways to belittle everything he said. And then she would stare at him, with those innocent looking eyes, and a silent smirk on her beautiful face.

_Her face...so beautiful and yet so...tormenting. _She was stubborn, relentless and aggressive... at least when it came to being ordered around. Robin couldn't stand such defiance.

He was used to being in control...used to giving orders. And used to people following them.

She was the exception...and she loved rubbing it in. Raven knew it grated his nerve, that such disrespect angered him...but she feigned innocence, and when confronted, only glanced at him through her pretty long lashes, her violet eyes innocent and pleading, her full, ruby red lips turned down in a seductive pout.

Only Robin saw the taunt, the mocking glance, and the smirking smile of triumph... Raven loved tormenting him, that much was certain.

He sometimes wished _(to his utter shame) _that he could beat the invisible smirk from her lips, to crush her insolent spirit, and to kill that mocking innocence in her violet eyes. Robin wished so much to break her defiance down..._to control her._

He shuddered, hating the way he sounded..._so much like Slade._

Raven probably had something to do with these strange questions. Robin sincerely hoped she didn't.

It wouldn't be good if he told her one thing…and Raven was filling her mind with completely different stuff. So he decided to stretch the truth...just a little. Starfire would never know, besides it's for her own good. She doesn't need to know what really happened...it's all in the past now.

"With Raven, things were different. When we were together…it was messing with her emotions. So we called it off."

Starfire wiped the tears from her eyes. "Really? She told me that you left her…for me."

Robin opened his mouth but she cut him off.

"Is this true Robin? I would really hate to be the cause of Raven's internal sadness. Because you know that she is sad, right? I know that sometimes Raven is out of control and you hate that…but she is only covering up that sadness in her heart. And I would be really distraught if we were the cause of it all."

Robin ran his hands through his hair several times. "I didn't intentionally leave her for you…if that's what you mean."

Starfire smiled. "Ok. I am glad to know that." She placed her head back on Robin's chest and closed her eyes… feeling an exhilarating sense of hope flood her heart.

Robin however was left with a distraught mind. As the Boy Wonder absently ran his hand through his girlfriend's red, fruity smelling hair, he couldn't help but wish for dark, violet locks, and the calming sent of lavender.

* * *

Park outings were rare for the teen heroes. There were many reasons for this fact , one of them being the unwanted publicity and curious park-goers.

But today was an exception. Terra had never gone on a park outing with them...and Beastboy wanted to 'show her how it's done.' So Cyborg packed some food, Starfire brought the Frisbee, Robin brought the football and Raven took along her book.

It was obvious who was going to have the most fun here. Terra, Beastboy and Starfie...the three naive and most childish Titans. Now granted Raven can be childish...but only if she wanted to.

Still the young woman didn't want to be a spoil sport so she put on her best fake grin and sat in the shade, playing 'Catch the Stick' with the shape-shifter.

Everything would have gone one in peace and silence...if the damned Frisbee stayed in one place. The team had warned her on several occasions that she should make a serious effort to control her anger.

And it was for a very good reason. Whereas before, Raven could simply meditate her anger away, now the anger she felt was purely her own. It was as if her demon half had merged completely with the young woman, making it nearly impossible to separate the feelings and emotions from the two separate entities within her.

Whatever she felt now was a product of both human and demon emotions...including anger. As a result, the force of her anger was now ten times as strong as before.

So when the Frisbee smacked into the old book she had been reading for what seemed like the umpteenth time, Raven snapped. Without thinking, the heroine had grabbed the offending object and flung it into the air...at breakneck speeds. Perhaps it wouldn't have been a problem. Starfire would just have to retrieve the Frisbee from the waterfront later that day.

Unfortunately...there was someone walking down the path that the Frisbee had taken. Terra paled. "You've really done it now Rae, looks like you're gonna have to tack on accidental murder to your list."

But Raven wasn't paying attention...she was staring in disbelief at the person who was in the Frisbee's deadly path. "Oh shit!" Raven grimaced, waiting to see the bloody impact. Would it hurt? Raven bit down on her finger, a tense look in her eyes. Maybe the damage wouldn't be so bad...and she could heal him. But, what if he died?

None of them anticipated that the man would catch it.

"OMG! RAVEN! HE CAUGHT IT!" Terra exclaimed in relief and happiness, then dashed out to apologize.

Raven buried the relief at the back of her mind and returned to reading her book, oblivious to the world once more.

"Hey Raven." Beastboy spoke up, and she did a double take. _Since when could he speak in animal form? __Oh, he's not_. Sighing, Raven turned to him, taking the stick from his outstretched hands.

"Tell your man to stop flirting with my girl."

The sorceress looked at the two then back at Beastboy and promptly smacked his head. "He's not my man, and go fetch." Raven threw the stick and laughed when the shape-shifter dashed after it.

"Green dog. There's something you don't see every day." The dark Titan looked up into Derek's dark shades. She smiled sweetly and motioned for him to sit down.

When he did, she grabbed his hand, suddenly interested in the purple-blueish bruise already forming. "How did you catch it?" The sweet, open friendly smile was gone, and in it's place was a dark look of suspicion. Only a bruise? No broken bones? How was this possible?

Derek rubbed the back of his neck a sheepish look in his golden eyes. "Reflex?"

"It was more than just reflex. I would know...I threw that Frisbee." Raven uttered, her voice icy and cold. Derek was hiding something, that much she already knew. Was this now her proof? Was this the evidence she needed to confirm her suspicion? Was he really the thief, Red X? Or was he simply a demigod, someone with unacknowledged powers?

"You threw that?" A look of annoyance crossed the man's face, then he laughed nervously. "Wow! You have...quite the arm. But seriously...it was just a reflex."

Raven cocked her head, still examining his bruised palm. "You take karate?"

"Black belt." Derek answered, his eyes strangely anxious and pleading.

Raven narrowed her eyes and shrugged, seemingly satisfied by his answer. She released his hand and returned to her book, only to have it snatched unceremoniously from her hands. Raven stared in annoyance as Derek scanned the pages, his eyebrows rising in surprise.

"Erotica? I never would have guessed."

"They have...interesting plot lines." Raven deadpanned, her stoic face a stark contrast to the twinkle in her violet eyes.

"I'm sure they do." He stared at her for a second, then flashed a devilish grin.

The two began to laugh, and Raven couldn't help the blush that colored her cheeks when Derek's hand grazed her arm lightly. Her violet eyes stared into the man's face, silently accepting his request.

Suddenly, Starfire dashed over and plopped into the sorceress' lap, a grin of pure happiness plastered on her face. The girl was breathless, and eager to start another game. "Come play football!"

Raven laughed at the alien's cheery voice, shifting so she could have better access to her friend's fiery red locks. Starfire could plait hair like no other...except her own.

No one blamed her as it was probably a challenging feat to braid hair that almost grazed your calves. The sorceress began to braid the long red hair using gentle but firm movements. "I assume you want a French braid? And what football, two hand touch?"

Starfire nodded slightly. "Yes, to the French braid. No, to the two hand touch. Robin says we can play tackle...as long as you don't lose your temper. Guess what! We're going to Gotham City! In like, two weeks!"

Raven decided to ignore the remark about the impending trip to Gotham. To put it bluntly, she was not excited in the least. Afraid was probably the emotion she was feeling.

Gotham was too full of the past...too full of threats, unpaid debts and...other things. Feeling irritated, Raven groaned slightly. "Why is he always worrying about my temper! Why can't he just leave me alone? It's not like I lost my temper the last time."

Starfire shifted in the young woman's lap and reiterated. "Well, do you remember the time when were playing football and you just wanted to meditate, then the ball landed in your lap and you sent it through the window? On both sides of the Tower? And it took Cyborg a week to fix the damage?"

Derek snickered and then burst into laughter at this revelation. Raven stared at the man, appalled at his open mocking. She punched him in the arm, a playful scowl decorating her features.

Starfire smiled briefly at Derek and continued, "He just doesn't want something like that happening again. Robin really does care, Raven. And he would never intentionally hurt you...you know that right?"

_Starfire just didn't know the half of it. Robin, not intentionally hurt someone? Not intentionally hurt me? How could she be so dense? How could Robin be so...secretive about...everything? _Raven pushed the girl from her lap irritably and stood up, dusting the dirt from her dark jeans.

"No. No, I don't know that. And don't ever tell me something like that again. Because it's just not the truth."

**oOoOo**

It amazed Derek how easily Raven could switch emotions. One minute she was happy, her voice was light and carefree...the next, cold, unfeeling and cryptic.

He looked at the red-haired girl and wasn't at all surprised to see her bottom lip trembling... he just wasn't sure if it was in sadness, or anger. Turning back, he watched Raven as she dusted off her dark Dereon jeans and stalked off, back stiff with anger and slender fists curled threateningly.

He had no doubt that those small fists could deal a lot of damage.

Looking at the two now, he could see how completely opposite the two were. The alien was a bubbly, young woman, with bright eyes , flashy red hair and an endless smile. She demanded attention, not because she asked for it, but because it was extended, like a gift, and naturally she accepted.

Raven on the other hand was quiet, calculating and mysterious. Calculating, because one never knew her thoughts, or emotions. Mysterious, because no one could predict her actions. Glancing at her stony face and blank dull violet eyes, it would be near impossible to determine exactly what kind of thoughts floated in her mind.

Yet, it was these qualities that made Raven beautiful in an exotic way. She was different, her features were not flashy and loud like her team-mate, but subtle, mystifying and foreign. Raven did not demand attention, rather she avoided it.

And by avoiding the one thing that many others craved to receive, she drew attention to her self.

It did not really surprise him in the least that Raven had a relationship with Bird Brain in the past. The two were strangely alike, both fighting on the side of justice as a way of gaining retribution for the darkness and wrong actions that surrounded their history.

Yes, he could tell this by watching Robin fight. He was an overachiever...someone who desires absolute control and the type of person who could not take no for an answer.

Robin was someone who often crossed boundaries to get what he wants. His suit was proof of that...but it only made him wonder what other actions had the 'Boy Wonder' committed in order to get what he wanted.

Maybe that's why he wanted Raven. Because he saw her as untouchable. Because she was a never-ending mystery that Robin couldn't solve. It probably irritated him, drove him off the edge...because Raven was stubborn, defensive and didn't let him in as much as he wanted.

Perhaps the two fought a lot because of it.

But if he wanted to understand he so much...why did they break up? Why did he settle with the highly emotional red-head?

She was beautiful, yes and probably very easy to control...but something told him the alien didn't really know of Robin's darkness. Then again, no one really knew what the boy was capable of doing. No one could see the hidden anger, the guilt and the incessant need to right all wrong-doings. He obsessed, pondered, to the point of insanity, only dealing with Starfire because she was persistent.

Perhaps if Robin only payed more attention to Starfire, he would see the type of person she was capable of becoming. Maybe he would see the fake naivete, the stupid way she displayed her ignorance and the calculating deception behind her perfectly innocent, jade eyes.

Why was she like that? So conniving and innocent at the same time? Derek shook his head, not really wanting to ponder the totally dramatized life of a superhero.

Glancing up, he paled when his eyes fell upon Raven, who had just landed a fist into Starfire's flawless face. And he wondered why the red-head even bothered. What did she say to set of Raven so...easily?

Why didn't Starfire just let it be?

Derek winced slightly when he watched Raven throw the red-head to the ground by the neck. Maybe he should intervene...or just sit back and watch.

He really didn't want to be on Raven's bad side now.

* * *

Such emotions...and such insight into the characters. I believe now I have explained the truth behind Raven's rather promiscuous actions. And shed some light into Robin and Raven's previous relationship thanks to our favorite thief.

I wanted to continue but I felt that this was a good stop point. So Gotham has been mentioned...as well as some of Raven's past. And Derek almost gave himself away.

Robin's character is coming out now...probably because you need to see how he is, to understand the reason behind his breakup with Raven.

Sorry to anyone who wanted the kid to be Derek's.

I know some of you may be wondering about that scene when Raven drugged Robin? I will explain in the next chapter...and expect a fight between the two.

Derek is awfully discerning, yes? Makes me wonder what else he knows...

Review!

~heartless16


	13. Chapter 13

**For all those who have been dutifully following this story...I thank you. Seeing your reviews mean a lot to me.**

**My writing seems to have changed drastically...and it's painfully obvious when looking back over the previous chapters. I have gone through and pretty much revised anything that I thought needed the change.**

**I would like to hear your thoughts. So when you have the time, please re-read the story and send a good long critique on what you think should be fixed. I love hearing your thoughts on the characters, the plot (which admittedly seems to be everywhere) and other stuff that makes a story fun to read. ****So please help me out.**

**Chapter 13**

* * *

"Why, Raven? What is wrong with you?"

Beastboy stuffed another cookie in his mouth, unable to look away from the scene in front of him. It was a trial, and Raven was the accused. Raven beat up Starfire, sweet innocent, Starfire. And Robin was royally pissed.

His emerald green eyes followed his leader as he paced; up and down, up and down, his fists clenching furiously and his jaw tight with rage. This was not going to end well. Fights between the two never did. Beastboy crammed another cookie, not bothering to chew with his mouth closed. Terra stood beside him, her hands clenching his arm in nervousness.

Terra was nervous. And Beastboy didn't really blame her. She had never seen the two fight full on...nor should she ever have to. Because it was never a pretty picture... sometimes it really seemed as if the two wanted to kill each other.

It reminded the shape shifter of those gladiator games that were always in those boring documentaries. They always said that the gladiators fought to the death...with no remorse or guilt. That description fit the two perfectly.

He hoped it wouldn't come to a fight...for Terra's sake. She really didn't need that kind of a rude awakening. Their fighting would only serve to prove how fucked up the team really was.

The Teen Titans were nothing but a dysfunctional group of teenagers, two with anger management issues, one that might as well be dyslexic, a cybernetic with a tendency to eat himself sick, an alien with a pretty serious case of attention deficit disorder and a new member who was brought back to life and still didn't know where to fit in.

But the way Robin was going on...there would be blood tonight.

**oOoOo**

The air was tense, and suffocating.

Derek could feel the anger stemming from Robin, the morbid fascination from the shape shifter, and utter fright from the blonde girl. The scene before him only served to confirm his thoughts. The two did fight, a lot it seems. Why else would every one seem so...normal about the whole thing?

Funny thing was, he couldn't sense Raven's feelings. At all.

It was as if she turned them off. He couldn't see her eyes so it was hard to tell. But the way she stood, with long wavy hair cascading down and obscuring her pretty face, arms clasped loosely behind her back...Raven seemed almost bashful, and innocent. As if she wasn't capable of assaulting her best friend.

He was reminded of the old Raven, the one with dimpled cheeks and an impossibly adorable smile. He missed that innocent face and the childish grin. Raven had grown up... and any cuteness that was once there had transformed to seductive beauty.

Those dimples were now replaced with sharp angles, and the adorable smile was replaced with sultry, crimson colored lips that screamed of temptation. It wasn't just her body that changed though...he could sense that something inside was different as well.

Before, the darkness in her mind was locked away, you couldn't tell it even existed. But now it was as if the darkness had become part of her...and it seemed she to be having the hardest time controlling it.

Seeing her angered punches, one would think it was just a meaningless cat-fight. But Derek could sense that it wasn't. He didn't want to think it, but Raven wasn't fighting just because. She was fighting to kill.

Robin's hands gripped the young woman's shoulders roughly. "Answer me, dammit! What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"Robin, let go." Her voice was quiet and deadly, hiding the anger Derek knew was resurfacing. Derek wondered why Robin didn't just do what she said. Because he could tell...Raven's temper was out of control.

It wasn't like the normal anger he felt from people. This anger was different, more intense and deadly. And since she couldn't control it, there was no telling how dangerous she could be.

He hadn't planned on interfering, nor did he have any intention of separating the two titans from their free-for-all. Because if whatever Starfire said to tick Raven off was that serious...it wasn't worth interfering. They could solve their own problems.

Derek was content to just let them duke it out...till he felt her control slipping...he sensed the blinding rage, and the thirst for blood. That intense anger, the suffocating lust for blood... wasn't Raven. And he was right when he looked at her face and saw for the first time her angered snarl, razor sharp teeth and crimson red eyes, seeping with the desire for blood.

Derek wasn't going to lie, it did freak him out. Because instead of her stoic face, or mischievous smirk, he saw her face contorted into a mask of death. It was then that he realized the harmless, kid-loving, shy, woman he knew was only one side. There was a completely different person, buried inside Raven's mind...and he couldn't help but want to see it.

But surely Robin must know of this other side...so why does he insist? Why does Robin insist on intimidating her, knowing that she caused his girlfriend to need thirteen stitches? Perhaps Robin didn't really care.

"Robin, LET GO!" She raised her voice, the frustration and irritation becoming more and more prominent.

"Dude, just let her go. Don't go itching for another fight." Beastboy cautioned, his worry finally becoming evident. Neither of them were expecting Raven to hurl him across the room. Robin hit the wall with a sickening thud, and Terra screamed, biting down on her hand in fright.

**oOoOo**

The Boy Wonder picked himself from the floor, ignoring the pain that stabbed through his head. Turning he locked eyes with the sorceress, who stood there, hands clasped behind her back, eyes sparkling with a strange fascination. A wave of anger washed over him.

How can she just stand there and not show any remorse for what she did? How can Raven just attack her own friend and not have an inkling of sorrow?

Were someone to look into his clear ice blue eyes, they would have seen smoldering anger...a stark contrast to the usual cool impassive look he adopted from his mentor.

Bruce had always told him that anger was man's greatest weakness. It clouds and corrupts the mind...leaving nothing but the burning desire of revenge. And the desire of revenge was like lust...never fully satisfied until acted upon.

Robin didn't have any motivation for revenge...quite the contrary, it was Starfire that should have the motivation, she was the one rightfully deserved it.

Then why was he trying to convince himself that whatever he was going to do to Raven was all in Starfire's name? If he were to wrestle her to the floor and destroy that innocent look from her beautiful face, it would all be justified? The thought only added to the boiling wrath in his heart, and the searing white cloud of rage that settled over his vision.

Raven always defied him...she was always trying to undermine him, she didn't respect him. He needed Raven to respect him...no, fear him. Raven had no fear...perhaps now he would give her that fear.

Make her beg for forgiveness...make her grovel at his feet for mercy.

**oOoOo**

Beastboy heard how Robin hit the wall and he was rather surprised to see him move. Wasn't he in pain? What if he broke something? Would Cyborg still make Raven heal him? He always did, saying stuff about how it wasn't effective to beat each other up when they had a city to protect.

So Raven always healed him in the end. Because she had too. He wondered if Raven even wanted to heal Robin...after the way he always treated her.

The shape shifter paled when he saw Robin confront her again, shoving the sorceress roughly to her knees, his fist raised threateningly.  
A grimace crossed his face, then fell into a mask of surprise as Raven began to laugh hysterically.

"Am I supposed to be afraid?" A sadistic chuckle escaped the sorceress' lips. "Go on, Robin. Hit me."

Beastboy's jaw dropped. This, this wasn't supposed to happen. Raven wasn't supposed to sound like this...so insane and Joker like. What was wrong with her? Why was she acting like this?

"I'm waiting, Robin. What, did you think I would cry? That I should beg for forgiveness?" Raven laughed cruelly. "Go on, Robin. I'll even turn the other cheek." At this Raven angled her face, taunting the angry titan before her. "Hit me, Robin. Hit me!"

Beastboy flinched as Robin viciously slapped the sorceress, and she fell to the floor laughing uncontrollably. The boy winced as Robin slapped her again, doing nothing to silence Raven's frenzied laughter.

He bit his lip, wanting to say something, anything to quell Robin's boiling rage. But what? What would he say? Maybe it was better to dive in himself, to do something...anything.

Anything to stop the madness.

He didn't expect Derek to jump to her defense.

**oOoOo**

Robin blinked, staring at the hand that gripped his fist._ Who the hell was this guy? _He glanced up, staring into a pair of dark tinted glasses, becoming even more flustered that he couldn't see his eyes.

The man was tall and muscular with really tanned skin and dark messy hair. He was familiar, like they had met before. He stared again at the hand gripping his fist. _Why won't he let go?_

"Look. It's obvious that everyone is riled up. Why don't you just take a break and when everyone's calm you can get some answers."

Robin narrowed his eyes. This was the man from the beach party...and he was the one who stopped Star and Raven from fighting. It was quite impressive, actually. Usually after Raven looses her temper, she vanishes.

Several days could pass before Raven would return with a penitent heart and no explanation whatsoever for her actions. It usually pissed him off. Because, what if they were called on duty and she was gone?

Raven was a big part of the team...like everyone else and there were missions that couldn't be completed without her. So for this man to have that kind of effect...he must be really important. And that ticked him off.

"Let go of my hand."

"Promise not to lay a finger on Raven, and we have a deal."

Robin blinked again staring incredulously and the man in front of him. Who the hell did he think he was? Resisting the urge to punch him, the Boy Wonder decided to agree. It would be better to calm down...and then apologize to Raven for once again losing his temper.

He didn't expect forgiveness...but at least asking would quell the sickening feeling of guilt he felt welling up in his heart. The teen swallowed tightly and spoke, hoping his voice didn't betray any emotion. "Deal."

Robin said nothing as Derek pulled Raven to her feet, trying to stifle his surprise at the look in Raven's eyes. Wasn't she supposed to be angry? Why was she staring at him that way...with eyes that dripped with insanity?

Eyes that looked like the Joker.

A shiver ran up Robin's spine. Since when did Raven have that kind of look?

He clenched his fists, saying nothing as those eyes continued to glare relentlessly, until they were finally engulfed by the darkness. As soon as the dark powers faded away, Robin collapsed to the ground, trying to calm his frightened heart.

* * *

Derek was silent as he stood by the window of Raven's room, staring at the woman before him. His eyes landed on the small glass cup, tightly grasped in her hands.

If she gripped the cup any further, it would break. "Raven, don't-" Glass shattered with a loud crack, and Derek flinched involuntarily, the sting of his father's hand piercing through his thoughts.

He stared at the young woman before him, golden eyes taking in the dripping blood. "Rae, why'd you do that?" Derek whispered, confused by the sorceress' strange actions.

Raven turned and stared at Derek, a strange glint in her violet eyes. She held up her hands, watching in morbid fascination as the blood slowly ran down her arms. And then, she smiled. "I wanted to feel the pain." The teen suddenly looked up, her eyes now round and questioning. "Why can't I feel the pain?"

Derek paled as he saw Raven reaching for the pair of scissors, lying casually on the desk. "No, Raven!" He reached out, grabbed the young woman's slender wrists and began to drag her towards the bathroom sink.

He wasn't expecting Raven's knees to give way and he fell to the floor with her, groaning softly as Raven tumbled into his arms. The man bit his lip, becoming flustered at her tears. What was he supposed to do? "Rae...please don't cry."

"Don't cry..." Derek's voice trailed off as images of his mother flashed through his mind. She cried...a lot. She cried when they were sent to the private school, cried every time she bought beer from the store and cried after enduring endless beatings from her drunken husband.

_'What was to blame for this outburst?' _ Derek wondered silently as Raven looked up at him, mumbling words that didn't sound English. And to his utter horror, he found himself understanding every word.

Raven was afraid...not of Robin but of someone else. Someone who looked exactly like Robin. And whoever he was tormented her...haunted her dreams and constantly invaded her mind. He was hunting her down...trying to take her away...

Derek didn't know what to make of the strange rambling. Why was she so afraid of this man? And what did he do to her that would inflict such fright? Why did he understand everything she said?

Suddenly she looked up, her face blank and eyes no longer teary. _'That was quick.' _Sighing in relief, Derek ran his hand through his dark messy hair. A hair cut would probably do him good.

Peering up, his eyes locked onto Raven's which, to no surprise, were blank and inexpressive. Those violet orbs, though impassive...were strangely flighty and unstable. Watching them was rather nerve-wracking.

And then she smiled. Derek was officially creeped out. "I want to thank you, for...stopping me." Her roving eyes seemed to be searching for something. _Something he probably didn't have._

"Raven, why. Why do you let him treat you like this?" Derek knew it wasn't the first time. He still remembered that day he came to the roof of the Tower and saw her curled up, battered and bruised. He didn't understand why at the time...

_It was cold that day and the wind came in gusts, spraying the salty ocean water into the air. The sun was hidden behind the clouds...darting out here and there as if teasing all those who looked to it for warmth. __It was not a day to be outside. Rarely did California get such a cold front. _

_So why was Raven on the roof, a considerably colder and windier place... and injured no less? __Red X bent down, staring at the young woman, noticing the rather nasty bruise on her left eye. "Raven, what happened to you?"_

_She startled, sitting up suddenly and hissing in pain. It seemed that it wasn't just her face...must have been a nasty fight. After a while, the heroine spoke tentatively. "It's nothing. Just a scuffle turned bad. You should have seen the other guy."_

_At this she smiled, trying desperately to disguise the pain in her violet eyes. Red X was not fooled. "Then why are you not with your friends getting treated?"_

_Raven turned away and said nothing, wrapping her arms protectively against the blustering wind._

_"It was not 'just a scuffle' was it." The thief drawled, suddenly becoming angered. "Raven who did this to you?"_

_She turned back, her eyes blank and passive. "It does not matter. Please leave me...I would not want you to get caught."_

_Red X cocked his head. " Was it Beastboy? Or maybe your naive alien friend?"_

_The sorceress laughed softly. "Do you really think they could beat me up this bad?" She shook her head, still staring out at the crashing waves. "Those two... fear me too much."_

_She made it sound like a bad thing, Red X mused. Then again, who would want to be feared by one you call a friend... "Robin must have been pretty angry, then." The thief bit his lip as he __noticed her back stiffen. Was he the one? Did he really beat up his own team-mate?_

_"I suppose...if it was Robin."_

_Red X eased down beside her on the cold concrete floor, placing his cape around her slender shoulders.. "I know it's Robin...there's no way in hell that Cyborg would do this to you." __He reached out, gently brushing his hand on her bruised face, His temper rising with every soft stroke. "__Why. Why'd you let him?"_

_"That does not matter." She said stiffly, pushing the thief from her side and standing up._

_The man watched her, his eyes noticing how she favored her right side. "He cracked a rib, Raven. What the fuck was he doing? Kicking you with his shoes?"_

_She flinched and he knew he was right. "Damn it Rae, why do you let him treat you like this?"_

The sorceress smiled sadly. "How else can I protect Starfire."

Derek snarled. "Don't make this about her. She is perfectly capable of taking care of herself."

Raven's eyes hardened and she placed a finger on his lips. "I do not expect you to understand."

_But he did understand. _Starfire try as she might, couldn't understand her own boyfriend. The teenager may pretend to understand, but in her mind, Robin was a puzzle, something that couldn't be solved.

Starfire couldn't understand Robin's dark tendencies...or cope with his destructive temper. So Raven took it upon herself, and became Robin's personal punching bag.

It was ironic really. In return for her selfless actions, she beats up her friend. Derek resisted the urge to laugh...because he was reminded once again of his fucked up childhood. His father made it pretty clear he didn't want him...but it was his mother who bore the brunt of that hatred.

Simply because that's what family does. And in a twisted way, Raven wanted to protect her friend...from what she loved the most.

**oOoOo**

Raven pushed away from the young man and walked to the window, staring out wistfully. She remembered...Derek was not the only one to ask that question.

_It was gloomy that afternoon when Raven returned, her hair no longer straight. It had frizzed from the heat of the other day, and now fell in darkened limp waves. The heroine grimaced. It would have to be washed tonight._

_It didn't matter though...Raven had fun She finally learned how to bowl and had the best milkshake in the city. __Life was good...or sh she thought. Raven didn't anticipate that Robin would be awake. __She frowned. The drug was supposed to work for seventy two hours...maybe it was stale?_

_"Raven, where have you been?" Robin's voice pierced the afternoon lull. He was angry...well it was to be expected._

_She squared her shoulders, not wanting Robin to think she was intimidated by his wrath. "I went to see a friend...and we went midnight bowling."_

_"You drugged me Raven. Why?" As usual, Robin was straight to the point. Good, the sooner she could wash her hair, the better._

_"You need to stop getting so riled up about Red X. Besides, it's not like he's a serial killer...he's even saved me twice now. You can't deprive yourself of sleep every time he comes around, Robin. It's not good for you or the team."_

_Robin snarled pushing his teammate to the floor. "Don't tell me how to run my team!"_

_Raven blinked, her face once again blank and indifferent. "I was just trying to help."_

_"Well I don't want your help!" His steel toed boot caught her in the chest, and she bit back a cry of pain. __Unfortunately this only served to anger Robin even further..._

_It was really bad timing...because tonight the full moon was out. Raven loses her powers every full moon. Which meant that Robin's temper tantrum was really gonna hurt this time. It wasn't like the Boy Wonder got away scott free, though. She gave him some injuries to mull over as well. _

_Still, R__aven figured it was best not to let anyone find out. __So despite the unusually cold weather, she decided to sit out on the roof and wallow in her sorrows. That was admittedly better than having to deal with an enraged Cyborg._

_The sorceress certainly wasn't expecting__ Red X to show up on the roof that afternoon...nor did she expect him to gently bind her injured chest and wrap her bruises. But as his gloved hands ghosted along her torso, Raven found herself wishing... that they weren't on opposite sides._

_ He cared enough to risk getting caught...simply to help her._

_But, despite all of his good deeds, Robin would never see him like she did-someone who understood her. And Raven also knew that it was impossible to try and get him to switch sides. (She did ask at one point. It seemed he had his own reasons for being a vigilante...) It pained her to know that as close as they were...it would never work._

_Still she was grateful that he cared enough to dress her wounds and vow revenge on the Boy Wonder. It wasn't like she needed the attention, since by morning she'd be back to normal...but it was the thought that counted._

The sorceress slowly trailed a finger down the window, watching as her blood stained finger smeared the clean glass frame. Starfire...why does she need protecting?

Wasn't she skilled in the art of being a conniving bitch? She managed to conceal a pregnancy and abortion for nearly five months...she didn't need to be protected anymore.

Of course, once Robin found out...the game would be different. It would be less of protecting, and more of 'making sure Robin doesn't kill anyone in his rage'. Raven knew the Boy Wonder wouldn't sit still when he figured out the truth...

Maybe this whole situation was beyond her control? Maybe she should just leave Starfire to fate. If fate was kind, Robin would never learn the truth. Then again, when was fate ever kind? Hell, Robin probably knew already...

Damn it all!

Damn Starfire and her obliviousness, damn Robin and his obsessions!

Raven turned back to Derek and stared at him, her eyes once again appearing panicked and flighty. "Do you ever feel trapped...held down by life? Have you ever wished to be free?"

**oOoOo**

Derek blanched. Because that statement sounded... strangely suicidal. He hoped that he was wrong...that her reasons for staring out the window were view related...and not pertaining to jumping.

Besides, Raven could fly...so wouldn't it be rather useless to try and jump out of a five story building? Either way, there was something seriously wrong with Raven. She just wasn't herself.

"Depends on the freedom, love. Exactly what kind did you have in mind?"

Raven turned back to the window. "Is any freedom not the same thing? Freedom of soul, of speech and of choice...they are all the same. Freedom lets you be...you. Haven't you wished you could be... yourself?"

Derek looked at her. She made a lot of sense. And he did wish he could be himself... it was all he ever wanted. The chance to make a difference, the chance to accomplish whatever he wanted.

The chance to throw away his past, give up the job of Red X. The chance to pay all his debts and be free. All he wanted was one chance...just to be himself... _Just one chance._

The young woman looked back into his eyes with a beautiful smile and Derek was reminded of her once innocent dimpled grin. "You understand me. You know how I feel. I can be myself around you. Together, we have freedom."

The feeling was mutual.

* * *

There was a different scene in the main room. Normally, it would be Robin standing and debriefing the team, and they would be sitting attentively listening to his every word. Because he was the leader and it was part of the game to follow the leader.

This time, things were different. There was no team, no leader giving commands and no attentive worshipful team . Instead it was Robin, sulking on the couch, with Starfire towering menacingly above him. She was furious...and rightfully so. Who wants to hear that your boyfriend was ganging up on your best friend?

So Starfire sat him down...in order to 'set the facts straight'. He wasn't cooperating. "Robin, please listen to me...I will not be angry. I just want know if what Terra said is true. Did you really hit Raven...because of me?"

He sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time. "Yes."

"Dear X'hal! Robin, you do not need to do such things to avenge me. Besides, it was my fault. I should have never said such mean things to Raven."

Robin turned, suddenly curious. "What did you say?"

Starfire stared at her boyfriend with surprise. "It does not matter. I never want to hear anything about you and Raven fighting. You two mean a lot to me...and I would not want to have to choose between you...it would break my heart."

Robin bit his lip. Could he really make such a promise...could he really trust himself not to fight Raven, when every action of hers seemed like a silent challenge? He hated fighting with Raven...the two were best friends once, and they seemed to be in sync...the bond the two shared was inseparable.

Things changed when he started seeing things differently...he started seeing Starfire differently. At first, he ignored the feelings...because at the time such things weren't important to him.

Robin didn't need a relationship...not when he had Raven. Still, it didn't feel right to him. So he broke up with Raven...at least called off whatever relationship they had. Because it all confused him...he didn't know what to think.

And Robin could tell, Raven was confused as well. She didn't understand her feelings towards him either, and Robin didn't want to lead her on...or give any impression that he was cheating. He knew that Raven was hurt by the decision...but it was for their own good. If things turned sour...it would mess with the team. And Robin wouldn't allow his team to fall apart because of emotions.

As to why he even began dating Starfire in the first place? It was never really official...everyone thought it, and he did have feelings for her (even though they were mostly physical) but that night in Tokyo when he thought she would die...it made him realize...she did mean a lot to him.

And Robin wasn't going to let her go...he couldn't afford losing another close person in his life.

Robin resisted the urge to sigh. It was probably around then that Raven drifted apart...and suddenly every action of hers seemed hostile. Could they have been?

Maybe. But Robin was convinced that most of it was in his head. But was that any reason to beat her up...to wish that her flighty and uncontrollable spirit was his to command? To demand absolute obedience from her...when he knew it would be impossible?

Raven did give him her body...but she never offered him her soul. Robin laughed wistfully. Too bad it was the only thing he wanted.

"Robin, I have not received an answer. Do you promise?"

"I don't know."

* * *

A light scuffling in the corner of the darkened room startled Derek. It seemed that despite the open blinds, Raven's room was always shrouded in gloom...He was not expecting to see the impassive red eyes of Argent.

Yes, Derek did remember her. It was hard for him not to forget a face...especially when hers was so similar to Raven's. The two shared so many similarities that did not only pertain to the pale skin and odd colored eyes.

Right now seeing her standing in front of him, hands resting on rounded hips and lips turned down in an attractive pout, reminded him so much of Raven.

She crossed the room and shutting the heavy looking drapes, pulled Raven into an embrace, her glittering red eyes taking on a concerned and worried look. The young woman's hand flitted lightly across Raven's neck, and Derek watched in astonishment as the sorceress slumped in her arms.

Derek pursed his lips. Perhaps there was more to Argent than he realized. To the untrained eye, it may seem that Argent was simply hitting pressure points...but Derek wasn't naive.

Either Raven had an _extremely_ sensitive neck...or Argent had an uncanny talent for taming half demons. Right now Derek wasn't sure which, exactly, but he'd figure it out eventually.

He always did.

The stagnant pause in the room was softly punctuated when the red head whispered. "You shouldn't have to see Raven like this."

Derek blinked, watching as the young woman hoisted Raven into her arms and silently padded into the darkness, her light breathing the only indication she was ever in the room. "What do you mean...'like this'."

The red-head chuckled softly as the lights flickered on, giving Derek a more detailed view of Raven's room. It was still the same as the last time, with the dark colored furniture, soft plush flooring, and a killer view of the ocean. Gazing at the walls, Derek resisted the urge to whistle.

Posters, paintings and other wall art decorated the white colored walls to the extent of obsession. And the variety was huge. There were posters of rock bands, rap artists and other musicians, sketches and paintings of buildings, people and random objects...most of them hand drawn.

She did seem to draw a lot..so they could have been hers. Some were bright and colorful, other were gloomy and depressing. Others...were just plain strange. Like the one Raven had hanging beside her closet door that depicted what seemed to him like...an execution? Perhaps he was looking at it wrong?

But what amused him the most was the center poster of that Twilight movie...with a half naked Taylor Lautner. Yes, it was amusing...but only because Raven didn't seem to be the obsessive fan girl type.

Then again...there obviously was much about Raven that he would never understand. Or he just didn't get the Twilight hype. Probably both. Why did he even know the name of that guy?

Oh yea...annoying cousin. She was only thirteen, and when the movies came out, obviously freaked. It didn't matter then cause those were her favorite books... before this vampire craze swept her school and ultimately, the nation. Now...it was the only thing that kept her alive.

"Ignorance doesn't suit you, Derek. I believe you know very well what I speak of."

_ Why did she have to sound so damn cryptic!_ "She did seem a little out of it"... He mumbled, still trying to make sense of yet another poster. _Tha Carter 3? Since when?  
_  
The young man shook his head and sat down in the swivel office chair by the bookshelf. And such a comfy office chair it was...What else did Raven have lying around her room?

_Like that mirror!_ He hadn't seen that mirror in a while. It seemed important...but then again, so was the value. If those rubies were truly real...he could retire and never have to steal again.

"Yes. I suppose she would have." Argent's voice had gone from indifferent to one of anguish. "Raven's mind is...falling apart."

The office chair spun to a halt. "Falling apart?"

* * *

**(I was listening to Let Me Be Myself by 3 Doors Down when writing some parts of this.)**

**I felt that this last part was forced. (Tell me if it's awkward.)**

******We know a little bit more about "Him." I tend to drop in little hints...and foreshadow a lot. While I do plan on revising past chapters, those hints will still be there. They may seem oddly placed but just know that "He" will become important as the story progresses. (At least that's what I have in mind.)**

**Please review and tell me if I should add some Beastboy/Terra action. I also feel that Cyborg is missing...maybe I'll put in some commentary on his behalf (And yours).**

**Review! :)**

**~heartless16 **


	14. Chapter 14

**Again...forgive me for the lateness. Please re-read the past chapters. I don't believe you will be lost or anything...I just want your input about what I was revising. **

**Chapter 14**

**Disclaimer**: chapter one should have it

* * *

Argent. She was a puzzle, someone that Derek couldn't seem to understand. For one thing, she always seemed to just appear...most of the time out of thin air. Right now was a perfect example, seeing as he had been in Raven's room for almost a half hour...before noticing that Argent was even present.

How could she have gotten in? Especially when the windows and doors were closed. How could he, a seasoned veteran in the art of stealth, have missed the signs? It was impossible...his paranoia was too perfect. Argent had to have been here from the beginning, Derek concluded. He was too wrapped up in what was going on to notice.

Another puzzle surrounding Argent was her seemingly overbearing attachment to Raven. Perhaps it was less of an attachment, and more of an extremely close friendship, Derek really couldn't tell. Still, he never saw Argent when Raven wasn't around. And when the two were together, their affection for each other was painfully obvious.

That day Raven dragged him to the beach, he wasn't really expecting a reunion. From what she told him on the way, it was simply 'the team getting a day off.' There were about six people on their team...so he really wasn't expecting almost twenty people. Derek didn't really care, he had been dragged against his will... and besides, he got to see a different side of Raven that day, the carefree childish side.

She had taken him around the beach, shown him a large collection of seashells she had collected over the months, even given him a few 'as a memento.' While it had been a nice and friendly gesture, Derek often wondered where he stood, at least when compared with Argent.

It wasn't like he was looking for a relationship...although his brother was always harping about settling down soon. His exact words were "You'll be thirty before you know it."

Was that supposed to reassure him? Sure he did get around some (OK, quite a lot) but it wasn't like he had completely thrown the prospect of marriage out the window...Derek decided that now just wasn't the time.

All he wanted with Raven (at least he told himself this) was to be her friend. Still, he couldn't help the jealous feeling that crept into his mind as he watched Raven and Argent lazily strolling along the seashore, hands clasped tightly together and gentle knowing smiles; nor the dirty thoughts that entered his mind at the sight of Argent gently rubbing sun tan lotion up Raven's creamy white thighs.

He couldn't help wondering how soft her skin would feel in his hands; he fantasized about the sweet peachy taste on her lips, and what it would be like to...

**CRASH!**

Derek's thoughts fled as several heavy books tumbled from Raven's crammed shelf. His eyes rose slowly from the floor before finally resting on Argent clutching a dusty old picture album. The teenager looked back at him scathingly. Derek resisted the urge to laugh.

"Looks like I'll have to start from the beginning...I hope you have the time." Why was she so...hostile all of a sudden? Maybe one of those books hit her foot? Running his hands through dark tousled hair, the young man sat down beside Argent on a small dusty couch, slightly hidden in yet another corner of Raven's room.

Really this was getting too much. How big was this place? You'd think there were secret passageways hidden in the walls. The teen beside him sneezed as dust escaped the old album. When it finally cleared, Derek was finally able to see the old photos.

He was startled, to say the least. Who would believe that this sweet looking bubbly kid was Raven? The cute dimpled grin, frilly doll looking outfits and small magic wand...did not seem like the Raven of now. When did she stop smiling? When did she stop having fun?

He flipped the pages again, this time gazing at numerous temples and tall spiraling buildings. They looked like nothing he'd seen...on earth. "Where's this?"

Argent looked at them. "This is Azarath. It is in another dimension...that's where she was born." She smiled slightly. "I wanted to go there once, but Raven wasn't 'ready'. Something about her mother and a fight."

He nodded solemnly, pointing at another picture. "This is her mother?" Funny, she didn't look like Raven's mom. More like a sister. Frankly the similarities between the two were eerie. Now he knew where her dimples had come from.

Chocolate. There was a lot of chocolate in the pictures, many consisting of elaborate chocolate candies or the sweet dark substance, smeared on a young Raven's face. Derek understood now, her strange fetish for the treat. It seems like that's all she ate growing up.

The red haired teen beside him chuckled. "She's still like that sometimes. Raven can eat that stuff for days. It's sickening. If you ever do get her chocolates, they have to be dark."

"Who said anything about getting chocolates?"

Argent laughed, flipping the pages to yet another stage in Raven's life. She was a little older now, more serious and apparently learning kendo. Her cute innocent smiles were less now, and her mother seemed to be less and less involved. In the few pictures they were together, Derek could almost sense a tension and hesitance...something that wasn't there before. He couldn't understand why.

"Raven was about seven or eight when her powers started causing trouble. After something happened to her babysitter, she was sent to live with a priestess. She couldn't see her mother for a little while."

Derek bit his lip. "What happened to the babysitter?"

"She was killed...and everyone thought Raven was responsible. They wanted Raven to confess but she couldn't remember anything." Argent flipped a few more pages, before stopping, this time at several photos of what seemed to Derek like a wedding ceremony.

The pictures depicted a neat, well manicured lawn, white lace canopy and orange flowers...the kind his cousin Jessica called marigolds. He looked closely at the people standing beneath the fancy covering. The boy in the picture was young-looking, like someone who had barely started high school.

His hair was blond and his eyes were a dark shade of green. The boy was smiling in the picture,however, it seemed to be a strained and uncomfortable smile...like someone who hated taking pictures and was forced. He obviously wasn't happy about the ceremony.

The girl in the picture was wearing a white lace dress with long flowing sleeves. She also had a strained smile on her face, and Derek could see the bouquet of flowers in her hand wilting under her angry grasp. This was Raven...he could tell that much from the hair and eyes, but who was the boy?

Why was she getting married?

**oOoOo**

Argent bit her lip at the confused and appalled look on Derek's face. How was she going to explain this? "When Raven turned ten, they decided to marry her off. The temple priestesses thought that if Raven wasn't 'pure', her father wouldn't want her anymore."

_'That definitely wasn't the way to explain it'_, Argent thought, mentally slapping herself. Derek's eyes were smoldering, and the teen watched as he clenched his jaw several times...probably trying to calm down.

"I-It's not like they gave her away to some random person. The boy in the picture was her best friend." It was to be expected...Argent could sense that he liked Raven... probably more than he would admit. Maybe what she said wasn't the best of explanations, but it did calm him down a bit.

"What happened to him, the boy in the picture?" His quiet voice saddened Argent. Was he sad for Raven...or for himself? She really couldn't tell.

"He died about two years later. He had leukemia...everything they tried failed. When he died, Raven swore never to fall in love again."

"How old was she when she came to earth?"

Argent bit her lip, trying to calculate. "Well, time on Azarath is different, so I'd guess about thirteen or fourteen? Anyway, she arrived in Gotham, and lived on the streets for a while... till she met Erik."

"Who's Erik?"

"Someone who took her in, let her go to school...promised he'd take care of her." Of course it was all a lie...I don't know all that happened, Raven wouldn't really tell me. But after a while she ran away, he's been looking for her ever since."

"I'm still failing to see how any of this has to do with her mind falling apart."

Of course he was...everyone was failing to connect the dots. But the red-haired young woman couldn't blame them. Not many people knew that vampires existed. And even fewer knew about their unique powers and abilities. She couldn't tell Derek this...he was a civilian, and knowledge of vampires was technically classified.

Argent nodded. "Well, I'm not sure how exactly, but he does have some powers. And you know how Raven can read minds? Well, he can do that too, and for the past year or so, he's been trying to enter her mind...by force.

Forcibly entering someone's mind can be painful...and Raven's been trying to hide it by taking everything from pain killers to sleeping pills."

Derek grimaced finally understanding what he saw all that time ago. Those haunting violet eyes, her small shaking hands and the bottle of pills.

"I've never told anyone this...and she trusts you." Argent wrung her hands nervously. "His persistence is becoming something of a burden. She's throwing so much time into holding him back...everything else in her mind is falling apart. There are times when she can't distinguish what's in her mind from reality. Thing is...Raven doesn't seem to care."

"I tell her that she needs to fight back, only then she'd be free." Argent sighed, her red eyes clouding. "Raven sees nothing but terrible things in her life...things she regrets. Raven can't see happiness anymore. She refuses to see the love around her...and it's tearing her mind apart."

* * *

"You don't know. Robin how can you not know? Is it that hard to not fight Raven?"

His blood pressure was rising, at this rate; he'd die an early death. Why can't Starfire just fuck off? Standing, Robin crossed the room, resting his head on the cool glass.

He didn't mean to pick fights with Raven...they kinda just happened. He'd grate her nerves, she'd punch him...and of course he'd hit back...it went both ways.

Many people mistakenly believe that abuse in relationships were one sided. Unfortunately, that wasn't always the case with everyone. He wasn't condoning his behavior...on the contrary he was quite ashamed. Bruce warned him about his rash temper and impatience. His mother warned him as well. She often told him that anger never solved anything.

To be completely honest, he was surprised the very first time Raven gave him a black eye. It was totally unexpected. He couldn't even remember what the argument was about. Of course if he hadn't pushed her into the wall...nothing would have happened. But Raven was willing to stand up to him...despite the fact that he was the leader and everything. She defied his authority and refused to give him respect.

It was a welcome challenge.

Robin sighed. They were best friends at times, they were lovers at times...but they often fought like enemies. He wanted to let her go, wanted to move on...but found it impossible.

"Robin, perhaps we should take a break...give each other 'the space'. So you can work out your differences with Raven."

The Boy Wonder laughed cynically. "Why do you make this all about me? You think I don't know...about your crush on Speedy."

Starfire paled. How could he have found out? Only Raven knew what happened...how could Raven betray her like this? She promised!

"How did you know?" She must tread carefully, act innocent. Perhaps he didn't know the whole truth...perhaps he didn't know about the abortion. If he did...she was doomed.

"Starfire, I'm not stupid.I see how you look at him. I suppose it is partly my fault...I never meant to ignore you. " He turned, his masked gaze suddenly sending chills down the alien's spine. He seemed so frightening at this moment..."I won't be mad if you choose him...after all, I was the one who ignored you first."

He won't be mad...so why was there this evil aura in the air? Why did Starfire feel that Robin was just an inch away from losing that calm, cold exterior that he always displayed?

Why did she feel so relieved? Robin was her first love...he was someone she wanted to be with, so why would her heart leap for joy at the prospect of leaving him? Was it because she was guilty? Guilty of lying and betraying him?

"R-Robin...I don't want to leave you. I don't want to give up on what we had to-" She was cut off as Robin replied swiftly.

"What we had together?" The Boy Wonder chuckled softly as he trailed a gloved finger down the huge glass window. "You gave up on that the minute you two started messing around." Robin's voice was cold and cryptic...he sounded so much like Raven right now. "I know everything Starfire.."

The alien bit her lip, hoping her hands weren't trembling. Wasn't she supposed to be interrogating him? When did the tables change? Why was she the one caught red-handed? Did Raven tell him what had transpired that night?

Robin wasn't even there! He had gone on a trip to Gotham...and a day or so after he departed, Raven and Beastboy decided to throw a huge party. One with booze and loud music...the kind you would see in movies.

There was strip poker, beer pong and somewhere in between, Starfire had sex with Speedy. She couldn't even remember what had transpired that night...the alien had simply woken up with a horrible headache and a naked Speedy beside her.

Robin had come back a week later and punished Raven and Beastboy when he found pictures of what happened. He never said anything to Starfire...perhaps he just assumed that she wasn't involved.

"W-what is this 'everything' you speak of, Robin." Starfire questioned, hoping the innocent look was fresh in her eyes. It used to work before...Robin always gave in to the innocent look. Perhaps this would be no different. He would realize that he was wrong and then this threatening aura would go away.

Robin's mask suddenly took on a frightening look as he took several steps toward her, doing nothing to hide the hideous smirk on his lips. Starfire never knew Robin could be so...scary.

Suddenly, Starfire realized that there were things about Robin that she never understood. This strange suffocating aura was one of them. Robin had always seemed like a calm peaceful person, someone who preferred negotiations over heated confrontations. The Robin Starfire knew would never lash or hit anyone out of anger...nor would he possess this kind of evil aura.

It was one of the reasons why she refused to believe that Robin would ever hit Raven. She had assumed it was Raven that instigated all their fights. Could she have been wrong? Could that have been the reason Raven grew angry when she proclaimed that Robin cared?

Starfire cringed as Robin began to trace his finger up her arm. Shivers ran up her spine. Why was he acting this way? His hands were cold...deathly cold. The kind of cold that no doubt gleamed in his hidden eyes.

Robin never showed her his eyes...which meant that he didn't trust her, right? What else could explain his obvious attempts to hide them?

Even when the two were alone...his eyes stayed behind that mask. From the beginning...Robin never trusted her. Exactly what did she mean to the Boy Wonder? Was she just a toy, something to pass the time with? Was she simply a replacement for Raven, whose shoes she would never be able to fill?

Starfire gasped when Robin's cold hands gripped her arms tightly. His warm breath tickled her neck and his hot, wet lips seared her skin. What was he doing? Why was he scaring her like this? Why was her mind clouding at his touch? What was he trying to tell her? Did this mean she was forgiven?

Starfire cried out when he sank his teeth into her neck. His kisses were demanding and rough, while his hands continued to keep her in place. She couldn't move, she was trapped. Why was he doing this? What was Robin trying to prove?

Suddenly, Robin pushed her away and she fell to the floor, biting her lip against the pain. Robin was scaring her...something that had never happened before. His mask seemed more ominous than it usually did and the alien held her breath, as she felt blood trickle down her neck.

"You underestimate me, Starfire. Did you seriously think I wouldn't figure it out?" Robin laughed, an amused smirk on his now red lips. He didn't know how much he sounded like Slade. "You have no fear...did you seriously think that I couldn't hurt you? That because I actually loved you I would simply forgive and forget?"

"R-Robin, please...forgive. Forgive me..."

The Boy Wonder laughed sadistically. "Forgive? But Starfire, what if I don't want to forgive? What if I want you to suffer...to be eaten by your guilt? What if I want you to regret everything?"

"Robin, please! You don't understand how bad I feel! You don't know how much I'm regretting what I did! Ro-" The Tameranian stopped speaking abruptly, when Robin's finger touched her lips. She held her breath, frightened at what he would do next.

Softly he whispered in her ear, his words chilling her to the bone. "Tell that to the child you killed. It needs your forgiveness more that I do."

Starfire clasped her hands around her aching heart as Robin left from the room. Her chest heaved as she drew in difficult breaths. It hurt to breathe...her guilt was slowly killing her. "Sh-she needs my for-forgiveness."

Starfire burst into tears.

* * *

A tense silence filled Raven's room, causing Argent to nervously bite her fingernails. Derek had been quiet for some time now, perhaps it was too much to take in. Maybe she should have left the whole marraige thing out. Or just skipped the whole Erik part.

His male pride would no doubt cause him to start searching for the man...a typical Robin move. She couldn't let him do that...to fight against a vampire one-on-one would be suicide. Especially since he was human.

Neither of them spoke as the bed covers rustled quietly behind them, and Raven sat up, her eyes glaring intensley at Argent's back. It was unnerving, so much so that the red haired teenager finally spoke out in a frustrated voice. "Raven, please don't do that. It really creeps me out."

The sorceress sighed, perhaps more from defeat than from tiredness. "When I told you to keep me in check, I didn't mean to drag someone else into my problems. He has nothing to do with this..."

Argent groaned in annoyance. "How else was I supposed to help you! Did you really think that hiding things would somehow make the problem go away? Did you seriously think that no one would notice your obvious mental instability? Starfire already knows...and if she tells Robin you'll be quarantined. And then what will you do?"

Raven's purple eyes danced in irritation...and her red lips turned down into a frown. "I don't see how dragging an innocent man into this will help me. You of all people know what Erik is...so tell me why should he help? Explain, since I am apparently too stupid and incapable of reasoning anymore. Enlighten me, Argent."

The honorary titan bit her lip, sensing that Raven was no longer in any mood to listen. It always amazed the young woman how Raven's emotions flitted back and forth. Usually, her mood swings were almost impossible to detect, seeing as her voice never betrayed any feelings whatsoever.

Her face, and body were equally as expressionless...but her eyes were a completely different case. Raven's vibrant purple eyes were filled with expression, they glittered when she was happy and amused, and they often smoldered when she was angry and annoyed. Now, they raged with a silent foreboding wrath.

Argent looked at her brown leather designer boots. Perhaps now would be a time to keep silent. Let Rav

en's anger wear off and then address the issue once more. The young woman glanced up, only to stare into the golden eyes of Derek. Funny, she never noticed how...intense his eyes were. Perhaps it was the glasses. She raised an eyebrow...why was he looking at her like that?

"Argent...I'm curious. Why exactly did you think I could help Raven?" His face was blank and expressionless, but his eyes glittered with amusement and mischief.

Raven snorted in annoyance. "Please, playing dumb doesn't suit you. Did you really think I couldn't connect the dots? Did you seriously think you could hide your double life from me?"

Argent's eyes widened when she saw Derek pale slightly. So Raven was right! She kept insisting that there were familiar things about Derek...things that only tied in to Red X.

Argent had refused to believe any of it. The whole idea was absurd in her mind. If Derek really was Red X, then why did he keep spending time with Raven? Why was he always saving and helping her? Wasn't that just giving himself away?

The young man sighed. "Nothing gets past you, Princess." The look on his face wasn't one of defeat or anxiety. It was strangely...calm and peaceful. As if he'd been waiting for this to happen.

Raven scowled at the nickname. "Of course...no one else in California has such a strange accent."

**oOoOo**

Derek sputtered. "St-strange accent! I have an accent? Since when?" This was news to him. No one had ever said anything about an accent before... then again Derek couldn't forget the strange knowing nods that were often routine when he said he was from Canada. Derek could never understand them.

Argent nodded emphatically. "Yes, your accent _is_ rather peculiar...I believe that you are from up North? Like New York? Or maybe Vermont?"

Derek groaned inwardly. "I grew up in Canada." Why were the gods against him? How could he have gone through such pain to hide his identity, only to be discovered because of his accent? Was it that noticeable?

Perhaps the frequency on his voice scrambler needed to be edited. Derek sighed with regret. He should have gone with the Darth Vader sounding machine...no one would have noticed him then.

Raven's eyes glittered with interest and she rattled of a few sentences in French. Derek replied before he could restrain himself. _Damn instinct._

"So you do speak French! But, not everyone in Canada speaks it, right?" For someone so knowledgeable...Raven didn't know much about Canada.

"No, not everyone. French is spoken in Quebec, and that's where I grew up...at least for the most part."

The sound of the air conditioner hummed through the room, filling the strangely comfortable silence. The birds flew lazily passed Raven's window, as the clear blue sky began to change into a dusky orange-red color. It would soon be dark...

Raven bit her lip. "Derek, what Argent says is true...and while I don't think you can help me, it wouldn't hurt to at least explain." She chewed on a finger nail for a moment before she spoke. "I have been keeping track of everything you steal...and somehow, it always ended back up where it belonged. I also know that all those stuff you steal...somehow gets into the hands of wanted traffickers before they are returned. I don't know who you are working for...but in the end, you are on our side."

Derek's eyebrow rose in surprise. She's been keeping tabs on him? How did she get the clearance to even track those stuff in the first place? Mr. Kent promised that 'all evidence leading to you will be destroyed.' "What exactly do you want me to do?"

The sorceress's purple eyes were somber as she spoke. "The Justice League has been trying to track down Erik for sometime now...they know everything about him, but without proof, he can't be apprehended."

Her voice dropped to a whisper...one that seemed more fearful than in control. "Erik is not someone to be double-crossed. He's after me cause I know everything. He is dangerous...and I do not want anyone to get hurt on my account. Therefore you must be careful who you steal from, and where it goes. Erik can read minds..."

Raven's voice trailed off for a long time. Time seemed to hold it's breath as everyone waited to hear her next words. Derek bit his lip as the tension began to grate his nerves.

"Stay out of Gotham City."

* * *

**Ack! I wanted Robin to come off as a sadistic type person. It was an obvious epic fail. Still, isn't he creepy?**

**Are things beginning to make sense? Is the plot finally coming together? (Can everyone see Raven's obvious instability? I realized I hadn't really expounded on her strangeness...so I went back and redid certain scenes) **

**Does everyone now understand why vampires made a random entrance into this story?**

**The first few chapters are choppy, but everything seems to flow together in the middle now(at least I think so.) Please confirm or disprove this.**

**Review!**

**~heartless16**


	15. Chapter 15

**Once again, I apologize for the long wait. And I sincerely thank everyone for their comments and reviews. Without them, I might not have been able to get this far.**

**I found this chapter to be extremely deep and filled with emotions. I only hope it compelled you as much as it compelled me.**

**When you have the time, please look up the song "I Love You" by P-Square. ****(They are Nigerian, by the way)**** Words cannot explain how much I have wanted to use this song in this story. I haven't because I didn't think anyone would know or recognize the band. (I don't really care for the music videos...it's the lyrics that compels me.) **

** Please check it out and tell me if I should use it.**

**Chapter 15**

**Disclaimer: If you haven't seen it by now...I don't know where you've been.**

* * *

"_Stay out of Gotham City." _

Those words echoed in Derek's mind...there was so much fear behind them. Exactly what had this 'Erik' done to Raven? How was he able to illicit such a fearful response?

The young man turned and stared out the window, taking in the vast and seemingly endless ocean. It wasn't like he wanted to decline her request...hell, he's do anything to settle down with a respectable job...one that wasn't linked in any way to his father's company.

Derek had his dreams and ambitions. He wanted to invent something really different and unique like Steve Jobs or work in the government like Ben Bernanke. Maybe he'd settle down and marry eventually...and probably have a kid or two. Or he'd start playing his guitar more often. Perhaps he could start a band with his friend Natalie and go around town playing songs at charity events. Whatever he did, it would be simple, uncomplicated and something notable in society. He'd leave his mark in history and die with no regrets.

It was a pleasant aspiration, a noteworthy dream that lingered with him in the dreary mornings. However reality was a harsh teacher and in his reality, he was a glorified thief working undercover for a league of meta-humans and aliens.

Perhaps a better term was doing their dirty work. Superman had a reputation...he couldn't go around stealing and tracking down gang bangers and drug traffickers. So Derek stole for them...he traded information about underground activities in exchange for a clean police record.

Of course he wouldn't complain. Derek hated to complain. He was quite content living in his expensive condo paid for by his relatives and taking care of his thirteen year old cousin from Quebec. And working in his father's investment firm wasn't really that annoying...it wasn't worth raising a fuss.

What he hated most was the idea of being told to commit crimes by those who 'upheld' the law. What was it about the Justice League that gave them the permission to blackmail someone into committing felonies...while it was a crime for the mafia lords to issue orders?

Why was it OK for Robin to make that suit and steal...in the guise of finding Slade Wilson? Why was Red X branded a villain and a threat to society...but Robin was merely ignored? Weren't they both guilty of committing theft?

"Princess, what you ask of me is...easier said than done." Conflict and confusion was written clearly across his face. Logic told him to refuse her requests, to walk out of this place and forget everything she had said and warned about. Logic told him that it wasn't worth it.

But Derek was finding it difficult to listen to reason these days. His judgement had long since been clouded by his 'obsession' with Raven. Obsession would be a good word, considering as he'd lost precious hours of sleep 'cause of it.

"Why?" Her voice was quiet but harsh. He didn't need to look to know that her slender eyebrows were turned down in disappointment and that her eyes were flashing with irritation. Raven was someone who hated it when things didn't go her way. It was a childish and at times overbearing habit. Derek wasn't sure whether to blame the teen, or the mother.

Derek placed his head against the cold glass window, wondering how the ocean could have turned from a calm blue to a raging depressing gray color. Wasn't it only a few hours ago when the sun was shining brightly? Why does the ocean seem to mirror his fucked up life? "Raven, I can't just stop stealing...I'm under a contract. What you ask...cannot be done." He was surprised to hear Raven laugh.

"Contract, he says." She chuckled, her voice sounding strangely malicious and sarcastic. "Is a contract more important than your life? Will you throw everything away for the sake of some contract?"

Fists slammed against the wall, and the pictures hanging there rattled precariously. Derek turned, his golden eyes smoldering. "Breaking that fucking contract _will_ be the end of my life! You think I go around stealing all that shit 'cause I want too? You think I would risk life just to fuck around with Bird Brain and the police! Just who the fuck do you think I am!"

Derek wasn't expecting to see Raven standing there, with tears dripping down her face. Derek hated seeing people cry...and he hated himself for making Raven cry. He shouldn't have lost his temper...it was the last thing he wanted to do. But Derek felt trapped, cornered in by everything and everyone. His shaking hands gripped his hair in frustration. Derek was lost...utterly lost and confused.

**oOoOo**

Raven clenched her fists, trying in vain to stop the tears from falling. But it was useless, she couldn't go on like this...she couldn't bear to see yet another person suffer because of her actions. She alone was to blame for the whole situation with Erik...she knew all the atrocities that he had committed, how many people he had killed simply out of spite and boredom.

Raven was to blame for everything...she shouldn't have run away. Because of her cowardice, a very good friend had gone missing and perhaps was dead. She was the one who was to blame for Angel's motherless state, as well as Gabriel's suffering.

Would she also be blamed for Derek's death? Would she have to yet again watch someone die because of her stupid and selfish actions? Will she ever find peace? Will she ever be forgiven?

Voices screamed in Raven's mind...her emotions were spinning out of control. Were these feelings even hers? Why was she so...confused and agitated? Why was she like this? Why did she feel that if something happened to Derek, she wouldn't be able to live with herself? Why was she feeling this way about a guy she barely knew?

The sorceress sank to her knees clutching her chest in anguish. "I can't let anything happen to you, Derek! I'm sorry for pissing you off, but I just can't live with myself knowing that you could be killed 'cause of me!" She stared at the floor, not wanting to look into his angry golden eyes.

They frightened her...and she couldn't help but wonder if they were even human eyes. When he smiled, his eyes twinkled with cat-like mischief, and when he was sad they glittered with inhuman sorrow. Sometimes when Derek stared thoughtfully into the distance, Raven couldn't help but feel that his eyes were like that of a soul reaper...or an angel of death.

Now that he was angry...they burned with hatred. His golden eyes smoldered, and Raven couldn't help but think of her father and the fires of hell. Was he able to sense ghosts and spirits? Was this the cause for his strange intuition? There had been many times when Derek had seen past her blank facade...something that not even Robin was able to accomplish despite them being bonded together.

"Raven...Rae, get up. Raven, d-don't be like that. D-don't kneel in front of me like that..." His voice trailed off as he yanked the sorceress from the ground and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Don't do something like that again. I can't stand such things..."

Azar, why did he have to smell like chocolate too? Why was everything about Derek so chocolaty and warm? Raven bit her lip, no longer caring about her tears._ Stupid emotions. Stupid chocolate addiction. Damn you, Arella._

**oOoOo**

Derek didn't know how long he had stood there, arms wrapped tightly against Raven's small frame as she wept silently. He wanted to say something...anything to make her stop crying. But his mind had long since emptied of any words. All he could do, to his horror and annoyance was stand there and inhale the soft peachy scent as he ran his fingers through Raven's dark wavy hair.

Somehow, he had forgotten all about his frustrating situation all his scrambled emotions and feelings were calmed when Raven was in his arms. It wasn't like he hadn't hugged her before...so why was this time different? Why did he feel so complete?

"Derek, sometimes...you remind me of Robin Hood. You steal from the rich and give to the poor. In my mind...that's what you are. But, I just can't picture you in green." The sorceress mumbled softly, her head still buried in his dark screen tee shirt.

He couldn't help but laugh at her statement. Why Robin Hood? Green just wasn't his color. "What are you getting at?"

She shrugged. "The Justice League is blackmailing you, aren't they? The Red X that's just stealing for fun and the Red X stealing on business is different. I don't know what it is they have against you...but at least promise that you'll be careful. Promise me that if you end up going to Gotham, Bruce knows what I told you. He'll help you...I know he will."

A tired sigh escaped the young man's lips. She was really worried...that much he could tell. "I'll promise, but tell me...why are you so worried? Why-" He was cut off when Raven's hand covered his mouth. His golden eyes stared intently into the teenager's face, wondering why she looked so confused and lost.

"It's hard to explain. Maybe I'm just thinking too much. But sometimes, when you're gone...I feel empty and incomplete. It's like...living with no air." She smiled sadly. "It's absurd so you don't have to trouble yourself-"

"Princess, that's called love." Perhaps he was speaking more to himself than to her. Somehow, those words mirrored his thoughts. There were times when he found himself drawn back to that park...hoping that she would bump into him once more.

She often filled his dreams and he would wake with a painful longing in his chest. Wasn't he supposed to be the mature one? He wasn't a lovesick teenager anymore...he was twenty-four for crying out loud!

Yes, Derek was one obsessed man...to the point where he would sneak into her room sometimes in the night, just to get a glimpse of her sleeping face. Did she notice...maybe. He just didn't have the heart to care anymore. But he couldn't help that strange feeling. Feeling as if he couldn't breathe when she was gone.

"Love. I had always confused love with lust. But they're completely different, aren't they? How intriguing." Raven's purple eyes were shining brightly, as if she had discovered a pot of gold. Maybe in her mind...love was really that important.

Derek was silent. There really wasn't really anything left to say. He kissed her softly, reveling in the peachy taste of her lips. He was done holding back.

* * *

Ice. The ice was melting, dripping down her face and stinging her eyes. Cold and painful. She blinked, letting the water run down her cheeks and soak into the dark pink pillow case. Was this how Robin felt right now? Was he as cold as this ice? Emerald eyes stared up at the ceiling...noting the strange designs in the light pink paint.

If you looked carefully, the outline of a turkey would crop up...sometimes an angry, glaring face. Is this what they mean by 'in the eye of the beholder'? People often saw different things...depending on their perception. The sky could be 'baby blue' or just 'sky blue'...the whitewashed fences could be 'egg shell white' or 'off white'.

What did she look like in Robin's eyes?

Was she a cold blooded murderer...or someone who was deceived by another person's ramblings? What did Raven think? No doubt the sorceress saw her as a wicked, heartless bitch who only looks after herself.

Wait, maybe that's the reverse...Raven's the wicked, heartless bitch. Raven's the bad one, the one who sleeps around and commits immoral acts. Raven is the heartless, manipulative and conniving bitch who broke Robin's heart first. Yes, Raven is the evil one...not me.

The fan in her room whirred softly, quietly ruffling the papers and melting any ice that had been placed on the stitches. The pillow case beneath her head was already wet...and any moisture left was being soaked up by her long luscious hair.

A sigh escaped the alien's parched lips. Raven had been really angry...but it was a rage that was shrouded in mystery. Why was Raven so angry at that statement? Did her enraged response mean that Robin and Raven really had been getting into nasty fights? How could such a thing have happened...without any bruises or injuries to display?

Perhaps too much thought was going into this incident. It was always easier to think that Raven simply couldn't control her temper...rather than to postulate about any possible reasons.

Raven was someone that didn't need reason to act...she just followed her instincts, however base they may be. Either way, speculating about Raven didn't really solve any of her problems. Right now, Robin was the only one that she should be worrying about.

Emerald eyes blinked as water stung them once more. Why is Robin angry at me? What exactly did I do that Raven hasn't done? Wasn't it for the best that the unborn child be sacrificed? I only did it out of love for Robin...nothing more.

Don't they say that 'love conquers all'? I should be forgiven, since it was done in love's name.

So why am I being punished? Why am I receiving all the blame? What about Speedy...it wasn't like I got pregnant alone. Don't they always say, 'it take 'two to tango'? What is he doing to atone for his sin?

Shouldn't he be tossed in the fire along with me? Why is Robin blaming me? Speedy was the one who didn't want the child...he was the one who told me to abort the baby.

Starfire sat up, staring at her closet intensely. Speedy. This was all his fault. He was the one that seduced me..he was the one that got me pregnant. Why isn't Robin blaming him? Why can't Robin realize that Speedy is the evil one? Speedy is the one that got between our love...

Yes, I am innocent. I have done nothing wrong. Everything that happened was because of Speedy...and once Robin realizes this, he will return to me. Yes, he will return, because I am innocent.

* * *

"Derek, can I ask you something." Raven's soft voice echoed quietly in the empty room. Argent had probably disappeared a long time ago.

"Shoot." He stared up at her, up since his head was in her lap. They were on the bed, now with Raven leaning against the headboard and running her hands through his now extremely long hair. He really needed a hair cut...why'd he put it off? It wouldn't look good when he went back to work again. They'd probably label him as a vagabond.

"Why is it that when you walk up the stairs, you skip every thirteenth one?" Her voice was laced with curiosity and perhaps a tinge of amusement? Maybe he was imagining it. Then again, perhaps she did find the whole thing funny.

Isn't it odd how differently people view things? There are people that can laugh and brush things off, can forget they even happened. And then there are those poor souls who can't just let go...who carry their secrets and their tragedies to the grave.

Why was he so pitiful? Why couldn't he forget that night? Sure his strange tendencies might seem funny to her...but to him it was an incurable habit. It wasn't like he had a phobia or anything. Derek had long since come to terms with his strange 'ability'. Could it even be called an ability? Wasn't 'curse' a better description?

But there was just something about it that seemed...impossible to explain. How could he explain to someone that every time his feet landed on those steps, the voices came back. The screams, the anguished cries...and the ghosts. How could he explain that he was being haunted by people he knew nothing about?

Not, people but ghosts. Ghosts that he happened to stumble upon many years ago? Who would believe him? Who would believe what he saw in that abandoned laboratory? His own friends that were there that night, didn't believe him. To this day, those same friends still joked about what had happened. 'He was hallucinating' they said. 'No one was in the abandoned lab anymore' they said.

Of course they didn't believe him. He was the crazy one...the one who was haunted by things normal people couldn't see. But they were there...those ghosts. And they wouldn't leave him alone.

"Derek, what's wrong? Your hands are shaking." The concern in her voice made him angry. He didn't want the concern, he didn't need the pity.

"If I told you, would you believe? Would you believe me if I told you that I was being haunted? Would you believe it if I told you that ghosts were real...and that I see them all the time? Would you believe?"

Raven's eyes widened in astonishment. "So you can see spirits! And who told you ghosts weren't real?"

Frankly, the man was confused. What kind of response was that? How could she have known that he could see these things? Derek was speechless, and all he could do was stare up at her, in shock.

Raven chuckled. "Call it an instinct, if you will. But I always wondered if you could. Your eyes are just not...human. And as for ghosts and spirits...I am a half-demon, so shouldn't it be right that ghosts and such things exist."

She reached out and gripped his hands tightly. "What did you see? Derek, tell me."

**oOoOo **

Raven placed her cold pale hands between Derek's eyes and watched curiously as his eyes fluttered closed. Delving into his mind wasn't something she wanted to do...after all, a thief does need some secrets. He just seemed so...nervous and agitated about the whole thing. Raven felt that she couldn't help him unless she knew.

Besides, it wasn't like she was going to ransack his mind, considering that it was the last thing he had been thinking about before she entered. She wouldn't have to delve so deeply. The whole process would be quick and painless. Maybe, if it was bad enough, she'd erase it. He wouldn't mind...would he? Maybe then he could live his life without these ghosts haunting him.

She didn't need to delve that deeply the minute she saw that dusty, old empty laboratory building. She didn't need to know what Derek had seen. It was already engraved in her mind as well.

Pale, icy hands withdrew slowly, and the room began to spin. Lights flashed painfully in her eyes. The searing white walls...those sickening pure untainted walls. Yes, everything was suddenly rushing back. That familiar headache was coming back. Raven gripped her head in pain.

_The pure white walls...the bright exposing lights. The voices...the cold formal voices. What were they saying. What?_

_"The child is not human. Anyone can see that."_

_"Zatanna believes she is a dangerous demon. If so we must find a way to quarantine her powers...she could be of use to us some day."_

_"Dr. Stein, it is impossible to fully control the powers of a demon. She must die...for the good of mankind, she must die." Zatanna's cold hateful voice. She hated me. They all did. All I wanted to do was live a normal life. _

_Why couldn't I live like everyone else?_

_Why? Why must I die...why do I have to suffer for these humans. These same people who want my death. Why must I show mercy by dying? _

_Why don't I deserve mercy too? __The word 'no' echoed loudly in my mind. _

_I did not like that word 'no.' Giselle said 'no' once before. Poor, poor Giselle. Pretty blond-hair and blue-eyed Giselle. She didn't give me what I wanted...who knew Giselle could be so red? Just like the crayons. She could paint the walls too. Too bad she hated the color red. I thought it suited her perfectly. _

_Poor, poor Giselle. _

_Wicked, evil me._

_The terror filled screams were like sweet music to her ears. The pure white walls were coated with a beautiful, shiny blood-red color. Just like Giselle. These people can color the walls too._

_Staring through the bloody stained mirror, she saw the sick grin plastered on her bloody face. Her eyes were a dark shade of black. Pale grey skin, Drenched purple hair...red splattered all over her body._

_It was beautiful...it was art. Red coated hands trailed slowly down the walls. This was ecstasy...this was beautiful. __This was art. The shrieks of pain from these arrogant humans as they were dismantled. Wasn't it lovely? Wasn't it just beautiful? She smiled...she beamed. Revenge was sweet._

_These people thought they could say 'no' to me. They didn't want to give me what I want. How dare they! How dare they use that word! __How dare they withhold what was rightfully mine! No, they can't get away with it. The wouldn't._

_Giselle couldn't...I made sure of that. These people were no better. __It's better that they scream. It's better that they entertain me as they die pitifully. Let them die like lab rats. Let them die in pieces. __A hysterical laugh filled the room. _

_That quiet calm voice that suddenly entered her ears. A turn, a glimpse around the room...and finally a glimpse into the sorrowful eyes of the Bat. Sorrow...why not pity? Why wasn't he starting at her with anger, with hatred...why was he staring like he could understand?_

_I couldn't bring myself to kill the Bat that night.  
_

"Poor, poor me. Poor poor Bruce."

Hands shook uncontrollably, violet eyes glittered with tears. The blood red walls colored her mind. What had she done? Who could atone for this sin but her alone?

Was it not enough that she was suffering every day? Her sanity was slowly leaving. How long would it be before she lost control? Before Erik sent her into an early grave?

Raven's purple eyes glanced up, meeting the glittering golden eyes of Derek. What was she going to say? Perhaps he would leave now...now that he knew who she truly was. An insane and cruel murderer. Who would love a murderer? Who would want anything to do with a killer who was slowly going mad? Who?

"Forgive me, Derek. It...is all my fault that you are tormented so. Now you see...I really am dangerous. I really am insane. So please, don't have anything to do with me. Please don't...if you are killed because of me-" Derek's warm hand covered her mouth and the sorceress stared at him through watery eyes. Why did he look so sad?

"Princess...I don't care if you killed people. I don't care if you are dangerous. I love you. And no, I won't leave...I'll never leave you."

"Please don't promise such a thing Derek. Everyone knows promises are lies. Don't tell me you'll never leave. You can't assure me that you'll be there forever. We all grow old and die. So don't..." Raven stared at her chipped polished nails. "Jeremy promised...and he's dead. I don't want you to die too."

Derek pulled the petite young woman into his arms and kissed her gently. "I'm Red X. Dying isn't my style. I may not be able to keep to all my promises, but I promise not to make you regret. I won't give you anything else to regret."

**oOoOo**

_Derek couldn't keep that promise. As I sit here, confined in my quarters, I wonder why I even believed him. I believed every word...and because of me he now resides in Arkham City's Maximum Security Prison. Words cannot describe the feeling of helplessness and depression that live with me each day. How many times do I wish I could have seen him...at least once more. _

_Why did they have to take him away like that? Why do they treat me this way? How can I possibly raise this child without him? __Tell me, how does one live with no air? How can I breathe...if he's gone? _

* * *

**This was the hardest chapter to write...cause of all the emotions and stuff.**

**Starfire's scene was purposely written in that haphazard manner. In order to depict her unstable mind...switching between persons was necessary. I apologize if it confuses anyone.**

**The last scene is what Cyborg had told Robin several chapters ago. (Referring to when Raven killed everyone in the Star Lab facility in Canada.) The jumping around of persons is done purposely. ****What she is recalling is really a mix of her thoughts and the demon's. (Giselle is the name of the babysitter...the one she killed but couldn't remember.)**

**When writing the last scenes I was listening to Lux Aeterna from the movie Requiem for a Dream. It's creepiness may or may not have rubbed off in the story.**

**From what my brain's telling me...Robin might kill Speedy, or severely damage him. But in order to match with what Derek was thinking, having Speedy die and the incident being covered up will really seal the deal. (Either Speedy, Starfire or both could die. I don't know yet)**

**You comment, tell me what to do. If it's really good, and I do end up using it...credit will be given, of course. (I just sounded like a teacher now, so I'll call it a day.)**

**~heartless16**


	16. Chapter 16

**Extremely sorry for the long wait! Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. **

**I'm glad that people think this story is coming together. When I read over the past chapters...I feel like they are still lacking. However I will refrain from editing them till the story is done. **

**Chapter 16**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Teen Titans **  
**  
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* * *

Coffee.

The pungent scent of that annoying beverage seeped from the old antique-looking building that he stood in front of. He glanced down at the name scrawled hastily on the note card. MochaNista. What a catchy name. The young man stepped inside nodding in appreciation at the well-decorated interior. The room had been painted in a neutral beige color and the flooring was a dark brown wood.

With the soft fluffy green cushioned booths and the green retro swivel chairs at the bar table...Speedy concluded that they must have been going for the cozy-home like effect. A sigh slipped past frowning lips. Speedy hated coffee. So why did that annoying bitch ask him to meet up here?

He stood with his hands buried within his dark wash denim trousers, staring in disdain at the items on the menu. Did they have hot chocolate? Perhaps just a cup of tea would suffice?

Anything to take away the scent of coffee from his nose. Leaving would help...but that was out of the question. Sucking in a curse, the archer ordered a cup of chocolate and sat down on one of the barstools, thumbing through his Samsung Galaxy Fit. He needed to update his Facebok page...and his Twitter account.

Such stupid priorities. Why were they even forced to do this kind of shit? Did the mayor think that updating Facebook would reduce crime? The residents of New York didn't really care about Titan East. Compared to the Justice League and the main Titans team...they were more of backup.

At the gentle tapping on his shoulder, Speedy glanced up through his darkly shaded glasses. The red hair and piercing green eyes only worsened his mood. Really, how could he have gotten into such a mess? How could he have gotten so drunk that night...he couldn't remember anything?

It wasn't like the other parties where you'd wake up with a pounding headache and dread in your stomach. This was more of waking up from a coma. Or perhaps coming back from the dead. Either way...he couldn't believe himself. He couldn't believe what he'd done. And he couldn't believe how this woman had been threatening and harassing him ever since Robin had found out as well.

What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to beg for forgiveness? Wasn't this problem just as much her fault as it was his? Why was she trying to make it seem like he took advantage of her? Why was she trying to act like the innocent victim?

Rising, Speedy grabbed his beverage and followed her into the booth at the corner. He sat down reluctantly and stared watching as she sat her purse down and delicately folded her hands across the table. The jangling of her bracelets on the wooden table assaulted his ears.

Speedy rested his head in his hand and stared at her intently. "Listen sugar, I don't want to drag this out. So let's keep this simple. Tell Robin to fuck off. Tell him he can't blame me for everything. Tell him you were just as willing as I was that night. When you've done that, fuck off as well."

Starfire chuckled and tilted her head, staring at him as if he was a child. "Why would I do that? Isn't it better this way? Isn't it better that you suffer...suffer for killing your child too? Why must I be the guilty one?"

Speedy closed his eyes, drumming his fingers on the table. Her voice was irritating. That laugh was irritating. He was seriously pissed off. "Did I tell you to get an abortion? Did I threaten you, drag you there kicking and screaming? Did you even discuss anything with me before you made up your mind? We all know the truth, Starfire. I know, and you know and Robin knows that you went there willingly...you made that decision on your own."

Starfire stared intently, her jade green eyes radiating with a strange light. "Perhaps he does know. Perhaps he'll hate me for what I've done. But whatever may happen to me...I'll do everything in my power to make sure you suffer as well. That is your lot as an accomplice." Such a spiteful and vengeful voice.

Was she trying to scare him? A chuckle escaped Speedy's lips. "You make it sound like we planned the whole thing."

"It wouldn't hurt to give him that assumption." Now it was dark and menacing, the kind of voice that Raven would be proud of. Who knew Starfire was capable of sounding like that?

The archer stared down into his cup of hot chocolate and tried to hide his astonishment. She was trying to trick Robin? Was she insane? Did she think she would get away with the whole thing? Who did she think she was to threaten him and deceive her own boyfriend? When did Starfire become...such a bitch?

"Sugar, I don't take kindly to people threatening me. It wouldn't take much to kill you right here and make it seem an accident. So watch your tone. As for tricking Robin...you're on your own. Tell me how it turns out." He stood and turned to leave, not wanting to glance into her face again. Somehow...Starfire didn't seem normal anymore. She wasn't the happy-go-lucky teen he once knew. He couldn't help the pang of guilt that washed over him when he stared into her green eyes.

Those eyes that reeked of insanity.

"She...she looked just like you...even her eyes. I-it would have been...impossible to hide the truth. Everyone would... have noticed the resemblance."

The archer was silent. He couldn't turn around..he wouldn't. Slowly he walked away, his shaded eyes meeting up with violet ones. Speedy shook his head slightly and he watched intently as a mournful look briefly flickered across her face. That one look seemed to paint his whole world gray.

Starfire really was insane.

**oOoOo**

The light danced off Raven's purple and black streaked hair as she stood with Speedy outside the small coffee shop. In the brightening sunlight, Raven peered up at him, squinting her eyes slightly. Right now, she couldn't help but remember Robin...and how they had somehow drifted apart.

"So, why did you come all this way? Is it Slade related?" Raven had to know. Because Robin was now searching for the assassin in other states and cities. No longer was he confined to Jump. Just last week, Robin had taken a trip to Montana, simply to follow up on some Slade related leads. Of course it was a dead end.

Speedy stared up from his cup, a grave look on his chiseled features. "There's been some weird stuff going around lately. Strange break-ins, and assault cases. At first we thought it was the work of gang members. But Bee thinks it's something else."

Raven nodded, taking a bite out of the glazed and sprinkled doughnut she had purchased earlier. "What kind of signs were left behind? Do you know what they mean or who they belong to?"

The archer slipped a hand into the inside pocket of his dark leather jacket and pulled out a small manila envelope. Pursing his lip, he placed the folder into Raven's hands and leaned back against the brick building watching for any kind of reaction. Quietly, he observed Raven as she sifted through the photographs...eventually his patience was rewarded when her slender eyebrows rose slightly. It was a look of recognition, Speedy realized. "Do you know of such a symbol?"

"Where was this taken?" Raven's voice was quiet and somber. One might also say fearful...but that was more of a speculation. Fear was something he had never seen Raven display...pinpointing that emotion on her face would be difficult at best.

"The break-ins happened around the outskirts of New York City. Those assault cases happened in Gotham City. The victims weren't hurt badly though, just tattooed. And strangely enough, they weren't permanent."

Raven slowly passed the folder back to the red-haired archer, then lowered her hand to grip his arm tightly. "Listen to me. Don't tell Robin about the incidents in Gotham. I wish I could give you a reason...for now just don't. On your way back, go see Bruce. Show him those. He'll know what to do." Her purple eyes bored into him, and Speedy was overwhelmed by the intensity.

What was Raven hiding? And why go see Bruce Wayne? Was it because of his rapport with the Gotham City Police? Whatever the reason, Raven knew about these tattoos. Perhaps more than she wanted to admit. But wasn't it just detrimental to keep all these details hidden? Wouldn't it be best to lay all the cards on the table?

Raven was good at concealing thing, good at hiding the truth and an excellent liar. Sometimes Speedy wasn't sure if it was a good trait, or destructive habit. There were times when skill in lying and deceit came in handy...like a game of poker or some other card game. Concealing information when working in law-enforcement, however, only spells more trouble...and then you end up with a Robin/Slade disaster. The kind where people almost die.

Raven should know this well. Unfortunately, Speedy also knew how Raven could behave sometimes. She often acted above the rules...without any awareness of her actions. "Wouldn't it be best to just tell him? After all he knows Batman."

She tilted her head slightly and stared at him for several seconds. Her lips seemed pursed in thought but Speedy knew better. It was a warning to lay off. He continued to stare at her, his eyebrow raised slightly.

So she was prepared to fight him cause of these pictures? That realization only stirred his curiosity. "Fine. I won't tell him. But you owe me for this. And you'd better tell someone what you know soon...if something goes down, we need all the info we can get."

Raven nodded, face once again blank and empty. "I'll keep Robin off your back, so just forget about Starfire. She needs some time to figure things out."

Speedy watched as the young woman sauntered off, and he couldn't help but admire her figure. How could someone change so much? She used to be so tiny. Now she was all curves and almost as tall as he was.

When did that happen?

* * *

The haunting sound of the violin, a loud throbbing base guitar and an angry voice filled Raven's ears as she entered the small Third Street Theater. Really, if these were the people she was working for, perhaps it would be a good idea to leave. She could demand another charity task from the mayor tomorrow.

The sorceress looked around, gripping her cup of chocolate. It was the only thing keeping her from freaking out. How could someone listen to that mismatched music? Purple eyes glared at the stage, landing on the short, petite, blonde woman that was busy, seemingly tuning her violin.

Her eyes moved to the center of the stage, where someone else sat, trying to hook up the instruments to numerous wires. He didn't have a guitar, Raven realized. The sorceress turned again, and glared with malice at another dark-haired man, who was strumming an electric guitar and scribbling ferociously on a piece of paper. Was he the composer?

Then who was yelling angrily? Another turn finally solved the mystery. Standing in the other corner of the room was Derek, loudly yelling and cursing into the phone. What was his deal? Wait, why was he even here?

Something tapped her shoulder softly. Raven whirled around and gazed with surprise at another man with light brown hair and grey eyes. Who was this one? "Are you one of the Titans?" His voice was strong and commanding. He seemed to be the no-nonsense type of person. Unfortunately his clothes didn't seem to fit that assumption. A pair of sagging blue jeans, long red tee-shirt and a pair of red Nike high-tops clung to his physique.

He dressed like some of the kids she had met while in Gotham. Then again, wasn't this kind of dress a style? Something along the lines of hip-hop? Or was she mistaken? Purple eyes stared in suspicion. "If I was?"

He stared at her silently, eyes taking in her outfit. Raven had dressed careful today because of this task the mayor assigned to her. Instead of the usual tank-top and ripped jeans, Raven was wearing a fitted hot-pink tee-shirt with a black corset vest and a pair of dark-wash skinny jeans.

She was also wearing high top Nikes...only hers were pink. Despite her aparent rocker status, Raven couldn't give up on the high-top and skater shoes. Her closet was littered with different color Nikes, high top converse that usually were patterned with everything from checkers to skull and crossbones, and thick heavy Vans. It was something she had never really let go after her short life on the streets of Gotham.

Raven had even gone as far as to straighten her thick wavy hair, and now the straight, polished locks draped her face. She thought she looked pretty good. The only thing missing was a pink baseball cap. Raven didn't really want to wear one though...she thought she'd would be 'over-doing' it.

"You dance?" The quiet soft reply was more like a statement than a question. The expectant look radiating from in his murky grey eyes and trim loosely shaven face made the sorceress rather un-easy.

"I dance...but I'm not really good." She bit her lip, hoping to sound convincing. "I can sing though, in fact, it would be better to let me sing." At this statement, an innocent wide-eyed look was employed. Thankfully it worked. The man nodded and beckoned for the violinist to step off the stage. "Excuse me, what's your name?" Raven simply had to know.

The brown haired young man turned and looked at her for a while. Finally he opened his mouth, speaking one word. "Damian."

Such a dreamy name! Had Raven been a fan-girl, she probably would have swooned. Raven shook her head. Being a fan-girl was overrated and degrading. She look past Damian's shoulder and smiled brightly at the violinist, who had now reached her and held out a hand. From this close, Raven realized that the hair the sorceress had thought of as blonde was really a startling, platinum white! Even her eyebrows were the same color! And she looked so young and so...fragile.

The musician was very tiny and lean, the kind of lean that one would associate with sickness, rather than a healthy fast metabolism. Her pale, slender arms were lanky and childlike, reminding Raven of Terra when Malchior had freed her from the stone confinement. She had such long and thin fingers; perfect for playing the violin and piano.

And she was so beautiful! It wasn't anything like the vibrant, allure of Starfire, the sassy spunk of Bee and Jinx, or the subtle charm of Argent. No, this was gentle, child-like adoration. This was the beauty one saw in a new born baby...a beauty that urged you to protect, to cherish and to love.

Raven looked into her smiling face once more and was overwhelmed by the young woman's powerful aura. Emotions, feelings filled the sorceress mind, threatening to overwhelm and tear her apart. Intense sadness tasted like bitter gall in her mouth. The scent of tears and blood nauseated her. Such sorrow! Such bitterness! Such anger and hatred! All in this beautiful doll-like woman.

Violet eyes fluttered shut. She needed to remain calm. She needed to stay in control. Raven couldn't allow this heavy and sad aura to destroy what little sanity remained in her mind. She couldn't be drawn in by the sadness...she couldn't be influenced by the anger. She wouldn't let the darkness in this woman's heart entice her inner demons.

No, don't be drawn in...don't be enticed. Don't give in!

Heavy hands rested casually on her shoulders. Derek's hands.

Raven didn't have to look at them to know...it was something she had engraved within her memory. Derek's heavy, warm hands. The long slender, calloused fingers and the smooth, patterned palms. Raven could never forget Derek's hands. His warm, comforting hands that seared her chilled, icy skin and filled her with serenity. Hands that gave her peace. He alone could still her troubled heart...he alone could give her such a sense of calmness. Raven couldn't understand why.

Slowly, Raven held out her hand and took hold of the musicians long pale fingers. "It's so nice to be working with you. I'm sure we'll be able to set up a wonderful event."

The violinist smiled beautifully, cheeks flushing brightly and startling green eyes twinkling with excitement. "I'm Natalie Hale, and I want to thank you so much for finding the time to help with this project! When I first saw you on Good Morning America, I was moved to tears by your words. After I was assigned this task, you were the first person I could think of to help me. I look forward to working with you!"

The girl's sweet tinkling voice and earnest words nearly moved the sorceress to tears. Really, who would have the nerve to bring up that embarrassing interview up to her face. Raven herself could not bear watching it the few weeks after her sight was restored. Such helplessness! Such shame! And yet this woman was moved to tears? Had what she said that morning really been so profound?

Even Derek, who seemed impassive and nonchalant of everything, stiffened and tensed whenever that incident was mentioned. As he was doing now. His once comforting hands now were shaking slightly, and no doubt his golden eyes were shifty and unsettled beneath those dark Ray-Ban shades. Was that what made Derek so sorrowful?

Was that why he would often sit and stare into her face quietly, chewing his lips with an uncharacteristic nervousness? Was that why his fingers trembled when he would trace the faint scar? Could that be the reason for his slight hesitation and restraint when he would touch her. Was Derek afraid?

Was he afraid of hurting her once more?

"Oh, Derek do you know Raven as well?" Natalie's voice rang out cheerfully and Derek lifted his head from where it was buried between the sorceress neck. Whatever he had been doing was lost in their eyes.

"She's my Princess." That being said so boldly, Derek buried his head once more in Raven's neck, ignoring the sputtering voice and embarrassed flush that crept up on Raven's pale face. The sorceress whirled around him, gripping the man's hands and stared angrily.

"Don't call me that!" A devilish grin flashed across Derek's handsome face. Raven swore her heart fluttered for a minute. She wasn't sure if it was the smile, or the effect of the sudden kiss he had planted on her sensitive throat.

Natalie grinned, her green eyes twinkling with amusement. "He gives everyone nicknames. Apparently, I'm Baby-Doll."

Raven turned around and looked back at Natalie. "Really? Baby-Doll?" Somehow, with those glittering eyes and white soft hair, Raven couldn't help but think the nickname fit her perfectly. She did look like a doll with her pale creamy unblemished skin and small stature. Perhaps Derek must have felt her aura as well...perhaps he too was struck with the urge and the need to protect this fail looking woman. "Somehow, I think it suits you." Raven smiled softly.

**oOoOo**

Sheets of music lay scattered against the worn oak table, rustling gently as the musicians argued and debated over what pieces to play. A charity event run by a local band. How were they going to draw in visitors? As a small, local band, fans were scarce, and they typically made their money by providing music for high school events and private parties.

This was the first time they were being told to plan out a show...and that any money earned will be turned in to charity organizations. The funds for renting this old theater, setting up the equipment and lighting was coming out of their own pockets...and they _ still_ had not found a singer. How were they supposed to bring in a crowd if the didn't have a decent singer? Or at least someone who was well known? Either one worked.

This was where Raven came in. She was well known in the city and... according to rumors, she could sing really well too. Rumors all spread by Derek, of course. He was the only one (besides Argent) to have heard her singing voice. How else could the others have known?

The sorceress slowly looked around the table, taking in all the people that currently were arguing and bickering. There was Damian, complaining about the "lack of hip-hop". Raven could sympathize and agree with him. As someone who loved rap and hip-hop, she always sighed in annoyance when those kinds of songs were absent from 'top 40' CD's and music playlists. And for Beastboy to perfom at this event...some kind of dance was needed.

She could somewhat sympathize the arguments of Russel, who was demanding some heavy metal. Raven propably wouldn't give his idea a vote simply because heavy metal wasn't well known. And those who did know about the interesting genre labeled the music as 'goth' or 'emo'. It would proably be best to stick with popular songs that everyone knew.

Natalie, So-Young and Isaac requested for something simple and easy to play. They seemed to want those simple kinds of songs that could be played with few instruments...Raven liked that idea. It was those songs that appealed to a lot of people anyway. Simple songs with simple instruments and lyrics that could inspire people. That was what Natalie had described.

Derek didn't seem to care. In fact, the man had left the heated discussion, preferring to occupy himself on the old stage with his antique guitar. Raven watched him with a strange sensation of envy as he absently strummed the instrument, golden eyes shielded by thick long lashes, full pale lips frowned in concentration. No amount of words could describe the picture before her.

Raven found herself fervently wishing for a camera...Ah, her phone! Yet another picture to treasure. A gentle smile broke out on her usually stoic face, as she pressed the save button, cherishing the photo along with a shot of Beastboy, Starfire and Cyborg planking and Robin in a Shakespearean era dress. Such good times.

Sneakered feet strode towards the old worn theater stage, making a small thumping sound as they approached. Raven climbed to the top stair and sat down quietly, purple eyes still staring intently at the young man with the guitar.

To be honest, Raven was afraid to approach him. She was uneasy, wary of approaching and destroying that look of contented peace on his handsome face. Yes, she was content to sit and watch from afar. To become deeply involved with this man of many secrets would be a danger to her team, and her only means of living.

Derek too would not be spared from the consequences of her actions...he could be imprisoned along with her, or even executed. He could be tortured, imprisoned and could even die as a result of her selfish actions. Raven wasn't about to let another person suffer for her actions. Not anymore. So she sat there on those old theater steps, elbows resting on dark, denim-clad thighs, head angled slightly, violet orbs watching intently beneath lashed eyelids.

Suddenly, Derek opened his eyes. Intense golden orbs stared into vibrant purple. A gentle smile broke out on his face. "Come to me, Raven."

That voice. How could she refuse that voice? How could Raven ignore that beautiful smile? How could she erase those alluring golden eyes from her memory? Against her better judgement, her treacherous feet stood, carrying her over to where the man sat. Her purple eyes stared down at him, no doubt flickering with countless emotions.

Sadness, anger, happiness, the strangling grip of love. They filled her mind and tore at her icy heart. Raven sank to her knees, not wanting to sense these feelings anymore.

"It's all right, Raven." Oh Azar, why was she so weak? How could his voice melt the ice in her heart? How could those words fill her with such peace? Raven found that she couldn't resist. Not anymore. Raven wouldn't resist. Not when his warm hand lifted her chin slowly, not when his lips gently wiped her tears, and not when he kissed her passionately.

Those feelings, those sensations, Raven couldn't run from them. She wouldn't run...not anymore.

* * *

**So this is chapter 16. Full of sentiment and fluff. On the bright side, Raven finally caving in to her feelings will set the stage for perhaps a lemon? And then the trip to Gotham. (for sure the Gotham trip...this story needs to move a bit faster.) ****I wanted this chapter to be filled with other things. This is what my brain churned out...Forgive me if it is not to your liking.**

**Derek's words, at least the ones at the end were inspired by Jesse McCartney's song 'Come to Me'. That song is one that always touches my heart...and I feel that the Raven I've created for this story needs words that the ones in that song. Look it up and tell me what you think.**

**I have finally figured out how Derek's voice should sound like. If you look up the song 'Two is Better that One' by Boys Like Girls I think that Derek's voice should sound like the guy singing. (Sorry, I don't know his name) I also plan on having Derek and Raven sing this song...I just haven't figured things out yet. **

**It's either that or 'Lucky' by Jason Mraz.**

**Please review, listen to the songs and give me your opinions. **

**~ heartless16**


	17. Chapter 17

**Gosh...This chapter is so late. I don't really expect you to forgive me. But here it is and I hope that you will be satisfied. **

**I always make the mistake of reading my stories...then I find stuff that need to be re-written, and spend most of my time doing that, instead of writing the new chapter. I apologize for my impossible quest of perfection. **

**For the longest time, I'd imagined Derek and his friend Natalie Hale performing the song Time of Your Life by Greenday, but I simply couldn't figure out how to include it. Don't those two make a really good duo, Derek on guitar while singing and Natalie on violin?**

**Chapter 17**

**Disclaimer**: Look at Chapter 1

**Song in Chapter is Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift(feat. The Civil Wars). I do not own it.**

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A good kisser.

Raven didn't know what that was or how to describe it. Was Robin a good kisser? Raven wouldn't know. His kisses were sweet, innocent and nervous. Was that a good thing?

Then there was Malchior, whose eyes stirred hidden passions within her soul. Malchior was dangerous and rough. His kisses were just as fierce, the kind that left you dizzy and breathless.

Was that good? Perhaps it was her demon side that liked things rough.

And Gabe...forbidden Gabe. His kisses always tasted like melted brown sugar. Perhaps as forbidden fruit, he was meant to be addicting. When Gabe kissed her, fireworks exploded in Nevermore. Emotions ran wild, Lust leaped for joy and Knowledge brooded with pessimistic fear.

Derek.

How could Raven describe Derek? Seductive? Well-trained in the art of kissing? Or was she just being a silly fan-girl again? His kisses were hot...tantalizingly hot, wet, full of tongue and chocolatey. Maybe that came off as a little perverted?

Some people don't like wet kisses. They find them sloppy. So, did that make Derek a bad kisser? Lust seemed to enjoy them. But then again, that emotion lived up to her name She enjoyed anything sexual.

Others might like the dry, chaste, innocent kiss, like Robin's. The hopelessly romantic ones, would swoon at Malchior's passionate, erotic kisses, or Gabe's hesitant, addicting smooches.

But not everyone was a hopeless romantic.

Perhaps a good kisser was in the eyes of the beholder. Maybe that was why she and Derek were sitting here, getting an earful from the Boy Wonder about 'unrestrained public display of affection'.

It wasn't like he was out of line...sure she wanted to keep the gossip out of the magazines, but Raven couldn't help tuning the leader out. How was she expected to concentrate, when her mind was still reeling, and her lips were still tingling from Derek's "indecent behavior"?

Robin, and her dignity were the last thing on her mind.

The sorceress turned slightly, watching Derek through lowered eyelashes. He'd been staring down at his guitar the whole time, gently strumming a silent tune. Although he seemed straight-faced and solemn, his eyes twinkled with unbridled amusement and his eyebrows rose in astonishment.

So he found this whole ordeal funny?

Raven didn't blame him. It would be rather amusing for a twenty-four year old man to be chewed out by an annoying teenager. Perhaps it was better that Robin caught them. Had it been Cyborg...a fight probably would have broken out by now.

Raven sighed inwardly, staring in boredom at the chipped lavender nail polish that adorned her neatly trimmed finger nails. Robin shouldn't be worrying so much about her. Not when Starfire was teetering on the brink of insanity. Raven couldn't help feeling guilty for being so...detached and uncaring at the whole situation. But what was she to do? What was she going to say? Was it for the best to lie and say that Robin would forgive her actions?

How could she console her friend without appearing...haughty and boastful? How could she be a good friend when the only words in her mind were _I told you so_?

_What a horrible friend I am_, Raven thought with disgust.

The sorceress stood, reaching out, gently silencing Robin with her palm. Her violet eyes had taken on a sorrowful hue, something not lost on the guitarist beside her.

Raven bit her lip, then spoke hesitantly. "Robin, I think we get the point. Go, talk to Star...she really needs you. And please, leave Speedy alone? He's got enough on his shoulders as it is. Don't waste time passing around blame." Raven forced herself to smile, she could only hope it was reassuring.

She wasn't ready for the vise-like grip on her wrist. Biting her lip once more, Raven stared into the dark glasses of her leader. Was he that adamant about avoiding the alien? Wouldn't it be best to get things over with?

Raven continued to eye him warily, saying nothing as he bent down as he whispered softly into her ear. Was he trying to scare her?

Perhaps.

Why else would he threaten her...why else would his death-like hold on her wrist tighten even more? The sorceress knew what he was trying to do. Why else would he bring up the past? Why else would he mention her addiction to sleeping pills? Why else would he mention her alcohol problems?

Raven wanted to laugh. As if such petty things could bring her down. Violet eyes narrowed and Raven pushed him back, a snarl on her ruby red lips. "So you resort to this? Robin, do not make me lose my temper. I will not be controlled by you. You do not scare me."

Robin forcefully pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her slender body. His cold fingers dug painfully into her waist, and Raven bit back the urge to wince. She couldn't let him see that she was in pain...it wouldn't do to admit defeat so soon. So the sorceress said nothing as she glared, listening to his menacing whisper once more.

Raven let out a mocking laugh. Robin was such an amusing human at times. "Robin, read my lips. I belong to no one. Not you, not the mayor, not Justice League...no one. Being a member in Teen Titans does not mean you own me."

Robin released her slowly. "Fair enough. But don't tell me how to handle Star. And don't mention Speedy to me again."

Raven shook her head. "No, you need to leave him out of this. Why are you acting like he planned the whole thing? You've known him longer than I have. Whatever Star told you is a lie. You know that, right?"

The Boy Wonder looked away, fists clenching in anger. Raven said nothing, her eyes blank and strangely without compassion. He knew the truth. He wouldn't be Robin if he couldn't figure it out.

"Robin, you have to forgive her. Aren't we just as guilty for covering up our own mistakes?" Raven questioned softly. The sorceress bit her lip as the once hushed strumming behind her escalated slightly, the tune giving of an angry vibe. How does Derek do that? One minute the guitar was happy, the next irritable and annoyed.

Was it the change in chords? The speed of his fingers? Maybe another of his strange 'gifts'?

"Rae, don't bring that up. Just don't." Robin's frustrated voice drew the sorceress back from her musings.

So now he wanted to bury reality? What good will come of denying what happened between them? If they had been caught, wouldn't he want forgiveness as well? "So what, just deny the truth? Do you really think it's something you can carry to the grave? My tongue won't stay silent forever." Raven intoned menacingly. She didn't want to threaten him. But what else could she do? They couldn't function as a team if Robin and Starfire continued in this manner.

"You're threatening me?" The leader snorted, sounding rather skeptical. "You think she'll just let you off the hook?"

A wicked laugh escaped Raven's lips. "Was _I _the one plagued with guilt? Did _I_ beg and plead for our actions to remain a secret?" What makes you think I even care about Starfire forgiving me? _You're_ the one feeling horrible about it. _You're _the one who can't sleep at night."

"Why are you like this, Raven? You can't be serious, can you? Do you really expect me to believe that deep down you don't care?" Robin scoffed. "I'm not falling for that."

Raven smiled knowingly. "You think you have me all figured out, don't you? You forget one thing, Robin. I am not human. This guilt...why should I feel it?" A malicious light entered the sorceress' eyes. "It was your fault, was it not? You started it, you ruined my life...shouldn't you take all the responsibility?" A sadistic laugh escaped her upturned lips. "Robin, the Boy Wonder! Just imagine the headlines! But...what would you call it? Assault? No, it would have to be statutory, cause you took advanta-"

Robin's shaking hands clamped down on the sorceress' lips. The violet haired titan continued to stare at him, her eyes glittering with insanity. She pushed Robin's hand away and began to laugh hysterically, staggering backwards into a nearby chair. Poor Robin! Poor, poor Robin. So frightened and uneasy! Was this what they meant by 'be sure your sins will find you out'?

Raven sighed, her violet eyes still trained on the Boy Wonder. It was the only way...he needed to talk to Starfire. And if she had to threaten him, so be it. "Robin, talk to Star...she needs you. Leave Speedy out of it...he's just as sorry as you are."

Raven stood, her face stoic and uncaring, eyes now passive and nonchalant. "And forget about me...I may have been worthless to you, but I still have my pride."

**oOoOo**

Golden eyes stared at the sorceress, noting the unusual stiffness of her back, and the awkward slant of her neck. The man turned, staring at the Titan leader, mouth twitching as he took in the teen's shaking hands and heavy breathing.

The boy was frightened.

Derek smirked. What was it that could scare him this much? Was Raven really that frightening? Or was he finally catching on to the fact that Raven was slowly slipping away, slowly becoming someone unrecognizable. Did he not know? How could he be so blind to the facts?

The signs were all there, right? Surely he noticed the strange mumbling, the random outbursts and insomnia? Derek pushed his hair from his eyes and began to strum softly. "Frightening, isn't she?" He stared with curiosity as Robin whirled around, a strange twist on his lips.

"Do you really think she meant everything she said?" Derek questioned, his golden eyes staring at the guitar in his hands. He had to know what Robin thought. It was simply to...ludicrous. Wasn't he trained by Batman? Shouldn't he have caught on already? How could someone claim to be a leader and yet be oblivious to the fact that their teammate was...mentally unstable.

Robin sighed tiredly. "What's your point?"

Derek stared at the boy, a dangerous look in his eyes. "Aren't you her best friend? Why can't you see she's dying inside?" An exasperated laugh escaped the man's lips. "You think I didn't know about the alcohol and pain meds?"

Robin stiffened, a look on shock etched onto his face. "You know? Since when?"

Derek raised an eyebrow, his golden eyes now beginning to glow with an eerie light. "Does it matter? Everyone has their reasons. Did you ever stop to find out hers?" Derek tilted his head slowly, his odd colored eyes focused intently on the teen before him.

Robin continued to stare back, his jaw set in defiance and his hands stiffly resting at his sides. It was clear he wasn't going to back down. Silence filled the room, the tune of instruments suddenly disappeared. A strange tension began to hover over the room, as Derek stared into the boy's darkly tinted glasses.

Robin paled and stumbled back, his trembling fingers rising up to clutch feverishly at his head. The Boy Wonder screamed and fell to the floor, his tortured cries echoing across the theater.

Derek stood, staring down at the writhing boy before him. A tiny smile graced his lips. "Hurts, doesn't it? Imagine living like this for several months...horrible, non?" The man smirked, a sadistic glint entering his glowing golden eyes. "Shall I stop? Have you learned your lesson? Perhaps another demonstration is in order?"

"No!" Robin shot out his hand, fingers grasping blindly before him. "Stop! Please!" The Boy Wonder gasped out, breathless and afraid.

**oOoOo**

"Derek, suffit."

The man turned at the sound of Raven's voice, the strange glow now absent from his eyes. His face was strangely blank and empty, as if he was not aware of his actions. Perhaps unaware wasn't the right term. The man seemed...disappointed.

"He cannot endure such pain, Derek. He is only a human, after all." Raven uttered calmly, an empty expression on her face, voice devoid of emotion. It was as if she didn't care.

Robin choked, as he pulled himself from the floor, the taste of blood filling his mouth. His head hurt, his throat hurt...every muscle in his body hurt. A couch racked the teen's chest, why was it so hard to breathe? The urge to puke overwhelmed the Boy Wonder as he lay on the floor, squinting against the painful theater lights.

What did he do? What kind of magic was this? Derek had powers? Was he one of those vampires like Gabe? How else was he to explain the glowing eyes, and the strange glimmer of retribution and judgement on his face? No, it was more than that. He wasn't a vampire...Raven wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Then what?

Robin's fingers clenched the chair beside him as the Boy Wonder tried to stand on his shaking knees. His head swam, the pain was unbearable. An agonizing groan escaped his lips. Damn it! Robin stared angrily at the man. "You-you monster! Monster!" An eerie silence enveloped as Robin's voice echoed out in the theater. His ice blue eyes glared in anger and resentment. His fists clenched tightly, as if ready for another fight. Robin was ready for anything.

Just not this.

Robin blinked, confusion etched across his face. What kind of reaction was that? Shouldn't he have been angry? Annoyed? Irritated? What was with that look? Robin's stomach sank as he stared into the man's golden eyes. He stared in horror as Derek's eyebrows rose and his jaw clenched tightly.

The Boy Wonder couldn't help but flinch in anguish as he watched the antique-looking guitar slip out from Derek's fingers and hit the floor with a sickening thud. Robin opened his mouth, then bit his lips in regret as Derek turned left the room. Why did he look so...dejected? Why did his eyes look so...tortured? The Boy Wonder collapsed to the floor, the pain in his head now filling his stomach with dread and guilt.

What had he done?

* * *

Raven bit her lip, wondering what to do.

She stared down at the guitar in her hands, thankfully, it was unharmed. The teenager shifted her weight to her other leg and knocked on the oak colored door in front of her. Her eyes closed once more, trying to quell the annoying fluttering in her stomach.

It wasn't the first time she'd visited Derek's apartment.

Raven smiled slightly as she remembered the trip to the aquarium, their midnight bowling escapade, and playing video games at his house till morning. Her powers had waned that night...as it had been a full moon. She returned to the Tower the next day and was punished by Robin for drugging him.

A dry laugh escaped the young woman's lips. She'd come over another time as well, and ended up watching cheesy chick flicks with Jessica, his cousin. Derek must have been annoyed, Raven thought with a chuckle.

Today was a different story though. She wasn't supposed to be happy-go-lucky or reminiscent. No, on the contrary. This was a serious mission. Raven needed to understand what went wrong. The door opened, and Raven fount her self staring into the bright blue eyes of Jessica. The sorceress smiled invitingly. "Hi. Derek is home, right?"

Jessica tilted her head slightly, eyes taking in the guitar with a suspicious glint. "He's home." The teen opened the door and ushered Raven inside. "Just not in a good mood. Did something happen? He doesn't usually forget his guitar."

Raven nodded, her eyes resting on a photo propped against the wall. This picture hadn't been there the last time she visited. "Is that Derek?" Raven questioned, a curious look in her eyes. He looked younger in the picture...maybe ten or eleven. His face was rounder then, but she could still see the narrow slant of his eyes and jaw.

Raven smiled as she studied his furrowed brows and close eyelids, marveling at his long defined eyelashes. So they were always that long? What event was this? Considering the suit, it must have been important, like a school concert or something, Raven mused. But, gosh! He looked so cool! "He plays the violin too?"

A look of caution flitted across Jessica's small face. "He can. Just chooses not to." The young girl turned and continued packing a light blue book-bag with several school books. "I'm going to study with a friend, so I can't keep you company. If you are in a hurry you can just leave the guitar on the counter."

"Um, Jessica. Does Derek know you are leaving?" Raven questioned, unsure of whether she should walk the girl to her destination. Derek was slightly protective of his cousin...and Raven didn't want to be blamed for negligence.

The girl bit her lip. "Yes and no. No because he's probably drunk right now. I wouldn't really want to be around Derek, he has a whole case of beer in his room...now."

Raven's eyes narrowed slightly. What was she insinuating?

Jessica smiled politely. "If it'll make you feel better; Derek, je pars maintenant! Au revoir!"At this loud farewell, the blonde haired girl jetted out the door, her forest green phone now glued to her ears.

Raven blinked, the smell of cherries still lingering in the hallway. A whole case of beer? The sorceress briskly walked down the hall and halted in front of Derek's room.

Pale fingers froze before the brass knob...was this the right thing to do? Raven held her breath, opened the door and entered the dimly lit room, violet eyes roaming until they spotted the man against the wall, an empty bottle dangling from his fingers. She swallowed tightly as the man tilted his head in her direction, golden eyes slowly appraising her figure. Raven bit back the shiver that crept up her spine. His eyes were so intense!

"Go home, Princess."

Raven pursed her lips in defiance. "No. Not until you tell me what's wrong." She entered the room and sat down on the floor beside him, her posture like that of the perfect Japanese seiza. The man raised an eyebrow, the bottle in his fingers swaying precariously. Silence filled the room. Suddenly, the bottle flew from his fingers, shattering loudly as it collided with the wall across from them.

Raven couldn't help the muffled scream that tore from her lips. Nor could she help remembering Erik's cold, ice-blue eyes and cruel taunting smile. Violet eyes flickered with suppressed fear as Derek picked up another bottle, his golden eyes strangely inquisitive. He swung the bottle between his thumb and forefinger once more, and then threw it against the wall again.

Raven screamed again, her folded hands clenched together as she remembered the cold examination table, Erik's cold ice blue eyes and the terrifyingly long needle he eventually plunged into her stomach. Why was he doing that? Was he trying to scare her on purpose?

Raven cringed as Derek's hand reached out to touch her cheek; only to yelp in surprise as the man playfully flicked her nose.

A grin spread on Derek's face. "My Princess scares easily, doesn't she?" His hand closed around the teen's slender wrists and swiftly he pulled the girl into his arms.

Raven inhaled sharply as Derek's arms wrapped around her and a rosy blush colored her cheeks. _My princess._ Somehow, those words pierced Raven's heart. It was like the feeling of the sun after being trapped in a cold building. Warm, content, safe.

He was Red X. He was on the wrong side of the law, he was her enemy and yet...somehow, being here like this felt right. Raven felt wanted...she belonged here, in his arms.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" Raven whispered, afraid to tarnish the peaceful silence. Her fingers gently clasped the man's shirt, the calming scent of chocolate and hazelnuts wrapping around her. Leaning against his chest like this, Raven could hear his steady heartbeat, and feel the rise and fall as he took each breath.

The sorceress' eyes fluttered shut, as a wave of emotions flooded her mind.

Anger, frustration, immense sorrow. Raven could feel them all, could taste the bitterness of sorrow, the tang of frustration, the velvety smoothness of anger. She dropped her barriers, let his emotions destroy the perfect order of her mind. Raven wanted to understand, needed to understand this man.

The man she loved so much.

"No one's called me that in a long time...I'd almost forgotten what it felt like." Derek whispered softly, a subtle anguish evident in his quiet voice. "Having powers that are uncontrollable...frightens people. Especially when someone gets hurt 'cause of it. You get treated like some evil person, like a monster."

Raven bit her lip. Yes, she knew the feeling all too well. The pain of of abandonment, the sting of shame. The self-hatred and anger. Being forced to live with unwanted powers, uncontrollable powers...it was a curse. A curse you dreaded with each rise of the sun, and tearfully plead for its disappearance each night.

Derek laughed sadly. "Having your own father call you a heartless monster really puts things in a different perspective. Somehow, everything's your fault. You get blamed for everything. The night my mother died, somehow it was my fault." A tense silence filled the room as the man paused, his labored breaths betraying the calm facade in his voice.

"She died, cause of me..." The man's quiet voice broke, as a pain filled groan escaped his lips.

Raven sat up, her violet eyes filled with sorrow. She clenched her fists as she watched Derek grasp his dark hair in frustration. The teenager bit her lip in worry as she watched the silent tears slip down his narrow face. Her heart cried out as she watched him gritting his teeth, trying desperately to stop the tears.

His pain...was too much.

Raven's stretched out her hand, slender fingers gently drying his tears. "Derek, don't. You have blamed yourself enough. You don't have to do that anymore! You have the chance to be yourself...to shine!"

Chance.

It was something Raven never had. The chance to throw everything away, to start anew. Derek was innocent, he had no blood on his hands. Nothing stopped him from living his life. He wasn't held down by guilt. "You are not a monster, you aren't an evil person." The sorceress lowered her head, a faint blush spreading on her pale cheeks.

"You're my angel."

Derek looked up, a glimmer of amusement in his moist golden eyes. A wry smile spread on his face as he questioned, "Why an angel?"

"Why am I a princess?" Raven questioned, a tiny smile gracing her lips.

Derek shrugged, reached out and picked up his guitar from the ground. A peaceful look filled his golden orbs as he strummed the instrument softly, piecing together a strangely familiar tune. Old, and southern sounding. As if it came right out of the Civil War era. And so very sad. Raven's eyes widened, she'd heard this before! Where had she heard this tune? Wasn't it from some movie Beastboy had dragged her to a week ago? The song that engraved itself in her memory and wouldn't leave until she looked it up?

What was the name again? Safe and Sound, wasn't it? It was such an eerie tune...so ethereal and ghost-like. And the lyrics were so beautiful, bittersweet and enchanting! Raven closed her eyes and began to sing softly, her voice filled with unspoken sentiment.

"_I remember tears streaming down your face  
__When I said, "I'll never let you go"_

_When all those shadows almost killed your light._

_I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"_  
_But all that's dead and gone and passed _

_Tonight..._

Confidence. Raven could hear her voice, filled with this new-found feeling. This empowering emotion she couldn't understand. Why was she confident? Why did she sound so sure, so determined...so hopeful? Raven didn't want to be hopeful, she didn't want to be confident!

But what choice was there? Raven needed hope, she needed to have confidence. For Derek's sake, she needed to be strong. It was the only way...the only way for them to be together.

_Just close your eyes  
__The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_  
_No one can hurt you now  
_  
_Come morning light_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound..."  
_

**oOoOo**

Her voice...

Derek looked up, eyes wide with astonishment. Why? Why was it always like this? The man's eyes fluttered shut, pain filling his chest at the young woman's breathtaking voice. His fingers were now moving on autopilot, he didn't even know what he was doing anymore.

Why did he even play this song? Derek couldn't forget the strange sensation that filled him the day he heard the tune. Once again, Jessica was to blame. If she hadn't forced him to go to see that movie, if she hadn't insisted on finding the song the next day, he wouldn't have this problem. That tune wouldn't have haunted him, forced him to play it out, to memorize it.

And now he was here, fingers playing of their own accord, while his heart ached at the raw passion in the woman's beautiful voice.

_"Don't you dare look out your window  
__darling_ e_verything's on fire_

_The war outside our door keeps raging on_

_Hold on to this lullaby_  
_Even when the music's gone  
_  
_Gone..."_

Derek inhaled sharply. Raven, why? Why must you do this? To someone who doesn't deserve you...someone who isn't allowed to be with you?

He wasn't supposed to feel this way, he wasn't supposed to feel reassured, wasn't supposed to be so trusting...He wasn't supposed to believe all those words. It was just a song. It wasn't supposed to mean anything to him. Words couldn't describe the love he had for the sorceress, his fondness of her. She made him feel...complete. Somehow she understood. And now this. This stupid song that he couldn't get out of his head. This stupid song that she happened to know the lyrics to.

This stupid song that crumbled the last of his restraints.

_"Just close your eyes_  
_The sun is going down_

_You'll be alright_  
_No one can hurt you now_

_Come morning light_  
_You and I'll be safe and sound..."_

God! Why was she so moving, why did her voice fill him with these emotions? How did she do it? How was she able to express so much feeling in her voice? He felt everything, saw everything etched onto her beautiful face. Derek could feel her anguish, could sense the longing in her voice...could taste the odd sweetness of hope. They washed over him, consumed his mind, comforted his soul.

Why?

_"Just close your eyes  
__You'll be alright"_

Derek didn't want to feel this way, didn't want to succumb to his desires. He promised himself, that she was off limits. Promised to only look and not touch. Promised not to hurt and corrupt someone so young and innocent. Funny how easily one's resolve crumbles.

As it did now. Now Derek wanted nothing more than to touch the beautiful woman sitting before him, to caress her pale unblemished skin, to revel in her peachy taste...to claim her as his own. "Raven, I don't want to hurt you."

_"Come morning light,  
__You and I'll be safe and sound..."_

He believed every word.

* * *

Gotham City.

A place filled with memories. Some good, some...unpleasant. Robin wasn't looking forward to traveling to Gotham, nor did he have any desire to stay there for a whole week.

A sigh escaped the teen's lips as he stared at several files. Two more people were found dead in Gotham, bringing the grand total to seven deaths. And on each body, that strange ankle tattoo. Robin sat back, in his office chair and began to spin slowly. Raven had a tattoo like that...in fact it was the exact same. Was it some sort of Gotham fad these days? It couldn't be...seeing as most of the dead victims were illegally brought into the country. Then some sort of tracking device?

But why would Raven have something like that? How could she have gotten it? Somehow, Robin felt that Raven was connected to everything. Her odd association with that vampire from Gotham and his blind daughter. The weird fearful vibe he'd been feeling from her ever since plans were made to travel to Gotham.

Raven always seemed to be in the middle of everything.

The teen bit his lip. Where was Raven by the way? She'd been missing ever since the charity concert. Ice blue eyes closed, and the feeling of dizziness faded from his stomach. Robin kicked his leg against the edge of the desk, a silly grin spreading on his face as the chair began to spin faster.

At least the charity concert went well. Raven did deserve a vacation, wherever she might be. Somehow, Robin never knew the sorceress was _that_ good at singing. It wasn't that he doubted her abilities...she just didn't seem to be the concert type. Neither did Derek for that matter.

Robin still couldn't fathom the idea of Derek playing the violin. Guitar yes, but definitely not violin. And he was so...good at it, too. Robin couldn't help but feel very envious.

Was envious the word? How could he describe it? Derek seemed to be good at everything. A musical genius with an uncanny technological talent. Cyborg had been extremely impressed with the way the man upgraded the T-car. And Raven was his. The one thing Robin wanted in life, Derek had. Raven chose him.

In his mind, Derek seemed...perfect.

"Robin. Smile anymore and I'll think you've been replaced."

Ice blue eyes opened at the voice and Robin stopped the spinning chair with his feet. "Rae, you've been gone for three days. I have something to tell you." His hands clenched in his lap, as a feeling of unease washed over him. "I'm sorry. For everything. I-I've been such a jerk, haven't I."

A sad chuckle escaped the sorceress lips. "I actually came to apologize as well. I've been a jerk too." A sigh of resignation escaped Raven's lips. "Guess that makes us even?"

Robin looked at the young woman, noting the apologetic look in her violet eyes. He also noted, with an odd sense of annoyance, the deep purplish-red mark at the base of her neck, and the over-sized red button up shirt she currently wore. She'd been with him these past three days? The Boy Wonder clenched his fist, swallowing back his question. "Um, the concert went well. I was surprised you could sing so well."

A light blush colored the teen's pale cheeks. "I hadn't planned on singing. Derek thought it might be a good idea. Uh, about Gotham...we shouldn't go. I have a really bad feeling about all this."

Robin's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Another vision?" He prayed it wasn't the case. The last time Raven had a vision, she ended up bedridden for six months. Even if she did; it wouldn't be possible to cancel the trip. The Justice League gave them orders...orders to investigate this Erik person.

One doesn't just disobey the Justice League, at least... not without consequences.

"No, not a vision. Something bad _will_ happen. People _will _die if we go to Gotham. Innocent people." The sorceress uttered, her voice a quiet, eerie whisper.

"Raven, what are you not telling me?" It was obvious the young woman knew more than she was disclosing. Robin just didn't understand why she kept mum about it all. Wasn't it better to have as much information about their opponents rather than to blindly rush to the battle? Didn't she realize that as a team, everyone had the right to know the risks?

"I must not speak of the atrocities. I cannot divulge his secrets. Innocent people will die." Raven intoned once more, violet eyes strangely blank and empty.

Robin bit his lip, trying to hold back his anger. "Then can you at least tell me about these tattoos?" The young man held out several photographs of the growing number of victims, each one bearing that strange ankle tattoo. Ice blue eyes watched his friend's face intently, hoping to see any sign of recognition. He wasn't expecting her to laugh softly.

"Robin. These are not tattoos. It's a brand, a bar-code...shackles?" Raven's voice trailed off and an odd look of realization entered her violet orbs. Her hands gripped the corners of the oversize shirt, fingers pale and trembling.

The Boy Wonder stared at his friend, a look of horror etched into his ice blue eyes. A barcode? Shackles? "Then w-why do you have one?!" It was more of an accusation than a question; his voice filled with a chastising and angry tone.

"Because..." Raven's shaking knees finally gave out, and the teen crumpled to the floor, chest heaving rapidly. "Because..." The young woman clutched at her chest, a look of anguish flooding her features.

"Raven! What's going on? You have to tell someone! Let us help you, please!"

The sorceress' hands dropped limply and the room stilled at the absence of her frantic breath. Raven seemed so...lifeless. The way her body swayed, ready to fold at the slightest touch, the awkward angle of her neck, and the eerie stillness of her chest. Did she really stop breathing? Surely it was some sick joke, right?

"Raven." The titan leader slid off the chair and crawled towards his purple-haired friend, fighting back waves of nausea. "Raven! Answer me!" He raised his shaking fingers to her pale throat, gently brushing the discolored bruise. Robin's heart sank...he couldn't feel a pulse. "Raven, what's going on? Why do you have that tattoo?"

Violet eyes stared emptily into his mask. Robin fell back, stunned, frightened but relieved. Raven was ok. A sigh escaped the Boy Wonder's lips. "Raven, you're not alone anymore. I'm here to help. Here to stay."

"Terra!" Beastboy's voice ricocheted as he dashed into the room anxiously. "Have any of you seen Terra? She didn't come home last night." His jade green eyes glittered with worry, and the boy was gnawing on his lip nervously. "She didn't leave a note."

Robin swallowed. How was he going to say this? "Beastboy, Terra's in Gotham, on a mission. We're joining her tomorrow." The titan leader rubbed his neck awkwardly. "I thought Cyborg told you the plan."

"Why did she go alone? How come this was decided without me?" A strange look of horror was painted on the boy's face, why was he acting like the geomancer was sent to her death?

"Terra's the best person for reconnaissance, legally, she doesn't exist. It's impossible to trace someone who doesn't exist, right?" Raven answered the boy, a dangerous glint in her violet eyes. Her voice sounded patronizing and condescending, as if she was speaking to a small child.

Robin stared silently, marveling at the sudden change in the sorceress. Wasn't she at the brink of death a few minutes ago? How could she stand there, so poised and professional...so emotionless and uncaring? Unless...Robin's eyes widened beneath the mask. She couldn't have...planned this out. How could she have anticipated this mission, a year before it happened? How could Raven have known that Terra would be needed so far into the future?

"You-You planned this, didn't you!" Beastboy screamed out, voicing Robin's fearful theory.

Maybe these deaths _were_ vampire related. Maybe this Erik _was_ a vampire, and Raven was trying to hide from him. This Erik person probably had powers, too...which explained the pain killers and sleeping pills. Terra could be immune to the mind-reading powers, seeing as she was a resurrected being. Raven must have anticipated this, and freed Malchior as well. The Boy Wonder clenched his fists. She'd been playing them all...just like Slade.

"How dare you! How dare you use Terra like this!" The shape-shifter screamed, jade green eyes filling with angry tears. His shoulders were shaking with anger, and fingers clenched in rage. "How could you be so...so evil, Raven!"

Raven scoffed. "Evil, me? Terra chose to go of her own free will." Raven's lips twisted into a strange smile. "I did warn her. I told her about the risks...and her consent was fully informed." The sorceress tossed her purple hair in an oddly haughty manner. "Besides, Terra is smart woman. She'll survive."

"You didn't really think I brought her back for your sake...did you? I'm a selfish, heartless bitch, after all."

* * *

**Derek is a strange character. I don't really know how to write in a man's perspective, so at times he comes off as very sensitive and emotional. ****Maybe 'overly intuitive' is the correct term. ****Would a guy really think like Derek is doing now? Probably only in the mangas.(I read too much of those.) ****Anyway, please look up Crystallize by Lindsey Stirling. It's this really awesome dub-step violin single.**

**And yes, Derek is that good.**

**Raven's not really a selfish, heartless bitch. Though Beastboy _did_ called her selfish in a previous chapter... I guess when someone is desperate, they might do things that seem unscrupulous. **

**Please review...I need them dearly. Your reviews are great pointers when writing. I've read them many times.**

~heartless16


	18. Chapter 18

**Once again, sorry for the wait. This chapter was difficult to write, and I'm still not convinced it is good. You be the judge.**

**The tune Starfire and Robin are referring to is "Can You See Jane" from the Thor movie soundtrack. The violin part of the song is very moving...please look it up on you tube.**

**Chapter 18**

**Disclaimer: look at chapter 1**

* * *

Robin couldn't help the berating emotions washing over him as he stared out the window. Eyes followed the raindrops as they sporadically traveled down the pane, bumping into each other, creating even bigger drops…only to fall and scatter.

Only to become irrelevant once more.

Was that simply the meaning to life? To enter a world, to be pushed along by some invisible force...then cast aside once all is said and done?Was that even fair? Terra had been granted life again...was it fair for this second chance to be spent once again in servitude?

What was Raven really thinking? Was desperation really the driving force behind this long anticipated scheme? Had this Erik been terrorizing Raven for so long, she was willing to sacrifice others like useless pawns in order to defeat him? What other secrets was the sorceress harboring? Who else was she manipulating? Malchior? She gave him life…was it in exchange for servitude? What of Gabe? Wasn't he irrevocably bound to the sorceress….could that too have been by design?

A thousand year old sorcerer and a vampire with an eternal obligation made quite the powerful pair, right? What about Jinx, with spells more dangerous than atomic bombs, and Argent, whose mysterious powers had yet to be classified? Did she befriend them on purpose? Or were they in on the plan from the beginning? Who else was wrapped around Raven's fingers?

Derek? Robin's fingers abruptly stopped their slow descent down the window pane. The young man bit his lip in contemplation, a suspicious look entering his eyes. Could Raven really have manipulated someone like Derek?

No.

That was impossible. Raven loved the man too much…it was painfully obvious. Robin could tell that the sorceress cared about Derek more than she would admit…and she'd most likely keep him out of her plans and schemes. Whatever they might be.

So Derek was obviously out of the picture. At least on that end. Robin still didn't trust the man…he simply didn't like his secretive nature, cryptic attitude and condescending tone. Robin wanted to make sure it wasn't Derek who was somehow pulling Raven's strings.

Didn't she meet him sometime before the shooting incident? How many times had the man come over when she'd finally recovered enough to receive visitors? It seemed he'd been there almost every weekend, with flowers and chocolates... sometimes even playing his guitar when Raven was in too much pain to speak. It was as if only Derek held the key to Raven's happiness.

It made sense...the idea that Derek had something to do with Raven's transformation. At least up until a point. Robin couldn't help but remember that incident in the theater…he couldn't help but remember the pain and Derek's cryptic words.

That incident was enough to know that Derek wasn't the cause…Erik was. And it was possible that even Derek was in the dark about Raven's blank past in Gotham. He probably didn't know anything either. All the man knew was the pain she felt.

Something Robin couldn't even recognize. How long had Raven been suffering? Argent mentioned something a long time ago…was this it? Had Raven really been dealing with Erik for over a year? All the signs were there…and Robin missed every single one.

"Robin?"

The man turned, eyes landing on the tall red-haired titan. When had she come in? Was he so lost in thought that he couldn't even hear her steps? Smiling tiredly, the young man crossed the room and sat down, motioning her to follow suit. "What is it?"

"Raven left again. I think she went to see Derek." Starfire's eyes were guarded and inquisitive, as if she'd been searching for a response. "I guess teleporting has its perks, huh?" A shaky laugh escaped the young woman's lips.

Robin smiled. "Yea, I guess it does. Did she say when she'd return?"

Starfire shook her head, wringing her hands in a nervous gesture. Pursuing her lips, the alien spoke. "She seemed really agitated, and kept speaking to me in French. I know she always speaks to Derek in French, but why?"

Robin ran his hands through already messed up tresses. "Derek is from Quebec, and they speak French there." The young man narrowed his eyes. Derek Beaulieu, the second son of a wealthy investment banker. His file was seemingly harmless, except the mysterious charges of arson, breaking and entering as well as attempted murder before his transference to the Gotham Juvenile Correction Center at the age of fourteen.

All the charges had been cleared...without official court documents of the trials. How was that possible? Who could have cleared such charges without going to court? Even if he was a minor, the Correction Center would have decided on a sentencing of some kind...like community service or even therapy, right? How was he able to graduate from high-school at the top of his class, gain admittance into a community college, and transfer to the California Institute of Technology...with such a tainted record?

"Robin, to be honest...I came here to apologize. It was wrong of me...to do what I did without talking to you. I was afraid you'd hate me, so I concealed the truth..and in doing so, succeeded at the very thing I was trying to avoid." A sorrowful laugh escaped the alien's lips.

Robin's ice blue eyes clouded with regret as he recalled all that transpired over the past few weeks. Fighting back a wave of guilt, the Boy Wonder reached out, quietly wiping away the alien's tears with his shaking fingers. "Don't apologize..._I_ should be saying sorry. It wasn't my place to get angry...you only did what you thought was the right choice. I shouldn't have... ever said such mean things. Can you forgive me?"

Starfire smiled and wrapped her arms around the young man. "I already have. But Robin, may I ask you...will Terra be alright? Sometimes I worry...maybe Raven made a mistake? Or maybe Terra can't do what is expected?"

A sigh escaped Robin's lips as he ran his fingers through the young woman's long red hair. "We can only hope everything works out. Hey, remember that one day, Derek came over and played his violin for Raven?"

The alien drew in a swift breath, jade green eyes wide with remembrance. "Yes, that tune was from a movie...there were tears in his eyes as he played." Starfire sat up, arms pressing against Robin's shoulders and her eyes glowing with excitement. "It was breathtaking...almost as if I could feel a deep sorrow and longing. Then it suddenly changed...and I could sense this-this hope. Yet, Derek cried. Why?"

Robin bit his lip, ears still ringing with the distant memory. Why did he cry? "I really couldn't say. But to be honest, I don't blame him. Somehow, I don't think any of us will be happy once all this ends."

**oOoOoOo**

"How did you meet Raven?"

Bruce Wayne sighed heavily, placing the small glass of whiskey on the desk quietly. His dark brown eyes took on a brooding look and sadness flitted across the man's rugged features. "I first saw her in this dingy bar on the west side of Gotham. She was a singer."

He picked up a fountain pen, absently twirling the object between his fingers. "I only remembered her because she looked out of place…too young to wear such an enticing dress, too young to be employed as a singer. It confused me…so I kept coming back. Some days I'd see her, and sometimes she wasn't there." The man set down the fountain pen, a nostalgic smile etched into his face. "But God, her voice was amazing!"

In the distance, a clock began to chime, filling the room with a tranquil sensation. How many times had he been in the office, talking with Bruce like this? Countless times…and never had he seen such a face as that! Robin shifted in his seat, masking the uncomfortable sensation that settled in his stomach. "R-really. Um, did you ever talk to her when you went to the bar?"

"I never spoke a word to her…till she tried to rob me one night. Calm down, I'll explain. See, there was a day I'd gone to meet a business colleague and was ambushed on my way back to the car. I didn't realize it was her until she spoke. All she wanted was money… didn't take anything else. I was further intrigued."

Bruce took a sip of the whiskey, a quiet laugh escaping his lips as he narrated past events. Placing his palms against the arms of the office chair, the man sat back, sighing again with a touch of melancholy. "Diana and I found her two weeks later; under one of the overpasses…she'd been beaten pretty badly. We let her go after a day or two, she insisted on leaving and wouldn't take her case to the police."

"There was nothing you could do to stop her? And you couldn't find out where she went? "Robin questioned a desperate look in his eyes. What if she'd been living with Erik and still knew his whereabouts?

Bruce exhaled tiredly, fingers drumming quietly on the arm rest of the chair. "She literally disappeared…I looked away for a few seconds, and turned back to an empty chair. To be honest, I did have a feeling she wasn't completely human…her eyes and hair always fascinated me." The man laughed, a strange sadness flickering in his eyes. "I thought she disappeared for good… then Diana found her several weeks later. Behind that seedy jazz bar, wearing that skimpy red dress…we thought she wouldn't survive the night."

"How did you find out about Erik?"

"Raven had nightmares for weeks…she'd wake up screaming that name night after night. And every time we tried to talk about it…she said nothing. Whatever happened, whatever that man did…she refused to say anything."

Robin gulped, throat dry and scratchy. His stomach filled with dread, and the young man clenched his fists, trying to quell the onslaught of guilt that plagued his mind. Nightmares, Raven? How could he not have known this?

"Ah, know how we eventually identified the man's whereabouts? Raven saw your picture one day…she said your eyes are the same. To be honest, the two of you are so identical…it frightened me."

* * *

"Derek, why do you always treat me like this?" Raven's eyebrows were scrunched in curiosity, a shy blush decorating angled cheeks. Her violet eyes stared straight ahead, fixated on the calendar hanging from the wall. The teenager bit her lip as she felt his hands gently roaming up and down her thigh.

Derek laughed softly. "What's wrong, love?

What was wrong?

_Everything_, Raven thought as she struggled against the man's tight grasp. She hated feeling this way. Why did he always make her feel like a child? Why was she sitting in his lap, with his arms wrapped around her as if she was a hyper toddler?

And maybe she couldn't sit still…it was hard to accomplish such a thing when he kept licking her ear. "Why do you always treat me like a child?" Raven could feel the calm beating of his heart, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and the composed aura surrounding him. It was odd to be honest, shouldn't he be excited and on edge … he _was_ watching a football game after all. Did he just not care?

The man chuckled. "Princess, you_ are_ a child."

Raven shivered as Derek placed a gentle kiss against her neck. "I'm eighteen, Derek. Is six years really that big of a difference?" The sorceress bit her lip, trying to quell the fear rising in her stomach. The sick feeling of déjà vu flooded her memory, and Raven closed her eyes…hoping to block out the memories.

Derek's hands stilled. "I guess it might, to some people. Robin doesn't seem to fancy it. My brother thinks I'm crazy." The man was quiet for several minutes…a contemplative mood emanating from his aura.

Softly he poked the young woman's cheek. "Maybe it's your adorable smile…I always thought it was cute. Or the way your eyes light up when you talk about music." A gentle smile tugged at the man's lips. "Perhaps your incurable chocolate craving...you can't deny your childish nature, can you?"

Raven laughed, eyes twinkling with mirth. "So I _act_ childish, then. Fair enough. Argent says you have a Lolita complex. Do you?"

"What would you do if I said yes?" Derek whispered, lips ghosting over the crook in her neck.

The sorceress froze, a look of horror flitting across her features. She drew in a shaky breath and pushed even harder against the man's grip. Everything was just too similar…The television's constant chatter, the rays of sunlight scattered across the floor. That scent of Calvin Klein cologne…the way his breath heated her skin, the sensation of his lips and tongue caressing that spot on her neck. The gentle grazing of his teeth…_sharp teeth_.

A frightened whimper escaped Raven's lips and she began to squirm frantically stuttering with a fearful voice, "L-let me go, Erik!" Raven could feel Derek's hands pull away; she sensed the pain in his aura as she slipped free from the man's arms and darted across the room…but why she was running?

Why did she feel so afraid?

Why was she cowering here in the corner, trembling like a leaf in the wind? Somehow, everything had changed... everything was so distorted now. This wasn't Derek's apartment anymore…she was trapped in Erik's mansion, with those accursed window blinds, the television that chattered from morning to night and that wretched smell of his Calvin Klein….the same cologne he always put on to taunt and aggravate her.

Raven's violet eyes darted wildly as she watched the man walk closer… golden orbs had become cold, frigid blue eyes. Erik's eyes…it was that wicked man who stepped closer, his hands reaching out… what was he going to do this time?

A frightened shriek escaped Raven's shaking lips. Clutching her neck with icy fingers, the teenager cried out, "I'm sorry I ran away! Don't hurt me…please don't!"

**oOoOoOo**

Perplexed.

Derek knelt down in front of the sorceress and could only stare in astonishment when she screamed and curled further into the corner, a string of jumbled apologies leaving her lips. "Princess…" What past memory was she trapped in? What did Erik do to frighten Raven so much?

"Cousin, leave her be." Jessica quietly uttered, her hand gently touching Derek's shoulder.

The man said nothing as he backed away, golden eyes filled with anxiety. Was there really no way to help her? Derek buried his hands in his dark messy hair…he hated this feeling of helplessness. He couldn't bear it…listening to Raven's tormented sobbing. His heart clenched at her tears…could nothing be done? Must Raven suffer…must she go through this torment alone?

"Raven is trapped in the past …she can't sense us anymore." Jessica spoke again, her voice colored with an uncharacteristic blankness. "She needs to find her way back…however long that will take."

Even her face was impassive… Derek couldn't help but notice the strong resemblance to his father. Seeing such a likeness of his father only served to intensify the agonizing headache and the man slumped into a chair, resting his head against the nearby table. A groan escaped his lips, why did his neck hurt so much?

Closing his eyes, Derek fought to tune out the agonizing sound of Raven sobbing, the irritating clang of metal coming from the kitchen and the incessant jabber of the sports analysts as they reviewed the game he'd only been half-watching. How come everything imaginable was so fucking loud today? Who turned on the radio in his room and why was the air conditioning so fucking noisy today?

Glancing up at the sound of yet another pot cover hitting the floor, Derek cursed loudly and slammed his fists against the table, menacing golden eyes trained on his smart-ass cousin. If she was doing that on purpose...

Jessica looked up from the kitchen, setting down the potatoes and the knife with a dull thud. Her eyebrows scrunched not with concern, but with sheer curiosity. An odd smile graced the girl's face as she proclaimed, "You can feel her pain, then? What a strange mind you have, cousin."

Derek glared at the teen. "Yes. Yes I can. And it's so fucking annoying!"

Jessica's eyebrow lifted slightly, and a smug look crossed the girl's face. She set down the peeler and exited the kitchen, sitting down in the chair across the table. "Is it? When she finally goes insane, perhaps you'll appreciate such insight."

"What are you saying?" Derek mumbled, his face once again buried between his arms. Why was Jessica such a know-it-all? Why was she always talking as if she was god? How much more obnoxious did a thirteen year old girl need to be?

"You told me once that aunt had a nervous breakdown like this… some time before the fire, right? Don't you remember what she said? About curiosity leading you down a dark path?"

Quickly Derek looked up, his eyebrows scrunched in surprise. What was with this feeling of dread washing over him? "Yea…she said something about insanity and confinement too. What about it?" Those same words he'd dismissed years ago as meaningless...she'd been adamant about that warning, and he reluctantly promised to be careful. Could one so effortlessly stroll onto fate's path and not realize it?

Jessica's turned, blue eyes taking in the huddled form of Raven in the corner. "Somehow…when aunt mentioned insanity, I don't think she meant you."

"Don't…don't even go there, Jessica. It's impossible. My mother couldn't have foretold the future…otherwise she'd have known about the fire." Derek's voice shook…he didn't even believe his own words. Was she really a seer, like everyone in her old neighborhood seemed to think?

Standing suddenly, the young man crossed the room, moving with determination towards the case of beer resting in the fridge. _This was too much_, Derek thought as he twisted off the top and downed half the contents of a bottle of Heineken. Could his mother have been the cause of his weird abilities? A tired sigh escaped the man's lips.

So this was why she insisted he was a 'gift from the gods'? To be cursed with these burdensome powers forced to live the life of an outcast...by his own mother? Shaking his head, the man finished the bottle and turned back to the fridge, desperately trying to drown the strange sensation of doom resting against his chest.

Jessica smiled. "You can't rule out that possibility, Derek. Besides, everyone knows that seers can't divine their own future."

Curse that know-it-all voice.

**oOoOo**

"_All freedom comes with a price."_

Raven's voice, cold and foreboding, had plagued the man's dreams for weeks. It was a common saying…and yet the meaning had been so muddled back then. Why now, did those words resurface?

Derek pushed away from the table, crossed the room and knelt before the teenager once more. It was heartbreaking…the sight of the woman he loved, crouched fearfully in the corner, flinching away from his outstretched hands. Was this what she meant that day?

This price of freedom…was it really so costly?

Golden eyes glittered with regret. "I always seem to hurt you, don't I?" Drawing a shaky breath, the man sat back, shaking hands obscuring his tears. "Forgive me Raven…I never intended to cause you so much agony." Derek exhaled slowly, as if fighting for composure. Blinking against an onslaught of tears the young man began to speak once more, hands now clenched tightly at his sides. "I want to help, Raven…I want to understand; God knows I do. But why do you hide everything? Don't you trust anyone? Don't you trust me?"

Violet eyes stared blankly, a confused look etched onto the young woman's face. Pursing her lips, the titan turned towards the wall, an anger plastered onto her features. "Don't look at me that way, I beg…don't. "

"Why? You can't keep pushing me away, Princess."

The teen slammed her fists against the wall, still hiding her face from the man. "What do you want me to say, huh? I can't tell you…I can't risk it! So please, just stop!" It wasn't anger emanating from the sorceress' voice. Instead, it was tainted with a strong sense of desperation. Was she begging him to simply drop everything? To forget what he'd seen?

An exasperated sigh left the man's lips. "Damn it, Raven just tell me the truth!" The ceramic mug left his hands, hurtling through the air and crashing loudly against the wall.

Silence filled the apartment.

It was quiet, and yet, so animated… so noisy. The sound of the broken cup, raining upon the hard floor, seemed almost symbolic…a final testament to Raven's fragmented mind. Sanity had long since fled from the young woman…the fragile threads now frayed beyond repair. Irritation and annoyance could be heard loudly, from the incessant and impatient clacking of Raven's nails against each other to Derek's aggravated fast-paced breathing as he walked up and down across the room soundlessly.

"You want the truth." A tired sigh left the titan's lips. "I don't need to tell you that vampires exist, nor do I need to explain their powers and abilities. When I first came here, to earth; I didn't realize Erik was a vampire…had I known I wouldn't have finished high school so fast. How can one be so kind and cruel at the same time? The whole time...I was just this toy, something to amuse him."

The sorceress slouched her shoulders, wearily placing her head against the wall, a shaky breath escaping clenched teeth. A heavy air of exhaustion and despondency floated around her…almost as if she'd given up the will to live. "Do you know what it's like Derek…to feel worthless, unimportant and helpless… to have your freedom stolen with no chance of retrieval? It was then that I finally understood what it meant to be a prostitute. You're worth defined by the highest bidder…but who can determine the price of life? Who are they to decide, to pick and choose those worth more or less?"

Defiantly, the teenager wiped away the lone tears streaking down her pale cheeks, angrily taking in shallow breaths. "There were times, he'd force me to go to these expensive parties…and parade me in front of his people like some conquest. Then again, as the half-breed daughter of Trigon, perhaps I was. I've seen many things, Derek… heard things experienced things…"

The man had ceased from movement, mind struggling to make sense of the excruciating pain emanating from his chest. Whose pain was it? How could something hurt so much? Biting back a groan, the young man slid to the floor…vision now blurry and unfocused.

"Oh, but you wanted the truth. See, Erik…he's tormenting me, punishing me because I ran away. Again. First time… no never mind, it's too painful. Second time, he killed my friend. And almost killed me too. Third time…I won't talk about it. Fourth time, he nearly killed me…and then set me free." A sardonic laugh left the sorceress' lips. "Now he wants me back, and what? I'm just supposed to give in and obey? No, I'm not going down without a fight…and I don't care who gets in the way. I don't care who suffers."

Turning, the young woman's unnerving violet eyes glowed with a dangerous intensity. "But you…I will not sacrifice. I cannot let you, Derek, suffer on my behalf. If Erik gets his hands on you…then I shall kill you myself."

Derek laughed sarcastically. "Perhaps you'd better just kill me now, because I'm not going to fold my hands and watch you fight alone. Not after everything we've gone through."

"Derek… you know, sometimes I wondered if you were real. The way you understood me…it was so dream-like. So enchanting…like a light finally shining through my dark thoughts. You gave me hope…" The titan closed her eyes, a mournful expression flitting across her features. Even her voice was filled with a frantic desperation. Her mind was set…adamantly so. "I don't want this dream to end."

"Raven, look at me. I promised not to leave you, didn't I? Look at me! Can't you see that I meant every word? I want you to trust me Raven, can't you understand?"

Violet eyes slowly turned, the young woman's tearful gaze meeting determined golden orbs. Was this what it meant to see into one's soul? To feel such captivation...to suddenly understand everything? Gently, Derek reached out, fingers wiping away the tears from Raven's pale cheeks. Could she see his soul...was she able to understand, to know just how much he cared?

"I see you."

* * *

_Soul mate._

_Such a strange word. What does it mean? What does it imply? That there are two souls out there…simply waiting for each other? That somehow those two souls must find each other and live happily ever after?_

_I used to laugh at such stories, used to shake my head when Jeremy insisted they were real… I scoffed at the idea that perhaps I too had a soul mate somewhere waiting for me. It was nonsense, in my mind. How could a half-breed, a being hated by all, have a soul mate…let alone someone to love? _

_At the time I didn't realize Jeremy was right. _

_When Jeremy died…I died. It was only when he left how I realized how much he completed me. He was the light in my dark mind…and I thought I'd never be whole again. Was Jeremy my soul mate…or were we simply two friends who didn't know how to live without each other? __I suppose I'll never know._

_Is a soul mate something fate decides? Derek thinks so. He thinks we knew each other eons ago. That somehow, fate brought us back together. After all, it was impossible to completely separate light from darkness, yin from yang. Just as it was impossible to separate Derek's presence from my mind, and I from his. __How could I explain it... knowing his thoughts, understanding his emotions despite his physical absence?_

_But did all this mean were soul mates?_

_Since we found each other…aren't we supposed to live happily ever after? Shouldn't we be happily married by now…and traveling to see the world like in the movies? __Shouldn't we be free? __Why is he in jail, why is he being punished instead of those who blackmailed him? Why am I here, trapped in this god forsaken tower, waiting to give birth to a child who might never know their father?_

_I don't have that happy ending Jeremy always spoke about…the one full of smiles and laughter. I found my soul mate…only to lose him once more. Was this yet another sacrifice...another price to pay for wanting freedom? Why was freedom so costly? Why would fate be so cruel as to bring us together like this?_

_Still…I don't have any regrets ._

* * *

**Yea... I watched Avatar recently and after looking up the lyrics to I See You, wrote the last two scenes. When Raven says "I see you" it's figurative...like she's finally understanding him.**

**In my mind, the bond between Raven and Derek is almost like sharing thoughts. He senses her pain, feels her emotions and thought, to the point of confusion. At times, even he can't distinguish his thoughts and feelings from hers. It works both ways...but I digress. **

**Please review!**

**~heartless16**


	19. Chapter 19

**I'm not too sure about this chapter...in my mind, I think it sums up everything that Raven's been going through...and why she kinda went off the deep end.**

**Sorry about the lateness...taking classes during the summer can be very time consuming.**

**Disclaimer: Look in Chapter 1**

**Chapter 19**

* * *

Olive green eyes stared with muted trepidation as he glanced around the small, club. The soft jazz music washed over him, its pleasant tones quite the contrast to the dingy tables, and peeling paint.

Slowly, hands crunched in the pockets of his dark blue jeans, Beastboy shuffled to the table, and sat down beside a teary looking brunette clad in short red dress. Turning slightly, he smiled at the young woman, noting the heavy eye shadow that framed her round eyes. "Sorry to ask you out like this, Melissa. I'm sure there are other things you'd rather do.

The young woman was silent for several minutes, slowly sipping at the colorless liquid in her glass. Pursing her lips, the woman sighed. "Nothing important. Besides, you needed to find your friend...and I'd be glad to help any way I can."

Silently, the young man discretely slid a photo across the table to the woman eyeing her carefully for any kind of emotion. Would she remember? It had been about two months ago…The young man looked up, eyes meeting with the inquisitive bartender.

She smiled, dark brown eyes twinkling with a strange intuition. "You with the cops? It's been a while since a detective came in here looking for answers."

Beastboy smiled, taking a sip of the drink sitting in front of his clasped fingers. "Not a cop. Just trying to find a friend."

Melissa's eyes seemed to waver with uncertainty as she turned towards the young man. "This person…she's your friend? Her long brightly painted fingernails tapped the photograph absently, and the woman took a long sip of the alcoholic beverage before speaking, her voice carrying strange derisive undertones. "Yea, I've seen her before."

Beastboy's eyes stared in wonder. Turning, he eyed the woman's face, trying to search for some signs of evasiveness or anxiety. Containing his excitement at the long overdue lead, the young man spoke quietly, fingers playing with the ring on his finger. "You two didn't get along?"

The woman snorted. "It's nothing personal…I just hate blondes. "

At this the bartender turned, eyebrows raised in astonishment. "Ya hate blondes? Whatever for?" The woman pushed another glass of vodka in Melissa's direction and leaned over to press a lighter into the brunette's rapidly moving fingers.

Beastboy said nothing as Melissa took a few drags of the cigarette, ears tuned in to the soulful music lazily drifting across the hazy room. Everyone seemed to be smoking…and drowning their troubles with bottles and bottles of alcohol.

This place, this seedy joint was no place for a child! How then could Melissa, a woman who just turned twenty, enter such a place with abandon? And even to receive drinks? Didn't the bartender ask for identification first?

What kind of place was this?

"Long story", came Melissa's curt reply. "I did see this girl, Tarra or something like that? She was in this bar last week."

"Last week? Do you know why?"

Melissa's face seemed to pale and her eyes glanced around the mostly empty room, finally settling her gaze back on the mahogany colored table. Leaning on her arm, the woman stared into Beastboy's eyes, an eerie intensity in her gaze. "You mean you don't know? Look around. See that girl there; sitting in the booth? And the other one talking to that man? They didn't just come in here for fun. That's what Club Passion's for. "

"What are you saying?" Beastboy swallowed, hoping the fear filling his mind wasn't etched into his features. Swallowing, the young man took a sip of his drink, feigning ignorance. Tilting his head, he plastered what he hoped to be confusion on his face.

"I'm saying that they're being paid to come in here…get it?" Melissa whispered harshly into his ear, pulling away and staring at him with a guarded look.

Fuck.

Beastboy inhaled slowly, trying to resist the urge to slam his fists against the counter. Of all things to get tangled with….was this what Raven was running from the whole time, then? Why drag Terra into the mess? What could Raven possibly gain by sending Terra straight into the midst of an ongoing prostitution ring?

With a quiet voice Beastboy spoke again, "Then, have you seen this person? She's also a friend of mine…she's been missing for a few weeks and her parents are really worried. They traveled together, I think. "The shape shifter questioned, deciding not to unnerve the woman any more than necessary.

"Son of a bitch. Haven't seen her face in so long!" A hoarse laugh left the woman's lips, an odd sorrow etched into her voice. The woman lit another cigarette, taking a long drag and exhaling slowly. Leaning against the table, the woman faced him once more…brown eyes moist with unshed tears. "Disappeared so suddenly…"

Jade green eyes lightened. "You know her! Can you tell me where she's living? I just want to pass along a message from her parents. Tell them she's Ok and stuff."

The mournful look flitted from her features, leaving only a steely guarded glare. "Look, whatever mess Tara's gotten into just leave it. Cause something bad will happen." Her long fingernails tapped erratically on the picture of Raven, then darted away, crushing the cigarette onto the coaster. With a huff the woman turned back to her drink, fingernails now tapping out a melody on her cold glass cup.

"Was she…one of them?" He tapped on Raven's picture, eyeing the woman beside him for any signs of recognition.

"One of?" Melissa laughed cynically. "She was always more like his pet…or maybe a slave. That girl couldn't go anywhere unless she was latched to that bastard's arms. She was obviously his favorite…Tried to run away once too; he nearly killed her that night. Hell, she may even be dead for all I know!"

"Who tried to kill her?"

"Why, Eric Greyson of course!"

**oOoOo**

Starfire blinked rapidly as she fought against the intoxicating lure of sleep. Wiping the lone tears that escaped her eyelids, the teenager focused once more on the CCTV security footage. What exactly did Robin expect to find, a leprechaun?

Yawning for the umpteenth time, the alien took swig of coffee from the lavender colored coffee mug resting on the table. Everyone always said coffee helped one stay awake. Perhaps it didn't work all the time? Puckering her lips against the strange lingering bitterness, Starfire rose from the office chair and paused the footage. Maybe a walk would be more effective.

It was already midnight…and Raven still hadn't returned. Was she with Derek? Or had Raven been taken by the same entity that kidnapped Terra? A sigh left the dry lips of the teenager. What kind of horrible fate was this? That someone could suffer so much in life? Shaking her head, Starfire made the sign of the cross…maybe the strange sign would protect her? It always worked in the movies…

"Ah, Cyborg! Have you located Raven?" The alien could sense that he hadn't…the irritable look on his face spoke volumes. It was better to feign ignorance than to say something rash. Tilting her head in a false display of curiosity, Starfire hoped maybe Robin would give in and let them sleep. Raven could take care of herself…she always did. She probably went to Derek's house…and didn't want to come back.

Nobody would blame her.

"Nope. The signal on her T-com seems to have been jammed. I don't know if she's doing it on purpose…maybe she doesn't want anyone to find her?"

Starfire crossed the hall and entered into one of the many sitting rooms present within the large mansion. Eying the filled bookshelf with interest, the alien contemplated Cyborg's question. Raven not wanting to be found usually meant trouble. "But if she simply went to Derek's abode…why would that need to be a secret?" Starfire inquired, eyebrows rising as she lifted the mug to her lips.

Why indeed. Starfire could think of no reason that Raven would want to hide her boyfriend from them…after all; didn't he meet everyone at the beach party? Everyone knew him…especially after the charity event. He was a nice guy…it's not like Derek was a thief or a serial killer.

Turning suddenly, Starfire caught the curious look of horror that danced across the man's face. What was that about? Jade green eyes narrowed as the man shrugged and spoke with a nonchalant voice.

"Maybe she didn't want Robin to 'investigate' her boyfriend. He'd do the same to any of us." Cyborg's voice seemed normal enough…but there was no mistaking the dread that gleamed in his eyes.

Starfire bit her lip in apprehension. Raven really was hiding things…which meant trouble. It always did. Forcing her breaths to calm, the alien closed her eyes and turned to the cybernetic standing across her in the large room. She watched with muted trepidation as the man paced up and down the floor…a very Robin-esque habit. Was this serious? Or did Cyborg know something important? "Cyborg, when does Beastboy return from his inquiries…I thought he was only interviewing that one lady?"

The door slammed shut and Starfire turned to see Beastboy storm into the room and flop into a chair, his eyebrows furrowed in rage. What was his problem? "The interview was bad?" The alien inquired, holding back the urge to approach him. Tilting her head in curiosity, the alien couldn't help but notice the shapeshifter' clenched fists and furrowed brows. Obviously something was not right…how come everyone seemed so upset?

"Oh no, it was great! Very enlightening." The sarcastic tones coating Beastboy's voice weren't lost on the two standing in the reading room.

Starfire let out a quiet breath, facing the bookshelf once more as Robin entered carrying a stack of papers. What could have gone wrong? "What did the lady say, to have you so angry?" Somehow, Starfire couldn't help feeling that Beastboy was once again blowing things out of proportion. Why else would he scour the city searching for Terra? Why was he acting like Raven threw her to the dogs? Terra even wrote a letter, with proof that she knew exactly what would happen should she go undercover.

"Where's Raven! She'll have to answer for this herself!" The shape-shifter intoned angrily, folding his arms and sitting back impatiently.

Robin sat down across from the shape-shifter, his masked face pointing towards the grandfather clock on the opposite wall. Pursing his lips, the young man finally addressed the shape shifter. "What did Raven do this time? How many times must I repeat this? Raven told Terra everything…Terra can take care of herself."

Beastboy gave the leader a look of disgust and annoyance. Turning to face the wall the shape-shifter uttered angrily, "Did Raven tell _you _everything? Can you honestly swear you know every detail about this undercover mission? Can you!"

Starfire paused suddenly, acknowledging some truth to Beastboy's ranting. How much information _did_ Raven disclose? What if there was something…some major detail left lingering in the shadows? Could this whole idea have been a setup? Heck, even Terra's resurrection had been on false pretenses…

Oh! The door! Starfire dashed out of the room, skidding into the hallway and stopping abruptly when she finally noticed the tears in Raven's eyes. "Why so sad, friend?" Tentatively the alien reached out and rested a hand on her teammates shaking shoulders.

Raven sniffed, wiping the tears away with shaking fingers. "Nothing…W-we're fine." The sorceress turned away and exhaled shakily, a groan of agitation leaving her blood-red lips.

In the silence permeating the grand hallway, Starfire could only stare at her friend in wonder. Walking forward, the alien rested her hands on the marbled round table that rested beside the coat rack. _We? _ Starfire blinked several times…what on earth did she mean by we? Pursing her lips, the alien placed a reassuring hand against Raven's slumped back. "It'll be ok…Come; everyone wants to talk to you."

At those words, the sorrowful look vanished from Raven's face…leaving nothing behind but cold indifference. Inhaling softly, the sorceress nodded. "What about exactly?"

Starfire looked back anxiously, hoping no one would enter the hall any time soon. Swiftly, she leaned over slightly, whispering frantically in Raven's ear. "Beastboy's pissed. I think something the lady said ticked him off…and he's wants answers." Pulling back, the teenager stared into Raven's eyes for a sign.

Starfire was slightly disappointed when Raven merely laughed hysterically, and walked into the library with a condescending smirk on her lips. Was that it then? Couldn't she have at least been horrified? Quickly the red-haired teenager tiptoed into the room, pounced into the couch beside Raven and promptly burst into giggles as the two collided into each other. It was relieving to see her friend with a genuine smile on her lips. The half-demon's smile had started to border the thin line of sanity. Maybe when all this blew over…she'd be normal again.

"This was all part of your plan, wasn't it Raven!" Beastboy's harsh growl broke the calm silence. "You knew exactly what she'd be doing, didn't you!"

Starfire paled slightly and turned to Raven, watching as the young woman crossed her arms and sat back, a defiant look on her features. "What exactly, Beastboy?"

"Our informant, Melissa is a prostitute. And somehow, she recognized Terra…and you. Now either she's an avid follower of Jump City Daily, or there's something you're _still _hiding from us. And whatever it is…I think we all have a right to know."

The alien bit her lip, trying not to gasp in horror at Beastboy's revelation. Was Terra really working undercover as a prostitute? And no one knew? How awful! Starfire turned, watching Raven's blank face with confusion. Did Raven really know about it…this entire time? "Raven, did Terra know about this?"

Raven blinked, her violet eyes locking on the shapeshifter with a steely glare. "Like I said, Terra was told of any risks. Her consent was fully informed." Crossing her legs slowly, the sorceress pursed her lips…it almost seemed as if she didn't care. "Shall I tell you why Terra agreed? She was looking for someone…someone she once loved."

"Who?" Starfire blurted out, ignoring Beastboy's sputtering.

Raven laughed, her violet eyes glowing with a strange light. "You didn't honestly think I brought her back for you Beastboy, did you? Don't flatter yourself. I needed something from her…and she wanted my information."

"So this whole 'investigation' was simply a business transaction? You two plotted and planned this whole charade?" Cyborg's red eye seemed to glow with an angry light as he spoke and his fists clenched in a threating manner.

"It couldn't be helped…" Raven paused and stared at her black polished nails. "I needed liability. You people…you'd do anything for Terra, just as long as she 'came back from the dead'. I brought her back….and you didn't disappoint me."

"What are you gaining from this, Raven?" Robin asked quietly, his face betraying no emotions. In fact, one could say the young man looked…impressed. His hands remained crossed at his sides, almost like a judge reviewing a prize winning presentation. Maybe as a detective, he was impressed.

For almost a year Raven and Terra had concealed their scheme…deceiving even Batman's apprentice. Starfire let out a breath. Something didn't make sense though… "Raven, how does Melissa know you?"

"Melissa and Raven both worked for Erik…as prostitutes." Beastboy's voice shattered the apprehensive silence.

Starfire watched as the shape-shifter stared at the floor, the anger in his face replaced with a look of pity. Why was he feeling pity now? The alien couldn't help but wonder. And was this what Raven wanted from the beginning…someone to understand her pain? Maybe she did this for revenge?

"I wasn't his prostitute. I was his 'prized possession'…a trophy. Of course I had to get away…Melissa wasn't so lucky." Raven's voice was quiet, and composed…as if revealing such a secret didn't matter. The subtle shaking of the teenager's fingers wasn't lost on Starfire.

Robin sat forward, arms resting on his thighs. "And Angel's mother?"

"She lost her life…trying to help me escape. But this isn't about me. The Justice League wants Erik out of the way…and if Terra did her job right, now you know exactly where he is. Isn't that why we came to Gotham in the first place?" Raven questioned, the smug and haughty look now etched on her features.

"Damn. You really played us well, Raven." Cyborg mumbled, shaking his head in disbelief. "This is what you've wanted all along, wasn't it? You knew the Justice League was looking for him…and they went straight to you, didn't they? Why didn't you just tell them? Is this some sick game of revenge? After what they did to you…this is payback?"

Raven stood a cold look on her face. "No. This isn't revenge. I am allowing them to keep some semblance of dignity…their blameless reputation. Revenge comes later." The sorceress laughed again, somehow amused at the entire situation. "I really wanted to come clean to them, truly I did. Then I found another person...forced to break the law in their name. Did you know, Cyborg? That the Justice League bribes disadvantaged citizens to commit crimes in exchange for better lives? Robin, I said you were above the law, didn't I? Now you know why."

The Boy Wonder's fist clenched tightly as he let out a shaky breath. "And Gabriel Sanchez?" Robin questioned, still staring at his teammate with a look of awe.

"Why, revenge of course…he knows everything about Erik. They are similar in kind…and their friendship runs back for thousands of years. Decades of strained peace finally shattered the night his wife was killed." Raven raised an eyebrow. "Are you catching on now, Robin?"

"What about Jinx and Argent? Or Kid Flash? That intel on Red X…did you have something to do with it?" Robin's voice took on a strained tone, and it was beginning to seem like he was losing his patience.

Starfire only stayed silent, unable to help the swell of pride that bubbled in her heart. Raven really was a true warrior…to have hidden this much in plain sight! On Tameran such deception, in order to capture the enemy, would result in days of feasting and gifts of priceless cost.

The sorceress only shook her head. "They had nothing to do with my schemes…and I would never orchestrate my near death…no matter how desperate. But Erik Greyson needed to be taken down…and no one in this god-forsaken country was doing anything to stop him! How many more people must be dragged to living hell before he is stopped! How many more must die before something is done! "

Raven slowly slumped into the sofa and buried her head in shaking fingers. Drawing in an unstable breath, she spoke quietly. "I pulled you into this battle…but I cannot fight much longer. I cannot find peace…"

Was she crying? Starfire placed a gentle hand on Raven's shivering body, wondering why she felt so cold. Peace, revenge…which was it? At times it seemed like the girl's personality was divided…and she effortlessly switched between the vicious unfeeling vixen and the tortured hurting soul. Ever since that incident….ever since Raven had been shot. Her personality began to dissociate, splitting into strange fragments that no one could understand or comprehend. The restlessness, the constant mumbling, outbursts of anger and rage…those pills from long ago!

No, much longer than that…she started acting like this after that vision. After that night Red X managed to enter the Tower… Starfire's green eyes widened with horror. Exactly how long had Raven been slowly falling apart?

"Do you think Terra was the sacrifice, Garfield? No…she escaped it all. Terra's found where she belongs…now she's free." Raven finally looked up, her eyes glistening with tears. "You'll live though, you all will…I'll make sure of that."

The young woman struggled to her feet and turned towards the door, her unstable footsteps almost agonizing. "I-I won't forget you…so please, disregard my transgressions. Please remember that I was once your good friend." Turning, she smiled tearfully. "No matter what happens, I have no regrets."

* * *

_I know what you must be thinking._

_How could I have planned all this? Would I be boasting if I said it all came to me one day...probably? I know it sounds like one big stupid plot device…probably the result of too much vodka and thriller novels. __But I had no other choice…I couldn't deal with it any more. How much longer did I have to suffer that man's constant presence in my mind? How many more sleepless nights would I have to suffer...how much longer could I resist my slow descent into madness? _

_The voices in my head...those screaming and tormented voices that haunted me every hour of the day. They grew louder...beginning to bleed into my already unstable reality. Everywhere I turned, I could see him...watching me from the shadows, that twisted smile on his face. __Didn't I deserve freedom and sanity? __It was like facing my father once more…but without my powers. __Perhaps I should have told the Justice League his whereabouts... but I couldn't bring myself to do that either._

_Why should those people get the happy ending, obtain the reward for apprehending a man that had schemed under their noses for decades? Clark Kent in his self-righteousness, couldn't __lower himself to the level of playing pimp in an effort to rid the country of such a menace._

_They were content to ignore Erik Greyson and his human trafficking ring...until they found a victim to exploit. Then the music changed... and day after day inside that wretched building all I heard was, 'Tell us where he is and we'll let you live' or 'Don't you want to go to college? If you cooperate, we'll make that happen' and 'You don't have to be afraid of him...we'll protect you'. _

_Fucking bastards...how could they so easily forget those doctors plotting to kill me! Why would I cooperate with the very people who wanted me dead simply because of my father? No, I couldn't trust the Justice League anymore...they were just as corrupt and as wicked as Erik. I was a plaything to them...just a means to an end. _

_That night when Red X broke into my room…the night I had that horrible vision, I knew then that something would have to be done. I had been contemplating running away, going back to that man and his torture or even suicide, then I remembered Terra. __Blonde haired, green eyed Terra…traitorous Terra. Such a naive little girl with a father complex and years of pent-up sexual frustration._

_I remembered her love for Slade. So twisted and yet…familiar. Falling in love with the person who wronged and mistreated you…is such a thing normal? __Perhaps I was just as twisted as Terra was...maybe more so considering how much I craved and yet despised my attraction to Malchior. Sometimes I curse my empathic abilities…how can such a gift be so crude and yet so…perceptive?_

_Love was such a stupid emotion…a nuisance. I remember thinking this as I plotted and planned her escape and my retribution. It was simple really, my plan. All I had to do was find a reason for the team to visit Gotham. Robin's curious and righteous nature would take over the rest. He would have to defeat the villain and restore order...and Batman would be obligated to help. Everything was perfect…then Derek came. __Derek with his golden, cat-like eyes and beautiful voice. Derek who played guitar like Jeremy…Derek who made me fall in love again._

_Hadn't I sworn off such emotions? How could he come into my life and fill me with doubt…with uncertainty and hesitation? My plans had been ruined…and instead of the glorious victory I'd imagined all these months, all I could envision was bitter remorse. Something bad was going to happen…Erik would make sure of that. _

_And to protect everyone…to protect Derek, I was going to have to surrender. I was going to become the sacrifice..._

_Why didn't I regret it?_

* * *

Two weeks

It had been two weeks since anyone heard from Raven. She simply disappeared one morning...how could one miss such a thing? Thinking back...all the signs were present that day, the tea kettle that usually graced the stove was absent, resting instead in the cabinet with the other cooking pots and pans. The television sitting on the counter by Bruce's phone was off...and Raven's coat was missing from the rack by the front door.

No one noticed...not even Bruce himself.

Cyborg let out a sigh, his heart filled with self-loathing emotions. Raven was like a little sister to him...how could he have ignored such signs? Sitting back, the cybernetic paused his absent tinkering...for days he'd been trying to figure out exactly what was wrong with Raven's communicator and why it only worked when at the Tower. What exactly could she have done to the device...something that even he couldn't figure out? A dry chuckle left the man's lips as he stared at the circular communicator resting on the table.

Standing slowly the man left his room and entered his kitchen, pausing to stare at the green titan's hunched form on the couch. Was he blaming himself for Raven's disappearance? Perhaps in some way everyone was responsible. Maybe if he'd been more insistent, Raven would have at least said something before disappearing.

The jar in his hand slipped and landed with a hard slam on the counter. "Damn it." With a huff of annoyance, the young man swiped the loaf of bread from the fridge and began to fix a peanut butter sandwich. It would have been better with grape but no one was feeling up to a food run. Someone would have to go shopping soon, there wasn't any juice or milk left.

Cyborg wasn't expecting the door bell to sound as he sat down with his snack. Who one earth could that be? The mayor, come to snoop about and demand the whereabouts of Raven? Until how long would they be forced to lie to the man's face, feeding him bullshit about vacations and family issues? What would happen if he found out the truth? The mayor controlled a lot of the money that entered their hands...if he stopped paying, what would happen to the Tower?

Should he simply ignore it? Let whoever it was file a formal complaint? Cyborg shook his head and looked down once more at the communicator, noting with curiosity how all the red wires had been rerouted with the black ones. Why rearrange them like that?

A frown crossed his lips as he realized that the wires weren't just rerouted...every single red and black wire formed an 'X'! How did scrambling the wires in such an arbitrary manner result in extremely selective communicating range?

"Cyborg!" The Tameranian's voice cut across the silence, she sounded very insistent. "You must come quickly!" What could be the problem?

Rising, the cybernetic set down the cold glass of juice and hurried after the girl's voice. As he neared the front door he could see that indeed something was very wrong. There, barely able to balance on his own two feet, Derek leaned against the doorway clutching his side in agony. Why was he so pale looking?

"Star, he looks sick. Let's get him to the med-bay." Quickly Cyborg began to assist the man inside, growing even more worried about the man's frigid body temperature. It was almost ninety degrees outside!

"He never comes if Raven's not around..." Starfire's voice trailed off as she opened the doors of the med-bay and dashed to turn on the computer monitors. "I think he will need some blood tests, if a full body scan will not reveal anything."

"No! No tests...I'm fine." Derek shouted weakly as he struggled against Cyborg's grip. Pushing the man away, he sat up and took several deep breaths, eyelids still clenched tightly.

"Derek, we just want to help...you don't look fine." Starfire reassured, placing a hand tentatively against the man's shoulder. The alien's eyes seemed conflicted as she watched the twenty-four year old slowly open his eyes. A frightened gasp left her lips and the scanning device fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

Cyborg stared in awe and confusion. Derek's eyes...why were his eyes glowing? The cybernetic furrowed his brows and clenched his fists. Who exactly was he? Could this man have been a meta-human this entire time? What powers or abilities did he possess?

"Cyborg...Derek is not completely human, is he." Starfire deadpanned as she continued eyeing the man with suspicion. Her jade green eyes widened and the girl twirled around, hands clasped together in realization. "You think Raven knows? Maybe she's been trying to hide it and -"

"Starfire, you realize he can hear every word, right?" Cyborg quipped with a smirk of amusement. Starfire's animated character always seemed to brighten anyone's day. "Derek, you have to tell us what the problem is-"

The man turned swiftly, the strange light in his eyes gaining an intimidating aura. "Raven's still missing, isn't she." A strange smirk played around the corners of his lips as his eyes took in the shocked looks. "For people who claim to be her best friends, I'm surprised you couldn't anticipate this."

The cybernetic bit back the anger bubbling in his mind. At the moment he wanted nothing more than to smack the all-knowing smirk from Derek's face. A huff of exasperation left his lips; did he really come all this way simply to taunt and gloat? Why did Raven even like the guy? "Why did you come here, Derek?"

Derek stood from the cot and walked towards the door, all traces of the strange illness gone from his features. Pausing dramatically, the man turned around and spoke, "I found Raven."

* * *

**Review please! **

**~heartless16**


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